Authors: Rhoda Belleza
Wings. Moon-white, reflecting the light like ripples on a lake. Long, paper-thin, and translucent, with strong veins running through them. There were wings, like that of a dragonfly, extending out of Ashley. Their grayish silver pattern danced before me, glinting and undulating as they reached their full span. From where I stood, each wing looked to be four feet long from shoulder-blade to tip.
I blinked and blinked again. Turned around to see if anyone was behind me. If this was a reality show gotcha grab, it was brilliant. But I was alone. I turned back to see if a blond, winged woman was still standing by the bus stop on Sullivan Street. There was.
Remember what I said before about not being crazy? Yeah, well, at that second, I felt pretty damn insane.
My lips were dry and my heart was pounding. My feet no longer felt like they were firmly planted on the pavement. I considered simply backing away. But how do you back away from a lady with wings? Um, you don't. Then she whirled around and caught me staring.
“Cera!” She cried out, sounding less alarmed than surprised. “I didn't know you were still here.”
“I, uh, sorry . . . ,” I trailed off, sure that I was seeing things, sure that a trick was being played on me. I half expected someone to pop out of the bushes with a video camera, like they were filming the whole thing to post tonight online.
“I know this may seem strange, but you can come closer,” Ashley said, moving toward me. I felt rooted to the spot, completely in shock. Slowly, I began to realize that this was no trick, at least not a trick of the eye. The woman standing before me was definitely Ashleyâright down to the cakey foundation and bony elbows. And she had real, verifiable, non-costume-shop insect wings sprouting from the spot between her shoulders. She was saying something to me: “Don't be scared.”
I looked over each shoulder three times. Licked my lips. “What's going on?” I asked. “Who are you?”
“Don't ask questions now,” she said, her wings fluttering almost imperceptibly behind her. “I was scared too, at first. You'll understand soon enough.”
Before, Ashley had often appeared pinched, fearful (much like I probably did, at school). But now her wings made her beautifulâand not just because they were stunningâbut
because with them behind her, she appeared stronger, straighter, self-possessed. In charge of herself.
Her left wing leaned toward me slowly, and intuitively I reached out to graze my hand against it. Like a moth's, there was a hoary deposit of dust on its thin surface; when I took my fingers away, they felt velvety against each other.
“What . . . are those?” I asked, my voice coming out in a hoarse staccato.
“They're my defense,” Ashley said, returning my eye contact. “When I want to, I can fly away.” As if to punctuate her point, her wings whirred behind her.
⢠⢠â¢
I had so many questions. The night went by excruciatingly slowly, exacerbated by the fact that Erin bailed on our TV date to hang out with some of her ski-team friends. I was alone, trying desperately to stay composed, dying for the next and final self-defense class. Images of Ashley's wings flickered in my mind as I made my way to my shift at the video store. I rode my bike furiously along Hillsdale's suburban streets, as if the days would pass quicker if I pumped my legs harder.
About an hour before my shift was over, I heard a familiar screech echo through the video store aisle. This was, unmistakably, Anya's flirting mechanism. Imagine, if you will, a boy tickling her or threatening to throw her over his shoulder. Then imagine a fake, piercing, “
Noooooooooooooooooo
,” that begs yes with every added syllable. That's the sound I heard.
Shit. I'd been mercifully free of asshole run-ins this week; some of my tormenters had gone away for Spring Break, and I studiously avoided the typical cool-crowd hangouts like the Riverside bowling alley, Barry's Ice Cream Pavilion, and the Portside beachâplaces I used to go all the time.
But now here they were, waltzing as a pack into Reel Them In. Anya, Lily, Katie, Sean, this jock named Mike, andâdouble shitâBrian. Brian Doyle. I wanted to sink into the floor and duck behind the counter, anything to avoid whatever they had planned. Instead, I pretended to be
very
interested in the Reel Them In computer system.
Chill out
, I told myself.
Maybe they really just want to rent a movie.
No such luck.
“Hey, Cera,” Lily said loudly, “could you point us toward the
lesbo
section?” Cue ridiculous explosions of laughter from the rest of the group. My boss, Pete, looked up quizzically from where he was shelving movies.
“Our GLBT section is over there,” I said, pointing to the far-right corner of the store.
“Figured you would know,” Anya said to more giggles. Brian's face was twisted into a simpering smile.
“Well, I do work here,” I said curtly. “So yeah, I know the sections of the store.”
“Gosh, there's no need to be rude,” Anya said, loudly enough for Pete to hear. “I'm so sorry to have bothered you.” As she sashayed past him, I heard her say something along the lines of “unhelpful.” Terrific. Maybe I would get fired
on top of everything else.
They took forever in the store, taking movies off the shelves and putting them back in the wrong places, opening a box of candy before paying for it, and generally making a scene. Of course they didn't rent anything.
“It was so great to see you,” Katie said drippingly before they finally left. “You should really get outside some more, though. You look like the girl from
The Ring
. Have you seen that movie?” They started to leave, amidst an outburst of hysterics.
“You look like the girl from
Precious
. Have you seen that one?” I called after them. Katie whirled around, speechless. It wasn't like me to fight back. In fact, I kind of shocked myself. Katie glared at me, then she turned on her heel and left.
“If your friends aren't going to rent anything, they can't come in here,” Pete said gruffly once they'd gone. “I don't want them aggravating the other customers.”
“They're not my . . .” I gave up halfway through. “Sorry about that, Pete. Won't happen again.”
⢠⢠â¢
“I hear our veil of secrecy has been lifted,” Diane said with a knowing smile at the start of class that night. I'd gotten there early, practically been bouncing in my seat waiting for the rest of the group to arrive. I was dying to see Ashley again and find out what the hell was going on. Now, every head in the room swiveled to face me. Diana asked the group: “Should we do a demonstration for Cera?”
My palms started to sweat and I felt a little like I was on a boat, bobbing up and down over huge swells. I felt a tingling in my feet, like they were waking up from having fallen asleep. I waited. I knew I was at the edge of something big.
One by one, the women stood up. Here is what I saw:
First there was Gerrie. I watched her lift her arms like she was about to start a yoga session. “Cover your ears,” she warned. Then she emitted a brief, ear-shattering scream that made the rest of us drop to the floor, grimacing. I looked around wildly. What the hell was happening? But everyone else seemed unconcerned. In fact, they looked impressed.
Then Rose stood up, squeezed her eyes shut and clenched her fists, and suddenly her skin appeared to vibrate slightly. When the vibration ceased, Rose's body was covered in armored plates, making her look like a cross between a woman and an armadillo. My mouth hung agape.
When Madeline arose from her seat, needles were already emerging from what looked like goose bumps on her arms and legs. Once they were fully in place, she lifted her leg, pointed her toes toward the far wall, and yelled, “Hah!” As she did, a fistful of needles shot out of her body, puncturing the wall and staying there, quivering. Like arrows. “Jesus hotdamn,” I whispered to no one in particular.
One by one, they revealed their talents. There were feathers, gills, springs implanted into feet. Diane, her auburn hair pulled back from her face, watched with a satisfied expression. She was the last to transform. I saw her feline features become
more angular and defined, and watched as pointed, curved claws sprung from her fingertips. “I can see in the dark, too,” she added proudly.
“You're . . . superheroes,” I said, trying to fit these women into whatever categorization I could think of.
There was a murmur of amusement.
“Kind of,” Diane said, approaching me. I took a step backward, and she retracted her claws. “Let's check back in, ladies,” she said, and I saw the women start to transform back into their normalâallegedly normalâselves.
“How . . . how did you do that?” I stuttered, not directing the question at anyone in particular. “Who
are
you?”
“You're here to learn how to defend yourself,” Diane said, repeating the words from the advertisement. “You're here because you deserve the chance to control your own destiny.”
“Only certain people can see that ad,” Rose piped in. “You newbies saw it because you needed it.”
I glanced around to Gerrie, Madeline, Ashley. “So this is new to you, too?” They nodded, and Madeline offered: “But it happened to us almost immediately, like after the first night. I got my quills two days ago.”
“Do you
use
these powers?” I asked, incredulously. “I mean, you'd think people would know that we have a Catwoman in Hillside. . . .”
“We use them,” Ruth said. “We do. Once you have a power like this, you're always using it. Just not . . . overtly.”
“These skills aren't for showing off,” Diana added. “In fact,
it's practically impossible to flaunt them.”
“So you don't wear your porcupine suit to your kids' show-and-tell day, I get that,” I said, motioning to Madeline. “But how about you, Ashleyâcan your ex see your wings?”
She cocked her head and stared at me, weighing her response. “I think he can see that something is different,” she said. “I'm not the same as I used to be.”
The others nodded. There seemed to be some consensus, and I was starting to understand.
And then, the scariest and most exciting question of them all: “Am I like you?” I looked down at my arms, my legs, half expecting to see scales or fur or lightning bolts. “Do I have . . . something?”
“Of course you do,” Diana said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world that yes, I had some type of nascent magical power. “You wouldn't have seen the ad if you didn't. But it'll come out on its own. We don't rush these things. Usually our strength has emerged by the final sessions, but there are exceptions. You may be one of them.”
She was right. Nothing special emerged that night, or by the final class. And that concluded She-Ra's five-session self-defense course.
⢠⢠â¢
On the Sunday before Spring Break ended, I agreed, uncharacteristically, to go bowling with Erin at the Riverside lanes. The alley was mercifully empty, which left me confident enough to
suggest we ride our bikes to Barry's for milk shakes. Erin was taken aback, but she jumped at the chance. We had a dessert before dinner ritual, and we hadn't gotten to indulge our ice-cream cravingsâor anything that involved emerging from my houseâover the last couple of months.
When we rolled up to the shack, I saw Brian and Matt sitting on the hood of Brian's car. For a moment, I stiffened. But my anxiety lasted for only a second. I didn't ask Erin to leave, and as we ordered, I didn't feel the usual eyes burning into the back of my head. I just pretended the boys weren't there, even when they tried to bait me.
“Hey, Cera, is that your girlfriend?” I heard Matt call out from across the parking lot.
I gave him the finger over my shoulder.
Once sufficiently full on milk shake, we headed back to my place, where we ordered spring rolls and Pad Thai while watching old episodes of
Friends
on DVD. I was dying to tell Erin about the women and their defenses, but I knew I couldn't. At least not yet.
Oh, so guess what? I may have some sort of superpower. . . .
Yeah. Not so much. She'd be having secret meetings with the guidance counselorâif not the nearest mental institutionâby noon tomorrow.
But then, out of the blue, she asked, “What's up with you?” I snapped my head in her direction. Was I being that obvious? Or worse: was I transforming right in front of her? I stole a look down at my hands and body. All clear. Just plain old Cera Asher.
“Nothing's up,” I answered, moving the noodles around on
my plate. A laugh track rang in the background. “I'm fine.”
“I know,” Erin said. “That's kind of why I'm asking. I saw Brian and that cretin friend of his at Barry's. But you didn't even seem to care. You seem calmer. Calmer than usual.”
Huh. I didn't get that one a lot. “Really? I dunno . . . I guess I do feel kind of a bit more at ease.”
“I haven't seen you look over your shoulder once all day.” Erin whirled a strand of auburn hair around her finger. “It's been like hanging out with someone who isn't a paranoid delusional! Quite a change of pace.”