Convincing the Rancher (15 page)

She had no idea how to handle this. “But why worry about all that? I’m only here for a couple weeks. If we date, all we’ll do is find out we have nothing in common. You like all these outdoor activities and cows and stuff, and I like shopping and being in the city.”

“Have you enjoyed this today? Riding Wendy out here?”

“Yes, I have.” She hated to admit it.

“So maybe there’s a whole lot of other stuff out here you’ll like, too.”

“Fine, let’s say we go on a few dates. We’re on opposite sides of a very public controversy. You’re the mayor of Benson. What will your constituents say when they see us out together?”

“I dunno...that we’re a cute couple?” He picked a pebble off the ground and threw it down the hill. Somehow that boyish gesture, right in the middle of their very adult conversation, went straight to her heart. “I’m not worried about what people will think about us dating. Dating is healthy and natural. I’d be a lot more worried about what people would think about us sleeping together, no strings attached. That’s not really the example I want to set for my kid or my town.”

“I don’t date, Slaid. Ever. Sorry.” There, it was out.

His eyebrows shot up. “Ever? You mean you’ve never been on a date with anyone?”

“Well, maybe once or twice, years ago, but I don’t do relationships.”

“You mean you haven’t before. No reason you can’t start now.” The side of his mouth quirked up and that gentle teasing light was back in his eyes. “Branch out, try something new.”

“I think today was enough new for a while.”

“Tess.” He reached over and took her hand, wrapping it up in the warmth of both of his. “The fact is, by some crazy coincidence you showed up in my life again. And I won’t lie—I’ve wanted you to. For the past two years, I’ve wanted you to.”

“Us meeting again is a random occurrence. It doesn’t mean anything.”

He laughed outright at that. “I don’t think that’s possible. Don’t you believe in fate?”

“No! There’s no big plan, Slaid. There’s just life—it’s hard and a lot of bad stuff happens. So you have to grab the fun when you can and not let things get too serious.”

“So basically you’re saying you like to sleep around.”

His words stung. She met the pain in her usual way, with defiance. “Yep.”

“Why?”

There were probably a million pieces of psychobabble she could give him. But each of them would reveal a bit of her past that she didn’t want to talk about. She looked away from him. Stared at the view, trying to convince herself she didn’t care what he thought of her.

“Tess, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

She glanced over and saw sincerity in his eyes. And hurt, as well. He needed an explanation, but she didn’t have a good one. “Don’t you ever walk up to a cliff and wish you could step off the edge, just to see what happens?”

Slaid looked startled. “Maybe, but I think I
know
what happens. Even if it’s exciting at first, you hit the ground.”

“Well, maybe I just like that excitement.” She stood up and walked to where Wendy was eating. She’d let this get out of hand. She was supposed to be keeping things professional between them, but obviously the attraction they shared was too big for that. And he wanted more, and he made her want more, and she couldn’t have it.

“Tess, I never meant to make you uncomfortable.” He’d followed her to Wendy’s side.

“Well, you did. You know, not everyone is like you, Slaid, with your small-town values and your concern for your reputation. If you stepped out of Benson once in a while, you’d see that there are all kinds of people who live like I do, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Now, I’m ready to go.”

“Tess, I...” He didn’t finish. Instead he reached up and took the edges of her wool cap between his fingers and delicately pulled it down over her ears, ensuring she’d be warm for the ride back. The tenderness of the gesture softened her outrage and melted something icy inside. Made her wish she could be someone else. Someone who could give him what he wanted.

Slaid turned toward Wendy, ran his hand down her neck and took up her reins. The little horse reluctantly pulled away from the grass she’d been munching. He circled her around and pointed her toward the trail home. Tess managed to get herself in the saddle not
too
awkwardly, and Slaid handed her the reins before going to Puck and swinging into the saddle in a fluid motion that made it look easy.

They rode back in silence. And though she tried not to, Tess couldn’t help thinking about their kiss, and the way it had felt to be back in his arms. But the memory was tarnished with regret and something new, a dark sense of despair. She’d been given a glimpse of something gilded and beautiful that she’d never get to have.

Back at the trailer, Slaid helped her dismount, and he put Wendy in a halter and tied her to one of the metal loops on the trailer. Then he turned to Tess. “I’ll try not to judge how you live your life. But I know how I want to live mine—and I won’t change that.”

Tess nodded. “Well, at least we understand each other. Thank you for the ride.”

He kissed her cheek, just a gentle brush across her skin. A final reminder of what they might have if she’d just do things his way.

Inside her house, Tess leaned on the closed front door and slid down to sit on the floor. She pulled her knees to her chest, wrapped her arms around them and waited.

The relief she felt when she heard the truck pull away was expected. But the regret and sadness were the kinds of feelings she had worked very hard over the years not to feel. She wanted nothing to do with them.

When a tear slid down her face, Tess brushed it off and stood up abruptly. What was wrong with her? What was all this self-pity and weird longing? She’d learned long ago that she didn’t have the emotional skills to be in a relationship, that she did best when she was on her own.

Tess walked into the small study, unwrapping her scarf as she went. A file was on the table and she opened it, forcing herself to read the contents and get her mind back on work. Then she reached into her tote bag and yanked out another pile of files, slamming them onto the desk.
This
was her focus.
This
was her life.

Tearing off her coat, she sat down in the chair and picked up a pen, willing her mind to absorb the flowchart in front of her. By sheer force of will, she shoved all thoughts of Slaid aside and worked.

The afternoon outside her window faded away to dusk, but Tess remained at her desk. She read document after document, hoping they’d have some magical ability to patch the hole Slaid had just made in the armor around her heart.

CHAPTER TWELVE

“
W
HAT A GREAT PARTY!
” Tess hugged Samantha and looked around the crowded restaurant. Her friend had rented out Benson’s new Italian bistro in honor of Jack’s birthday.

“Thank you!” Samantha exclaimed, giving Tess a kiss on the cheek. “But where have you been? I thought we’d be hanging out every day while you were in Benson. But you’ve been so hard to reach.”

Tess saw the reproach in her friend’s eyes and wasn’t sure how to answer. The truth was, she’d been trying to avoid talking about babies. It was understandably Samantha’s favorite topic these days. And the conflict over the windmills added a whole other layer of awkwardness between them.

“I’m sorry, Sam, it’s harder than I thought to work on my own like this, away from the office. I have no assistant, and everything has to be done by phone and email—it all seems like it’s taking forever.”

She saw the hurt in Samantha’s eyes and knew this was the point in the conversation where she should promise to spend more time with her. But she couldn’t. So she changed the subject. “Well, Jack seems to be having fun at his party.”

“You think so?” Samantha looked over to where her husband was talking with a group of people by the fireplace. He seemed to have a sixth sense where his wife was concerned, because he immediately looked over and smiled.

He really was a handsome guy. Tess could see why Samantha was so fluttery around him, even after over a year of marriage. He came over and enveloped Tess in a hug. “Hey, Blondie,” he teased. “Great to see you. How’s the windmill business?”

She didn’t want to answer too seriously. It was a party after all. “It’s a breeze.”

He gave an appreciative chuckle at her lame joke. “I’m sure it is.” While they chatted, Tess watched Jack wrap his arm around his wife. She noticed the way Samantha leaned into him so comfortably. What that would be like to be so close to someone like that? It was almost as if Samantha and Jack were speaking a foreign language. Tess couldn’t imagine that level of ease and contentment with a man. Yet it seemed to envelop Samantha and Jack like a happy cloud.

“Oh, my gosh!” came the shriek from the door. “I can’t believe we’re all here!”

“Jenna!” Tess and Samantha said their friend’s name simultaneously.

The petite redhead flew across the room and threw an arm around each of them, pulling them in for a group hug. “Look at your tummy!” she exclaimed to Samantha.

Her fiancé, Sandro, strolled through the door, watching Jenna with an expression laced with so much masculine pride and tenderness that Tess looked away for a second, feeling as if she was intruding on a private moment. When she glanced back, he spotted her and grinned.

“Hey, Tess.” He pulled her in for a quick hug. She saw so much of them in San Francisco nowadays that Sandro felt like family. He even teased her on occasion about the first time they met, when she’d propositioned him at a party, not realizing he was Jenna’s date. But who could blame her? Sandro was the epitome of tall, dark and handsome, with enough urban artsy scruffiness thrown in to make most women think dirty thoughts.

“Sandro! You were able to escape from your restaurant for the weekend?”

“Got myself another chef now, and a manager. I can’t believe we’re doing so well in less than a year. It’s incredible—and it frees me up to spend more time with my future wife.” He reached for Jenna and pulled her in under his arm. She was so tiny and he was so tall that she fit right under his shoulder. He grinned at Jack. “Plus, my silent partner here seems pretty happy.”

“Hey, I know a good investment when I see one. Did we tell you, Tess, that we’re thinking of opening
another
restaurant?” Jack asked.

“Ooh, put it downtown, so I can get some decent food after work,” she requested.

“We’re considering it. Or maybe Hayes Valley.”

“No! No one can park there, your customers will all give up in frustration.”

“Or they’ll come eat there before heading to the opera house...”

“I hate to interrupt all this business talk,” Samantha said, “but the birthday boy here needs to mingle.”

“Later,” Jack said, lifting his beer to Sandro and Tess. “We value your opinion, Tess. No one knows San Francisco dining like you do.”

“That’s because she never cooks.” Samantha and Jenna said it together and collapsed against each other in giggles.

“Well, I spend my time perfecting other talents,” Tess defended.

That admission brought another round of laughter. Then Samantha and Jack excused themselves and wandered off through the crowd, arm and arm, to greet their guests.

Sandro looked around the room eagerly. “I need to go check this place out and have a chat with Dan, the owner.”

“Is it strange to be here when it was going to be your place at one point?” Tess asked. Not too long ago, Sandro had been in the process of opening a Basque restaurant in this building. Then he’d met Jenna and decided he’d try his luck in San Francisco.

“A little odd. But I have no regrets. All my dreams are coming true.” He leaned down and kissed Jenna on the top of her head. “Life is good.”

Jenna looked up at him and smiled. “It really is,” she said softly.

“And how are things at the ballroom?” Tess asked Jenna. “Is your tango class surviving without its star student? Meaning me?’

“Barely. Seriously, Tess. I think a couple of the guys dropped out when they realized you weren’t coming this session.” Jenna giggled. “But a few of the ladies seem pretty happy. They have a chance to shine now.”

“See? I’m just doing a favor for my sisters in dance. And hopefully I’ll be out of here in a few weeks and back to perfecting my moves every Wednesday night. I miss my favorite teacher.”

“I miss you, too,” Jenna said, reaching out and squeezing her hand briefly.

“Tess, do you want to come with us to meet Dan? I just saw him over by the patio doors.”

“You go ahead,” Tess said. “I’m heading to the bar for a drink.” The last thing she wanted to do was trail after her coupled-up friends like a third wheel.

“Make sure you admire the bar. I built it.” Sandro grinned at her and Tess laughed.

“I’ll be sure to ooh and aah.”

She watched Sandro and Jenna walk away, moving as one unit across the dining room. There was envy wriggling under her skin—something she’d never felt before and didn’t want to feel now. Hopefully a good Scotch and some light conversation would distract her from the strange sensation that life was moving on without her and she was getting left behind.

* * *

T
YLER SEEMED AS IF
he was used to girls jumping in bed with him. Tess could see why. Tall and lean, his muscular arms bulged from beneath his vintage Waylon Jennings concert T-shirt with the word
outlaw
scrawled across it. His blond hair had darker brown beneath it, making a girl want to run her fingers into its depths. It was hard to look away from his eyes. They were big and greenish brown, and he knew how to use them to flirt outrageously. Plus, he was funny and could spin a good yarn.

He was leaning his elbow on the bar, a bottle of Budweiser in hand, telling her a story about being in boot camp in the army and how a rat had found its way into his bunk mate’s duffel. The image made her squeamish, but at least the story was more entertaining than the obvious lines he’d been trying out on her earlier. And she appreciated the entertainment. It almost took her mind off a long list of topics she wanted to avoid thinking about at this party, including windmills, babies, baby showers and happily coupled-up friends. And Slaid. Though even with her superhuman powers of avoidance she wasn’t sure it was possible to stop thinking about him.