Commitments (31 page)

Barbara Delinsky - Commitments

strength. could have done it.' $ibrina. dropped her eyes to her wineglass. Its rim ted the flicker of the candle that burned in its r between them. ' you think I'm nuts?' Derek asked. She wanted to tell him no, to be supportive at all ts, but he'd come to expect honesty from her, and honest opinion was that the scenario he'd outlined room for doubt. 11 don't know Greer, but'I find it that any one man could have that much r - not that he could have it, per se, but that he abuse it like that., ' is an old hand at the abuse of power. He wrote book on, wheeling and dealing. The network is i ly a dictatorship. Greer wants things his way. wants to be the one in control., ' ...' She struggled to find the words to express skepticism without offending Derek. ' how can get away with it? You're sumesting that he was Ive in an extensive cover-up - not only of his nship with Ballantine but of your commission murder.' ."'Oh, I committed the murder, all right/ Derek said disgust. ' did it in self-defense and probably would have been acquitted of all charges had it not been for the ftnesses who testified that you had Padilla down and have tossed the gun away but instead chose to shoot him. How could Greer buy off those witnesses, y off judges along the way, even, for all we know, 313 buy off prison officials to give you a hard time - and have no one tell what he'd done?' Derek brought the wineglass to his mouth and downed its contents in a single swallow. Sabrina had a right to her skepticism, he supposed, and it was no more than he could expect from the rest of the world unless he produced those files. ' has a method. It isn't unique, but it works. He goes on the theory that every man has his weakness, and that all he has to do is to find that weakness, and the man is his.' ' you saying that Greer had something on a nobody like Joey Padilla?' ''s exactly what I'm saying. The nobodies of the world have just as much to lose as the somebodies, Sabrina. Don't fool yourself into thinking otherwise. You did it once before, when you suggested that I had more to lose in terms of independence and pride than some of the other guys in prison, and I told you that you were wrong - just like I'm telling you now.' ''s not - ' ' Padilla might have been shit to us, but at some level his life had meaning, and if someone or something threatened that meaning, he may well have bargained to preserve it.' Sabrina felt chastised. ''m sorry. I didn't mean to say - I ' wife and kids maybe they were his weakness. Maybe the wife was sick. Or one of the children. You never had a worry about money in caring for Nicky, but not everyone is as lucky as you. I '/ Sabrina said in a small voice,

'but'no amount of money paid for even the most -sympatheti cause can justify murder. Joey Padillawas hired to kill you, Derek.' 314 Derek stared at her for several long, silent moments P@@'W'ore slumping a little. ' know.' Setting down her glass, she slid around the bottle of wine and the candle and put an arm around his neck. :4you value life. Where you find sympathy for a man *ho would have killed you himself if held been a little o quicker is beyond me. I admire you for it.' ''t admire me. I killed him. in seff-defense.' ''s just as dead.' She put her lips to his ear and kissed him there, slid her other arm around him and held him tight. She wished she could do more, but just then, hugging him . letting him know that she was on his side was all she could do to help him fight his demons. 315 Ghapter 13 ' spent hours piecing together the parts/ Derek told Sabrina the next day as he sanded one of the captain'stable legs. ' and hours. Prison is great for that. Nothing to do but work yourself into a fury over things you can't touch. I used to lie there drawing outlines in my head, turning little events this way and that, trying to make it all work. I kept telling myself that if I had a day, one day, to ask questions, make phone calls, study files and records, I'd have answers, because I was an investigator, as good as any damn cop. But I didn't have a day. I was a carpenter without tools. And then I'd lie there picturing Greer grinning smugly behind his Page 114

Barbara Delinsky - Commitments

big glass desk, in front of his big glass windows that looked down on all of New York, and I knew that if he'd been in front of me that minute I'd have strangled him.' Lips compressed, he looked away. Then, with a small headshake, a silent personal order, he determinedly distanced himself from the anger. It was a cloudy afternoon. He and Sabrina had slept late, treated themselves to brunch in town, then returned. They were in the barn - this time wearing sweaters to ward off the nip in the air - but still they were barefoot, seated side by side on the floor.

"Anyway, as I see it, Greer got scared when I approached him about Ballantine. He knew how I worked - that I went after stories with a vengeance - and he guessed that I might keep at this one even 316 "Id told me not to. He musthave panicked JLJLC he found out I was doing that.' Sut how could he have found out? You said you were doing it on your own time. I ' of the show's associate producers was a nice a little insecure but eager to get ahead. We'd together a lot. I could bounce ideas off her se she was bright. She was also a second cousin

"Ito Gerald Carruthers, the man who filled Ballantine's spot on the bench. If there had been dirt floating I_-"'&wund, Carruthers would have known it. Dori was A, going to see him at another cousin's wedding, and I thought it w ould be great if she felt him out, maybe ,,',,set up a meeting for me. Greer must have known that ,--,she and I had a close working relationship. He must liave gotten to her.' Did you ever ask her about it? I ' did. She denied it, but soon after she got a promotion. She's been producing stories herself since ffien. And when I saw her last week - ' saw her?' ' the tudio. I stopped to see wha was happ Z@, - enmg, t s

'"and she was one of the ones who wouldn't look me in @ithe eye' There were others?' ' yeah.' Vhat was their problem?' I don't know for certain, but it sure looked like t.' He applied the sandpaper with greater force to the molded pine. That visit had been discouraging. A

,."Jew of his former staff had greeted him with genuine _@@,imiles, others with less genuine smiles, still others ,,vith averted eyes and sudden errands to run. Held felt like a pariah. 11 got the distinct impression that I wasn't ,,*,elcome there. Some of it had to do with where I'd 317 been, but it went beyond that. Even those people who talked with me seemed edgy, like they wanted to talk but didn't dare. I'm assuming someone let it be known that I was persona non grata at the studio.' Sabrina, who was doing more listening than sanding, wasn't sure what to say. She could only look at the line of disgust that thinned Derek's mouth. The line moved. ', that's probably how Greer found out I was still after Ballantine - and if it wasn't through Dori, it could have been through a handful of others who had access to my files. None of the people I worked with was perfect. We all had places to go, things to do, and all it might have taken was a little boost from Greer to help one or another of them on his way. '/ he said, taking a breath, ' knew that I wasn't letting the Ballantine matter go, and at that point he must have analyzed his options. He could have fired me, but I wouldn't have taken that sitting down, and he would have ended'up in a worse position, because I'd only have taken my story to another network and done it up with no restraints. He could have kept me on but tried to intimidate me - but he knew I wouldn't stand for that, either. After all, I was his rebel. I was outspoken. Given the history of our relationship, I'd have jumped at the chance to accuse him of blackmail.,

"So he decided to kill you, I Sabrina said in a very quiet voice. Derek frowned at the wood, brushed the dust aside. ' probably looked like the onlymay to silence me. Greer hated me enough to do it. He felt threatened enough to do it. And he was just arrogant enough to believe that he could pull it off., That said, he sanded-in silence for a time. Page 115

Barbara Delinsky - Commitments

Working 318 side, Sabrina didn't hurry him on. There was no no prison guard to make her leave. Sometimes forgot and felt the little knot in the pit of her -h that had come at the end of each visit to e, and then she'd shake herself and look at and know he was staying and smile. If her smile inappropriate, given what he was telling her, he said so. He was involved in his storytelling. It a catharsis for him. mehow Greer found Padilla - a link to my past d theoretically it would have worked well. Greer I was doing the eyewitness case; he could have one of his lackeys contact Padilla and tell him what to say on the phone to lure me to that lot. I don't know what he offered Padilla. Is investigator couldn't find evidence that ey was exchanged, but money can take different . Or it could have been promise of protection something or someone. For all I knew, Padilla s told that I was after him because of what he'd e to my father and that he'd better kill me before d him., e sound of his voice faded beneath the scratch of er. Sabrina found the subject matter nearly as lve. ,-";,The most incredible part of all this/

she com-' that Greer wasn't caught. How could he he'd get away with it? Even if he offered Padilla ething he wanted, how could he know that Padilla dn't go to the police and turn State's evidence? he actually trust Padilla not to breathe a word of t he'd done to anyonev ..V'l doubt it. He probably planned on a double murder d that's where Padilla's connection with my father so neat. A double murder. Clean. No witnesses. 319 The police would assume that to avenge my father's death I'd gone after Padilla, who had then managed to shoot me before he died.' Sabrina's shudder had nothing to do with the chill outside. '

if someone had gone with you that nightv Derek's hand stilled, long fingers curling tightly around the wood. ' don't know. I've asked myself that question dozens and dozens of times, and I don't know the answer. Most likely, if I'm right in what I've assumed, held have had both of us killed.' He resumed sanding with a fury. ' made a calculated guess that I'd go alone, though. That was more my style." Sabrina tucked her feet beneath her for warmth. ' you're right in what you've assumed, Greer must have had his 01%-M man there in the parking lot that night to make sure the job was done. Wouldn't it have been a lot easier for that man just to kill you himself, without involving Padilla?' ' then there'd have been no explanation for my death, and Greer wouldn't have wanted that. He likes things neatly tied up. He wouldn't have risked some detective, s looking a little too deeply into the case. And since Padilla was a perfect pawn ...' ' things went wrong. You killed Padilla. Why didn't Greer's man just come forward and kill you? I '/ Derek said with a quick release of breath, '

cops came. The goddamned cops came while I was still standing there in shock holding the gun. At first I thought that was part of the plan. I thought that they'd been given a tip. I mean, their timing was like something out of a script. And I was furious. It wasn't that I'd have left Padilla's body and run. Fd1ve called the 320 h s . myself. But they denied me that show of integrity-1 Sabrina ran her hand along the curved lip of the -table, now down to its last layer of aged varnish.

"And Greer's man? What did he do then?' ''m assuming he hightailed it out of therd, got to a phone booth a safe distance away and called Greer, who began pulling strings to make sure that I was locked away and that no one looked too hard for the keys.' ' what about the kids in the parking lot? Wouldn't the police have seen that they were there - or that they weren'tv Derek stared at the sandpaper for a second, then tossed it aside. ''re talking local cops here. You have to remember that. We're not talking big-city cops or FBI or private investigators. We're talking guys who don't have a hell of a lot of experience dealing with murder. I don't doubt that for some of them it was the first dead body they'd seen.' He gnawed on the inside of his mouth. He drew one knee up, set his forearm on it, let his hand dangle. only it didn't dangle loosely. Tension prevented that. ' they didn't look around@ a Page 116

Barbara Delinsky - Commitments

hell of a lot/ he went on. ' had a body. They had a guy with a gun a guy who admitted to the shooting. What more did they need? When David questioned them on the stand about whether they'd seen that third car, they said they hadn't looked. Maybe someone got to them, too, but I doubt it. Greer was concentrating on the guys higher up, the ones who would see I went to prison.' Sabrina touched the scar by his eye. '

Greer responsible for this?' '.' 321 Her fingers moved to his neck. ' this?' ' likely.' --Men he was hoping you wouldn't leave prison alive., Closing his fingers around hers, Derek brought them to the warm spot at his throat where his pulse throbbed. ' I fooled1m, didn't IV With a groan, Sabrina leaned closer. She pressed her face to his neck and breathed deeply of the honest male scent that was his and his alone. She slid an arm around Ins body and, when he kissed her, she told him how glad she was that he'd been so clever. She slid a second arm around him when he eased her back to the floor; and, arching to his, her body repeated the message. Sabrina was forever amazed by the passion Derek roused in her. She'd lost track of the number of times they'd made love - not that the number counted, but the hunger behind it was very new to her. Needing to be with him, near him, touching him was an awakening. And she wasn't alone in her need. Derek felt it, too. He told her that he was a plant and she his sun, and that without her held die, and they laughed at the imagery; but when they were in each other's arms that laughter was soft and gentle, maybe a little busky-As it was this day. They kissed slowly, languorously. They touched each other in those special places they'd learned were the most sensitive. As they rolled over on the floor, taking turns bearing each other's weight, Derek suggested that they had a thing for barns. They both chuckled about that, then kissed with their tongues; and when she'd taken her own back into her mouth, Sabrina said that it had something to do-with 322

behavior, over which, prospect they chuckled The more he thought about it, between feels and kisses, Derek decided that animal behavior had its pluses. By the time held shared the insight with Sabrina, he was removing her pants, and by the time he'd opened his own, she was waiting to take him in. The next morning, they sat in the kitchen with their legs entwined on the meeting-house bench that Sabrina had bought for the front porch but that had been reappropriated until the captain's table and chairs were refinished. Sabrina was wearing her long terry robe, Derek a pair of sweatpants that matched the light gray of his eyes. The dishes that had earlier held eggs and toast now lay stacked on the floor nearby. Chin on her palm, Sabrina was deep in thought. The thought she entertained wasn't a new one. It had come to her more than once since the afternoon before, and she'd tried'to avoid it. But it had followed her like a mosquito, buzzing, annoying. She needed to share the worry with Derek. ' that mean he'll be after you now?' Derek looked up from the morning paper. '?' '. Will he be after yow now that you're out of prison?' ' hope not.'He returned to the paper. ''s tried to kill you three times. Why should he suddenly give up?' '