Cowboy Country (32 page)

“They’d never ask…you know that.”

“I do, but I also know until you and I figure this mess out, the family that has been more mine than yours for the past several years has suddenly grown very uncomfortable.”

“Don’t let my mom hear you say that.”

“Why?”

“Because if push comes to shove and she finds out how you feel, she’s going to kick my sorry ass out.”

“Then it’s a good thing I don’t live here. I think this is my cue to leave.”

“Honey, come back.” He’d beg if he had to.

She walked away without another word and without looking back.

Damn, looked like things were worse than he anticipated. He was going to have to do more than beg.

****

Regina raced back into the house. The screen door slammed behind her. She went into the dining room and said, “Come on Silver, it’s time we get you home and into a bath.”

“But Mommy I didn’t have dessert yet.” Silver already had her pucker lip in place.

“And you haven’t eaten a thing. You have to keep your strength up,” Lena pleaded.

“I was going to ask if Silver could spend the night and have a slumber party with me,” Darcy said. “And in the morning I planned to help her practice on the sheep.”

“If you’re sure you don’t mind, that would be nice. I have so much to catch up on. The past few days have been a bit hectic.” She dropped a kiss on the top of Silver’s head. “Make sure she takes her bath, she’s got an inch of dirt all over her.” She squeezed Darcy’s shoulder. She was one Bronco who understood how rough things were for her.

Darcy patted her hand. “No problem, right after dinner.”

“Then I’ll be on my way. Thank you, Darcy. Thanks for dinner.”

“You cooked it, we should be thanking you,” Nate said.

Darcy walked her out the back kitchen door. “Are you sure you’re okay? You look upset.”

“I’ll get over it, don’t worry. And thanks, I need some time alone. I have a lot to consider.”

Darcy laid a hand on her arm. “I know you’re mad at Sterling. He’s not perfect, but he does love you.”

“I appreciate your concern, but this is something he and I have to work out, and as much as I appreciate the families concern, I really need everyone to stay out of our business.”

“We’re a bit hard to take, but we love you and only want the best for you and Silver.”

“Then give us time and don’t push. Please.” She didn’t honestly think it would work. The Broncos didn’t know the meaning of butt out. At the same time she owed them so much. Too bad there wasn’t a happy medium.

She started her car quickly before Sterling could come out and stop her.

She saw him run out of the barn just as she turned onto the highway.

Heading home she planned to take a long hot bath, and go to bed early. Forget the laundry, forget the dishes. She wanted sleep.

Why did life have to be so damned complicated? The entire trip home she ran over her conversation with Sterling. Deep down inside there was no doubt he loved her. Maybe she’d been too harsh on him. If only he’d have come home, even once, and tried to get her back; but he hadn’t, so how could she trust him now? It wasn’t that he purposely stayed away, but something kept him from coming home and not knowing what it was made her feel like less of a woman. If he truly loved her, he’d have found a way to come home. He was a great soldier. But even soldiers needed a break from the stress. Except it was Sterling—he thrived on it.

Pulling into the driveway of her tiny little house, she sat in the car, afraid. Frustration consumed her. Her greatest fears were coming true. She’d lost Sterling forever. She couldn’t imagine any reason good enough, strong enough for him to stay away.

She grabbed her purse, the house beckoning her into its walls of safety. No sooner has she stuck her key in the door than she heard a vehicle pull up. She’d have recognized Sterling’s truck a mile away. Damn it. Someone gave him her address.

She unlocked the door, reached in and turned on the outside light, then turned around to face him. She crossed her arms, refusing to buckle. She had to stay strong.

“Who gave up my address?” she asked.

He snorted. “Who didn’t? They all want us to get things straightened out.”

“You’re not helping.”

“Maybe not, but not talking about it isn’t going to make it happen any faster.”

She blew out a gust of air and stood aside. “Fine, but you’re not spending the night.”

“Consider me duly warned.” He stopped in front of her and slowly licked his lips before moving further in the house.

The look in his eyes was of need so deep and true. How many times had that look buckled her knees? Too many to count. She took a deep breath and swallowed. “Have a seat. Would you like some coffee?”

“Sure, that’d be nice.”

She went into the kitchen.

Sterling followed her.

So much for the bit of space she’d hoped for while she tried to collect her thoughts. She’d have to find a way to keep him talking, let him have his coffee then get him to leave. The longer he stayed the more likely chances were she’d give in and hate herself in the morning.

She filled the coffee pot with water, then scooped coffee into the trough that filtered the grounds. “What are you plans now that the military won’t take you back?”

He leaned on the counter and shook his head. “You couldn’t just leave it at I’m home for good. Did you really need to stick in the dig?”

She turned away and opened the refrigerator looking for something to go with the coffee. What a liar, she couldn’t look at him. She moved from the fridge to the cupboards looking for anything. “At least I’m not skirting the issues. I’m meeting them head on, like they should have been from the beginning. If you’d just come home even one time—” she held up a single digit “—I’d have given you a second chance, but you chose work over family. Again.”

“I’m not skirting anything. I’m treading carefully because everything I say seems to set you off. I would have come home if you’d told me about Silver.”

“That’s not the sort of news you break via mail or from a second party like your family. And how dare you turn everything around and blame me when it’s your fault. You left. And then you broke up with me. For five years I’ve wanted to know why? Is that too much to ask?”

 Sterling squinted then closed his eye and pinched the bridge of his nose. The muscles in his jaws danced. He took a seat, suddenly appearing shaky. The wrinkles between his brows deepened.

“Are you all right?”

“Fine.”

“You’re not fine, damn it, talk to me,” she ordered.

“I get headaches. What’s to talk about?”

“Are these due to your injuries?”

He pressed the heel oh his hand to his forehead and rubbed in a circle. “Yeah.”

“Damn it Sterling, what can I do to help you?” she asked, making an attempt to take the painful accusations from her voice.

“You keep that up and I’m going to tell Silver on you.” He scrunched his eye shut, his jaw rigid and tense.

“Stop trying to change the subject. I want to know about the injuries and what you need to do for them, and I want to know all of it, now.”

“When did you get so bossy?” He tried to glare at her. It didn’t work.

“When you left me—now talk.”

“The headaches have to do with the concussion and the damage to the eye. When the headaches hit, it’s best for me to lie down and try to sleep it off. I don’t like to take the meds.”

“Is this your way of trying to manipulating me into letting you spend the night?”

The glare in his eye was more than enough to let her know she was way off base. When he awkwardly stood and wobbled toward the door she had to admit she’d pushed him the wrong way.

“Stop where you are. You are not driving, not when you’re in pain.”

“Like you care,” he spat.

“Damn it, you know I do. This is yet another example of why it’s imperative we talk. You’ve been gone so long and have enough baggage that we don’t know each other anymore. We’ve both changed.”

“You’ve certainly changed. The girl I left didn’t automatically assume the worst of me.”

“The girl you left behind had to grow up fast and hard. We’ll discuss us later. Right now I want you to go lay down on my bed. I’ll close the curtains and get you a cold compress.”

“I’ll take the couch. I wouldn’t want to put you out.”  He was staggered on his feet.

“All I have is a loveseat. You’re too big for it. You’ll take the bed.” The thought of a man his size trying to sleep on the loveseat almost made her laugh out loud. Sterling Bronco was the biggest man she knew. He was six feet six inches, and two-thirty-five of solid gorgeous flesh and bone. She ushered him to her room, pulled down the shades then closed the curtains.

Sterling removed his shoes and shirt before he lay down on top of her bed.

Standing in her bathroom, wetting a wash cloth, she stared at his naked chest and the mottled scars on his shoulder, still red and puckered, overwhelmed by the amount of pain he must have endured. Oh how she’d missed his body, the warmth and the strength of his arms when he held her. At the rate she was going she’d need a cold shower once he fell asleep.

After wringing out the excess moisture from the wash cloth and folded it in half then moved to the bed and placed the cool rag on his forehead covering his eyes as well.

“You get some rest. If you need anything just call me. I don’t want you walking around in pain, understood?”

He lifted on corner of the rag. “Yes ma’am,” he said.

The fight had been taken out of him, his pain greater than she’d first thought.

She turned off the light and went to do the dishes. Once they were done, she picked up the phone and dialed the ranch, waiting for someone to answer.

Lena picked up.

“Hi Lena, how’s Silver doing?”

“She’s fine, the boys helped build her a fort out of the dining room table, they’re telling her ghost stories.”

“I’m sure she’s in heaven with that much attention focused on her. By the way, Sterling is here and he’s spending the night—and before you get all excited about it, he’s staying because he got one of his headaches, nothing more. I wouldn’t let him drive home.”

“I wasn’t going to say a word, dear.” But there was laughter in Lena’s voice.

“I’m glad, I just wanted you to know he was safe,” she said, but she knew better. Knowing the Broncos they would be going out of their minds come morning hoping she and Sterling were back together.

“Does he want someone to bring his pain pills?”

“No. He’s insisting he won’t take a thing for it. I’m not sure it’s wise, he looks miserable.”

“I’m sure he is. He’s had a number of them since he’s been home. It usually takes about twenty-four hours before they go away. If you want us to come get him, I’ll send a couple of the boys over now.”

“No, don’t bother. I don’t want him to move.”

“What about when you go to work?”

“Oh shoot, I forgot about that. I’ll deal with it in the morning.”

“Call if you need anything.”

“Give Silver a kiss for me.”

“Will do, night dear.”

“Good night.” She hung up and went into the living room to watch a bit of television only to find Sterling leaning in the doorway, his well-defined body barely fit  between the jambs, head hanging to one side and half naked.

“If I’m an imposition I can leave.”

“Yeah right, you can barely stand upright. Like I want the responsibility of you on the road with others? No thanks. Will you get back into bed before you get worse?” She reached him and grabbed his forearm.

He stared down at her. “I don’t want to put you out.”

“You’re not. But you are going to make me very angry if you don’t get back into bed and take care of that headache.” She wrapped her arm around his waist and helped him shuffle back to bed. As much as he was blustering on about being an imposition, he leaned heavily on her. Guilt shrouded her as if their argument had brought it on.

She’d have to be more careful in the future.

“Honestly, I can just go home, I don’t want to be a burden.”

“Will you shut up and get back into bed?”

“Are you sure?”

“If you’re trying to get me to beg, you’re barking up the wrong tree.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he said, then sank onto bed and let out a groan then a shudder.

“See you only made it worse.” She grabbed the comforter off the cedar chest at the foot of her bed and covered him, then put the compress back over his eyes.

“Now stay put.”

“Roger that.” Then he said, “Don’t leave yet.” He reached out for her.

She took his hand and held it.

His chest heaved. The exertion while in so much pain over-taxed him.

She sat beside him. The light from the hallway allowed her to search his face for a sign he’d be okay. When he began breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth she knew he was struggling for control.

It was several minutes later that she heard the gentle snores coming from him.

Regina placed a hand on his cheek and whispered, “Sleep well, my love.” She stood and laid his hand to his side, pulled the quilt up a bit higher, then kissed his cheek before leaving him to sleep off the pain.

Even though he was fast asleep she whispered, “I love you.” She said it as much for herself as she did for him.

She settled on the loveseat. The television on but muted, in case Sterling needed her. Leaning her head back on the couch she ran through their earlier conversation realizing that she hadn’t taken the seriousness of his injuries into consideration. She hadn’t really allowed herself to dwell on the report she’d received from his doctors. Maybe that’s what had her so all fired upset. She should have been there by his side, through the prognosis and therapy. Would have been if they’d been a couple. That and he hadn’t allowed anyone to see him, wouldn’t even allow calls to his room. Damn him. She was getting upset all over again.

She closed her eyes and willed her mind to her daughter. Silver was so glad to finally have her father home. And yet, he’s missed so much of her life. Would there ever be a comfort zone for them?

She nodded off, dreaming of the past when she and Sterling had been happy.