Read Cooking for Picasso Online
Authors: Camille Aubray
“Merci,”
he said to her in a gentlemanly voice with a beatific smile.
He's not showy enough to be a politician,
Ondine was thinking,
and not as buttoned-down as a businessman.
Picasso, having already spotted Ondine standing in the dining room awaiting his signal to serve, had given her a broad grin. “Ahâhere's my young chef!” he exclaimed now.
He appeared unusually animated, almostâcould it be, a bit nervous? It made him seem vulnerable and therefore more humanâlike any mortal who was anxious about throwing a party for friends whose opinions mattered.
He's counting on me!
Ondine thought worriedly.
The second man now said playfully to Picasso, “So! This is the angel in your kitchen?” He was taller, thinner and younger than the othersâstill in his forties, surelyâwith a fuzzy nimbus of brown hair framing a long, poetic face and soulful eyes that gave him a dashing yet slightly fragile air. He was more luxuriously dressed than the others, in a three-piece suit with a silk pocket-handkerchief and a fresh gardenia in his buttonhole. “Ah, yes,
mademoiselle,”
he said, “I heard your angel's wings beating gently as you flitted about the house.”
“Watch out for Monsieur Cocteau!” Picasso cautioned her. “He'll put you in one of his
avant-garde
films. You could end up on the other side of a looking-glass, unable to get out!”
They were behaving like schoolboys competing for the only girl in the room, Ondine observed, feeling nonplussed. Next to these tall, elegant men, Picasso was like a small, swarthy Arab sultan.
His guests recovered from the distraction of Ondine, and they returned to scrutinizing the painting on the mantel. “Come, Ondine, have a look!” Picasso exclaimed in that over-animated way.
He had never directly invited her to inspect his paintings. Surprised, she advanced toward this new canvas.
“Minotaure tirant une charette,”
said the man called Cocteau. Yes, indeed, here was a naked Minotaurâshe recognized the horned, bullish head from the sketches in his studioâpulling a big wheelbarrow; but this fellow was different, for he was almost like a cartoon, with a friendly, innocent face glancing over his shoulder at his haul, which was an overflowing, mad jumble of strange items: a large painting, a ladder tilted askew, a tree that might be a potted plantâ¦and a poor feminine-looking horse all twisted upside down. In the background was the familiar Mediterranean sandy beach and blue tide; but the stars in the greenish sky looked more like starfish floating in an upside-down sea.
The white-bearded man commented, “You know, this character reminds me of a junk man trundling all his possessions to another town in hope of better luck. Is it moving day for the Minotaur?”
“Exactemente!”
Picasso said. But he stared broodingly at his painting. Ondine noticed that he seemed unusually respectful of this older manâwas he some sort of critic or art dealer or journalist? This esteemed visitor had an aura of serenity, like a professor who was confident of his expertise.
Whereas Cocteau, the youngest one, was extremely eager to impress Picasso. “But clearly this Minotaur has murdered his mate,” he offered, “so he's hauling the mare away to bury her, yes?”
Indeed, the horse's head hung prostrate from the cart, almost touching the ground, her eyes staring, her open mouth revealing teeth grimaced in pain, her legs and hoofs in the air.
Picasso snorted. “Wake up, Cocteau!” he chided with a scornful expression.
The older gentleman, looking perplexed, agreed with Cocteau, saying, “
Bien sûr,
she's dead! Her entrails are hanging out!” He pointed to thickly painted lines of red and white at the poor horse's belly.
Beneath their jocular manner lurked an air of fierce professional competitiveness, Ondine noted; an underlying tension, as if they were soccer players who each didn't want to be the one to lose the ball.
“Well? What do
you
see?” Picasso asked, turning to Ondine as if to a referee. Startled, she realized that he truly expected an answer. His other guests did, too; the older man's eyes twinkled behind his thick glasses, and the younger fellow's soft mouth dropped open in amused suspense.
Like a student who'd been singled out, she gulped and studied the horse, following the bold brushstrokes so closely that she had to tilt her head as far upside-down as she could, to see the animal right-side up. Viewed this way, she realized, the red lines coming from the mare's belly were not entrails, but the outlines of a tiny creature, also upside down, with a distinct little faceâa miniature version of the mare's, with a similar long head, wide eyes and flared nostrils. Yes, of courseâa tiny baby horse.
“Comme il faut?”
the white-bearded man exclaimed, craning his neck to see upside-down, too.
Ondine blushed as she straightened herself upright again. “Go ahead, say it!” Picasso demanded.
“I don't think the mare is dead,” Ondine said earnestly. “She's just given birth to a foal.”
“Hooray!” shouted Picasso. “Thank heaven for the pure eyes of youth!” he added with a triumphant smirk at the other men.
“Surely this angel has a name?” queried Cocteau before he returned his gaze to the painting.
“She's my Ondine,” Picasso announced. “Straight from the sea. She's come to cook you the best lunch in all of Juan-les-Pins,” he boasted cheerfully.
The older man peered at her more appraisingly through his owlish eyeglasses. “You know,” he said thoughtfully, “if I were to paint this
jeune,
I would make her hair purple and red, because she has both beaujolais and bordeaux in those long curly grapevines of hers!” He bowed to Ondine.
“Henri Matisse
, Ã votre service, mademoiselle,
” he said in the most charming way possible.
Ondine gasped. No wonder Picasso was so deferential! She'd heard diners in the café arguing about Matisse's genius for years. One customer even came in proudly carrying a Matisse painting he'd bought; a landscape of the bay of Nice in shockingly primitive strokes and colors, yet, Ondine noted at the time, magically devoid of anything ugly like telephone wires, traffic, advertisementsâand people.
She felt herself curtsey in response to the artist's gallantry. But Picasso was scowling with ill-concealed jealousy now. “Well, are we going to eat, or are we going to stand here talking like ladies in a tearoom?” he said abruptly.
Henri Matisse calmly, peaceably reached out to a low table where he'd apparently left two bottles of wine with gift ribbons on their necks. He picked up one bottle and presented it to Picasso.
“à votre santé,”
he said amicably.
Ondine reached into a drawer and handed Picasso a corkscrew. He went into the dining room to open it, and the others followed him.
Ondine slipped back into the kitchen, even more worried about this business of preparing “the best lunch” in town. Quickly she arranged the appetizers on their dishes and loaded them onto a big tray. Ready. She took a deep breath, hoisted the tray and carried it into the dining room.
Picasso and his guests stood there with filled wine glasses in hand. Now they took their seats. Ondine served
langoustines
“Ninon”âshellfish in a leek, butter and orange sauce, with a
chiffonade
of greens topped by a few edible flowers. “Ah!” the men chorused, dropping their napkins in their laps.
Back in the kitchen she became deeply absorbed at the stove with final preparations of the main course. When she re-entered the dining room to collect the empty plates, the men had resumed conversing in that low, businesslike way. Picasso did not look up at her, nor give any indication of what they'd felt about the appetizers. She hurried off to put the dishes in the sink.
“Well, they all ate every bite. They wouldn't do that if they hated it,” Ondine consoled herself. “But these men are connoisseurs of the world's greatest art. They must have highly sophisticated palates, too!” Her fingers were shaking as she put the
cassoulet
and clean dishes on her tray. “Mother of God, give me deliverance!” she said under her breath.
She staggered back to the dining room with her heavy tray. This time, the men stopped talking and glanced up hungrily, their eyes following her every move as she deposited the main course in the center of the table. They continued to watch while she lifted the lid of the pot. More intense silence. Ondine raised her spoon to break the
cassoulet
crust with a ceremonial
crack!
The guests broke into applause. She almost wept with relief, carefully placing each serving before them. Then she stood quietly in the doorway to assess if anything more was needed. Picasso and Cocteau dove in heartily.
Matisse used his spoon to delicately taste the sauce. “Ah.
Superbe!
” he sighed.
“Ondine, vous êtes une vraie artiste.”
She was thrilled. No one had ever called her, or her mother, a “true artist”. From the head of the table Picasso smirked at the foodânot herâwith pride, nodding.
Ondine said,
“Bon appétit,”
before she slipped out to check on dessert. She heard a second bottle of wine open with a loud
pop!
and soon the men's voices rose in volume, boisterously laughing and even shouting.
“Good, they're happy now,” she sighed in relief as she ground the coffee beans.
But when she came into the dining room to collect the empty plates, the atmosphere had changed palpably, with a dangerous tension in the air that made her want to hide like a child behind the sofa in the parlor until the guests had gone home. Already she felt she'd been holding her breath all day.
“You've really got Herr Hitler all wrong,” Cocteau was saying plaintively. “He's a pacifist at heart! And he truly has France's best interests in mind.”
Picasso snorted. “He's got France's best
bridges
in mind for his bombs,” he replied belligerently.
“No, no!” Cocteau insisted unwisely, as if he were confident of words he'd heard repeated a hundred times at other important luncheons. “Hitler loves France. He's a true patron of the arts.”
“It remains to be seen,” Matisse cautioned. “The odds are that we are all on his blacklist.”
Picasso turned to Cocteau with terrifyingly piercing scorn in those coal-black eyes. “You think Hitler will let a âdegenerate' like you keep staging your pretty little films and ballets?” he said tauntingly. “He'll eat you alive for breakfast, and he'll still be hungry before noon.”
Cocteau wore the shocked look of a schoolboy who'd had his knuckles rapped. Picasso saw this, but rather than let his friend off the hook, he pressed on in an even crueler tone, with the look of a bird of prey swooping on a mouse. “But if you, Jean, salute whatever flag the Nazis run up the pole, then perhaps the Führer will keep you for propaganda value, as the Daisy in his buttonhole.”
Ondine caught her breath but managed not to make a sound. Even she knew what it meant when one boy called another one a Daisy, but she kept her expression neutral so that Monsieur Cocteau would not be embarrassed to have a local girl hear this. Quietly she placed her Easter cheesecake pie in the center of the table, wishing she could disappear into thin air. But she had to slice it and serve it.
Matisse broke the silence. “Now, gentlemen,” he said in a soothing but firm tone as she moved around them, “let's not speak of monsters like Hitler today. The world has enough ugliness. Let us turn our thoughts, and our appetites, to the
luxe, calme et volupté
of Ondine's magnificent table.”
Cocteau nodded. Picasso sat like an emperor. Ondine ducked out to make coffee, her nerves jangling. “Today they like my food. Tomorrow, who knows?” For, despite their warrior-like confidence, these artists were ultrasensitive, highly strung creatures whose mercurial moods were tricky to negotiate. She'd hate to have them turn their guns on her. Especially Picasso. He was as relentless as a bullfighter.
Cautiously she re-entered the dining room with her coffeepot. The atmosphere had changed yet again; now the men looked supremely sated from the meal, and they'd produced a secret bottle of
absinthe
while joking about mutual friends. As Ondine moved among them, pouring coffee, she saw Picasso glance at her backside and exchange a look with his guests. Matisse waggled his eyebrows.
They think I'm sleeping with Picasso,
Ondine realized. And furthermore, their host was doing nothing to make them think otherwise.
“Ondine, which one of us do you suppose is the best at kissing?” Picasso asked slyly.
“I'll have to ask your wives,” she answered quickly, and they all laughed uproariously.
Matisse winked at her through his owlish glasses, while Cocteau, fully recovered from tangling with Picasso, lifted one of his long fingers and waved it as if it were a conductor's baton as he sang:
“Belle Ondine, Belle Ondine,
your shoes are all a-shine.
And your flowery dress so fine.”
Ondine giggled, for he had slightly altered the lyrics of a popular dance-hall tune, “Caroline”. The men stomped their feet and clapped as Cocteau finished the song.
But now she was acutely aware that they were sitting at the level of her bosom, their lips just inches away; and she almost felt in peril of being seized by her hips and pulled into a man's lap so he could bury his face in her breasts. This image came so suddenly and graphically that she flushed with shame at having such strange thoughts. She returned to the kitchen, relieved to be alone.
By the time she'd cleaned up and packed her hamper onto her bicycle, the guests were gone, the sun was sinking, and the damp evening air was stealing in from the harbor. Picasso had stepped outside to see off his friends. Now he remained in the front yard, working intently on something, occasionally bending to pick up a stray branch that had fallen; but instead of throwing it away he'd attach it to the other items in his hand by twining it with string.