Coming Home (Homeward Bound Series Book 1) (9 page)

Without waking her I carried her inside and laid her on the end of my bed. “Zoe! Zoe!” I called softly, trying to wake her as she flopped over. She never woke. I pulled off her shoes. I needed to get her jeans and my shirt off her but after everything that she’d been through, I couldn’t bring myself to undress her. Not while she was unconscious.

“Come on, Pippi! It’s time for you to wake up,” I tried again.

She mumbled and murmured and rolled over. Her hair covered her face. I smoothed it away. She looked so peaceful.

“Sleeping beauty. Wake up.” I nudged her a little harder.

She sat up, a little wobbly. “Ugh!”

“Morning, sunshine.” I chuckled as I took in her dishevelled state. “Come on, stand up and let me help you out of these rum-soaked clothes. Then you can sleep.”

“’Kay,” she muttered, running her hands over her face.

Despite everything she was still beautiful. She was still my Zoe. Now was most definitely not the time to be having these thoughts. I let her go and she shook on her unstable legs. Forcing myself to step away from her, I grabbed one of my worn t-shirts and handed it to her.

“Why don’t you go into the bathroom, wash your face, and get changed. I’ll grab my stuff and get out of here.”

Zoe didn’t answer but instead accepted the shirt and shuffled off towards the bathroom. As soon as I heard the bathroom door click shut I quickly stripped off and pulled on some sleep pants and a shirt before turning down my bed. I stumbled into the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water and two aspirin before making my way back to my bedroom to wait for her to re-emerge. I didn’t have to wait long.

“Hey,” Zoe mumbled sleepily.

She looked hot in my shirt and very little else. She shouldn’t, but fuck, she did. It clung to everything and fell mid-thigh. As soon as my eyes landed on her scratched and scuffed knees my libido froze and my neck snapped straight.

Swallowing the golf ball sized lump in my throat, I forced the words out, “Here, drink this.” I stiffly handed her the glass of water. “And take these.”

Zoe raised a quizzical eyebrow.

“They’re just aspirin.”

“Okay,” Zoe agreed quickly as she tossed them in her mouth, following them with a long gulp.

“All right, Pippi, bed time. Come on, in you get.” I laughed, holding up the blankets.

Compliantly, Zoe wiggled under the covers and made herself comfortable. Her hair splayed out over my pillow, her eyes closed, and her soft breathing made everything seem right in the world. I didn’t want to disturb that. I walked over and flicked off the light switch, unable to stop myself from turning back. Snow White had nothing on my girl.

“Where you going?” she grumbled sleepily.

“Sleep, Zoe, it’s late.”

“M’kay,” Zoe mumbled before she fell into a deep, snore-filled sleep.

I watched her sleep for a few minutes before I shuffled off and collapsed onto the lounge. It had been a long day. Even though I knew how damn uncomfortable the couch was, I didn’t care. Sleep wasn’t going to elude me tonight.

Chapter 17

ZOE

There was nothing I hated more than praying to the porcelain gods. I’d woken up early―too early―but the sun had snuck through the gap between the dull grey curtains. That’s when the world started to spin. Fast. Wildly. My stomach lurched and I barely made it to the bathroom before the contents launched themselves into the bowl.

For a long time I sat on the cool tiles, too afraid to stand. Every time I made an attempt to move, everything around me spun and my stomach clenched. Sitting on the floor gave me a new perspective. Glancing around at Spencer’s bathroom, I was pleasantly surprised by how clean it was. Everything had a home.

A knock at the door shocked the shit out of me. “I’m in here!” I called out quickly.

“You okay, Zoe?” I heard the concern in Spencer’s shaky voice.

Gulping down the lump in my throat, I ran my tongue over my teeth. As soon as I did, regret flooded me. They were covered by a disgusting furry coating. Then I remembered why I didn’t usually drink. Between the vomiting and the spinning and the overall feeling of yuck, I never wanted to drink again.

“Yeah,” I groaned.

“Can I come in?”

“Spencer, I’m fine…”

“Zoe…”

“I’m okay,” I gagged. I knew I was lying. Right now I didn’t care. The last thing I needed right now was for someone to see me like this. Especially Spencer.

I should have known he wouldn’t listen. He never did. Not even a closed door between us could keep him out. It opened gently and Spencer stepped through. If I thought he looked hot in clothes, well in pyjamas he was simply mouth-watering. His pants hung low on his hips and the white singlet clung to his chest. The boy was ripped.

“Hi,” he grinned, leaning causally against the sink, his arms folded over his wide chest.

“Hi,” I replied as I felt the embarrassment creep up over my cheeks, scorching them.

I ran my hands over my face and through my hair. I didn’t need a mirror to tell me how bad I looked. If it was half as bad as I felt, I couldn’t understand how Spencer was still staring at me.

It took all my strength and energy to push my numb butt from the floor. Using the wall to keep me steady, I managed to pull myself upright. The room was still whirling around me and I was too nervous to take a step. Glancing up, I saw Spencer tracking my every movement. As I shuffled towards the sink, my unsteady legs faltered. I didn’t have time to hit the ground. Before I even had a chance, Spencer’s warm arms wrapped around me and steadied me.

With my heart pounding empathically, my heading spinning like a top, and my stomach in my throat, it took me a minute to pull myself together.

“Thanks,” I murmured, holding myself against the sink.

Spencer stepped behind me, his hands on my hips, balancing me. I filled the sink with cold water before splashing my face. When I patted it dry a moment later, I risked a glance in the mirror. It was worse than I could have imagined. I needed a shower. Another one. Desperately.

“All good now?”

“Yeah, but I feel gross. Can I steal some more of your hot water and have a shower?”

Spencer laughed and it shot through my body. It bounced off my head and my already pounding brain hurt more, if that was even possible.

“Go ahead. You need clean clothes?”

“Sweats would be great…if it’s not too much trouble,” I added almost as if it was an afterthought. I was pushing my luck and the boundaries. Spencer had done so much for me already and now he was giving up even more. The guilt turned over in my stomach. Since I’d crashed back into his life I’d done absolutely nothing for him. He’d done everything for me. I don’t even remember saying thank you. Not once.

With a deep, hearty chuckle, Spencer smiled genuinely, “No troubles. I’ll go find you some. Take your time.”

As Spencer stepped through the door, he looked back over his shoulder and winked at me. If I was having trouble breathing before, then now it was like all of the oxygen had been sucked from the room. I had to say something. I had to get it off my chest. “Spencer!”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

“No troubles.”

“Not just for today. For everything since…I know I probably haven’t said it enough, if I said it at all…but I mean it. Thank you.” As soon as the words were out of my mouth I felt better. Lighter. Freer.

“Any time, Pippi. Any time.” He smirked at me before vanishing out the door.

It took a moment for my pulse to return to normal and my breathing to get back under control. When I stepped under the thundering pulse of the scalding water, I felt better. Instantly. For a long moment I just stood there, the water beating down on my head. After I washed my hair, scrubbed the remnants of last night’s makeup from my face, and brushed my teeth, I stepped from the shower feeling refreshed and reinvigorated.

Wrapping the towel around me, I wiped the condensation from the mirror and looked at the woman staring back at me. I barely recognised her. The bruises had deepened and the memories came flooding back. With trembling fingers I prodded my ribs. They were sore. More than sore. The ached like a bitch.

I pulled the towel around me tighter and tighter. I didn’t want to see it any more. I didn’t want them to be there. As silent tears fell from my eyes, as I tried to force my mind to shut it away, I wished the person looking back at me was someone else. Someone not so damaged. Someone less broken. Someone less sad. I pulled open the door. Folded in a perfect pile at the door was a pair of sweat pants and an oversized jumper. Spencer had even dug through my bag and found a pair of panties and thin pink camisole. The thought of Spencer pulling my lacy underwear from my bag made me smile. I knew him well enough to know he would have been extremely uncomfortable handling my delicates. Grabbing the clothes, I ducked back into the bathroom and dressed as quickly as my movements would allow.

Ten minutes later I emerged from the bathroom to the smell of bacon. Following my nose, I tracked the enticing scent. If I hadn’t thought Spencer was sex on legs before, now I knew I was lost. He was standing at the stove flipping pancakes, singing along to the radio.

It took him a moment before he realised I’d walked into the room. Taking a seat at the bench, I watched the floor show with a wide, honest smile. I couldn’t stifle the giggle.

“Something funny?” he asked, spinning around a spatula in one hand a piece of bacon in the other.

Stealing the bacon from his fingertips, I grinned up at him. “Not at all. Just enjoying the entertainment.”

“Smart ass,” he scolded. “You want pancakes and bacon?”

“And maple syrup?”

“That’s a given, isn’t it?”

“If it’s not, it should be.” I laughed, crunching the bacon. It was cooked exactly the way I liked it. Crispy and full of flavour. The boy could cook. “What can I do to help?”

“Pour the coffee?”

“Done.” I grinned widely, the cut on my lip re-opening and the metallic taste of blood mingling with the bacon.

For a few minutes we moved in sync around his small kitchen. It wasn’t awkward and we didn’t get in each other’s way. Together, we organised breakfast like it was something we did every day. By the time we sat down to eat I couldn’t believe how much food Spencer had piled on my plate.

“So…what’s on the agenda today?” Spencer enquired casually, stuffing another forkful of pancakes into his mouth.

I could see in his eyes that there was something more he wanted to say, he remained silent.

“Um, not sure.” I shrugged half-heartedly.

“Well then, what do you want to do?”

“Honestly?”

“Always.”

“I just want to lay low, if that okay. If you’re busy and I’m in your way, let me know and I can go back to the hotel. I never cancelled my booking…” I was prattling on and I knew it.

“Zoe…” there was something in Spencer’s voice that sent a shiver down my spine. Without a word he took the knife and fork from my hand and set it down before wrapping his hands around mine. “Firstly, you are never in my way. Ever. Secondly, laying low sounds perfect. I have no plans.”

“If you’re sure…”

“One hundred and ten percent,” he stated directly before planting a soft kiss on my cheek. “Oh, and Zoe. Cancel that hotel room. You’re staying here.”

Chapter 18

SPENCER

I shouldn’t have kissed her. I knew it the moment I did it and maybe even before then, but that didn’t stop me. I did it anyway. I wanted to regret it. I really did. I couldn’t. I just couldn’t bring myself to regret it any more than I could have stopped myself.

I had to move away before I did something stupid. Something even more stupid. Grabbing my plate, I shuffled into the kitchen and started washing up. I needed a moment to get my head on straight and my traitorous libido under control. I scrubbed the pan hard…too hard…but it felt good. It was the perfect distraction.

“Want a hand?” Zoe asked, sidling up beside me.

I sucked in a long deep breath. Even with the bruises and the scratches and the scrapes and the hangover she was still beautiful. “I’m g-good,” I stuttered, barely able to spit the words out.

Zoe dropped her plate in the sink, grabbed a tea towel, and began drying. We moved side by side silently. I finished up as quickly as I could. “I’m going to duck in for a shower. Ring and cancel the hotel.”

“Okay.”

“Won’t be long,” I promised as I shuffled towards the bathroom.

Pushing the door closed behind me, I leant on it heavily, grateful for its strength. It was the only thing holding me up. The only thing keeping me upright. I’m not sure how long I stood there, it felt like a lifetime. Or maybe it was barely a breath. It didn’t matter. I just needed some space.

Half an hour passed before I emerged from an icy shower, dressed, with my head screwed on tight enough to know better. Walking back into the lounge room, I saw Zoe curled in a ball in the recliner. My heart squeezed. She was a sight to behold. My girl, wearing my clothes, sitting in my chair. It looked natural. Normal. Perfect. Shaking off the thought, I strode back into the room.

“Hey.” Zoe smiled, looking up at me, her phone in her hand.

“Hi.” I grinned back at her. I knew I looked like a fool, I just didn’t care.

“Anything exciting happening?”

“Nah, not really. Monique’s invited us to a barbecue this afternoon.” She shrugged. She showed absolutely no signs of enthusiasm or desire to go.

“Wanna go?”

“Not really.”

“Movie day?” I suggested, secretly hoping she’d say yes. I had no wish to go anywhere, let alone socialise.

“Sounds perfect.”

I couldn’t hide the sigh of relief, or the wide, relieved smile that covered my face. Jumping from the lounge, I squatted down in front of the TV and started shuffling through the cabinets. “What are you in the mood for?”

“What you got?”

“Action. Adventure. Sci-Fi. Comedy. Crime. Horror. Thriller.”

“No chick flicks?”

I didn’t know if she was kidding or not. Shrugging, I answered her, “No. Sorry. Not much use for them.”

“How ’bout a romantic comedy?” Zoe’s voice shook.

“Nah.”

“Comedy then?” Zoe’s voice shook slightly. If I didn’t know her so well, even I would have missed it.

The look in her eyes broke my heart. There was something there I couldn’t put my finger on. Something I didn’t understand. When she chewed on her fingernail I found myself pulling my phone from my pocket and tapping out a quick text. I mightn’t be able to take away her pain. I mightn’t be able to erase what happened. I could do something to distract her. Hopefully it wouldn’t take too long.

Grabbing the first DVD I could that fit her request, I put it in and flopped into the couch, remote in hand. The movie started and I stole a glance at Zoe. The tears flowed freely down her cheeks. Even the stupid antics of Adam Sandler failed to bring a smile to Zoe’s sad face. I wanted to grab her and pull her into my lap and hold on. Hold on for dear life and never let go. The only thing stopping me right now was the fact I wasn’t quite sure how she’d react if I went all caveman on her.

It took barely forty-five minutes before the knock at the door I’d been expecting startled me. Zoe’s tears had stopped, but she looked tired. It was more than just tired. It was this all-consuming exhaustion. Scrambling to my feet, Zoe’s eyes tracked my every move. I stayed silent but offered her a sly wink. She had no idea what I was up to but the sadistic part of me liked keeping her off balance.

Pulling open the door, a plastic bag was thrust into my hand and arms wrapped around my neck. “Hey there.”

“Hi Mum.”

“You going to let me in?”

“Come on in.”

She walked in, squeezing my shoulder as she passed me. “Hey Zoe.” She smiled as she stepped into the room. It was as if Mum’s words broke the dam that she’d been holding on to. Violent sobs shook Zoe’s whole body. I wanted to jump the couch and take her in my arms and soothe her pain. Make it my own. Anything to make it easier for her…but I didn’t. Instead Mum shot me a look that froze me where I stood.

“Zoe, sweetheart…” Mum’s voice broke

I watched as Mum stepped towards her. Slow, measured steps. She approached Zoe like she was a skittish, frightened, wide-eyed puppy. Then Mum did the one thing I couldn’t. She reached out and held her. Mum was so soft and gentle with her. I couldn’t remember her ever being like that with me and Kane before. Then again, we’d never needed her like Zoe did right now. I felt the tears welling inside me, but now wasn’t the time or the place for me to cry like a baby. Shifting the plastic bag still hanging from my fingers, I headed for the kitchen. I tossed Mum a look as I moved out of the room, and she nodded, acknowledging me.

Unpacking the bag, I realised Mum had outdone herself. Again. When I’d texted her asking her to drop off a few chick flicks that I knew were in her own collection, I’d never expected her to shop as well. There it was. What I could only assume was the equivalent of a female survival kit. Chocolate, ice cream, tissues, popcorn, potato chips, and a wide variety of movies.

I could hear the sobbing and Mum’s soothing, steady voice. I could have gone back in there but the truth was I was too chicken shit. I didn’t want to see the pain on Zoe’s face. I knew myself. If I couldn’t fix it or if I couldn’t take it away, I didn’t know how to deal with it. So, I did what every other spineless, heartless bastard would do when confronted with a sobbing mess of a woman. I ducked out the back door and escaped into the backyard.

For hours I kept myself busy. I pulled weeds, swept the paths, pruned the trees. I even re-nailed some loose fence posts. Anything to avoid going back in the house. When the thoughts crept up and blindsided me again, I just pushed harder. I may have bent more nails than I’d hammered in, it just felt so good to work out the aggression.

“Spencer?” Mum called out across the yard.

I wiped the sweat from my forehead and stalked towards the house. “Yeah?” I replied unable to keep the nervousness from my voice.

“You coming back any time soon?”

“Is it safe?”

Mum laughed. She knew I was struggling with everything. “Come on cry baby.” She laughed.

“She okay?”

“No. Not really. But she will be. She just needs time. And support. And love,” Mum said, her eyes never once leaving mine.

I knew my Mum. I knew her silence was a question, and it was hanging over me like a thick, suffocating blanket. “She’ll get through it, Mum.” I knew as soon as I said it I meant it. I didn’t care what happened or what it cost me. Zoe was my priority. My number one priority.

“Go inside. Take care of our girl. I’ll send Kane by later with some dinner,” Mum told me as she led me inside by the elbow.

Mum led me into the lounge room and for a long minute we just stood in the corner of the room and watched her. Zoe had fallen asleep curled up on my couch, wrapped in the comforter from my bed. Her hair fanned out across the cushion, her rosy cheeks rose softly with each short, shallow breath. She looked like an angel. My angel.

As we stepped out the front door, I squinted in the sunlight. Mum reached up and kissed my cheek, “She needs you, Spence. Even when she thinks she doesn’t, she does.”

“I know.”

“And I know she didn’t want me to tell you this…” Mum paused. I saw the indecision in her eyes. She wanted me to know but at the same time she wanted to keep Zoe’s confidence. I couldn’t push her. If she decided to tell me, that had to be her choice. I couldn’t force it from her.

“But…” I encouraged.

“You need to know that she’s afraid of you,” Mum spluttered as the words caught in her throat.

“Afraid of me?”

“Spencer, calm down. Zoe’s not dumb. She knows you’d never deliberately hurt her. But right now she’s scared. Of everything. And you’re a part of that. A big one. I think she wants to tell you the truth. Tell you what really happened. She’s so afraid of how you’ll react, so she’s bottling it up instead―and that’s not healthy. It’s going to eat at her. She needs to tell someone.”

“Tell me what I’ve got to do. How do I help her?”

“Be there. Be calm. When she decides to tell you, think before you act. Think about what you say before you say it.”

I laughed. Not at the situation, but at how well Mum knew me. She knew the moment I found out the details I’d blow a gasket. At least now I’d been warned. “If she tells me…”

“She will. Just give her a chance.”

“I will.”

“I’ve got to go. Call me if you need anything.”

“Thanks, Mum. For everything.” I hugged her tight, and strangely, I found myself not wanting to let go. Mum ran her hands up and down my back before stepping out of my grasp.

I watched her climb behind the wheel of her SUV and pull out. I stood still and watched her car until she was out of sight. Once she was gone, I sucked in a deep breath. It was now or never. Climbing the steps, I went back inside. With my arms folded across my chest, I watched Zoe snore. I couldn’t breathe. I felt like a snake was wrapped around me, stealing the air. Her eye was surrounded by an angry black bruise and the bandage on her forehead needed changing. I wanted to punch something. If I ever got my hands on the asshole who’d done this, he wouldn’t need a hospital. He’d need an undertaker.

Kicking off my boots, I sniffed my shirt. I stunk. Pulling it over my head, I tossed it on the floor and pulled on a clean one. Zoe didn’t deserve to be subjected to that type of stench. When I collapsed onto the couch beside her, I couldn’t stop myself from reaching out and pushing an errant curl back from her face. Zoe half woke. Her eyes fluttered open and a sneaky smile crossed her lips.

“Morning,” I taunted as I felt the smirk tug at my lips.

“Shut up. I needed the nap,” she admonished, slapping my chest with a giggle. It sounded so good. There was nothing like hearing Zoe laugh to make everything better.

“Okay. Well, you definitely had that. I heard you. So did half the neighbourhood.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You were snoring.”

Zoe shot up, wincing and grabbing at her ribs as she did. It was obvious she’d forgotten about her injuries in her haste to get up. “I don’t snore!” she denied vehemently.

I slid from the lounge and out of harm’s way. “Hate to break it to you, but you do. I happen to think it’s cute.” I winked as I changed the DVD.

Zoe snuck out of the room and I found myself praying she’d taken my teasing as nothing more than that. I just wanted to make her laugh. Make her smile. Make her forget. When she slipped back onto the couch I noticed she’d gone for supplies. Slumping back into the couch with the block of chocolate and the bag of popcorn, Zoe patted the seat beside her. Anxiously I sat carefully beside her, making sure I left a gap. The last thing I needed to do was make her feel more uncomfortable. Zoe didn’t give me a choice. Instantly she snuggled into my side. Pulling the blanket from the back of the couch, I spread it over her. She dropped her head against my chest. I was certain she could feel my wildly beating heart.

“Comfy?” I mocked, unable to bite my tongue.

Wiggling against me, Zoe looked up and just smiled. “I am now.”

She looked happy. Young and innocent. If you looked past the evidence of evil, Zoe was there. She was causing trouble as always. I knew how to fix that. Pressing play, my eyes never left hers.

“You shit head!” she exclaimed, slapping me.