Counting on Love (Contemporary Cowboy Romance) (Carson Hill Ranch series: Book 3) (3 page)

Joseph paced back and forth in the cool dark of the stable, his own horse, Brandy, standing saddled and bridled, waiting patiently for its rider to make up his mind. Every time he approached the eager horse, he stepped back, knowing that even climbing up in the saddle would be enough to send agonizing spasms running down his back. Worse was the feeling of failure that ate at him for being such a coward.

He watched as his horse turned its massive head to look at him, and he swore he could see disappointment on the animal’s face. She had been just as frustrated, tied up, and cabin feverish as he had been through this whole time, and it showed in the impatient way she stomped and pawed at the dirt-covered floor of the stable. Even worse, she was saddled and ready to go, but now stood there confused while she waited for Joseph to make up his mind about riding.

Here goes nothing,
Joseph thought to himself, already certain that this was a really dumb idea. He placed his booted left foot in the stirrup, wincing at the feeling of his unused muscles stretching for the first time in weeks, then gripped the saddle horn and the rear of his saddle, ready to hoist himself up. But instead of gliding over the horse’s flank and positioning himself over the saddle, a sudden pain tearing through his shoulder blades made even his fingers lock, sending him falling to the ground where he landed flat on his back.

His agonized screams brought his two youngest brothers running from their chore of mucking stalls on the other side of the barn. Seamus and Jacob came around the side of the stable at a full run, skidding to a stop at the sight of their brother on the ground beneath his horse. They rushed to his side and dropped to the ground next to him, afraid to touch him.

Joseph’s breath came in rapid, short gasps as his face contorted in pain. He writhed briefly, but even that motion made it worse.

“What do we do, Josey?” Seamus whispered, using the nickname the brothers had given each other years before when they would beat each other at wrestling games. It didn’t stop Jacob from slapping at his upper arm, a disgusted look on his face when Seamus called him by a girl’s name.

Joseph didn’t answer right away, but finally stilled by forcing himself to take long, slow breaths. His eyes stayed tightly shut, though, alarming the twins. They exchanged worried looks while they waited for Joseph to be able to speak.

“Joseph, can you tell us what happened yet?” Jacob asked. “Did you fall off the horse again?” He shook his head from side to side, finally moving his hand up to grab futilely at his shoulder. “Can you sit up?”

Together, the twins helped Joseph sit up, waiting with their arms out in case he fell backward. “What were you trying to do?” Seamus asked, eyeing the horse as if it should be obvious, but not sure what it was about just getting on the animal that would have landed Joseph on the ground.

When Joseph could stand, the twins helped him to his feet and out of the barn, Seamus calling to a nearby hand to unsaddle Joseph’s horse. They got him to the main house with great effort, and with even more energy and some small amount of screaming, got him up the stairs and into bed. They eyed each other warily when Joseph rooted in the drawer next to his bed for his small, brownish bottle of pills. It was no secret that their father was cutting him off but after what they’d just witnessed of Joseph’s pain, they weren’t going to say anything.

Joseph lay quietly on the bed, his eyes wide as he stared at the ceiling, waiting for the pills to take effect. Seamus slipped out quietly but Jacob stayed behind, waiting with Joseph until he could finally fall asleep.

“Joseph, you have to talk to Dad about this,” Jacob said softly. “You can’t keep going on like this.”

Joseph only nodded before turning his face to the wall, closing his eyes as he waited to stop hurting. The pills couldn’t take the pain away, but at least they could make him sleep through it. Finally, Jacob slipped out of the room, too, back to work, back to doing all the things that Joseph missed about the ranch, even something as simple as cleaning out stalls.

Seamus had waited for his twin on the landing outside Joseph’s room. Jacob startled when he turned around, closing the door behind him, only to find Seamus ready to pounce. “Jacob, we have to say something this time…
now
.”

“I don’t know, Seamus, I hate running to Dad like little kids tattling on each other,” Jacob answered, looking sheepish but uncertain.

“That’s exactly why we have to say something. This isn’t like we caught him sneaking out of the bedroom window to go meet up with some girl. This is serious business. He can’t even walk from the house to the barn, and then we find him sprawled out there on the floor like he’s broken his neck or something. Then the pills on top of it? Come on, Jacob! We can’t just keep this to ourselves.”

“I don’t know,” Jacob hedged, his resolve crumbling under Seamus’ persuasive argument. Finally, he nodded, and they went downstairs together. They peeked in Bernard’s office to find him on the phone, but the looks on their faces must have spoken volumes. He waved them in and gestured to the sofa to wait for him to finish. Jacob closed the door before they sat, keeping this one piece of family business from the prying eyes of others.

“Gracie, climb down from there, Casey and I want to talk to you!” Miranda called up to where her sister was known to hide. The hayloft had been the perfect spot for her to hide away and read now that the weather had taken a sharp dip. She had been known to spend her entire lunch break in the loft, hiding from the abundance of smelly boys on the ranch with a sandwich and her eBooks.
Thank God for satellite Internet
, Miranda thought with relief.
Or that girl wouldn’t have any kind of entertainment out here
.

“Coming!” Gracie’s muffled voice echoed from somewhere above their heads. They smiled when they heard the scampering thud of her boots against the planks overhead, meaning she was running to see what they wanted.

Miranda’s heart soared at the sound of her sister’s happy voice and eager movements. Bringing her to the ranch had been a huge disruption in the girl’s life, taking her half way across the country, away from school and her friends. But Miranda’s expression clouded for a fraction of a second when she also remembered that she had taken her away from the man who had almost succeeded in destroying her.

“What’s up, guys?” Gracie asked, her head appearing in the square hole that let the hay bales drop down.

“All the way,” Miranda said with a laugh. “I feel like I’m talking to a disembodied head when you pop up like that!”

Gracie grinned and disappeared for a moment, then her feet emerged from the hole. She climbed nimbly down the wide wooden rungs that led up into the loft, jumping down the last few rungs and landing breathlessly in front of her sister and brother-in-law.

“Okay.
Now
what’s up?” she teased.

“Well, besides the color in your cheeks, you mean?” Miranda scolded playfully. “Remember, it gets really cold up there at this time of year. You promised you would come down before it got to the coldest part of the day.”

“I know, I just lost track of time. But I had my big blanket, and a big thermos of hot chocolate Emily fixed me. By the way, I love that series you told me about, Casey!”

He smiled down at her. “I’m really glad, but you’ll have to thank Anders. He’s the one who told me about it. I didn’t know how it would go over since it’s an action story, and I’ve never read them.”

“What?! You’ve never read the Treewalker Saga?” Gracie shrieked playfully, clutching the sides of her head in mock disbelief before turning on a serious expression. “I mean, I understand completely. After all, there are lots of big words, no illustrations, and no coloring pages in the back.”

Casey shot her a smirk, then suddenly lunged at her, grabbing her in a bear hug and pinning her arms to her sides before commencing a full-on tickle attack. She pushed feebly at him with her trapped hands, screaming through her hilarious laugh for Miranda to help her.

“Do something! Call off your dog! I mean, your husband!” she screamed, as tears of laughter rolled down her cheeks.

“Oh, no, I’m not involved in this. You started it, you can finish it,” Miranda answered, crossing her arms in front of her chest and glaring adoringly at her sister. She would give it another thirty seconds and then step in, of course. Gracie needed air and they really had called her down with important news. “Well, okay, I’ll play referee just this once. If you really want me to, that is.”

“YES!” her sister screamed between deep gasps for air while still trying to wriggle out of Casey’s strong grasp.

“Really? Because you look like you’re having fun, and weren’t you telling me just two weeks ago how there’s nothing to do here and how you need friends to play with? I mean, you look like you’re not all that bored right now…”

“MIRANDA! Make him stop!” Gracie screamed again, laughing at the onslaught and her sister’s obvious enjoyment of her torture.

“Okay. If you want me to…that’s enough, Casey.” Miranda smiled benevolently, as though she had done her sister a tremendous favor. Gracie smacked at Casey’s shoulders in retaliation, knowing that nothing she could dish out could match the punishment he just dealt through tickling.

When Gracie had managed to catch her breath and stopped glaring evilly at her brother-in-law, Miranda shared the news. “We’re taking a trip to Dallas in about a week, and we thought you might want to come along. We could do some Christmas shopping, see a movie or three, eat something that wasn’t grown right here in the barn, you know…city stuff!”

The word “we” wasn’t lost on Gracie, and her face fell slightly. She would love to get out and be around typical people for a while, even if it was only for a few days, but she didn’t want to interfere if her sister and Casey had newlywed plans. Even worse, she didn’t want to be invited out of pity.

“We? As in, you and Casey?” she asked hesitantly.

“Are you kidding me?” Casey demanded playfully. “Like I would go ten feet with the two of you without another man around for my own protection. If it was left up to you two, you guys would pin me down and make me wear skinny jeans and a tank top and put gel in my hair!” Both girls laughed at the image of Casey dressed up in town like a club-hopping metrosexual, but laughed even harder at the truth behind his biggest fear.

“No, Gracie, there are a few of us going. Bernard and Casey are taking Joseph to see a specialist about his back. Because Joseph needs to ride in a more comfortable vehicle, they’re taking the large RV, which means there will be plenty of room for you and me. I thought we could do a few things in the city while they handle Joseph’s appointments. Sound fun?”

Gracie jumped up and down, clapping her hands together in her excitement. “Absolutely! When do we leave?”

“Whoa, little sis, we have to get the appointments set up and everything. Joseph will need to be scheduled for certain tests, so those have to be arranged, too. Miranda and I just wanted to let you know about the trip and see if you wanted to go with us.”

“Of course! And the next Treewalker book comes out next Thursday, maybe we’ll be in Dallas in time to buy it!” She dropped her eyes, a guilty look on her face. “I’m sorry. I mean, the important thing is Joseph, of course. I didn’t mean that some dumb book is more important…”

Casey grabbed her again but this time, it was to give her a tight, reassuring hug. “We know what you meant, kiddo, and don’t worry about it. You’re allowed to be excited about getting away from cows for a while! And Joseph’s gonna be fine. This trip will be good for him, and maybe we’ll finally get him back up and walking around, good as new.”

Gracie thanked them and pulled away to run to the house for lunch. Casey and Miranda followed at a leisurely pace, walking with their arms around each other’s waists.

“Thanks for making her feel like a part of the family, Casey,” Miranda whispered before kissing him just beneath his ear. Casey tightened his grip on her and pulled her closer for a real kiss, one that lingered far longer than usual, before furrowing his brow and answering her.

“She is part of the family, honey. I don’t need to go out of my way to prove that. You two came into our lives and made a great life even better. You two made it perfect. I know the others feel that way, too. She’s our very own sister, just like she’d been born to us. Just like…” Casey left his sentence hanging, remembering the little sister they’d almost had. He cleared his throat briefly, and Miranda waited silently. “You know, she’s almost the same age now that our sister would have been. Just a few years older. We missed everything about watching her grow up, and it feels like you two just fell right into our lives. I only hope she feels the same way.”

“Well, I hope so, too, for Joseph’s sake. If this is going to work out, we’re going to need those two to become even better friends.” Miranda searched Casey’s eyes for some sign that he had any doubts, but he met her gaze with an even, confident look before kissing her firmly on the lips.

“It’s gonna work. It has to,” he said, his own confidence failing him for the moment.

Dear Tommy and Jennie,

I want to tell you thanks for everything you’ve done for me. You are the kindest people anyone could ever meet. Anyone else would have turned me away after finding out about me and the things I’ve done, but you didn’t. You gave me a job and a place to live when I really needed them, but more importantly, you were people who cared about me when you didn’t have to.

And that’s why I have to leave. You’re good, honest people, and you don’t need anyone coming in here causing you problems like the other night. I would never do anything to hurt you after all the help you’ve given me, so it’s for the best that I go.

Thank you for everything, and good luck with the restaurant.

--Emma

Emma placed the letter in the envelope, sealed it, and stared at it for a long time before gathering her backpack and duffel bag and heading downstairs. She left her things outside the back door by the kitchen, then propped the letter up in the groove where food tickets would be lined so Jennie would be sure to find it before the lunch crowd became too big. She wiped the last of the tears from her eyes, then slipped out the back door when Tommy and Jennie were busy with the weekly food delivery.

She had planned it out carefully, almost immediately after the incident in the bar. Emma remembered the easy to find route to the Carson Hill Ranch, even if the only time she’d ever walked it was in a moment of fearful desperation. From there, it was just a matter of staying out of sight and making her way to the small cabin where she and Dee had gotten clean. She would stay there for a few weeks and do some thinking, deciding what her next move would be.

She started walking along the sun-baked tire ruts that pointed east, knowing she had a full day’s walk ahead of her and even then, that was just to sneak up to the main property. Surely a ranch that size would have plenty of places to hide for a night or two, then she could cut out for the cabin.

As she walked, Emma scouted out places to hide in the tall grasses alongside the makeshift and weather beaten road, just in case anyone from the ranch should come driving up. She didn’t love the thought of surprising a snake or some other ground dweller, but she’d take her chances with the wildlife if it would get her to her destination with her secrecy still intact.

****

“Tommy! Tommy, get in here! Quick!” Jennie screamed. Instead of waiting for her husband, she threw herself through the swinging door leading from the kitchen to the main dining room, colliding painfully with Tommy in the process.

“What the hell, Jennie? What’s the matter with you?” he bellowed, rubbing the red spot on his forehead where the heavy door had made contact.

“This!” Jennie cried, thrusting the opened letter at him, unconcerned about his injuries for the time being. “She’s gone, Tommy!” Tears had already begun forming in her eyes, but the look of pained disbelief on her husband’s face as his eyes scoured the note were enough to send them down her cheeks, making small rivers in her makeup.

“But, why?” he asked, looking to Jennie for understanding. “I mean, sure, I know about that guy and all, but why did she have to leave? He’s the one who did something wrong!”

“Oh, God, Tommy, where do you think she went? The poor kid, that poor, poor girl…” Jennie’s voice trailed off as she began to sob, clutching at the counter top for support. Tommy patted her back methodically, a blank expression on his face.

“I don’t know, hun, but we can ask around, see if maybe she knows people who will help her. Right? She’s gonna be okay, I know it.” Jennie turned toward her husband and let him pull her into his arms, burying her face in his shoulder as she cried for Emma.

****

Emma walked most of the day, putting as much distance as she could between the town of Hale and her fragile body and even more fragile soul. She couldn’t figure out why she ever thought she could make it work. No one was ever going to let her forget who she was, a fact that had been true since she was a little girl. The whole reason she’d ended up in the hell that was Mack’s prison in the first place was because she’d been trying to outrun who she was back in Michigan.

Back home, her last name was synonymous with everything bad in the world. Her own parents had never married, mostly because her mom was fifteen when Emma had been conceived, and by the time she actually appeared, her father—such as he was—was serving four years in the state prison for his third drug trafficking conviction.

Not one to ever be confused with the term “good behavior”, Emma’s dad had served the full four years, plus an additional eight months for assaulting an inmate while locked up. The day this man appeared on the concrete steps that led up to her mom’s trailer, claiming to be her father, was a day she would never forget. It was the first serious beating she could ever remember, which she earned for kicking and crying when this stranger tried to pick her up. He had driven off in a rage at his own child for not recognizing him, the spray of gravel hitting her as his wheels spun out. With her mother’s chances of latching onto a man who at least made an income destroyed, it was several days before Emma could bend her legs without cracking the zig-zagged scabs that ran in lightning patterns down her legs.

From then on, her entire life had been one constant reminder that she was to blame for the situation they were in. Whether it was waking up to find yet another of her mom’s drunken temporary boyfriends pawing at her in her bed, or having to eat cold, shoplifted Vienna sausages straight out of the can because her mother sold their food stamps, her clan of trashy relatives repeated the mantra to her almost daily that she was to blame for them not having anything.

I’ve been far worse off than this,
she thought to herself sadly.
At least this mess is one of my own doing for once.

Hours later, as the sun began to touch the treetops in the distance, the ring of lights from the main house began to cast a glow in the distance. Emma could easily sleep under her blanket close to the back of one of the smaller outbuildings, and still be up in time to move on before anyone noticed her.

When she finally reached the first large building set back from the family home, she recognized the smaller of the two barn-like buildings immediately. Rather than settling in behind a dwelling like she’d originally intended, Emma had a new plan. She ducked inside a large, open sliding door and immediately climbed the ladder fixed against the wall to her right. She knew from movies that this would lead her to a hay loft, and other than a few mice, she shouldn’t have anyone sneaking up on her.

Emma settled against some hay in the darkened loft before rooting in her backpack for a small bite from her carefully rationed food. She drank deeply from her water bottle, knowing that she would pass the creek in the morning on her way to the cabin. What she hadn’t bargained for was the visitor, and not the four-legged kind.

“What are you doing up here?” a young girl’s voice called from across the loft, jolting Emma from a premature but well deserved sound sleep. Emma sat bolt upright, forgetting for a few seconds where she was but remembering it all too soon.

“Oh, my God, I’m sorry. I just needed to…I’ll leave, just please don’t say anything.” Emma began frantically gathering up her things, shoving the few items she’d taken out down in her bag haphazardly. She stood up to go and had almost made it past Gracie when the younger girl reached out a hand, putting it gently on Emma’s elbow to stop her.

“Wait, you’re one of the girls who lived in the cabin, aren’t you?” she asked softly. Emma met her gaze with a fearful look in her eyes, but saw something close to compassion from Gracie. Emma nodded without saying a word. “But why are you here? Bernard said everything was arranged for you to live in town. Some couple opened a business, or something like that?” Gracie suddenly grew angry. “Were they mean to you? Did they hurt you?”

“Oh, no! Nothing like that,” Emma protested immediately. “But there were other people who just wouldn’t let it go and let me move on. I had to get out of there before…anyone was hurt.”

“So you came here?” Gracie asked, confused. Emma nodded again.

“I didn’t have anywhere else to go, but I couldn’t stay in Hale. It’s not just the people,” she said, her voice dropping to a frightened whisper. “It’s what happened there. Everywhere I looked, I remembered seeing it before, but when I was high. It was like I was seeing it all over again with different eyes, and everything made me think about drugs. So I thought I would go to the cabin where I got the drugs out of my system. I thought, if no one was living there, I could just hide out there until I figure out what I’m going to do.”

“But you’ll be all alone out there, and you’re still really far away. Why don’t you stay here?” Gracie suggested, the thought already taking root in her mind and causing an excited smile to light up her face. “I can come up and check on you, bring you stuff, you know…look out for you!”

Emma didn’t look as convinced. “But what if someone finds me up here?”

“You’re not breaking the law, silly! You’re not a runaway or anything. Besides, I gave you permission to be up here, so you’re not even trespassing! Please say you’ll stay. I’d love to have someone to talk to, but I’d also love to know that you’re nearby if you needed something, and not half way across the ranch in a little shack by yourself.”

The more Gracie explained it, the more easily convinced Emma became. What had she been thinking? That she would hole up in the “shack” as the girl had called it, and then all of her problems would be solved? She slowly nodded her again but this time, she smiled a welcome smile of relief.

“Thank you so much…um…I don’t know your name,” Emma said apologetically.

“I’m Gracie. And I never knew your name, either. I only saw you and your friend for a little while as we were getting ready for the drive.”

“I’m Emma. The other girl was Dee, but she’s gone back home to her family.”

“And you don’t have a home?” Gracie asked pointedly, in a way that only a thirteen-year-old girl could without sounding nosy or rude. Emma shook her head, biting her lip nervously and hoping there weren’t going to be any more questions about that.

“Well, Emma, I’m really glad you’re here. Let me go get you some blankets and stuff, and I’ll bring you something to eat. Oh, I almost forgot. I came up here to get my book,” she explained, pointing to the e-reader still perched on a hay bale. “Do you want something to read? I have a few magazines, you know, celebrity stuff, and I have a few books. Mostly I read on this so I can just download stuff.”

“Whatever you have would be just great, but don’t go to any trouble for me,” Emma replied, genuinely touched and very concerned about getting this nice girl in trouble.

“It’s no problem! I’ll be back in a little while,” Gracie told her with a reassuring look, then turned and headed down the ladder. Emma looked around the loft, darkened now that Gracie’s flashlight had left with her, and sat back down on the hay to wait.