Courtly Love (3 page)

* * *

The great hall was filled with the smell of roasting meat and the sound of the knights' ribald laughter as they speculated about Gyles's future wife.

"I've heard she's little more than a mite." One grizzled veteran laughed, and at Gyles's silence and raised eyebrows he continued. "White as linen, too, one of those fine ladies who are afraid the sun might damage their precious skin. All in all, she doesn't sound like a tasty morsel for you." The surrounding men laughed in agreement as Gyles's preference in women was well known among his men, but one by one the laughter died in their throats.

Serena waited at the bottom of the stairs, her head held high upon the delicate column of her throat as she fixed the source of the jest with an unwavering stare. Her pale blue gown clung to the unmistakable curves of her body and accented the creamy texture of her skin. Serena's blue eyes shot sparks at the man as she advanced to the table.

"Pray go on with your story, sir knight, I am sure you had not reached the most interesting part." Although the words were sweetly spoken there was a challenge in Serena's tone and the man reddened and dropped his eyes to the table. A teasing grin played at the comers of Serena's mouth. "Ah, my good knight, did your mother never warn you that a tiny dog will leave the largest bite? But rest assured, if you are as brave with your sword as with your words, I shall never fear for my protection here at Camden."

The circle of men guffawed loudly and the abashed knight—Serena learned later his name was Edward— loudest of all; at that moment pledging silently to protect the tiny mistress from any harm.

" Tis your plan to win the loyalty of my knights with your womanly charms, Serena?" Gyles's eyes had turned cloudy in his anger and Serena shrank inwardly. "Beware then, for not all men are easy victims to a pair of swaying hips and rounded breasts."

Serena's eyes widened in astonishment. "M'lord, you do me a great injustice! I seek no one's loyalty or love, for that must be freely given or it means naught. 'Twas not my wish to marry you, for that was taken out of my hands, but I wish only to make the best of the arrangement. So you beware, m'lord, for not all women fall at the feet of an arrogant, strutting stallion!" Serena whirled from him to cross the hall and stand between Bryan and Richard, her color high and her temper flaring.

She had left his side so quickly that Gyles had no time to give voice to the sarcastic reply that was on his tongue. Serena was not the insipid creature Beda had led him to believe; she had pride, a temper, and a cutting edge to her tongue. Somewhere in the back of Gyles's mind a warning rang out that his wife would not allow herself to be used as a mindless pawn. Even now her back was presented to him, and Gyles watched as she tossed off a goblet of wine without a pause. Gyles smiled inwardly; Beda had planned to retain control of the household after his marriage, but he had the feeling little Serena would change that if she had a mind to.

"Serena, what happened? Gyles looks like he's ready to run someone through." Richard studied her angry face. "Did he insult you?" Richard's hand dropped to his sword.

"Oh, for God's sake, Richard, don't be stupid! What are you planning to do, challenge him? He'd cut you down in a trice and then sit down to his meal. Ah, this whole situation is impossible!" Serena's knuckles whitened around the goblet.

"Serena," Richard murmured as he drew her free hand to his lips. "Let me—"

"Stop it, Lord Gyles is coming." Bryan deftly removed Serena's hand from Richard's. "I've no desire to see my sister made a widow before she's a wife, nor to lose my best friend. Serena, behave yourself," Bryan warned and then both he and Richard were gone.

Serena's eyes narrowed wickedly, but she kept her back defiantly turned to Gyles's approach. She sensed his presence behind her and knew her defiance served only to anger him further, but she needed time to compose herself. If he hoped to make a fool of her before his household and guests, he would be mistaken. Serena drew a deep breath; her temper was now under control and she would show Gyles just how sweet and charming she could be if it killed her! What Serena didn't see was the possessive look in Gyles's green eyes as he watched the retreating back of her one-time suitor.

"If you are ready, Serena, it has been a long day for my men and their hunger is great." Gyles looked down and his gaze was immediately trapped by soft blue eyes. He became suddenly aware of Serena, the gentle curves of her body, the creamy texture of her skin, the subtle fragrance that assailed his senses with more force than a battering ram.

"But of course, m'lord," Serena said demurely. "How thoughtless of me to delay the festivities." She offered her hand. "Will you lead me to sup, m'lord? I should like to learn more about your family and household lest in my ignorance I offend." Serena slanted a glance at Gyles from beneath her lush brown lashes as she glided by his side.

"Hah!" Gyles barked as he handed her into a chair. 'I've no doubt, Serena, that you care not whom you offend."

Serena pouted. "Surely, m'lord, you mistake me for someone else? Beda perhaps!" The last had a slightly malicious note, as Serena had already felt the bite of Beda's tongue when they met. She turned from him and bent her attention to Richard who had managed to seat himself beside her.

The meal did little to improve Gyles's spirits, as he was caught between Beda's mocking looks and the fact that Serena ignored him completely in favor of the Saxon. When the last of the meal was cleared away, Gyles realized that Serena was no longer at his side but had wandered with Richard and Bryan to examine the weapons that decorated one wall. He watched with rising ire as first one, then another, and then another of his knights began to flock to her like moths to a flame, and soon he could hear her gentle laughter bubbling over their heads.

"Your bride is most charming, Gyles. Aren't you going to fight your way to her side to win her favor?" Beda's voice was a silken purr as she watched him closely.

"She could charm the skin from a snake," Gyles muttered. "I've no intention of joining her retinue; what's one man more or less to a woman of her kind."

"Poor Richard, I fear he may never get over his loss." Aurelia's voice was a duplicate of her sister's. "Have you noticed, Lord Gyles, how he hangs on her every word? I warned my dear husband many times of the danger of allowing those two easy access to each other, but Serena has always managed to have her way. Why, she even swore to Geoffrey that Richard had done no more than kiss her. Of course, I never believed her."

Gyles ignored the two women's innuendos, concentrating instead on watching Serena and Richard. Richard's bright golden head bent often to Serena, yet as far as Gyles could tell they exchanged no yearning glances. Richard treated her with the respect she was due; and while it was plain to see they held each other in tender regard, neither acted with an intimacy born of sharing a bed. So Serena was an innocent, ignorant of a man's touch and body; and he, Gyles, who had privately sworn never to marry, would soon take her to wife. His finger absently traced the scar on his face as he watched the sparkling creature across the room. As if she sensed his scrutiny, Serena's eyes found him and she stood rooted to the spot, unable to move or speak as those brilliant green eyes impaled her while Gyles walked slowly toward her.

" Tis time you were abed, Serena," Gyles mocked. "For I wish you well rested for tomorrow. I vow you will get little sleep tomorrow night."

Serena's eyes flashed but she had no time to retort because Gyles was already propelling her up the steps to her bedchamber. He stopped outside her door but made no move to release her, only tightened his already painful grasp on her wrist.

"There was no need to be so crude, m'lord. If you felt I acted improperly there are other ways to remove me from a situation such as that. And would you mind releasing my arm before you break it!"

Gyles complied immediately and with such force that Serena fell against the door. Gyles raised his hands to the wood on either side of her, his look cold and bone-chilling.

"I ought to break your neck for the way you've behaved. Now listen well and remember: This castle is mine, these lands are mine, and you are mine!! You belong to me—or you will tomorrow—and no one else! Do you understand?"

"I don't belong to you! I'm not a possession! I—"

Gyles's large hands came down on her shoulders with bruising force, and he shook her so hard that Serena's vision blurred. "Do you understand?" Gyles bellowed.

"Y-yes," she stuttered, suddenly afraid of the look in his eyes.

"Good." Gyles released her and opened the door to her chambers. "Sleep well, Serena."

Serena slammed the door behind her, with as much force as she could muster, and as an afterthought she petulantly dropped the bolt as well. The audacity of the man. Possession indeed! He grew more arrogant by the minute. Serena pulled off her gown and jerked the ribbons from her hair. She stood before the fire clad only in her shift and began to comb the tangles from the gleaming brown and gold mass. Reluctantly she admitted that perhaps she had forced Gyles too far with her outrageous flirting tonight, but there was something in his manner that caused her temper to flare the minute he appeared. Besides, he had no kind words to spare for her either. All of his attention was bent upon the Lady Beda. Serena slipped into the bed and stared into the flickering shadows on the wall. This would be the last night she slept alone, probably for a very long time, because Gyles would no doubt expect her to produce as many sons as she was capable. Serena drifted into a restless sleep that was tormented by a pair of green eyes and a face that bore a wicked scar, while across the castle the occupants of two adjoining rooms were wide awake.

Gyles rose from the bed—magnificent in his nakedness—and stood before the fire. He could feel Beda's gaze on him like a living thing; predatory in its nature, always demanding more and more and yet never satisfied.

"Which chamber have you chosen, Beda? Twould not do for me to stumble blindly around the women's quarters in search of you."

"My dear Gyles, I have no intention of moving to another chamber. Let Serena keep Lydia and Mara company, for I have no desire to do so. I have occupied the same room since I came here as a bride and it is still mine as I am Lady Beda of Camden."

"Only until the vows are spoken tomorrow," Gyles stated softly. "I doubt my new wife would take kindly to our having an adjoining chamber, although it would be easier on me. At least I wouldn't have to prowl the castle as I ran from one bed to the other. By the way, does my wife come first, or were you planning to alternate nights?"

Beda had left the bed but now paused on her way to her chamber. "Really, Gyles, at times such as these your lack of breeding does show. You really are quite vulgar—and common."

Gyles shrugged and returned to his bed, wrinkling his nose in disgust as he found Beda's perfume still lingered on the pillow. What a trial. Beset by Beda on one side and Serena on the other, the only bright spot in his life right now was Alan. At the age of three the boy enjoyed tagging along behind his father, constantly asking questions: "Why?" and "What's that?". Just wait until Serena discovered his illegitimate son! That would send her into a rage. She really should have been allowed to marry Richard, Gyles mused. At least they seemed to get along with one another. Good God, what did he need a wife for, anyway. How had he allowed himself to become so entangled in Beda's web? There had to be some solution to these problems; his own ego would not allow him to be treated as if he were a stallion put out to stud, his only worth to be found in his body. Gyles would not allow himself to be used in that manner.

* * *

Her wedding day dawned dull and overcast, with the sun only occasionally breaking through grey clouds. Serena's spirits sank even deeper; she nervously paced her chamber. Pausing to smooth her gown or pat her hair she waited to descend to the guests gathered below. At intervals she alternately raged at her fate or meekly accepted it, and this inner conflict showed on her face. Serena's brows were drawn into a frown and her lips curved downward in sullen resignation. Nellwyn entered and found her young mistress gazing at the fire, while one dainty foot beat a steady tattoo on the stone floor.

"Well, lamb, 'tis time. They all be waiting for ye down below, and yer husband has a most anxious look about him. No doubt he'll keep ye with babe for many years to come, and I'll have me hands full raising yer wee ones. Best thing for ye, lamb, 'twill put an end to yer wild and boyish ways, so ye'll be forced to act like a young lady should."

"Perhaps he will be incapable of giving me children. How then will you earn your keep, Nellwyn?" Serena retorted.

The nurse shot her mistress a sideways glance. "Aye, I think he'll give ye many babes, Serena. He has the look about him. Now come, they all be waiting."

It was all Serena could do not to turn and run when she entered the great hall and saw Gyles calmly accepting the congratulations of the wedding guests. When he saw her he dared to grin at her in that superior manner that made her want to slap his handsome, arrogant face. But as she remembered his harsh words about her being one of his possessions, Serena raised her chin a notch in determination. Very well, she could be just as charming and nonchalant as he! Obviously the marriage meant little or nothing to him the way he was flirting with Beda. His own sister-in-law! That was too much! Serena made her way to Gyles and slipped between him and Beda before either of them could protest. Beda gave Serena a look that could have killed her and Gyles's eyes grew quite cold until they looked like polished green stones. Serena ignored him and focused instead on Beda.

"You will excuse us, will you not? Bryan wishes to share a bit of wine with us before the ceremony." Serena's voice was quite sweet, but her eyes shot daggers at Beda who turned and stamped off. Serena watched with satisfaction.

"Ah, Serena, are you jealous of me already? I had not thought so by your actions last night." Gyles mocked her.

Serena gave him her most dazzling smile as she tucked her hand through his arm. "I assure you, m'lord, I care not with whom you dally, but not on my wedding day. Today you will play the part of a loving, devoted husband or I shall make such a scene as you have never witnessed, I promise!"

Gyles's scar showed white against the rest of his face. "I see. And you?"

Serena laughed softly. "But I am your most loving and devoted wife, have I not told you so? I see I have not; then allow me to show you." She raised herself on tiptoes and pulled Gyles's face down to hers to place a gentle kiss upon his lips. "I see my kiss displeases you, m'lord, but you must understand I have had little experience. Will you teach me later, m'lord?"

Something flared in Gyles's eyes and he growled, "No, Serena, by God I shall teach you now!" His arms went around her as he pulled Serena's delicate form from the floor into a crushing Embrace. Gyles's lips burned against hers and she gasped when his tongue forced its way into her mouth, but try as she would, Serena could not escape the painful hold Gyles had on her. Then, suddenly, she stopped struggling and instead lay passively against Gyles's hard body and let him do as he pleased; while into the back of her mind crept the thought that the kiss would be even more enjoyable if she responded. But before she could, Gyles loosed his arms and deposited Serena back on the floor, realizing that if he continued he would not be able to face his guests for some time. But while Gyles's face showed no emotion to reflect his thoughts, Serena stood gazing up at him, her face slightly flushed, her eyes soft and hazy. She felt dizzy and breathless; what had happened to her? Richard's kisses had never affected her like this, but then Richard had never dared to kiss her in this manner, either. Of a sudden, Serena was aware that the hall had quieted and all eyes were focused on them. Her color heightened all the more.

Gyles grinned mockingly as he bent toward her to tease one of the curls that hung down Serena's back. "You learn quickly, Serena, I think I shall enjoy this night above most, for you are proving your willingness to become my possession."

Serena's lips parted in silent rage but before she could regain her voice, Gyles had led her to kneel before the priest to recite the vows that would bind her to him for the rest of her life. Tears sprang to her eyes as Serena watched her young girl's hopes of a love match die when Gyles's voice rang clear and strong through the hall. It was over. A few words spoken and she was Gyles's wife, his property, with no will or mind of her own. A thing he owned and that was all. Gyles frowned as he studied Serena, watching her blink back the tears that stood in those clear blue eyes. Now what was the matter with the woman? By the saints but she was unpredictable; her moods changed faster than any woman he had ever known. One minute she was fighting him tooth and nail and the next she looked as if she would burst into tears if he but looked at her.

But Serena had regained her composure and when she took her seat beside her husband at the table, she was able to smile graciously at her guests. It was when she caught Richard watching her with such obvious longing and anguish written on his face that Serena murmured something under her breath and left the table. Gyles stiffened in anger and he made to follow her, but Beda pulled him back to his chair and refused to loosen her grip. It was from Beda's side that Gyles watched with growing rage his wife's progress through the hall. The younger men seemed all too eager to claim the one kiss that was their right and Serena was whirled from one pair of arms to another until she collapsed dizzily against Richard. Without a word his lips claimed hers in a hotly passionate kiss and when Serena forced herself from his grasp she was trembling.

"Don't—don't ever do that again! You have no right—"

"I did once, Serena, I had the right to claim all of you once, and I should have. Remember the day we went riding alone? I could have taken you then and you wouldn't have stopped me. But for your sake I held back, I wanted you as my wife in name before you became my wife in fact. I should have bedded you and given you a child, then your father would have been forced to allow us to marry. Instead, I am forced to watch a bastard fondle you and share the same roof as he, while he spreads your thighs and takes your maidenhead!"

"Do you think I do not wish it otherwise? Men!" Serena spat. "You're all alike, thinking only of a woman as she is in bed! I have feelings too, I have a mind as well as a body, but no one seems to realize that." At the agony in his eyes Serena relented. "Forgive me, dearest Richard, but 'tis done. There's nothing we can do. You will soon marry and we will both build new lives."

Richard shook his head. "No! If I cannot marry you, I shall have no wife."

"You're being foolish, Richard. We must live out our lives as best we can. You'll find someone else, someone you can care for, I know you will."

"But what of you, Serena? Married to a man you do not love, what of your life?"

Serena cast a hurried glance toward Gyles. "My life is with him now. I can only trust in God and pray that He will grant us some small measure of happiness. I must go now, Richard. I will rise early enough to see you off on the morrow."

The afternoon melted into evening, but its passing was barely noticed within the castle. There the revelers ate, drank, and were entertained by a traveling group of mummers who performed magic, juggling, and some fortune telling.

" 'Tis said the old hag's predictions often come true, Serena." Gyles bent to his wife. "Why not allow her to look into your future."

Serena shook her head. "My fortune was told once before, and today put the lie to those words. I shall not allow myself to believe in childish fantasies any longer, but will make my own destiny however I may."

"You are far too young to harbor such bitterness."

Serena turned to gaze into her husband's eyes. "I am not bitter, m'lord, merely practical. My life was altered and I had no voice in the matter, but I have accepted that. What else is there to be done? I shall make the best of what God sees fit to grant me, more than this I dare not hope for."

Gyles did not reply, so both returned their attention to the juggler in front of them. The evening grew late and finally Nellwyn motioned to Serena that it was time for her to retire, which she did to many a ribald comment and raucous laugh. Once in her chamber she was quickly stripped of her gown and in its place was put a nightgown of fine linen. Nellwyn removed the ribbons from Serena's hair and brushed it until it flowed about her like a curtain of brown-gold velvet. As Nellwyn escorted her to Gyles's chamber, Serena kept her mind blank, trying not to dwell on how Gyles would use her.

Once inside the door, with Nellwyn no longer at her side, Serena's eyes and thoughts flew to the bed. She walked hesitantly to it and tested the softness first of the ticking and then the pillows. Serena paced to the windows, but the shutters were closed and barred and as she had no desire to let in the winter chill, she found nothing there to distract her. At last she poured herself a goblet of mulled wine and curled in a chair by the fire to study the flames. I can but hope he will be gentle, Serena thought, and if he finds me willing to act the part of a loved wife, perhaps he will not be displeased with me. I will honor with all my being the vows exchanged between us and try to bring him some measure of happiness.

Having made this promise to herself, Serena's heart lightened. Their first kiss had been most enjoyable—so perhaps Gyles was also skilled enough to deny her body the pain that accompanied the consummation of a marriage. Unconsciously, Serena found herself listening for the sound of her husband's footsteps, but Gyles walked so softly that she didn't hear him approach, and when the door was thrown open and he entered the room, Serena flew from her chair. Gyles gave her a brief glance before he closed the door. When he turned back to her, Serena smiled timidly.

"Would you like some wine, m'lord?" At his nod she hurried to bring him a goblet, completely unaware of the appreciative light that came into his eyes as she stood silhouetted in front of the fire. Her body was clearly outlined by the flickering light, and Gyles was as tantalizingly reminded of her daintiness as if she stood nude before him.

"Have you decided to become my obedient possession, Serena? You are much changed from the defiant lass who supped with me." Gyles studied her as she returned to the chair.

"I am your wife, m'lord," Serena said simply. "To do with as I will?" Gyles's tone had become harsher.

Serena fought down the fear rising inside her and nodded.

"So you will then agree to be my whore, Serena?" Gyles sneered. "Having been purchased by wedding vows will you come whenever I command? Will you do whatever I tell you to? Will you bear my sons every year without complaint? You should give me strong heirs and beautiful daughters, although 'tis to be hoped they will not inherit their mother's sharp tongue!"

Serena's eyes flashed blue sparks and she rose defiantly from her chair. "How dare you speak to me like this! I am not a brood mare you've purchased nor some harlot you've found for a night's dalliance!"

"You are my wife, sworn to obey me!" Gyles's voice rose.

"Your wife, yes, your whore, never!" Serena's tone matched his.

"You will do as I say!"

"Only if I am so inclined!"

"You are a stubborn bitch!"

"And you are an arrogant bastard!" Serena's hand flew to her mouth and her eyes widened in dismay. "M'lord, I—I'm sorry, I did not mean—"

Gyles's rough voice cut her off. "You did not seek to wed me, but did you ever consider that I may not have cared to wed you? If I had had a choice, I most certainly would not have taken you to wife! You will not obey me in anything else, but in this you shall. Get out. You may be my wife, but the thought of consummating this marriage revolts me."

"My goodness, don't tell me you two have done nothing but argue?"

Serena gasped and whirled toward the sound of Beda's voice. The older woman stood in a doorway Serena had not noticed before; clothed in a filmy nightgown, her blond hair unbound, Beda's appearance was angelic. Serena's eyes grew larger as Beda continued into the room and proceeded to make herself comfortable while Gyles merely shrugged and seated himself by the fire. Serena looked back at her husband, then at Beda, and as realization began to dawn, her stomach twisted and churned, the bile rising in her throat. The silence grew between the three until Serena thought she would go mad. No wonder he had not been eager to find a wife!

"You—" Serena choked out, "you're disgusting. Both of you." Serena flew to the door, wrenching it open with such force that it slammed against the inner wall of the chamber; she fled through the hall to her room. Once there, she bent over the chamber pot and retched until she was so weak her legs threatened to give way. To think she had been ready to offer herself to him, had actually resigned herself to being his wife. Serena stumbled to the bed and threw herself full length upon it. How could she have been so blind? The looks exchanged between Gyles and Beda; the way she clung to his arm and managed to be at his side whenever she could. Why hadn't she noticed earlier—she, Serena, who had always been so sensitive to other's feelings? Had Kier known he was being cuckolded by his own half-brother? How sickening; not only was she to be an unloved wife, but unwanted and untouched as well. In an unusual fit of self-pity, Serena buried her face in her pillow and cried.