Complete Poems and Plays (83 page)

E
GGERSON.
Of the day we got the news. We don’t often speak of it;

Yet I know what’s on her mind, for days beforehand.

But here I am, talking about ourselves!

And we’ve more important business, I imagine.

S
IR
C
LAUDE.
Eggerson, I’m expecting Mrs. Guzzard.

E
GGERSON.
Indeed! Mrs. Guzzard! And why are we expecting her?

S
IR
C
LAUDE.
I have asked her to come. Lady Elizabeth

Is sure that she knows the name of Mrs. Guzzard.

L
ADY
E
LIZABETH.
Mrs. Guzzard, of Teddington.

E
GGERSON.
                                                             Ah, indeed!

I shouldn’t have expected her name to be known to you.

S
IR
C
LAUDE.
She’d been questioning Colby about himself,

And he mentioned the name of his aunt, Mrs. Guzzard.

Now she’s convinced that Mrs. Guzzard

Of Teddington is the name of the person

To whom her own child was entrusted.

E
GGERSON.
What an amazing coincidence!

S
IR
C
LAUDE.
                                                   That’s what it is,

Unless she is mistaken …

L
ADY
E
LIZABETH.
                    Now,Claude!

S
IR
C
LAUDE.
And she came to the conclusion that her child must be Colby,

So I told her the truth. But she cannot believe it.

L
ADY
E
LIZABETH.
Claude, that’s not quite right. Let me explain.

I am convinced that Sir Claude is mistaken,

Or has been deceived, and that Colby is my son.

I feel sure he is. But I don’t want to know:

I am perfectly content to leave things as they are,

So that we may regard him as
our
son.

S
IR
C
LAUDE.
That is perfectly correct. It is Colby

Who is not satisfied with that solution.

He insists upon the facts. And that is why

I have asked Mrs. Guzzard here.
She
doesn’t know that.

E
GGERSON.
A natural line for Mr. Simpkins to take,

If I may say so. Of course, we might discover

Another Mrs. Guzzard …

L
ADY
E
LIZABETH.
               
Two
Mrs. Guzzards?

E
GGERSON.
I agree, it is a most uncommon name,

But stranger things have happened.

L
ADY
E
LIZABETH.
                                 And both in Teddington?

E
GGERSON.
I agree, that would be most surprising.

And at the same address?

L
ADY
E
LIZABETH.
                   I don’t know the address.

Mrs. Guzzard of Teddington, that’s all I know,

And that I could swear to.

E
GGERSON.
                             It does seem unlikely

That there should be two Mrs. Guzzards in Teddington.

But assuming, for the moment, only one Mrs. Guzzard,

Could there not have been two babies?

L
ADY
E
LIZABETH.
Two
babies, Eggerson?

E
GGERSON.
                                                 I was only suggesting

That perhaps Mrs. Guzzard made a profession

Of … looking after other people’s children?

In a manner of speaking, it’s perfectly respectable.

S
IR
C
LAUDE.
You’re suggesting that she ran a baby farm.

That’s most unlikely, nowadays.

Besides, I should have noticed it. I visited her house

Often. I never saw more than one baby.

E
GGERSON.
She might have taken in another one

As a temporary accommodation —

On suitable terms. But if she did that,

We must enquire what became of the other one.

S
IR
C
LAUDE.
But
this
baby was Colby.

L
ADY
E
LIZABETH.
                                   Of course it was Colby.

S
IR
C
LAUDE.
But Eggerson, you really can’t ask me to believe

That she took two babies, and got them mixed.

L
ADY
E
LIZABETH.
That seems to be what happened. And now we must find out

What became of your child, Claude.

S
IR
C
LAUDE.
                                             What became of
my
child!

The mother of
my
child was Mrs. Guzzard’s sister.

She wouldn’t dispose of
him.
It’s your child, Elizabeth,

Whom we must try to trace.

E
GGERSON.
                                 If there was another child

Then we must try to trace it. Certainly, Sir Claude:

Our first step must be to question Mrs. Guzzard.

S
IR
C
LAUDE.
And that’s what we are here for. She will be here shortly.

And when she arrives I will summon Colby.

I wanted you here first, to explain the situation:

And I thought I would like you to conduct the proceedings.

Will you sit at the desk?

E
GGERSON.
                           If you wish, Sir Claude.

I do feel more at ease when I’m behind a desk:

It’s second nature.

S
IR
C
LAUDE.
               And put the case to her.

Don’t let her think that
I
have any doubts:

You are putting the questions on behalf of my wife.

E
GGERSON.
I understand, Sir Claude: I understand completely.

[
A
knock
on
the
door
]

S
IR
C
LAUDE.
Good Lord, she’s here already! Well … Come in!

[
Enter
L
UCASTA
]

L
UCASTA.
Is this a meeting? I came to speak to Colby.

I’m sorry.

S
IR
C
LAUDE.
Colby will be here.

But you’re not involved in this meeting, Lucasta.

Won’t it do another time?

L
UCASTA.
                               I came to apologise

To Colby. No matter. It’ll do another time.

Oh, I’m glad you’re here, Eggy! You’re such a support.

In any case, I’ve an announcement to make,

And I might as well make it now. If you’ll listen.

S
IR
C
LAUDE.
Of course I’ll listen. But we haven’t much time.

L
UCASTA.
It won’t take much time. I’m going to marry B.

S
IR
C
LAUDE.
To marry B.! But I thought that was all settled.

L
UCASTA.
Yes, of course, Claude. You thought everything settled.

That was just the trouble. You made it so obvious

That this would be the ideal solution

From your point of view. To get me off your hands.

Oh, I know what a nuisance you’ve always found me!

And I haven’t made it easier. I didn’t try to.

And knowing that you wanted me to marry B.

Made me determined that I wouldn’t. Just to spite you,

I dare say. That was why I took an interest

In Colby. Because you thought he was too good for me.

S
IR
C
LAUDE.
In Colby!

L
UCASTA.
                       Why not? That’s perfectly natural.

But I’m grateful to Colby. But for Colby

I’d never have come to appreciate B.

S
IR
C
LAUDE.
But Colby! Lucasta, if I’d suspected this

I would have explained. Colby is your brother.

E
GGERSON.
Half-brother, Miss Angel.

S
IR
C
LAUDE.
                                            Yes, half-brother.

L
UCASTA.
What do you mean?

S
IR
C
LAUDE.
                               Colby is my son.

L
ADY
E
LIZABETH.
That is what Sir Claude believes. Claude, let me explain.

S
IR
C
LAUDE.
No, I’ll explain. There’s been some misunderstanding.

My wife believes that Colby is
her
son.

That is the reason for this meeting today.

We’re awaiting Mrs. Guzzard — Colby’s aunt.

L
UCASTA.
Colby’s aunt? You make my brain reel.

S
IR
C
LAUDE.
I ought to have made things clear to you

At the time when he came here. But I didn’t trust you

To keep a secret. There were reasons for that

Which no longer exist. But I ought to have told you.

L
UCASTA.
Well, I don’t understand. What I do understand

Is Colby’s behaviour. If he knew it.

S
IR
C
LAUDE.
                                          He knew it.

L
UCASTA.
Why didn’t he tell me? Perhaps he was about to.