CONNOR (SEAL Team Seven) Book 1 (10 page)

“You don’t have to do
anything because nothing happened.” Her body was trembling in my hands and I
found myself in the precarious position of wanting to reassure her and tan her
ass at the same time. I looked at her and some of her fear finally penetrated.
I’d never wanted to see that look on her face. Never wanted to be the one to
put it on any woman’s face. And especially not the one I was supposed to love
above all others.

“This is fucked. Do you know how close I came to
hitting you? I refuse to let you destroy me. I’ve spent my whole life trying
not to be this person and in one day look at what the fuck you brought me to.
Was it worth it to see him huh?”

She didn’t answer me just hung her head and
cried. “Connor I’m sorry I didn’t think…please.”

“Look I’m the fuck out of here, I think I need
to get the fuck away from you right now.”

“No Connor, please I’m sorry it won’t happen
again I’m sorry.” She grabbed onto me as I turned to head back down the stairs.
My brothers were right I needed to calm the fuck down before I did something
I’d regret. With this much anger and heat I’d only end up doing more damage than
good anyway. I felt empty as fuck. Disappointed, disillusioned, all the things
I’ve been trying to avoid my whole fucking life when it came to this
relationship bullshit.

“Get off of me, I don’t
know what to believe right now. You told me you understood you fucking lied;
you do not want to fuck with me on this shit.” My head was too hot; I knew that
was a dangerous thing for her. Knew that in the next few minutes I could start
down a road that might taint our relationship forever. I was so fucking pissed
right then though that it almost didn’t matter. This is the reason I’d made her
swear that she understood. The memory of that asshole’s hands on her kept
playing over and over in my head.

She cried harder and
held onto me instead of trying to get away like she had been. I looked down at
her, her tearstained face was now even more afraid than before. Her eyes wide
with fear, not of my belt but of me walking away. I couldn’t say anything to
her for the longest time, couldn’t do anything but just look at her. I was
trying to come to terms with what I’d almost done; the weight of the belt in my
hand was almost sickening. Looking into her eyes seeing the agony there was
like a bucket of cold water in my face. I grabbed her neck and pulled her
forward into my chest.

“Stop crying I’m not gonna hurt you I will never
hurt you okay.”

“But you’re gonna leave me.” She cried harder
and grabbed onto me with both hands as though she could keep me there by sheer
will alone.

I hugged her closer and
took a deep breath. I didn’t know what the fuck I wanted to do; this was new
territory for me. I’ve never felt the urge to fight over a woman, never wanted
to slap the shit out of one either. For all I know it could’ve been as innocent
as she said but the fact still remained that she’d gone behind my back and did
the one thing I’d asked her not to. That shit stuck in my craw, if I couldn’t
trust her then there was nothing. The thought fucking gutted me.

“Look at me.” She turned
her face up to me, and I studied her. I had to get her to understand so that
this would never happen again. I never wanted to reach this point ever again in
my life. I have no problem spanking her ass this is not about that. But I would
be damned if I’m going to raise my hand to her when I was this angry. I knew
that I could really hurt her if I did that shit. So how do I get past this? How
do I work this so we never end up here again?

“You fucked up royally
baby, this is not something I take lightly. I told you I didn’t want you
anywhere near him again. I laid my cards on the table there was no room for
misunderstanding. You fucking disrespected me so you know what. Before I do
something that I’ll regret I think it best that I stay the fuck away from you
for the next little while.”

“Where are you going?” She tried running after
me as I turned to walk away.

“I
have to get back to the job site.”

“Can’t you stay and talk to me?”

“No Danielle, I have
nothing more to say. Why don’t you figure out what you want? I’m done, what you
almost caused me to do is not something I can just shove under the rug. You
have to decide if you can live with what I want from you, if you can’t then
I’ll help you move your shit when I get back.”

I felt sick when I got
back in my truck and headed back to work. I wanted to go hunt that fucker down
and put my hand through his face after all, but this wasn’t about him. She’s
the one who fucked up, he has no loyalty to me she’s supposed to. Besides if I
put my hands on that fucker he’d end up dead.

I wasn’t too worried
about that crack he’d made about her father. I wasn’t marrying him if he
couldn’t accept me then fuck him too. Maybe it was a good thing that this had
happened now, when we were still fresh, still new. I guess I should feel some relief
that I’d been able to pull back and not go through with it. But all I felt was
drained.

I had a lot of shit to
think about in the next few hours before I went back to her. I wasn’t ready to
try to understand her reasoning, as fat as I’m concerned she had none. Fuck. If
we get past this I’m going to drive this shit home once and for all because I’m
never going there again.

My brothers eyed me the
rest of the day like a ticking time bomb about to detonate. I ignored them too
and took out my frustration on hammer and nails. Each time I tried to make
sense of the situation I came up empty. I was trying like hell to get a handle
on my anger but I kept coming back to one thing. She’d disobeyed. It wasn’t
like there was room for misinterpretation. I don’t want you anywhere near him
again
is
as plain as it gets as far as I’m concerned.

I guess I wasn’t doing a
very good job of containing my anger because the others kept their distance
though I could sense their eyes on me every once in a while. I ignored them and
did my thing. I had to put it away for now to clear my head. I wasn’t getting
anywhere going round and round in my head. I was still pissed, nothing had
changed there.

Of course Logan was the one to approach me a
little while later.

“So
how did it go brother?”

“We’re
good.”

“Don’t
feed me that bullshit bro, talk.”

“She fucked up big time Lo. I don’t even know
what to do with this shit. I told her to stay the fuck away from this guy and
what does she do?”

“I’m sure she didn’t mean anything by it. You
can’t make me believe that she has any interest in this guy. We’ve all seen her
with you Connor, she lights the fuck up when you’re around. And when you’re not
looking she fucking eats you alive with her eyes bro.”

 
By now
the others had joined us and of course I had to hear their input as well.
Everyone had pretty much the same take.
Dani
would
never cheat on me. That wasn’t necessarily my problem the problem was she
disobeyed.

“Guys you know what this is about, I can’t have
her being disobedient. What if some shit happens and she doesn’t listen and
gets hurt?”

“You’re
thinking like a SEAL bro…”

“I
am a fucking SEAL Zak.”

“You know what I mean. This is civilian life
they don’t think the way we do she doesn’t see it as being disobedient she’s
just you know…”

“Did she tell you why
she was with him?” Ty was usually the more silent of the group except when it
comes to food. He especially steered away from talks about relationships.
That’s why it was so surprising that he’d been the one hounding me about going
after Danielle. So I know out of everyone he would stand for her.

“Yeah, something about explaining things to him.
Someone told him about us and I guess she never told him why she broke up with
him months ago and he wanted to know.”

“That seems reasonable to me, and they were in a
public place bro, it’s not like she met him at a hotel or some shit.”

“I know that Quinn but you’re all missing the
point, I told her not to do it. If I tell my woman not to do something I expect
her to follow orders.”

“Bro
do you hear yourself? This is not the battlefield.”

“You think so Cord? It’s the toughest one yet
bro. Wait until it’s your turn and we’ll see how the rest of you handle your
shit.”

I went back to work,
done with the conversation. I didn’t expect anyone to understand why I felt the
way I did. As close as we all were there were some things that I’d never shared
with my brothers, just as I’m sure there were some things they kept close to
the vest as well.

I’d grown up hard and
rough in one of the toughest inner cities of the nation. Gang bangers and turf
wars were an everyday thing. Going to school was like walking through a
minefield most days but that was outside. It’s what went on inside behind
closed doors that scarred me for life. A disinterested mother and an alcoholic
abusive stepfather who thought it was fun to use me as an ashtray on a good day
and a football on the others.

By the time I was
thirteen I’d suffered more broken bones and black eyes than a professional
prizefighter but still no one stepped in. No one seemed to notice the scrawny
little kid who was just drifting away right before their very eyes. Worse than
the beatings and the abuse though was the way those two treated each other.
Although they were my worst nightmare they were all I had and the screaming and
fighting between those two made me sick with fear.

If anything happened
what would happen to me? Where would I end up? I used to count down the years
until it was time to get out. I’d set my sights on the service as my fastest
way out; that had been my goal. But in the meantime I had to endure them; it
was from them I learned my first distrust of the human race. I saw the
infidelity and the beatings, the name-calling and the degradation.

I promised myself then
that I would never hit a woman.
That I would never find
myself in a relationship with such contention.
In my head I’d decided
that the woman I met and fell in love with some day would be perfect, we’d
never fight, never argue. As a grown man I knew that was just a pipe dream but
I still didn’t want any of that shit in my life. What Danielle did today took
me back to a dark place that I thought I’d escaped from, a place I never wanted
to revisit again in this lifetime.

By the time I reached
the house that evening I still wasn’t any closer to knowing what the fuck I
wanted to do about the situation. She was in the kitchen when I walked in but I
just walked right by her and up the stairs to the shower. I had my head buried
under the water’s spray when I felt arms wrap around me from behind.

I didn’t turn, not even
when she laid her head on my back. I’d spent the last half hour questioning
whether or not I could live without this. Whether I could go the rest of my
life without her in it. That’s how scared this shit had made me. I would rather
spend the rest of my life alone than to relive my past. But I knew I could
never live without her now. I’d had her; her sweetness had seeped into me and
wrapped me up tight. I’d fucking die without her.

I pulled her around in
front of me pushing her hair back so I could see her face. Her red puffy eyes
told me she’d spent the afternoon crying. I pulled her to me and kissed her
hard holding her as close as I could before pushing her away again. We studied
each other for the longest time without saying a word.

“You do this shit to me
again I’ll fucking kill you Danielle and be done with it. Do you understand
me?” I shook her for emphasis as her eyes filled up with tears. Dragging her
against me I took her mouth hard lifting her so she straddled my hips. “Put me
inside you.” Her hand reached between us and fed my cock into her pussy.

“Now fuck me like you’re
sorry.” She slid up and down the length of my cock. It was then I realized how
long my cock really was as she lifted herself on and off of it. When it bent
for the third time I took her down to the bottom of the shower and fucked into
her hard.

“This is your
punishment.” I pounded into her as the water washed over us. I fucked her hard
and deep working off all the fucking anger that was still burning inside. When
I couldn’t get the friction I needed because of the hard surface beneath her I
pulled her up and with her pussy still locked around my dick headed out of the
shower. I barely ran a towel over us before throwing it to the floor and
heading for the bed.

I didn’t talk to her.
There were no soft words and touches. I knew damn well I was using my dick to
punish her ass and she knew that shit too. I held her eyes with mine as I
plunged into her over and over again. Lifting her legs all the way up and out,
I held her ankles open wide and watched as my cock sliced into her pink swollen
pussy.

“Play with your clit.”
Her fingers came down to touch her clit as I fucked her deep. Bending over
double I took her nipple into my mouth and sucked hard before biting into it
hard enough to make her scream. She came all over my cock and went wild. Fuck
yeah baby. I pounded even harder trying to erase the anger, trying to exorcise
it inside her.

“Connor…” She tried to ease off my dick by
sliding up the bed but I followed. “Stay.” I pulled her back onto my cock hard
as fuck. Dropping her legs I stopped moving inside her and wrapped my hand
around her throat. “Look at me. Who do you belong to?”

“You Connor, please…” She started crying again
but fuck that, she fucked up she wasn’t getting off that fucking easy.

“That’s right, this is mine.” I thrust into her
hard once. “You are mine, all of you. Turn over.” I pulled my cock out and
waited. She got up on her hands and knees and I slipped my dick back into her.
Grabbing a fistful of her hair I fucked into her trying to release the anger
and the pain.

I wasn’t careful with
her this time like I usually am. Instead I fucked her the way I’ve always
wanted to. I bit into the skin between her neck and shoulder as I held her hair
tight and pounded into her, going deep. She begged me not to hurt her pussy
anymore but I didn’t stop. I wanted her to feel pain, the same way she’d made
me fucking bleed.

“Next time I won’t hold
back. Next time I will whip your ass black and blue. Give me your fucking
tongue.” She turned her head and fed me her tongue as I lifted her almost
straight with her back to y chest. My cock pounded up into her hard and fast
until I came hard and long with an animalistic growl.

She dropped onto the bed
holding her hurt pussy. “That little stunt you pulled just cost you your
fucking freedom.” I went back to the bathroom to finish cleaning up. My head
was still hot but not as fucked up as it was earlier. I now find myself in the
position of having to deal with her in a way I never would’ve expected.

She’s my little southern
belle, she’s soft and sweet and should be treated like the princess she is. But
now there’s going to be another element added. All the shit I’d held off from
doing to and with her because I thought she was too soft was now on the fucking
table. She’d unleashed the bastard in me, now she could deal with that shit.