Complete Works of Emile Zola (606 page)

“What? Good friends?” he murmured in sudden anxiety.

“Yes; it’s idiotic, perhaps, but I should like you to think well of me. We’ve had our little explanation out, and if we meet again we shan’t, at any rate look like a pair of boobies.”

He tried to interrupt her with a movement of the hand.

“Let me finish! There’s not a man, you understand, able to accuse me of doing him a blackguardly turn; well, and it struck me as horrid to begin in your case. We all have our sense of honor, dear boy.”

“But that’s not my meaning!” he shouted violently. “Sit down — listen to me!” And as though he were afraid of seeing her take her departure, he pushed her down on the solitary chair in the room. Then he paced about in growing agitation. The little dressing room was airless and full of sunlight, and no sound from the outside world disturbed its pleasant, peaceful, dampish atmosphere. In the pauses of conversation the shrillings of the canary were alone audible and suggested the distant piping of a flute.

“Listen,” he said, planting himself in front of her, “I’ve come to possess myself of you again. Yes, I want to begin again. You know that well; then why do you talk to me as you do? Answer me; tell me you consent.”

Her head was bent, and she was scratching the blood-red straw of the seat underneath her. Seeing him so anxious, she did not hurry to answer. But at last she lifted up her face. It had assumed a grave expression, and into the beautiful eyes she had succeeded in infusing a look of sadness.

“Oh, it’s impossible, little man. Never, never, will I live with you again.”

“Why?” he stuttered, and his face seemed contracted in unspeakable suffering.

“Why? Hang it all, because — It’s impossible; that’s about it. I don’t want to.”

He looked ardently at her for some seconds longer. Then his legs curved under him and he fell on the floor. In a bored voice she added this simple advice:

“Ah, don’t be a baby!”

But he was one already. Dropping at her feet, he had put his arms round her waist and was hugging her closely, pressing his face hard against her knees. When he felt her thus — when he once more divined the presence of her velvety limbs beneath the thin fabric of her dress — he was suddenly convulsed and trembled, as it were, with fever, while madly, savagely, he pressed his face against her knees as though he had been anxious to force through her flesh. The old chair creaked, and beneath the low ceiling, where the air was pungent with stale perfumes, smothered sobs of desire were audible.

“Well, and after?” Nana began saying, letting him do as he would. “All this doesn’t help you a bit, seeing that the thing’s impossible. Good God, what a child you are!”

His energy subsided, but he still stayed on the floor, nor did he relax his hold of her as he said in a broken voice:

“Do at least listen to what I came to offer you. I’ve already seen a town house close to the Parc Monceau — I would gladly realize your smallest wish. In order to have you all to myself, I would give my whole fortune. Yes, that would be my only condition, that I should have you all to myself! Do you understand? And if you were to consent to be mine only, oh, then I should want you to be the loveliest, the richest, woman on earth. I should give you carriages and diamonds and dresses!”

At each successive offer Nana shook her head proudly. Then seeing that he still continued them, that he even spoke of settling money on her — for he was at loss what to lay at her feet — she apparently lost patience.

“Come, come, have you done bargaining with me? I’m a good sort, and I don’t mind giving in to you for a minute or two, as your feelings are making you so ill, but I’ve had enough of it now, haven’t I? So let me get up. You’re tiring me.”

She extricated herself from his clasp, and once on her feet:

“No, no, no!” she said. “I don’t want to!”

With that he gathered himself up painfully and feebly dropped into a chair, in which he leaned back with his face in his hands. Nana began pacing up and down in her turn. For a second or two she looked at the stained wallpaper, the greasy toilet table, the whole dirty little room as it basked in the pale sunlight. Then she paused in front of the count and spoke with quiet directness.

“It’s strange how rich men fancy they can have everything for their money. Well, and if I don’t want to consent — what then? I don’t care a pin for your presents! You might give me Paris, and yet I should say no! Always no! Look here, it’s scarcely clean in this room, yet I should think it very nice if I wanted to live in it with you. But one’s fit to kick the bucket in your palaces if one isn’t in love. Ah, as to money, my poor pet, I can lay my hands on that if I want to, but I tell you, I trample on it; I spit on it!”

And with that she assumed a disgusted expression. Then she became sentimental and added in a melancholy tone:

“I know of something worth more than money. Oh, if only someone were to give me what I long for!”

He slowly lifted his head, and there was a gleam of hope in his eyes.

“Oh, you can’t give it me,” she continued; “it doesn’t depend on you, and that’s the reason I’m talking to you about it. Yes, we’re having a chat, so I may as well mention to you that I should like to play the part of the respectable woman in that show of theirs.”

“What respectable woman?” he muttered in astonishment.

“Why, their Duchess Helene! If they think I’m going to play Geraldine, a part with nothing in it, a scene and nothing besides — if they think that! Besides, that isn’t the reason. The fact is I’ve had enough of courtesans. Why, there’s no end to ‘em! They’ll be fancying I’ve got ‘em on the brain; to be sure they will! Besides, when all’s said and done, it’s annoying, for I can quite see they seem to think me uneducated. Well, my boy, they’re jolly well in the dark about it, I can tell you! When I want to be a perfect lady, why then I am a swell, and no mistake! Just look at this.”

And she withdrew as far as the window and then came swelling back with the mincing gait and circumspect air of a portly hen that fears to dirty her claws. As to Muffat, he followed her movements with eyes still wet with tears. He was stupefied by this sudden transition from anguish to comedy. She walked about for a moment or two in order the more thoroughly to show off her paces, and as she walked she smiled subtlely, closed her eyes demurely and managed her skirts with great dexterity. Then she posted herself in front of him again.

“I guess I’ve hit it, eh?”

“Oh, thoroughly,” he stammered with a broken voice and a troubled expression.

“I tell you I’ve got hold of the honest woman! I’ve tried at my own place. Nobody’s got my little knack of looking like a duchess who don’t care a damn for the men. Did you notice it when I passed in front of you? Why, the thing’s in my blood! Besides, I want to play the part of an honest woman. I dream about it day and night — I’m miserable about it. I must have the part, d’you hear?”

And with that she grew serious, speaking in a hard voice and looking deeply moved, for she was really tortured by her stupid, tiresome wish. Muffat, still smarting from her late refusals, sat on without appearing to grasp her meaning. There was a silence during which the very flies abstained from buzzing through the quiet, empty place.

“Now, look here,” she resumed bluntly, “you’re to get them to give me the part.”

He was dumfounded, and with a despairing gesture:

“Oh, it’s impossible! You yourself were saying just now that it didn’t depend on me.”

She interrupted him with a shrug of the shoulders.

“You’ll just go down, and you’ll tell Bordenave you want the part. Now don’t be such a silly! Bordenave wants money — well, you’ll lend him some, since you can afford to make ducks and drakes of it.”

And as he still struggled to refuse her, she grew angry.

“Very well, I understand; you’re afraid of making Rose angry. I didn’t mention the woman when you were crying down on the floor — I should have had too much to say about it all. Yes, to be sure, when one has sworn to love a woman forever one doesn’t usually take up with the first creature that comes by directly after. Oh, that’s where the shoe pinches, I remember! Well, dear boy, there’s nothing very savory in the Mignon’s leavings! Oughtn’t you to have broken it off with that dirty lot before coming and squirming on my knees?”

He protested vaguely and at last was able to get out a phrase.

“Oh, I don’t care a jot for Rose; I’ll give her up at once.”

Nana seemed satisfied on this point. She continued:

“Well then, what’s bothering you? Bordenave’s master here. You’ll tell me there’s Fauchery after Bordenave — “

She had sunk her voice, for she was coming to the delicate part of the matter. Muffat sat silent, his eyes fixed on the ground. He had remained voluntarily ignorant of Fauchery’s assiduous attentions to the countess, and time had lulled his suspicions and set him hoping that he had been deceiving himself during that fearful night passed in a doorway of the Rue Taitbout. But he still felt a dull, angry repugnance to the man.

“Well, what then? Fauchery isn’t the devil!” Nana repeated, feeling her way cautiously and trying to find out how matters stood between husband and lover. “One can get over his soft side. I promise you, he’s a good sort at bottom! So it’s a bargain, eh? You’ll tell him that it’s for my sake?”

The idea of taking such a step disgusted the count.

“No, no! Never!” he cried.

She paused, and this sentence was on the verge of utterance:

“Fauchery can refuse you nothing.”

But she felt that by way of argument it was rather too much of a good thing. So she only smiled a queer smile which spoke as plainly as words. Muffat had raised his eyes to her and now once more lowered them, looking pale and full of embarrassment.

“Ah, you’re not good natured,” she muttered at last.

“I cannot,” he said with a voice and a look of the utmost anguish. “I’ll do whatever you like, but not that, dear love! Oh, I beg you not to insist on that!”

Thereupon she wasted no more time in discussion but took his head between her small hands, pushed it back a little, bent down and glued her mouth to his in a long, long kiss. He shivered violently; he trembled beneath her touch; his eyes were closed, and he was beside himself. She lifted him to his feet.

“Go,” said she simply.

He walked off, making toward the door. But as he passed out she took him in her arms again, became meek and coaxing, lifted her face to his and rubbed her cheek against his waistcoat, much as a cat might have done.

“Where’s the fine house?” she whispered in laughing embarrassment, like a little girl who returns to the pleasant things she has previously refused.

“In the Avenue de Villiers.”

“And there are carriages there?”

“Yes.”

“Lace? Diamonds?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, how good you are, my old pet! You know it was all jealousy just now! And this time I solemnly promise you it won’t be like the first, for now you understand what’s due to a woman. You give all, don’t you? Well then, I don’t want anybody but you! Why, look here, there’s some more for you! There and there AND there!”

When she had pushed him from the room after firing his blood with a rain of kisses on hands and on face, she panted awhile. Good heavens, what an unpleasant smell there was in that slut Mathilde’s dressing room! It was warm, if you will, with the tranquil warmth peculiar to rooms in the south when the winter sun shines into them, but really, it smelled far too strong of stale lavender water, not to mention other less cleanly things! She opened the window and, again leaning on the window sill, began watching the glass roof of the passage below in order to kill time.

Muffat went staggering downstairs. His head was swimming. What should he say? How should he broach the matter which, moreover, did not concern him? He heard sounds of quarreling as he reached the stage. The second act was being finished, and Prulliere was beside himself with wrath, owing to an attempt on Fauchery’s part to cut short one of his speeches.

“Cut it all out then,” he was shouting. “I should prefer that! Just fancy, I haven’t two hundred lines, and they’re still cutting me down. No, by Jove, I’ve had enough of it; I give the part up.”

He took a little crumpled manuscript book out of his pocket and fingered its leaves feverishly, as though he were just about to throw it on Cossard’s lap. His pale face was convulsed by outraged vanity; his lips were drawn and thin, his eyes flamed; he was quite unable to conceal the struggle that was going on inside him. To think that he, Prulliere, the idol of the public, should play a part of only two hundred lines!

“Why not make me bring in letters on a tray?” he continued bitterly.

“Come, come, Prulliere, behave decently,” said Bordenave, who was anxious to treat him tenderly because of his influence over the boxes. “Don’t begin making a fuss. We’ll find some points. Eh, Fauchery, you’ll add some points? In the third act it would even be possible to lengthen a scene out.”

“Well then, I want the last speech of all,” the comedian declared. “I certainly deserve to have it.”

Fauchery’s silence seemed to give consent, and Prulliere, still greatly agitated and discontented despite everything, put his part back into his pocket. Bosc and Fontan had appeared profoundly indifferent during the course of this explanation. Let each man fight for his own hand, they reflected; the present dispute had nothing to do with them; they had no interest therein! All the actors clustered round Fauchery and began questioning him and fishing for praise, while Mignon listened to the last of Prulliere’s complaints without, however, losing sight of Count Muffat, whose return he had been on the watch for.

Entering in the half-light, the count had paused at the back of the stage, for he hesitated to interrupt the quarrel. But Bordenave caught sight of him and ran forward.

“Aren’t they a pretty lot?” he muttered. “You can have no idea what I’ve got to undergo with that lot, Monsieur le Comte. Each man’s vainer than his neighbor, and they’re wretched players all the same, a scabby lot, always mixed up in some dirty business or other! Oh, they’d be delighted if I were to come to smash. But I beg pardon — I’m getting beside myself.”