Convicted (17 page)

“Is this patient new?” Meredith knew the answer; nonetheless, she was fishing.

“No, this is Ms. Nichols, the patient you read about with the specific rules regarding discussion. She’s been here for over two years.”

“Her room isn’t as personalized as the other ones we’ve been in.”

Ms. Bali dismissed Meredith’s observation. “That’s none of our concern. It’s Mrs. Vandersol’s doing, and I do believe it goes along with the conversation rules.”

I wanted to ask more, but was afraid I’d raise suspicion. As we walked toward the kitchen, Claire passed us with a tall, pretty blonde woman. She looked our direction momentarily, but didn’t seem to recognize me. I don’t know if that’s good or bad, but I guess in a way it’s good. I’ve been concerned that she’d react as she did in the cafeteria the first time we saw one another. If she did that again when I entered her room, I surely wouldn’t be able to continue doing it.

After they passed, Ms. Bali whispered, “That was Ms. Nichols with Dr. Brown. It’s sad, you’ll see when you start visiting her, but she’s lost all sense of reality. You may have read the book about her, but she’s had a pretty rough life for someone so young. I keep hoping that one day she’ll snap out of it.”

Meredith paused for a moment before asking, “Is that possible? Can people really
snap out
of it?”

“I’ve been here for over twenty years, so I’ve seen a few cases; however, we shouldn’t keep our hopes up. Cases like that are extremely rare...”

I’m going to do some research and see if I can find out how you can facilitate that “snapping”. Oh, I told her I hadn’t read the book, but I’d look it up. Then she told me not to, that she probably shouldn’t have told me, and it would probably bias my opinion.

She has no idea how biased I already am!

Emily entered the waiting room of Everwood’s counseling center. She knew the facility backwards and forwards, and this was her favorite area—that is, if she had one at all. It was airy and open, with plenty of sunlight. They’d paid extra to get Claire a window that faced East. Emily knew her sister loved sun and hoped that the sunrises would help her; however, according to the reports, each morning when the staff entered her room they found her draperies still closed. At first, Emily had been more willing to entertain suggestions for Claire’s recovery, but with each passing day, week, and month, Emily’s optimism waned.

This was Emily’s bi-monthly meeting with Claire’s doctors, where she’d listen to their theories and suggestions. Once a month, she met with the administrators and discussed confidentiality. At those meetings, she emphasized the importance of maintaining her rules. With these obligations, as well as visiting Claire at least three times a week, Emily’s schedule was very full. She also had a family at home that needed her attention. That family was larger than it would have been without Claire, and for that reason, Emily swore she’d never be regretful. Nichol was a joy, whom she and John were honored to raise. Of course, sometimes she wondered if Michael suffered because of loss of attention, but then she’d see the two cousins interacting like siblings and realize, Nichol was a blessing—despite her parentage.

“Mrs. Vandersol,” the receptionist’s voice brought Emily back to present. “Dr. Brown is ready; may I take you back to her office?”

“No, Sherry, I know the way.”

Sherry smiled. “I’m sure you do, please help yourself.”

As Emily walked the corridor toward the doctor’s office, she thought about Claire’s various doctors and therapists. At Everwood, every employee was female. Since a number of the residents were victims of domestic violence, the belief was that decreased male interaction helped to facilitate their recovery. Even male visitors were restricted to special rooms, away from the general population of patients. Emily had visited those rooms too, the first few times John visited. Now, at least once a month, he’d come visit Claire. The moment he laid eyes on Nichol, he abandoned his anger regarding Claire and Anthony’s reconciliation. John not only stepped up as an uncle and a father-figure, but also as a brother-in-law.

After everything happened—the incident—John needed to return to California. After all, he worked for SiJo and had obligations. Of course, Emily stayed in Iowa with Claire. At first, Claire was too frail and Nichol needed care, then there was the trial. With time and Emily’s pregnancy, traveling became difficult. Staying in Iowa was convenient; nonetheless, she never assumed they’d make it home. Truthfully, they didn’t consider it—until Timothy Bronson approached John.

Tim was named acting CEO of Rawlings Industries, by the board of directors, when Anthony initially disappeared. Although he was young, he’d proven himself to both the board and investors. Considering all she and John had done to harm Rawlings Industries, it seemed unbelievable that Tim would ask John to help rebuild the empire, or that the board of directors would approve his request. Tim did—and so did the board. Emily recalled the lengthy discussions by both John and Tim and her and John. The final deciding factor was the court’s decision allowing Claire to enter a private mental treatment facility. The court had one stipulation—Claire couldn’t leave Iowa. Prior to that, Claire had been in a state run facility. It wasn’t awful, but Emily hated it. She visited almost every day to assure Claire’s well-being. Of course, back then, Emily’s hopes for her sister’s recovery were much higher.

There was no question—Everwood was a much better facility; nevertheless, Emily didn’t feel right leaving Claire and living across the country. In the beginning, Emily believed having Nichol near her mother would be beneficial. Unfortunately, those visits proved to be another failed attempt to facilitate Claire’s recovery. Once Nichol was old enough to understand the situation, Emily believed her niece’s best interest needed to be considered—Nichol hadn’t been to Everwood in over a year.

The court no longer dictated Claire’s treatment; as next of kin with power of attorney, Emily had complete control. Iowa was now their home, and John was gainfully employed by a recovering Rawlings Industries. Meredith Banks was right when she said Nichol didn’t lack for money, and neither did Claire. That was John’s incentive. This time, when he considered the offer to work for Rawlings, he wasn’t accepting charity from a family member. No, this time, he was providing help to his family. Claire and Nichol couldn’t manage or grow their fortune. Since Anthony was gone, John did what he’d done years earlier when Emily and Claire’s parents died; he stepped up.

Emily squared her shoulders and knocked on Dr. Brown’s open door. The pretty blonde psychiatrist stood and welcomed her, “Emily, please come in. I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve invited Dr. Fairfield to join us today.”

It was then that Emily noticed the older gentleman sitting off to the side of the room. The fact he was male caught Emily by surprise. “Hello”—she extended her hand as Dr. Fairfield stood and shook it.

Before Emily could say more, Dr. Brown began, “I’ve asked Dr. Fairfield to join us today because he’s a research professor at Princeton, specializing in traumatic brain injuries. I heard him speak a few weeks ago at a conference and believe he could give us a fresh perspective on Claire.”

Emily sat taller. “Research? I’m sorry, Doctor, but I don’t want anyone
experimenting
on my sister. She’s been through enough already.”

Dr. Fairfield spoke—with a thick English accent, “Mrs. Vandersol, I assure you, I’m only here to offer my opinion. I won’t use any of the data regarding Mrs. Rawlings without your permission.”

“Ms. Nichols, Doctor, I need you to understand that the name
Rawlings
may
never
be used in the presence of my sister—No exceptions.”

Dr. Fairfield looked toward Dr. Brown. Dr. Brown smiled and spoke, “Emily, I’ve only shared the medical information with Dr. Fairfield—nothing personal. I promise we’ll review all of that before he examines Claire. Currently, he’s only seen her CT scans and read my notes. I believe there’s something I’m missing. I don’t know what it is; however, Dr. Fairfield has documented cases of spontaneous recovery—”

Emily interrupted, “I’ve done my research. Most recoveries occur within the first year. After that, the likelihood is greatly diminished. Isn’t that right?”

Dr. Fairfield replied, “That’s correct; however, the cases to which Dr. Brown is referring were significantly outside the normal time period for recovery.” Emily contemplated his words as he added, “One case was four years out.”

Four years!
Emily thought about that. It’d already been over two. She’d come to terms with the idea that Claire would never recover,
but was that a life?
“What does this mean? What will you do to Claire?”

Dr. Brown replied, “We need your permission for Dr. Fairfield to examine Claire and possibly perform more tests.”

“More tests? What other tests could you possibly perform which other doctors haven’t already done?”

The doctors spent the next forty minutes explaining Dr. Fairfield’s research. The tests weren’t invasive, and Emily’s rules would be maintained. They may introduce some medications or combination of medications that have been previously untried. First, Dr. Fairfield wanted to determine if the cause of her psychosis was indeed head injury, or if it could be something else.

Emily reluctantly shared Claire’s history. She didn’t like the idea of more treatment. After all, Claire was content.
Why make her uncomfortable or uneasy?
Then again, if there was even a remote possibility—Emily couldn’t say no.

That night, at home with John and the kids, she watched as Michael and Nichol played. When she looked at her niece, she saw Claire and the same carefree ambition her sister once possessed. She also saw the dark eyes of Anthony Rawlings. There were times she detested those eyes. When that negativity crept in, Emily reminded herself—nurture verses nature. Nichol wouldn’t know the life of revenge that her father had allowed to destroy him and anyone else unfortunate enough to be within his sphere of influence. Her eyes would see the world as a place of endless possibilities where love and forgiveness prevail. Emily vowed that with her and John’s help Nichol would see the world as her mother once had—before—

July 15, 2016

I finally did it, but I don’t know if I’m happy or not...I delivered Claire’s lunch and was able to talk to her. When I entered her room, she was sitting at the window, looking out at the bright skies. Although I spoke and made noise, she didn’t acknowledge my entrance. At first, I hesitated to make eye contact.

What I didn’t realize was that I couldn’t. I stepped in front of Claire, but her expression didn’t change. She continued her gaze, exactly as it had been, as if I weren’t there at all. I tried speaking, quietly at first; then louder. Although she didn’t speak or look at me, she eventually got up and walked to the table where she allowed me to feed her.

After Claire ate about half of the lunch, she abruptly stood and walked back to the chair by the window.

Truthfully, I’d been so emotional while she ate that I’d forgotten to speak. When I looked at my watch, I realized I still had ten minutes before I was expected back to the kitchen, so I went back to her. Kneeling in front of her, I touched her knee...

“Claire, can you hear me?” Meredith desperately tried to keep emotion out of her voice; however, with the tears sliding down her cheeks, she wasn’t sure it was possible. Intellectually, Meredith knew the rules regarding Ms. Nichols. Truthfully, she wasn’t thinking. Her heart was breaking at the sight of her friend, now a shell of the vivacious woman she’d once been. “Claire, it’s me, Meredith. Don’t you remember me? We went to Valparaiso together...” Meredith was careful not to mention Anthony, Nichol, or anything else from the last six years. She did, however, ramble on for ten minutes about life as it had been when they were college students.

Never once did Claire’s expression change; although, at some point, she began humming. Undeterred, Meredith rambled about their sorority house and Chicago. It wasn’t until Meredith was out of Claire’s room, nearing the kitchen, that Claire’s tune resonated in her mind. Meredith recognized the song:
Take Me Out To The Ball Game—
the seventh inning stretch at Wrigley.