Conviction (4 page)

“It’s almost cold. With the wind and everything—”

“Now you’re just making up excuses.” He leaned back for a moment and stared at me. “You ain’t afraid to die, but you’re afraid of going for a ride with me?”

“No.” I kissed him though the helmet. “But I am afraid of brain damage.”

He grabbed me and pulled the helmet on my head. Whatever size he had gotten me, he had chosen just right because it was snug but comfortable.

“I know what you mean.” The surprise made me yelp when he picked me up and placed me on the back of the bike. “A whole lotta things out there worse than death.”

I wrapped my arms around him, already feeling better just having him that much closer.

“We’ll stay in the speed limit and everything” he promised. I swear I saw him smiling through the visor.

Charlie kicked the stand out from the bike in a rapid motion that made me jump. He laughed at my reaction and switched gears, so we began gliding around the garage in slow circles, generally increasing speed as we exited the driveway.

“Even Elise can catch us at this rate,” I teased.

He laughed then revved up the engine before switching the gears again. I couldn’t see what he was doing over his shoulder, but I felt confident pressed against his back with my arms acting as a sort of fleshy seat-belt for him.

As we increased speed, I called out and Charlie laughed even louder. I have to admit though, I wasn’t genuinely afraid. In fact, I very much liked the way the naked branches of the orchards flew past us, unobscured by windows or the metal frame of a car. And although the grass and the yards surrounding the house were deceased for the winter, at the speed we were going it was easy to imagine them a lofty, rich green, like the first time I had seen them. I began to laugh as the balloons anchored at the end of the driveway protested our exit and danced in the wind we left behind. I hoped we didn’t cause any damage.

Once we reached the main road we paused for a moment. My feet were vibrating from the movement of the engine. Charlie tangled his hands around mine and forced my grip around his waist to tighten.

“Which way?”

I shrugged. “Surprise me.” I headbutted his helmet with mine, and he threw his head back violently as though he were actually hurt. I giggled and leaned against his back, as though he were my personal body armor—in a way, I suppose he was.

We headed left, a route that was mostly scenic in nature. Passing empty orchards and fields that no longer supported their crop or wildflowers, I recognized the landscape from my first arrival. Seeing it in decay like this was an easy reminder of how things fell apart and how worried I had been during that interval when Charlie was hurt. When it had been my fault…

I tried to shake those thoughts from my head and focus on the feel of Charlie against me and how good it was to have him so close. Every so often, I would rub my thumb along his abdomen and feel his entire torso clench—I had to bite my lip from laughing.

It wasn’t just for the sake of burdening Elise and Ben, or the cost of a dorm that made me want to stay with Charlie. It was that one temptation that neither one of us had given into yet. The desire that Charlie insisted I would come to my senses about.

Tensions aside, I stopped my maneuverings when Charlie began jerking the bike forward and swerving. I gasped and clenched him tightly. Dear God, what if I had distracted him into killing us both?

“Now you know how I feel!” he shouted.

I looked up. I could feel him smiling again. “How you feel?”

“Like you’re trying to kill me!”

“If I wasn’t so afraid to let go, I’d hit you right now!”

He laughed his Charlie laugh. “That’s a win-win for me then, ain’t it?”

We cruised up tall hills and through the countryside, avoiding the underside of town where people were still busy or closing up shop for the day. Since the holiday season was still fresh, many homes and vineyards we passed were wearing seasonal garments. As the sun began to set, I watched while bulbs in different colors and sizes shined on chimneys and roofs, fountains and trees, patios, gutters, and even a dog’s house.

The wind brushed against my denim-clad legs and chilled them past the material and flesh to my bones. Though I tried to hold back, I felt myself shiver.

“You wanna go back?” he shouted

“Not on your life!”

His hand briefly touched mine. “I ain’t having you get sick.”

“Did you know the weather doesn’t actually cause viruses?” When he didn’t respond, I tried again. “Anyway, you’re the one
not
wearing a coat!” I tugged at his brown long-sleeve t-shirt that rested underneath a gray short sleeve one.

“I don’t matter like you do,” he shouted “‘Sides, I’m always real warm.” He took his hand from the brake and used it to place my freezing balled up fist under his shirt.
Why
hadn’t I thought of that?
His stomach turned to goosebumps when I touched him, but to me, those defined muscles felt like a heating pad on my icy hands.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I’m not cold!” I laughed and put both of my hands together. Although I’m not sure from what, he shivered.

“So much for being a good liar.”

He drove back faster than before. It was as though we were trying to race the sunset as it layered its way throughout the valley. Every shadow fell on the pavement after us, trying to consume us in all of its heaviness. Just above, I could see the makings of a few twinkling stars and a crescent moon giving way above the hillside.

As we raced into the drive I could see white, twinkling lights flickering around the white tents in the backyard and the fountain in the front of the house was already on, transforming the water into a cascade of colors.

Charlie slowed down as we circled the garage. “You think anybody missed us?”

“There you are!” My head was constricted by my helmet and the angle, but I knew Elise was there when Charlie shut off the engine and the smell of her perfume pervaded the garage.

I felt Charlie’s stomach constrict with laughter, and although he tried to pull away, I held him to him with an instinctual refusal to let go.

Elise’s heels echoed in the garage and closed in on us until she stood in front of us. “You two are the worst of the bunch! Charlie, Benjamin needs your help, and Addie, I need your help with a couple of last minute things.” I took my head out of the helmet and could clearly see Elise’s hair strapped in curlers—the loose ends secured in small pieces of plastic wrap.

Charlie also removed his helmet. “Sorry ‘bout that. We must have forgot.” He grinned back at me and helped me off the bike. My feet were still vibrating.

Elise tapped her heel against the floor and glanced back and forth at us both. “You know you can’t just whisk her away and have her all to yourself anytime you want?”

“I was a willing hostage this time, Elise.” I rolled my eyes at them both. “Honest.”

As she pulled me from the garage, she called over her shoulder, “You have to learn to share, Charlie!”

Elise made me run with her all the way back to the house and straight to the kitchen, where caterers were running over each other, setting up platters and heating trays for the buffet stations.

I was out of breath, mostly from giggling. I could smell lemon pepper and fish as soon as we entered the back of the house. The kitchen was filled with boxes of fresh produce, Styrofoam crates of dry ice, and counters of cooking accessories. Shards of lettuce and something slimy littered the floor. I saw Elise cringe when she noticed the mess, but we continued to skate around the chaos, hitting the brakes suddenly as Reid came through with a ladder and a string of lights over his shoulder.

“I asked you to have that done an hour ago,” Elise said.

“Well, it’s getting done
now,
isn’t it?”

Ben walked by with a large vase of assorted gladioli. Despite his smaller stature, I could swear I saw him trying to hide behind the tall flowers. She tromped after him with a lecture ready. From up above on the ladder,
Reid imitated her.

Chapter 4

The next day was just as crazy. Early on, I ran errands with Elise; going with her to get her nails done and pick up dry cleaning. Later, I helped her do a last minute inventory on the noisemakers and fix the origami fortune cookies that she attempted on her own. Things only started to settle down sometime mid-evening when the cake arrived, and the last truck from the rental company left.

I showered quickly and went back to the rose bedroom. The heavy blinds were still drawn from that morning and there was a neatly folded sleeping-bag in the corner beside my empty duffle bag.

I smiled fondly, thinking of our awkward first night together. It had only been eleven o’clock, but my body was telling me it was four hours later thanks to the jet-lag that I refused to submit to. I tried not to watch while he rolled out of the sleeping-bag on the side of the bed, but I loved every detail of his movement. He’d left New Jersey two weeks before Christmas, and I had missed him immensely.

“You know this mattress is
really
comfortable.” I stretched long until my spine made a popping sound.

“It should be,” Charlie said. “Elise went out and bought the best one she could find.”

I groaned into the pillow case. “I wish she wouldn’t have done that. I’d be happy to sleep on a futon. ” I rolled to the other side and stared down at Charlie below. “You don’t have to be on the floor. There’s more than enough room for both of us up here.” I patted the comforter conspicuously.

Charlie tucked his arms behind his head as if pretending not to notice. “Nope. I’m good.”

I growled in aggravation and threw myself back against the memory foam pillows Elise had also taken the consideration to purchase.

Tapping my fingers impatiently, I waited for him to give in, waited for him to realize the lack of logic in his decision and make a judgment based on practicality instead of his stubborn sense of honor or whatever it was keeping us apart.

But then a few minutes went by, and a few minutes more. It entered my mind that he was actually going to stick with this compromise we had thought up involving him and I staying together as long as we remained separated. Charlie had expressed some concern for our newfound privacy and what it might mean for his lack of self-control (or mine, for that matter). I innocently suggested we forget the entire concept of restraint and go to the place he rented on the other side of town.

He called me a vixen.

“Fine,” I declared. “If you won’t come up here,” I rolled myself in the feather-down comforter, turning myself into a human burrito, “then I’m coming down there.”

I rolled off the bed and crashed onto Charlie. He and the comforter made for a sufficient landing. He circled his arms around me, coughing at the sudden loss of air.

I pushed myself away. “Yikes! Did I hurt you? I’m sorry!”

Charlie’s breathing returned to normal, and he chuckled, tucking my hair behind my ear. “Only about one way you could hurt me, Addie. That definitely ain’t it.”

I rolled my eyes and grabbed a pillow from the bed. “You don’t have to touch me if you don’t want to, but I just want you close. Is that okay?”

I lay down on the floor beside him in my comforter cocoon and closed my eyes. While it was fun to tease Charlie, the last thing I wanted was to make him truly uncomfortable. If he began to associate me with negative feelings, then he might not want me around at all, even in a platonic arrangement.

The blanket pulled a little tighter, and I felt myself being yanked around in the opposite direction until I was being rolled over within the blanket itself. Charlie laughed. “It’s like unwrapping a present.”

“Hey, I liked my cocoon!” Before I could protest further he pulled me back to him, into his sleeping bag, and zippered it shut behind us as best he could. The sudden warmth of him pressed against me startled me into silence. Like so many times before when he was around, I couldn’t breathe properly.

“The problem,” he whispered into my ear, “is that
all
I wanna do is touch you.”

I regained my vocabulary and the use of my tongue long enough to speak coherently. “So why don’t you?”

Pulling away slightly, he laughed a little. “‘Cause you’re still young and I don’t want you to do something and then have you hate me for it later.”

I squirmed out of the sleeping-bag halfway. “Excuse me, I don’t know if you’ve realized this, but I am very able to make my own decisions. So far, I’ve made some decent ones…” I briefly remembered my time in the hold and winced at the memory.

“You know I can’t hate you.” I wiggled myself back into the sleeping-bag so I was comfortable and rested my head against his chest. “But if you really want, we’ll do things your way.”

He sighed into my hair but said nothing.

I leaned forward and kissed the serpent on his neck, making him shiver despite the heat of our bodies. “I love you, too. I just hope you know that when my birthday comes, I’ll be taking advantage of everything adulthood has to offer. Including you.”

We slept on the floor the entire night. It seemed neither one of us was willing to give in to our pride. I wondered what we would do the next night—if every night would contain the same unrelenting argument, the same temptation…

Overall, my attempt to entice him had failed miserably, but I knew I wouldn’t give in that easily. I hoped he did, too.

We spent most of New Year’s Eve wrapped up in each other, trying to avoid Elise in all her tyranny and failing pretty miserably. Eventually, we broke apart long enough for Charlie to help Yuri move the cars out of the driveway and for me to check in with everyone at home. Once I was on my computer, I immediately started flipping through my e-mail. Though I was hoping to hear something from Robbie, I was just as happy to see another message from Dad.

Addie—

Just saw a news report about kids who drink and drive during New Year’s. You know you can put a cab on the credit card if you need to, right? Don’t do anything reckless. If you go to a party, remember not to leave anything you’re drinking unattended.

Call me in the morning just so I know you’re alive, okay?

Dad

P.S. Adam says hi and was happy to hear your flight went okay.

Old Man,

Planning on a low key evening tonight: just hanging out with a few new friends. I have no plans on drinking and/or driving, setting fires, getting anything tattooed/pierced, taking off clothes, gambling, joining a gang, or committing any major felonies.

Love you lots,

Addie. 

I laughed all through typing it, hoping that Dad would appreciate the humor when he read it. Even though I was more than okay since my abduction, I had to wonder if Dad would be less protective if it had never happened. Would it take a year of me being away from home with no disasters or only a couple of weeks before he got back to himself? Oddly enough, it was like Dad was the most affected by my kidnapping, like just the fear of losing someone else and police officers telling him not to keep his hopes up made him lose something on the inside. Humor had always been his defense to counteract any somewhat serious situation but even that wasn’t as effective these days.

One of Dad’s best talents was making Mom laugh, but he could make her mad with his sense of humor too, like cracking jokes minutes within hearing of her parents’ deaths. But he could always make her laugh again, and that was all Robbie and I had ever grown up with. With such blatant feelings, I didn’t really know how to behave around him around him anymore. And without being able to predict how he would react to any given circumstances, I didn’t even want to begin to approach the Charlie situation. This new and sentimental Dad was too strange for me. I too, needed to adjust.

I rummaged through the rest of my e-mails, deleting the advertisements, until I reached the end of the list and saw an unfamiliar address with a familiar name.

Dear Addie,

I hope this e-mail reaches you in good spirits and your flight wasn’t too terrible. The last time I traveled out west, the flight was laid over three times before I finally got to Seattle, and by then the seminar I was supposed to attend was half over…

Anyway, I wanted to tell you I made the trip to the American Museum of Natural History last week just before Christmas. You were right about the planetarium. But I have to say the spider exhibit gave me the creeps. Didn’t you like the butterfly conservatory more?  

Anyway, I hope your New Year starts off decent and uneventful. And if anyone in your dorm gives you a hard time, just tell them you know someone at the Bureau.

Best,

Adam

Though I had given him my e-mail, I hadn’t put much thought to him actually contacting me once I got to California. I wasn’t surprised he and Dad had talked already, though. Truthfully, I was kind of grateful for it and hoped their relationship continued—at least until Robbie’s contract expired. While it was possible he was priming me for more information about my case, I didn’t read anything too overt. Even after I read and reread his e-mail looking for some sneaky interrogation technique, I didn’t see anything suspicious that would suggest he was being anything other than friendly. Hopefully, it would stay that way.

Harpsten,

I have difficulty understanding why people are so easily startled by spiders. Last time I was at AMNH with Robbie, a group of summer camp kids were there and a group of kids were crying at a live action video of the goliath birdeater. Don’t these kids know how important spiders are in the ecosystem? Geez!

Thank you for the warm wishes. Although I’m in a new place, I’m already making some new friends and everyone

I suddenly thought of Reid and paused, half tempted to complain about my adversary, since I was sure Reid wasn’t happy about me being here, but I decided against it.

has been really nice so far and I can’t complain. Classes start next week and I’m as excited as any nerd could be.

I know this may be a lot to ask, but please keep an eye on my Dad if your work schedule permits. Like I mentioned before, I think having younger people around keeps him feeling young himself.

Take Care & Stay Safe,

Addie

I closed the laptop and lay back on the bed. I decided it was good to have more than one connection to home. I wanted another line to Dad and Robbie, the town I grew up in, and someone who knew me, even if it was only because he had to because of his occupation.

From downstairs I could hear music start to hum. Just the idea the party was that much closer made me agitated. I tried to shake off these thoughts as I stared out the window. I felt the chill from the winter air and closed the latch as two unfamiliar cars pulled to the front of the drive. Glancing at the clock I saw that it was already past eight, explaining Elise’s aggravation that as of an hour ago, none of us seemed to have it together.

Eventually curiosity got the better of me. I began to wonder what Elise had picked out for me. I slid open the closet door and flipped on the light. The dress was entirely too luxurious with its vintage-style full skirt and shirred bodice. Gently, I took it from the closet and ran the material under my fingertips to explore the sleeveless wonder. There was no way Elise could have intended for me to wear something so palpably beautiful. With metallic tulle over the not-quite peach silk, it shone even brighter against the golden sash that ran under the bodice. And while it may never have been something I could have chosen for myself, the dress looked like something I would have admired from afar.

I pulled my hair up into halves while leaving the majority of it down as Elise had shown me and fastened it with a delicate hair clip in a golden bronze hue and shaped like a leafless branch. As I looked in the mirror, I began to actually feel a little excited about dressing up. Family events had always been casual, and I had never been to any school prom. Along with the clip and dress, Elise had left a pair of glittering shoes which were entirely flat (for this small consideration I was extremely grateful), and some makeup items that I didn’t recognize. I added them to the mental list of things I owed her, reasoning that if she bad taste it would be far easier to refuse her kindnesses.

The dress fit me perfectly and I twirled around in circles to watch the skirt fly out. Once I slipped on my shoes I considered the cosmetic gizmos that were lying on the dresser but realized the results would be horrific.

For a few more minutes I watched the cars as they entered the drive. Many people were being dropped off by town cars and looked like they were car pooling to avoid the burden of having to drive themselves home. I watched women wearing furs and men carrying bottles of liquor as Elise greeted them at the door—it seemed much too glamorous.

Figuring I couldn’t wait it out any longer, I left the room and followed the sound of laughter and soft piano music to the center house. In my brief absence however, an incredible transformation had taken place, and instead of Elise and Ben’s living room I walked into a glamorous winter wonderland. I was completely transported into a different world. Finishing his task with precision speed, Reid had hung white icicle lights on the tops of the high ceilings and around the windows. Empty wine bottles were recycled as holders for plump white candles in the center of every table, the favors Elise had handmade were displayed on one of the tables, which were also surrounded by white lights and the origami fortune cookies I had thrown together.