Confessions of a Backup Dancer (9 page)

Other:
she acts like it's my fault that I came late to the tour. sometimes she gives me this LOOK that makes me feel like apologizing for being BORN! it's the kind of look that makes you wish you could vanish into thin air like in a star trek movie or whatever. but then she usually says something like, “thanks for all your effort” or something totally vice principally like that. know what I mean? so you're never exactly quite sure what she means because she never seems to mean what she says. bizad vizibes. I don't know. I'm just gonna stay away from her as much as I can.

Name:
Eileen Wang

Age:
32, but thinks she's old. I heard her ordering some anti-aging products over the phone.

General Info:
darcy's tour manager. she seems constantly in the middle of a crisis. and she talks wicked wicked wicked superfast. she's from san Francisco and speaks in mandarin on the phone to her parents.

Sign:
Cancer. she has a crab tattoo on her ankle.

Hair:
spiky, pink tips. big square glasses.

Personal Style:
I think she's been wearing the same jeans since I met her.

Body Type:
boyish. in fact, she turns me on. ha ha ha just kidding.

Why We Care:
she DISCOVERED me!! ha ha. :-) and to be honest, I kind of like her. she seems like a regular person, like me.

Other:
she spends 99% of her time on the cell phone, usually whispering or panicking. She's always saying stuff like “SHE'S coming!” or “what will SHE think?” SHE, meaning darla, and she (Eileen) seems really scared of her (Darla).

Name:
Rashid

Age :
25

General Info:
he's the director of the show and he's choreographing the whole thing. he's really focused. and really smart. and he's the only person who ever says anything back to darla. yesterday he disagreed with her about a sequence and he even got his way. she gave him the LOOK and he rolled his eyes. it was too good.

Sign:
Sagittarius.

Hair:
braids. halfway down his back.

Personal Style:
ALWAYS in sunglasses. ALWAYS. (does that mean he's stoned all the time too?)

Body Type:
tall, lean, looks incredibly strong, must be a classic ballet dancer or something. posture that almost looks like he's kidding. gorgeous dark skin.

Why We Care:
I need all the help I can get. and I gotta say, he's pretty hot. in fact, he's maybe the best eye candy around.

Other:
he actually said something nice to me. Unlike anyone else on the tour. He thinks i'm good. he said I've got “it.” we were talking about dancing and I told him about what it's like when I dance and I go THERE and he knew exactly what I was talking about. Although now I have to wonder whether or not he's just saying that cause I'm paying him. sigh. whoever said backup dancers live large obviously never got a backup dancer paycheck. I guess it's a good thing I've already had about 350 years of dance training … I speak that language, so I'm a quick study. that should cut down on my Rashid bill.

Names:
D-Run, Armand, Bart, Li'l D, Jesus, Angeline, the two Tinas, and Waverly.

Ages:
20-30 or so or something

General Info:
they're the other backup dancers. they're pretty tight. they're not going out of their way to hang with me or whatever, but they're being pretty patient with me while I play catch-up. I can tell they're watching me tho. trying to figure me out. not that there's anything to figure. I think they're weirded out by the fact that i'm 17. Armand and Jesus are crazy gossips. I think all the guys are gay except for Li'l D, who I think has something going on with one of the Tinas. She sat in his lap all through lunch today, and let's just say that after she got off and Li'l D stood up and readjusted his sweatpants, it was pretty clear that there's nothing Li'l about Li'l D.

Signs:
i'11 keep you posted.

Hair:
around 30-35% real.

Personal Styles:
from fringe to frayed jeans to sweats to whatever. Everyone's attached to their iPods. they all have tour jackets like “Nelly 2000” and “Christina: Stripped” and stuff. No one has a Pashmina jacket. I bet Darla banned them.

Body Types:
tight, and obsessed with it. these people are constantly stretching, posing, workin' it. I overheard Angeline and Waverly talking about their pilates class and how much it strengthened their core and how much it helped their posture and all that. I should try it cause my posture sucks.

Why We Care:
duh they're my backup dancers. ha ha ha!! just kidding. I need to kiss their asses big time. If they don't like me, they could drop me onstage. talk about massive humiliation. Others: it's a tough clique to break into. but i'm just tryin' to stay cool. they're really good to, uh, eavesdrop on. yesterday they were talking about how Christina Aguilera supposedly has like over 10 piercings. I was like WOW. picture THAT. I mean, WHERE do you put 10 piercings? yikes.

Name:
Jesse Nixon

Age:
19

General Info:
finally, a superhot VJ. they really got it right this time … he's totally cute and totally knows about music. or at least, he's totally good at reading cue cards. anyway I have the kind of crush on him that makes me
feel all giddy like a 9-year-old. Swoon.

Sign:
isn't he a leo?

Hair:
getting pouffier by the moment. this is a clear and present problem

Personal Style:
you know as well as I do

Body Type:
little did I know what secrets he held until last year's Spring Fever where he was broadcasting from a swimming pool and he lifted his shirt up. can you spell abs?

Why We Care:
I haven't laid eyes on him in person yet but everyone around here talks about him all the time. Especially Darla. I don't know if he's even in LA but it's like every time I turn around people are talking about him like he just left the room. and darcy is constantly talking about him—like what he was wearing on tv or what he said in some online chat or asking if he's called. Maybe they're dating, and maybe they're just friends. I really can't tell. Like I said, I haven't even seen him in the flesh yet. Sigh, flesh.

Other:
now that I think about it, there's no way they can be dating. she's a virgin, and he's too hot to wait around for her. that is, if she's really a virgin.

FRIDAY JUNE 7

D-ZONE, JUST WAKING UP

Mood:
confused. when I woke up this morning I thought I was in my bed at home.

Outfit:
piggly wiggly pjs

Fortune:
Believe the hype.

To:
kaykay4real

From:
Tito_T

Date:
Friday June 7

Time:
8:14
AM

Subject :
Re : The It's Darcy ! ! players Thanks for the rundown. Sounds like quite a crew. No one you can't deal with. No, we don't know any virgins. Including Darcy Barnes. I don't care if she has a trillion Beanie Babies. And another clue to catch: She's definitely dating Jesse Nixon. I can tell! Just today there was a gossip item online about how they were together at a Dodgers game and his hand was on her knee the whole time. Is it true?

Stay away from Rashid. Sounds like someone's got a crush. I can tell that one's gonna be trouble.

PS-Have you seen Darcy's website? Google her and see for yourself.

Tito

I knew about Darcy's site. It's this pink and baby blue website where Darla keeps a diary about Darcy. crazy, huh? what she does, where she goes, supposedly like some kind of “behind the scenes” about what really happens backstage. god if I'm ever famous I hope my mother doesn't act like an idiot.

May 30, 2003

Darcy's such a neat freak! She always has been. I think she gets it from me! I know I never have to worry about her keeping her room clean and her clothes ironed. And speaking of her clothes, people say she dresses sexy, but I think she just looks beautiful. My baby just takes my breath away! !

I was like yeah right. She has a staff who does her ironing. Then I read this one.

June 1, 2003

Darcy just informed me today that she has a HUGE crush on one of her backup dancers. I can't tell you which one because I don't want it to get out, but … she's been hinting that she wants to ask him out! I said he's just too old for her, but if I know Darcy, she'll find a way to sneak in a date behind my back! That girl! I just hope the press doesn't get ahold of this info! ;-)

The important thing is that I know I can trust her to make truly adult decisions no matter what. She'll never go too far with a boy, and she'll never let a boy get in the way of her career. Besides if she messes up she knows she'll have to deal with her mama! !

What? Darcy's hot for a dancer? I wonder if it's rashid she's after? oh, great. damn! no way! there goes my master plan to ensnare his heart and begin a lifetime together making music and children. and swimming laps in our pool. ok wait, maybe tito's right. maybe she IS dating jesse and this is just a big hoax. maybe darla's just saying this.

Ugh. does this mean I have to cancel my crush?

FRIDAY JUNE 7

D-ZONE, 11
PM

Outfit:
Rashid lent me his Etnies hoodie. it's HUGE.

Hair:
sweaty.

Mood:
Alone at last. I finally feel like an official member of this tour. I think it feels pretty good but I'm not 100% sure.

“So, how does it feel to be my new best friend?”

Darcy Barnes said that to me last night. I know, weird, huh? ok lemme back up.

I have spent the last 24 hours straight with darcy barnes. nonstop. she needs Ritalin.

I saw a different side of her. or more like a few different sides of her. I mean, she doesn't really seem like what you think darcy barnes would be like. not like her pictures and videos and interviews and stuff. I mean, I knew she wasn't going to be exactly like that or anything, but … I don't know … I guess I just expected someone cooler. someone edgier. someone a little bit hipper than me. don't get me wrong, she's nice and everything, but there's something weird about her … it's like she just hasn't really gotten that far around the block. she goes from acting like a grownup to acting like a little kid without any kind of notice. like one minute she's arguing with Eileen about who her “demographic” is like a total Man in Black, and the next
minute she's on the phone to darla, all “mom can you come to brush my hair the way I like it?” like she's 7. it's weird. but I'll admit she's kind of charming. so far.

but I guess she doesn't really have any friends her own age or anything so I guess it's normal to be weird. (how funny: “Normal to be Weird” … that should be the name of her biographical tv movie of the week.) anyway, she has no friends, so maybe that's why she's been totally glommed onto me for the last day and night. or maybe it's just because jesse (her “friend”/boyfriend, still not sure) isn't around. or maybe she does this to everyone she meets. well whatever. even if I'm suspicious about it I've been having a good time hanging out with her. we actually get along!

ok wait I said I was gonna back up didn't I. ok. yeah. after basically hardly seeing her since getting here (except from behind, in rehearsals), darcy dove headfirst into my personal space last night and only now just left.