Convincing Constance (The Blow Hole Boys) (13 page)

“Take your time.” I expected him to lean in a
nd kiss me, but instead, he fell into the chair I’d just been leaning over.

Pulling the door open, I slipped into the dark hallway and started toward the bathroom. It was then that I remembered he’d ripped my panties off and there was no telling where they were. The last thing I wanted to do was leave those lying around. No one would know they were mine, but still.

I turned to go back toward the room. There was a crack in the door, letting the dim red light shine into the hall. Peeking in, I saw Tony pull out his baggy, pour a handful of pills into his palm, and toss them back.

I forgot all about my panties as I stepped away from the door. One thing was for sure
; we had to have a long talk once he was sober.

I woke the morning after
our last show and I couldn’t remember how I’d even gotten home. I remembered the party, I remembered drinking and taking pills, but after that there was nothing.

I opened my eyes to the bright sun and winced. Pulling the sheets back, I realized I was naked. It was then that a female hand wrapped around my stomach and pulled me back. It was Constance. She was sleeping sweetly at my side and wearing one of my T-shirts and a pair of my boxers.

I smoothed back her hair and ran a finger down the side of her face. She was mine. I could hardly believe I had her. She’d told me she loved me, and I was definitely in love with her. Something I thought I’d never have was lying next to me with her arms wrapped around my naked body.

Turning on my side to face her, I leaned in and gave her a kiss. She smiled in her sleep and then turned onto her stomach. The boxers she
wore rose up, letting me get a full view of her ass. I reached out to palm it but stopped when I saw a light bruise the size of a handprint. It was a new bruise and looked as if someone had hit her pretty hard.

Reaching out, I shook her.

“Constance. Wake up.”

She moaned and whined in her sleep
, and I shook her again.

“Constance
,” I said louder.

She turned on her side and looked up at me with sleepy eyes.

“What’s wrong?”

“You have a big bruise on your ass. What happened? Did someone hit you?”

I’d kill someone. If it was a fan, I’d search them out and beat the shit out of him.

She surprised me when she started laughing.

“I guess you were rougher than I realized,” she said before laying her head back onto her pillow.

No way had I left a mark on her like that. Not to mention, I couldn’t remember anything like that happening the night before.

“Are you saying…? Did I do that?”

I felt like shit. Worse than shit. I’d never laid my hands on a woman before and if I had
, it was in a sexual manner and never hard enough to leave a bruise.

She picked
her head up and looked at me, confused. “You mean you don’t remember?”

I stared at her with my mouth hanging open. I tried hard to find something to say that didn’t make her feel like shit
‘cause I didn’t remember whatever it was that happened.

Her face turned sad and then something crazy happened
. Her eyes filled with tears.

“Tony? Do you remember having sex with me at the after
-party last night?” she asked.

I knew it was going to break her heart, but I wasn’t a liar and I didn’t want to start being one. I reached out and grabbed her hand, but she pulled it away.

“Do you?” she asked again.

This time her voice shook and I felt like I’d been punched in the stomach.

“Constance, I…”

I couldn’t say it. I thought I could, but I bitched up.

“Oh my God, you don’t.”

She jumped from the bed and stood there looking down at me.

“I mean, I kind of do. I don’t really remember much from last night.” I tried to fix it. “I think maybe I drank too much.”

“Or maybe you took too many pills?”

Again, I felt like I’d been punched in the stomach. Sure, I took pills, but it was mostly for the pain. I admitted freely that I took them on occasion to relax, but I didn’t have a problem. At least not one as bad as some of the people I knew.

The whole situation was crazy. We had barely started seeing each other and already we were arguing.

“You know, I’m glad this happened. I knew last night when I saw you taking a handful of pills that we’d have to talk about this sooner or later.”

And that pissed me off. I climbed from the bed and went to my dresser for a pair of shorts.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” I said.

Her mouth popped open like she could hardly believe the words I said and then she put her hands on her hips.

“You’re joking, right? It’s obvious to anyone around you that you have a drug problem.” Her voice softened and she walked up to me and put her hand on my arm. “Look, Tony. I don’t know what happened to you or how you got your scars, but I think that’s when it started. I want to help you. Talk to me, and I’ll help you.”

Again, her words angered me. I wasn’t sure why. Maybe because she was speaking the truth and the truth sucked. I wasn’t sure what it was, but I didn’t like it. I don’t know what came over me, but I shook her hand from my arm.

“I don’t need anyone’s help!” I yelled.

Her face turned red and she matched my stare.

“Fine! If you don’t have a problem, then you should have no problem getting rid of the pills.”

She went to my top drawer where I kept my stash and pulled it open. I had no idea how she found my stash, but then I looked down at the boxers she was wearing and I knew.

She pulled out a bag full of prescription bottles and held them in my face.

“You don’t have a problem, huh? Then you should be perfectly fine with me doing this.”

She went to the window and pulled back the curtains. Unlocking the window, she struggled for a bit to get it open.

“What the fuck are you doing, Constance? Give me my shit.”

I didn’t want to yell at her again, but I was already starting to feel the panic of not having any pills. It took me forever to find the right doctors who would give me the right prescriptions. If she threw my pills out, I would have to wait until I could refill them to get them back.

I went across the room and grabbed her arm just as she was about to toss my ba
g out the window.

“Those have my fucking name on them.” It was the only thing I could think of. “I’ll get rid of them, but not like this. The last thing I need
is the fucking paparazzi getting an anonymous tip that the bass player of Blow Hole is a pill popper.”

She let go of the bag when I pulled and then stepped to the side. I closed the window and locked it before turning around.

“You promise you’ll get rid of them… for me?” Again, her eyes watered up.

I had no idea Constance was such an emotional girl. I didn’t know where the hard-ass she used to be had gone, but it was kind of nice seeing the sweet
, caring side of her.

“For you, I promise.”

And I would. Just as soon as I could.

We sat and she told me about her life and how she’d grown up around drugs and craziness. I hadn’t thought about the fact that her dad had died from an overdose. No wonder she hated drugs so much and never took them. I couldn’t blame her.

She told me all about the situation with her mom and how she was losing everything. She explained about Jack moving in with her mom and how she couldn’t stand to be around him.

“Why do you hate him so much?” I asked. “I mean
, besides the obvious. Did he do something to you when you were younger?”

“Something like that
,” she responded.

I didn’t push. I didn’t want to know details. As it was
, I already wanted to kill the bastard.

The whole time she spoke, I held her in my arms and rubbed her back. After she was done, I spilled my secrets. I told her about the accident and losing Reynolds and Kevin. They were friends and I’d lost them. Finn and I started out playing with them, and they were gone. So young
… and gone.

I told her about Amanda and how I’d see her bloody face and an arm. I closed my eyes and relived my biggest nightmares over again. I left no secret untold, and when I was done, she ran her finger down the side of my face and told me she understood. Maybe she was right. Maybe I did have a problem. Actually, I knew I had a problem, and if it meant losing Constance, I’d do everything I could to quit.

Things were really looking up
. I moved all of my things, which wasn’t much, out of the guest room and into Tony’s room. The boys had a field day with that one, but they were happy to see Tony so happy.

Weeks went by, and Tony and I spent that time getting to know each other better. During the day
, we’d go out shopping or go to the beach, and then I’d spend my night in his arms. He gave up his pills for me and even though occasionally he’d have a drink with the boys, things were perfect. I was the happiest I’d been in a long time.

I sat with Zeke and we played and made up some new chords, which was unreal. He was a total asshole, but damn he was good at playing. His hand was doing much better and everyone was happy he would be able to join in on the new album.

As far as I went, I picked up a few jobs playing in some local bands. Sometimes, Tony and the guys would come out and watch and end up stealing the show, but I didn’t mind. I was just happy to be with him.

“Have I told you how much I love watching you finger your guitar?” Tony whispered in my ear on the way back to the condo.

“All the time.” I smiled into the dark.

“I can’t wait to get you home so I can take advantage of you. That new skirt you’re wearing gets me hard just looking at it.”

I reached down and pulled my skirt up enough so he could see the tattoo on my thigh he loved so much. “What this thing?” I grinned over at him.

“Go ahead and tease me. I’ll get payback when we get home
,” he said as he nibbled my earlobe.

“Umm
, I love payback.”

Turning to the side, I brought his lips to mine. We made out in the back of the car while Finn bitched about it in the front seat. Chet
, on the other hand, was enjoying the show.

“Damn, Tiny, you should let me watch
,” Chet said.

Tony lifted his hand to flip him off and I smiled against his lips.

That night he got his payback—all night long—and the next day my thighs ached as if I’d spent the night riding a horse.

Things were going entirely too perfect, and I couldn’t help but think something was going to swoop in and fuck it all up. Three days later, that something did indeed swoop in.

It was a Sunday and we were lounging on the couch, watching TV, when a loud knock sounded. I went to the door to answer it and found Shay standing there staring back at me.

Her hair was no longer blue but instead a bright red. She stared back at me behind her thin
-rimmed glasses.

“Hey, girl. What’s up?” I asked.

I hadn’t seen much of Shay and KC since I’d starting seeing Tony, but they understood since they were out busy trying to get what I already had.

“I have bad news, Constance. Your mom’s in the hospital. It’s not looking good. You should get there as soon as possible
,” Shay said with a pale face.

I wasn’t my mom’s biggest fan, but she was my mother. I ran to our room and changed into something that wasn’t full of holes, and then I grabbed the keys to my Malibu and headed for the door.

“I’ll take you, baby,” Tony said as he took my keys and pulled me to the elevator.

Apparently, Shay had filled him in when I left her standing in the doorway.

I remember getting in Tony’s big SUV. I remember the drive to the hospital, but everything was a big blur. When we got to the hospital doors, Tony pulled back.

“I’ll meet you in there, okay?”

I nodded and gave him a kiss before I walked away.

After talking to three different nurses, I was sent in the right direction.
Mom was in the intensive care unit and apparently had been brought in by an ambulance due to an accidental overdose.

They allowed me to go in, and when I did
, I was met with my mom lying in bed, full of tubes and wires. Everything from my past came rushing over me. The night in my bedroom with Jack, the loss of my father, everything.

My knees buckled beneath me and I sat in the chair beside my mom’s bed just in time to keep myself from falling. I sat there staring at my mother and again swore to myself that I’d never let drugs or alcohol take over my life. I swore to myself I’d never allow myself to be near the shit again.

I sat and waited for Tony to come and be there with me, but he never came. Finally, Shay showed up outside the hospital room since she wasn’t allowed in. She handed me the keys to Tony’s SUV.

“He said he wasn’t feeling well and to give you these.”

I took the keys from her and nodded. I remembered Tony telling me about his crazy fear of hospitals, and I understood. With all the madness going on around me, I’d forgotten all about it as he drove me to the hospital. As a matter of fact, it was sweet that he’d driven me there in the first place, not knowing if he’d even be able to go in. I couldn’t wait to get back to him and hug him.

My mom died the following morning. I stood to the side and watched as they unhooked everything that was keeping her alive and even though we had a shitty relationship, my heart broke.

With the exception of Tony and a few friends, I was completely alone. My mom nor my father had any brothers or sisters. I was an only child, and both sets of grandparents on both sides were already long gone.

I walked out of the hospital with tears on my cheeks and an extra hole in my heart. Not to mention the guilt that was pressing down on me for not trying harder to help my mom when she asked for it.

Tony stood at my side
as we released my mother’s ashes into the ocean off of the Santa Monica pier. It seemed fitting since I knew that was where she’d met my father. I could remember her telling me it was the best night of her entire life.

Afterward, Tony took me home where I la
y in his arms and cried until I fell asleep. Crying wasn’t something I did in front of anyone, but with him it was different. We were past the embarrassment of our honest feelings.

When I woke up, he was still holding me.

“I love you,” I said as I sat up and kissed him.

“I love you, too, pretty girl
,” he responded as he tucked my hair behind my ear.

“I’m glad you’re here with me.”

And I was. I had no idea what I would have done without him. It was as if God had given me Tony at the perfect time in my life. He knew my mother would be leaving soon and I needed someone in my world to keep me grounded.

“I’m glad I’m here, too.”

“Thank you,” I whispered into the side of his neck.

“For what?”

“For giving it all up for me. Drugs have ruined every person I’ve ever loved. I could never sit by and watch while they ruined you, too. I know it must have been hard, but you did it, and you proved how much you love me when you did.”

His body tensed a little before he brought my face to his and looked me in the eyes.

“I do love you, Constance. More than I ever thought was possible.”

And then he kissed me and spent the rest of the night showing me how much.