Cowboy All Night (Thunder Mountain Brotherhood, Book 5) (17 page)

Keeping that thought uppermost in her mind, she knocked on his door with the code tap they’d worked out when they were kids. He opened it and pushed his wheelchair out of the way so she could come in. He looked as disheveled as he had the day before, but at least he hadn’t argued with her about interrupting whatever he’d been doing.

He hadn’t been playing video games. Instead he’d been watching television coverage of a riding event, one he would have competed in if he hadn’t fallen. He picked up the remote from his lap and clicked off the TV.

She walked immediately over to his couch and sat. After experiencing a wheelchair today, she understood the psychological impact of looking up at people who remained standing. Not pleasant. She gestured toward the screen. “Why torture yourself?”

He shrugged. “Everybody needs a fantasy life.”

“Josh, I want you to have a real life.”

“Sorry, sis. That’s not the hand I was dealt.” His matter-of-fact tone was more chilling than if he’d become angry.

“I danced with Linus today.”

For a brief moment curiosity flickered in his brown eyes. Then it disappeared. “Now you’re making stuff up just to mess with me.”

“No, I’m not. Let me show you the video.”

“I’d rather not.”

“Damn it, Josh! You can look at eventing on TV but you can’t look at a two-day-old colt running in a field?”

“Oh, what the hell. You’re going to keep bugging me until I see your precious Linus so we might as well get this over with.”

She ignored the sarcasm in his voice and pulled up the video on her phone. Leaving the couch, she crouched next to him and held it so they could both see. Yesterday she might have stood and leaned over him, but her perspective had changed.

“That’s the first section, when I got them both to come over to me and they put their noses practically on the screen. Is that funny or what? Look at his cute blaze. I wonder if he inherited that from his dad.”

Josh didn’t comment.

Determined to get a reaction, she clicked to the next video. “Here’s the part I meant about dancing with him. I got him to chase me and then I turned around and we sort of...danced together.” The video was jerky and her breathing and laughter were really loud, but Linus was adorable.

She became absorbed in the video. “He’s bonding with me already and he needs to bond with you. If you come out to the ranch with me tomorrow, things will be fairly quiet. Then you can come again on Tuesday, before the kids get there.”

The video stopped and still Josh hadn’t said anything.

“Look, I know you’re reluctant.” She took the phone and returned to the couch. “But I can drive the van right up to the barn door. We’ll get you into the wheelchair and then you can roll right down to—”

“Who’s
we
?”

“Me and Brant, the guy who’s starting the foal. He’s doing a terrific job. Linus is already comfortable with people.”

“Would he be comfortable with a wheelchair?”

“Yes, he would!” She sensed victory. “I wasn’t going to tell you this, but I rented one today and sat in it while Brant pushed me into the stall. Linus is
fine
with it. And I can tell you, I learned a lot about what it’s like to be in a wheelchair.”

“So you realize that on a place like Thunder Mountain, which I’ve researched online, by the way, that I’d be confined to the barn. No rolling around the property for this boy.”

“That’s the other really cool thing, Josh. Herb Padgett wants you to consult with him on making Thunder Mountain wheelchair accessible for future students and visitors. He plans to put in some asphalt paths and ramps, but he would love to have your advice before he does that.”

He gazed at her, his expression unreadable. “You’ve been busy.”

“Because I want you to get acquainted with this foal. And I want you to ultimately get out of that chair. Making the ranch wheelchair accessible would be fabulous but you won’t really need any of it. I’m betting you’ll be walking around the place before summer’s end. So what do you say? Want to come with me tomorrow?”

“No.”

She drew in a sharp breath as if she’d been slapped. “Why not?”

“Have you noticed how many times you’ve said ‘I want’?”

“I haven’t noticed but—”

“This isn’t about what you want, Aria. It’s about what I want. And don’t want. What I don’t want is some burly cowboy lifting me from the van into a wheelchair so I can roll myself down the length of the effing barn to see a foal I’ll never be able to dance with! Can you get that? Please? And leave me the hell alone?”

“I can’t leave you alone because you’ve given up! You’ve accepted your
fate
as you call it, and you won’t fight anymore. Don’t do this to yourself, Josh.”

He took a deep breath. “I can do whatever I choose, Aria. This is my life, not yours. As I mentioned before, I never asked you to breed Lucy so that I’d have something to distract me.”

“But if you’d just come out to the ranch and look at him, you’d—”

“I’d be even more aware of my limitations. I need you to stop, Aria. Just stop.”

“I
won’t
.” She left the couch and headed for the door. “You could be out of that chair if you wanted to be. I love you and I refuse to stand by while you flush your life down the—”

“It’s not up to you, sis.”

Despair clawed at her, but she fought it with everything she had. “You’re not giving up, Josh. I won’t let you!” And she stormed out the door. No brother of hers would languish in a wheelchair when he was perfectly capable of getting out of it.

17

A
LTHOUGH
B
RANT
CRAVED
Aria’s company, having his brothers around was a good second best. The opportunity to become better acquainted with the women in their lives was a bonus. Damon and his redheaded fiancée had returned from their weekend visit with Phil’s dad and stepmother and they showed up just in time for dinner.

Without missing a beat, Rosie directed Ty and Brant to convert the pool table in the rec room into a dining table. In minutes plates and utensils had been transferred and two additional places were set for Damon and Phil. Everyone gathered for the meal and discussion began immediately about plans for making the ranch wheelchair accessible.

“But I’ve realized it can’t be done over the Fourth,” Herb said. “Our chief builders will be on their honeymoon.”

“We will.” Damon reached over and took Phil’s hand. “But we can work something out before or after, right, sweetheart?”

“Absolutely. It’s a terrific idea. Since this has come up, I take it Josh has been out here with his wheelchair.”

“Not yet,” Herb said.

“Is that because he’s worried about the logistics? Damon and I could rig up something temporary, at least a ramp so he can navigate in and out of the barn.”

“I don’t think that’s the issue,” Rosie said. “According to Aria, he’s not interested in coming out to see Linus at all.”

“Oh, dear.” Phil looked upset. “Aria was so excited. She thought for sure he would be, too.”

“She’s still planning to drive him out here tomorrow,” Brant said. “Let’s hope she does. Even if there’s no ramp, I can help him in and out of the barn.”

“Paul Bunyan to the rescue,” Cade said with a chuckle.

Damon laughed. “I know, right? But Phil and I could build a ramp if you guys want one.”

“Let’s wait and see what happens,” Herb said. “I’d like Josh to give us advice on the layout of the walkways and the ramps, but first we have to see if he’ll show up. Let’s not build anything or do anything until we know one way or the other.”

“I sure hope he does come out, and soon,” Phil said. “Aria’s crazy about that brother of hers. This must be breaking her heart.”

Rosie sighed. “It probably is.”

“Sometimes you have to give a person time to come around, though,” Herb said. “I’m willing to do that.”

Until this very moment Brant had agreed completely with that sentiment. He’d told Aria as much this afternoon. But Phil’s comment stuck with him. This
was
breaking Aria’s heart. The longer he thought about it the less willing he was to give Josh time to come around. But he needed to consider his options.

Meanwhile the conversation had shifted to Damon and Phil’s wedding at the end of the month and he promised to be there. He wasn’t about to miss it.

But he’d be finished training Linus in a couple of weeks. Ending the training theoretically meant ending the affair with Aria, and yet she’d probably be at the wedding. Treating her like a casual friend would be difficult, not to mention insensitive. He’d still want her and he’d bet she would still want him.

Continuing their affair for one short weekend didn’t seem right, either. In the past he’d successfully avoided this kind of awkward situation by staying away from any woman connected to Thunder Mountain. He’d conveniently forgotten about that strategy with Aria, probably because his brain cells had been stewing in lust.

Oh, who was he kidding? The relationship had gone way beyond lust and the wedding wasn’t the problem. Aria wasn’t fitting into the neat little compartment he’d designated for his short-term relationships.

She was supposed to be temporary, like the other women he’d had in his life, but when he looked into her violet eyes, she didn’t feel temporary. Thinking back, he had to admit she never had.

Although she didn’t want a committed relationship any more than he did, they’d shared some extraordinary moments in the short time they’d been together. He couldn’t remember ever feeling so bonded with a woman. Ty had seen it right away. Cade and Lexi had, too.

So now what? He’d noticed Aria looking at him in a way that could mean she was rethinking her independent stance. To be honest, so was he. His cherished pattern didn’t look quite so wonderful anymore.

With new eyes he saw the depth of understanding between Rosie and Herb. Part of him longed for that, and it wasn’t even the part assigned to make Aria really happy tonight. His heart had become involved. Those emotions were raw and new, but he recognized what was happening. He was falling in love.

He even knew why. Besides being beautiful and sexy, she was strong, strong enough to go the distance. He’d convinced himself that unconditional love didn’t exist, but the evidence was all around that it did—Herb and Rosie, Damon and Phil, Cade and Lexi. Aria’s refusal to give up on her brother told him she was made of the same stuff. She kept her promises.

Thinking about his future had never been a priority, but it was now. He wanted Aria to be a part of it. She might reject the idea because of her personal plans, but he’d have to put it out there, and soon.

He’d always imagined that making a commitment was all about him and his decisions, but it wasn’t. If he needed and wanted her in his life and she preferred to concentrate on her plans instead...he didn’t want to contemplate the pain involved. He had to risk it, though. There was no going back.

Hanging out with loving couples only emphasized his new direction. Damon and Phil exchanged secret smiles and Ty kept his arm draped over the back of Whitney’s chair. Lexi and Cade teased each other unmercifully, as always, which was how they showed their love. Herb and Rosie’s connection was subtle and always present—his hand lightly brushing her shoulder, her warm glance when he refilled her coffee mug.

Brant had never felt like the odd man out in a group like this, but he did tonight. He joked around with everyone because that was what everyone expected of him. But through the toasts, the stories and the laughter, he missed Aria.

After dessert, which was chocolate cake instead of cherry pie, thank God, Rosie insisted that everyone else could clean up the dishes while he took Damon and Phil down to the barn for a peek at Linus.

“You two go on out to the porch,” Phil said. “I’ll be right with you.”

Brant had noticed that she’d turned down a glass of wine at dinner and that she’d made a trip to the bathroom halfway through the meal. Once they were out the front door, he glanced at Damon. “Is she—?”

“Yeah.” He grinned. “But don’t say anything, okay?”

“She doesn’t want anyone to know before the wedding?”

“She doesn’t care about that, but miscarriages run in her family and she’s superstitious about announcing it too early.”

“I can promise you that Mom’s figured it out.”

“Of course. When Phil refused the wine, Mom looked at me and I’m sure it was written all over my face. When I helped her bring in dessert and coffee, I told her to keep quiet. She will.”

“So will I and I’m sure everything will be fine. Congratulations, Daddy-o.”

“Thanks. Sobering, isn’t it?”

“It is, but in a good way. Hey, let me ask you something. How long did you know Phil before you figured out it was serious?”

“You mean serious like love?”

“Well, yeah.” The word sent shivers up his back. Except for Rosie, he’d never told a woman he loved her. He might be really bad at it.

“Honestly? I was in love with her by Day Two, but I couldn’t admit that. I was a rolling stone who gathered neither moss nor maidens. Couldn’t possibly be in love, y’know.”

Brant sighed. “Right.” Damon had resisted the concept just as he had. He felt a little less like an idiot.

“All set!” Phil breezed out the door. “Sorry to keep you waiting.”

“No worries.” Brant started down the steps. “By the way, that cabin you and Damon built for Cade is great.”

“We had fun doing it, although I’d hoped that they’d both have moved in there by now. If Lexi’s keeping her place in town, she’s not ready to propose.”

“Guess not.” He considered repeating Aria’s theories about why that was, but he decided against it.

“You’re looking good,” Phil said. “Life must be treating you well.”

“Can’t complain.”

“You never do,” Damon said. “You could be sitting in a pile of cow patties and you’d smile and say you were lovin’ it.”

“Yeah, well, I wonder if I’ve been a little too easy to get along with.”

“Whoa!” Damon clapped a hand to his heart. “I can’t believe you just said that. I’m thinking we need to call CNN with this breaking news.”

Normally he would have sparred with Damon, but he didn’t have the time right now. “It’s this business with Josh. Aria’s put her heart and soul into her project and he can’t even be bothered to come out here and take a look. That’s not right.”

“I can tell you feel strongly about it,” Phil said. “I’m running to keep up with you.”

“Oh. Sorry.” He slowed his pace.

“So what are you gonna do about it, brother of mine?” Damon shot him a glance. “And for the record, I’d be happy to provide backup. This could be fun to watch.”

“I haven’t decided, but whatever it is, I can handle it. Thanks for the offer, though.”

“Let me know if you change your mind. I’ve never seen you this worked up, not even when we played for the state basketball championship. Or the football championship, come to think of it.” Damon looked over at Phil. “We both double lettered, so be impressed.”

“I am. I’d be honored to wear your letterman’s jacket.”

“Well, um, the thing is, I loaned that jacket to Mary Ann Templeton and I never got it back.”

“Because she burned it in a school trash can after you broke up with her.” Brant smiled at the memory. “What a stink it made, too. Polyester doesn’t burn well.” They’d reached the barn and he slid aside the wooden bar so they could go in.

“I need to buy you a drink sometime, Brant,” Phil said as she walked inside. “Then you can tell me all about Mary Ann Templeton and any other girlfriends I should know about.”

“Just don’t invite your fiancé if you want the scoop.”

“Don’t worry. It’ll be just you and me.”

“Hey, people. I’m right here.” But laughter rippled in Damon’s voice.

Brant wasn’t surprised at Damon’s mellow mood. He was about to be married to a great woman and soon he’d be a father. Good for him. His childhood hadn’t been pretty and he deserved his happily-ever-after.

Baseboard lights cast enough of a glow to guide them but not enough to disturb the sleeping horses. They stopped talking as they walked to the far end of the barn. Brant glanced in first. Lucy and Linus were lying curled together in the straw, but Damon and Phil would be able to get a decent view of the new foal. He stepped back and motioned them forward.

“Oh, my goodness,” Phil murmured softly. “He’s precious.”

Damon wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “Yeah, he’s cute, all right. Lucy did good.”

“You’ll get a better view tomorrow when he’s out in the pasture.”

“I’m sure we will.” Phil moved away from the stall. “But I wanted to see him tonight. We’ve all been waiting so long.”

“I know.” Until now he hadn’t fully grasped the anticipation surrounding this event. He’d come in at the very end, but these two had been watching Lucy’s progress for months. So had Lexi, Cade, Rosie and Herb. Then there was the person who’d anticipated it most of all. She deserved better than to have her brother refuse to even see the foal.

Phil waited until they were outside the barn and headed back to the house before she vented her frustration. “I can’t
believe
her brother hasn’t been out here! How could he be that way? She must have shown him pictures!”

“I’m sure she tried. I don’t know if he agreed to look at them.”

“I’m ready to go over to his apartment and give him a piece of my mind. Maybe this isn’t going to be his salvation, but he should at least have the decency to come and see this sweet baby once, for Aria’s sake. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.”

Brant made his decision. “You know, Phil, neither do I.”

* * *

A
RIA
WAS
CONFUSED
by Brant’s text. He’d asked her for directions to her apartment and said he’d meet her there instead of having her come out to the cabin. She agreed to the change of plans although she was disappointed. Her apartment wasn’t nearly as romantic as that beautiful cabin.

But she’d texted him when she’d finished her last delivery and was headed home. At least she’d get to see him. She’d thought a lot about his comments that she should leave Josh alone and let him decide his own fate. Maybe that was the right thing to do.

She couldn’t imagine backing away when Josh had a chance of walking again, but she couldn’t make him get out of that chair. She couldn’t force him to go see Linus, either. She needed his full cooperation to get him into her van.

She didn’t have any power in this situation. Josh had it all, and he’d chosen not to go along with her plan. She could rant and rave all she wanted, but that wouldn’t accomplish anything.

So she might as well enjoy Linus and her time with Brant without expecting anything from Josh. Maybe she needed to accept the idea that he’d spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair. The possibility horrified her, but it must not horrify him or he wouldn’t have dropped out of physical therapy. She would love him even if he never walked again.

Brant’s mud-spattered truck was waiting in the visitor’s section of the parking lot when she drove in. She remembered that he’d named it Bessie, which made her smile. She pulled into her assigned slot and climbed out.

His long legs and determined stride brought him over to her before she’d locked the van. She welcomed him with open arms, deliriously glad to nestle against his solid chest and absorb the warmth of his body. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too.” He held her close, his cheek resting on the top of her head. “But before I can show you how much, there’s something we need to do.”

“What’s that?”

“I’m here to take your brother out to see Linus.”