Corps Security: The Series (105 page)

I turned to the closest thing I could find to make me feel alive again—the one and only, Zeke Cooper. He was fun, hilarious, and best of all, a distraction to the mess around me. I’ve never been the type of girl who just hooks up with anyone. I crave stability and love to fall into a man’s bed. But I needed
something
that he was more than willing to give. I knew the score, and I was okay with it. He wasn’t the type of man a girl goes into anything with hoping that she’ll get the white picket fence and the cookie-cutter house. No, he was the type of man a girl goes to when she needs to escape the world around her.

All it took was one night.

And then . . . And then he was taken from everyone.

I never imagined that my stalling to tell him that he would be a father meant that he would never know. I just didn’t know how to tell the king of hook-ups that his one-night stand was about to turn into a lifetime of commitments.

Now my little one’s father is gone.

I never anticipated being a mother. I had a plan. Find a man—a great man, the kind of man who puts you on a pedestal and shows you daily how much he loves you. I wanted the happily ever after that dreams are made of. But more importantly, I knew that I never wanted to raise a child as a single mother. I wanted my children to have the love of both parents.

Sighing deeply, I pull myself off the floor, brushing off the stress of situations I have no control over. What’s the point? It’s not going to bring my baby’s father back.

The second I climb to my feet, I remember who might be able to help me out of this situation.

Maddox.

Last I heard—from Izzy, who’d heard it from Axel when he was talking to Cage—Maddox was back in town for a little while. He’s been gone for a few weeks trying to talk Emmy into coming home. The poor girl has been going through so much after Coop’s murder that I really don’t see how he’s going to be successful. I hope he is though. Even though I don’t know Emmy that well, she is definitely someone I miss having around.

Luckily for me, he has a key to my place. One thing that can be said about this little ‘family’ I’ve come to love: they make sure they have every aspect of each other’s lives covered. It should feel weird that a man I don’t really know all that well has a key to my place, but right now, when all I can think of is getting back into my bed and sleeping for a year, I’m thankful that he does.

It doesn’t take me long to make the trek up to Maddox’s top-floor apartment, but by the time I do, my nerves are flying all over the place. I shouldn’t be nervous, but let’s face it, there isn’t anything about Maddox Locke that isn’t insanely intimidating.

Could be worse. It could be Asher.

I quickly dismiss the thought. Asher is the one man who makes me insane . . . with unleashed desire.

And the worst part? He’s Zeke Cooper’s brother—and the uncle to my unborn child.

We’ve become close over the last few months. I try to keep my lust to a simmer when I’m around him, but he’s just so . . . God, I don’t even know.

He towers over me, probably close to six foot four or so. He isn’t huge like Axel, but there is nothing about him I would call small. No, he is built solid with trim hips and the hottest butt I’ve ever had the pleasure of gawking at.

The part that kills me is that he looks so much like his brother. I know they were close in age, but they could have passed as twins.

Shaking off the thoughts of Asher Cooper, I come to a stop in front of Maddox’s apartment door and give my breathing a chance to calm down.

Just the thought of Asher has my heart rate spiking and my skin feeling flush, which is a testament to how badly I need some attention. I have a feeling that, with my raging hormones, I would start humping his leg if he were around.

Jesus, Chelc, get a freaking grip!

Sighing deeply, I bring my hand up to knock on Maddox’s door. It takes a second and a few more knocks before the door is swung wide and I’m met with the blue-eyed devil of sex appeal himself, Asher Cooper.

Before I can even open my mouth, he’s snarling, “What the hell do you want?”

“Excuse me?” I question, stepping back from the waves of anger that are rolling off of him. My skin starts to tingle, and I just know that I’m missing something here.

Something feels off.

“I said . . . what the hell do you want?” It takes me a second, but when he moves to come towards me, I’m hit with the unmistakable smell of heavy liquor.

Dammit. Not again.

One thing about Asher is that he’s as nice as can be and genuinely a fun guy to be around . . . until he’s drowning his grief in a bottle. Then it’s like he doesn’t even see anything but his pain.

“Uh . . .”

His eyes narrow at my stupid stuttering, and I can tell by his facial expression that, no matter what I say, he’s primed and ready for a fight.

“Not a fucking hard question, Sunshine. What the hell do you want? If it’s anything other than lying on your back and spreading those thighs, then I’m not interested.”

The. Hell?

“Uh . . .”

“I’ve got plenty of this to go around,” he arrogantly states while waving his hand over his crotch. “All you need to do is say the word. I’m all about my ladies having some meat on their bones.”

I can feel my face heat with embarrassment. Yeah, I’m at that awkward stage in my pregnancy where I look like I’ve just had way too much fun at KFC and then went over to the bakery and asked for one of everything. My mind is telling me that he doesn’t mean it, but deep down, it hurts.

“How dare you!” I squeak—yes, squeak.

“What? There isn’t anything to be ashamed of. Your tits though . . . Damn, now those make up for the extra weight.”

It’s like my hand just moves without my permission. One second, I’m ready to go hide in a dark hole, and the next, I’m pissed to the brim. When my hand cracks across his cheek, sending his head to the side and shocking us both, I want to take it back, but in the end, I square my shoulders and wait for him to tear me down again.

When his eyes come back to mine, the shock of my slap taking some of his drunken buzz away, he just looks at me. I can see each of my fingers shining like neon across his tan skin, causing a wave of distress to hit me.

“Did you just slap me?” he asks, clearly confused now that he isn’t stuck on drunken-douche mode.

“You have got issues, Asher. Serious issues. I have no clue what has you jumping back into the bottle, but I deserve a lot more than your crap.” My chest is rising as rapidly as my temper, and all I want to do is take him by the neck and shake the shit out of him.

“I’m sorry?”

“How is it possible for you to forget all that verbal vomit that you just spewed? Well, don’t you worry about it, Ash. When you sober up, maybe then you can come and let the chubby chick know that you’re sorry. All I care about right now is talking to Maddox and finding the spare to my apartment so I can go to bed. I’m tired, and the last thing I want to do is deal with a drunk you.”

“He isn’t here,” he says, still looking at me as if he’s seeing me in some weird light.

“Well, isn’t that just great,” I mumble.

“Hold on. I’ll go get the key.”

He comes back a few seconds later and mutely hands me a key. I don’t even spare him a glance. I snatch the key and walk away. I can feel my emotions getting the best of me, and the last thing I want is to let him know that he’s hurt my feelings.

It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell him exactly what I think of him, but I know he won’t even hear it when he’s this lost.

“Hey, Chelcie?” I hear right when the elevator door opens.

I brush the lone tear from my cheek and turn.

“I’m . . . I’m sorry, okay?”

“Yeah, Asher. So am I.”

I know he doesn’t mean it. Well, hell, maybe he does. But when he’s drunk, he becomes someone I just don’t want to be around.

And I can’t help but wonder if the precarious friendship we have slowly been building was just knocked down because he doesn’t know how to heal from the pain of losing his brother.

CHAPTER 3

Chelcie

It’s been a week since the awkward showdown with Asher. He hasn’t said anything—neither have I. And to be honest, I’m not sure what there is to say. We aren’t best buddies, and at this point, I don’t even know if we’re friends or if I’m just some stupid girl who’s been trying to find a way to tell him about the baby.

Sure, there has always been an underlying attraction that just simmers under the surface. I don’t know if it’s just one-sided on my end, but sometimes I
think
that I can see the same heat I feel towards him burning beneath his sapphire eyes.

“Chelcie, did you hear me?”

I look over at Dee with a frown. “Uh, sorry. I must have spaced out. I haven’t been sleeping well lately.”

Her face softens for a second before her eyes narrow in concern. “And why haven’t you been sleeping well? Is everything okay with the baby?”

“What? Oh, no, the baby is fine. I have my checkup coming in three weeks and we should be able to find out what the gender is,” I sigh. “I’m just in a funk. I had a run-in with a drunk Asher last week.”

Her eyes widen for a second before she lets out a heavy breath.

Yeah, everyone knows what drunk Asher means.

“Was it that bad?”

“Well, let’s see. He called me fat. Basically said he would fuck me even though I was chubby, and then when I went to leave, he acted like he didn’t even know why I was pissed. So, yeah, it was pretty bad. It’s just . . . Now I don’t know how to act.”

“He did what?” she practically shrieks in outrage.

Dee turns in her chair and spins so that she is facing my desk. We’ve been working in her home office all day, catching up on some work that we’ve been putting off. I think at this point though, she is just giving me some things to keep my mind busy. She doesn’t really need me as much now that she closed the North Carolina branch of her insurance company. I think we both know that we’re grasping at straws to keep me working for her.

“I know. It was pretty brutal, but in his defense, he was really drunk. No, not just drunk—he was trashed. He didn’t just reek of alcohol, Dee. He looked like he had gone round for round with a cat and lost.” I smile a little at the memory. He might have been a giant ass, but I felt a little better knowing that he looked like he was feeling the bad end of the barrel. “I have no idea what the hell happened before his . . . whatever that was between us—but he looked terrible, Dee.”

“Chelcie—” she starts.

I hold my hand up before she can continue. I know what’s coming. It’s the same thing that’s been coming since the day I told her I was pregnant with Coop’s baby. The same thing that will continue to come until I grow some lady balls and tell Asher that I’m pregnant with his late brother’s child.

“I know, okay? I know. The longer I wait, the harder it will be for everyone involved. But please tell me how I tell a man who is either drowning in a bottle or sleeping his way through his misery that his brother knocked me up? Huh? Because the first thing he will think is the worst. I just know it. I didn’t ask for this, Dee. I’m thankful that I’ve been given this chance to become a mother . . . but I never asked for this.” I end in a whisper, angrily wiping the few stray tears that roll down my cheeks with the back of my hand.

I don’t want to be that stupid, weak girl who gets all weepy when shit goes wrong. I’m stronger than that. I refuse to be a backseat driver in my own life. I might not have asked for this—hell, I might not have even wanted this option . . . ever—but I will be damned if I lie down and live in self-pity.

“When he isn’t being a jerk, a whore, or a drunk, he really is such an awesome guy. He’s just so lost right now. If I tell him about the baby, he’s either going to freak out or blame me. I just know it.”

Dee looks at me with unconcealed pity. It would anger me, but I know she is coming from the right place. It’s a no-win situation, but it’s my no-win situation. I can’t sit here and bitch about it, hoping for her to fix my problems. No, it’s all on me, and it’s time I man up and do something about it. I can’t move on from this hole I’ve seemed to dig for myself until I start to build the ladder to climb back up.

And that starts and ends with Asher.

“I’m here if you need me, but please tell him soon. I look at him and it’s like looking in the mirror sometimes. He needs something to hold on to, Chelcie. He needs to know that his life is worth more than this misguided path of vengeance and self-destruction.”

I nod my head and make a promise to myself to get Asher alone—and sober—and finally let him know about the baby.

* * *

Why am I doing this?
I wonder, looking at my reflection in the mirror for the ten thousandth time.

It’s Saturday night, and for some ungodly reason, I let Dee talk me into going on a blind date. Why she thinks I should be dating being almost four months pregnant is beyond me. No man is going to look at all of this lovely baggage I’m carrying around and think that this is a sure bet.

The phone starts ringing right when I finish applying the last of my makeup. After making my way down the short hallway and into the living/dining room of my apartment, I quickly grab the phone before it rolls over to voicemail.

“Hello?”

“Hey, you! Are you excited for your date tonight?” Dee’s voice comes through the phone thick with excitement.

“Uh, no. You know I don’t want to be doing this, Dee. I don’t see the point. It’s not like I can hide the fact that I’m pregnant if I plan on seeing him again. I would feel dishonest
not
telling him.”

She pauses for a second. “It doesn’t have to be the focus of your date, Chelc. Just because you’re about to have a perfect little bundle of love doesn’t mean that defines your life. You deserve to be happy too. I know you don’t want to go out with Nikolas tonight, but he’s really a nice guy. Who knows? You might hit it off, and then you can thank me at your wedding.” She snickers when she finishes, and I can just picture her laughing at herself.

Ever since Dee and Beck worked out their issues—and boy, there were some heavy issues—she’s gone from being lukewarm about relationships to being a walking, talking advocate. She’s happy, so she wants everyone else around her to feel the same happiness and love that she does.