Cowboy Not Included: The Boot Knockers Ranch, Book 6 (18 page)

Then there was some cracking of a whip, and Booker was on.

He rolled the box out to the sound of cheers. Skye sat up straight, and their gazes locked. When he threw back the lid to the box, the makeshift arena hushed.

As he drew out the contents one at a time, he watched only Skye. Three dildos of various colors and lengths filled his hands. He threw them in quick succession, juggling to the deafening yells of the audience. Boot Knockers whistled from behind him. And Skye was laughing.

His heart lifted, and for a maddening minute, he believed they might work. Juggling the cocks, he added a fourth, fifth, six. They landed in each palm and he tossed them just as swiftly—into the crowd.

Women dived for them like fans after the World Series winning baseball. Hard-earned money gone, but he didn’t care. He was ready for a new title around here. Let someone else take over the toys.

He grabbed more from the box. Juggled, tossed.

“Hey, King, send some this way,” a Boot Knocker on the side called. Booker sent a purple rubbery dick sailing right into the man’s hands.

Not all of his collection was in this box, but he was giving away a large part. Unlike losing the other important things in his life, this didn’t hurt a bit. Actually, it felt freeing as hell.

Grinning, he juggled behind his back and under his leg. When the box was nearly empty, he pushed it toward the bleachers and then bowed to the ladies.

Skye was nowhere to be seen.

His heart seized. He couldn’t swallow or breathe.

This moment felt monumental to him, but she’d walked away. It was over.

He ripped off his hat and threw it into the dust. Then he kicked it. Battered and as bruised as his heart, it rolled to a stop.

Looking up at the bleachers where his beautiful, perfect Skye wasn’t, his eyes burned. There was only one thing left to do—he ran out of the ring and got into his truck. He had to make a trip to the bank.

If Skye didn’t want him, there was little point in leaving his job. They couldn’t make a relationship work. With a heavy heart, he went inside the bank, where he didn’t even flirt with the teller.

A check for the entire amount of his savings in his back pocket, he headed back to the ranch. Since he couldn’t be Skye’s lover, friend and husband, he had to at least make her and Findlee comfortable.

He’d slept with a lot of people, but only one had his heart. And she didn’t want it. He dragged a shaky breath through his nose and stared at the long gray road.

Chapter Twelve

Booker was gone. He’d disappeared, flown the coop, gone AWOL. He’d better be in a shallow grave, because that’s where she was sending him if he wasn’t.

For hours Skye had been waiting for him to come to the bungalow. She’d gone from worried to pissed off to out of her mind. After walking the ranch looking for him, then asking at the office and in the barn, she’d found nobody else had seen him since the rodeo either.

Seeing him in that arena had stirred her beyond words. She was in love with him again, and that couldn’t happen. He had his life, she had hers. They’d come together once in a while for Findlee’s sake. Now her request for friends with benefits seemed silly and impulsive.

Especially since he’d vanished. Had he spotted another sexy woman in the crowd and used some of those sex toys he’d been tossing on her?

“Damn him to hell. He’ll never change. Stupid. So stupid.” She dropped her face in her hands and drew five deep, ragged breaths. Their calming effect was zilch. She started to pace.

As she passed the wide window overlooking the lush fields, her mind worked. This week had been about two things—fulfillment and speaking to Booker about his daughter. She’d accomplished those things. Too bad her heart had been bruised and battered, dragged behind the horse that was Booker. Well, he could go on bolting—she didn’t have to hang on to the reins.

She stomped to the door and peeked out. No sign of him.

Whirling toward the bedroom, she released a string of curses that would round out Findlee’s vocabulary nicely.

She should have known better than to include cowboys in her life—especially this cowboy.

With jerky movements, she located her suitcase. Unzipping with a wild flick, she mumbled to herself some more. “Damn him. Who does he think he is grabbing my heart this way and throwing me away—again! And why am I so dumb to have fallen for him? I was over him. So far away. And I wasted all this money.”

It wasn’t about the money and she knew it. She dropped heavily to the bed. An angry tear escaped and she swiped it away with a growl.

She was mad at him, yes. But more with herself. When was she going to stop making these juvenile decisions? Jumping into marriage with him so young could be chalked up to naiveté. But there was no excuse for unzipping her heart and opening it wide for him to hurt her again.

Another tear fell and she dashed it off her cheek. Then another. Pretty soon she was openly crying as she threw her belongings into her bag.

As she left the bedroom—rumpled bed, fluffy robe, Booker’s bottle of freaking aftershave on the nightstand—her chest tore open even further. She gulped back a sob and strode from the space that harbored too many sweet, fun times.

She’d missed those the most after he’d left.

“Damn him.”

When she flung open the door, the sun was a shimmer on the horizon, sinking behind the ridge.

The ridge where they’d had so much fun together. Knowing she’d meant nothing to him after all was a final knife twist.

She was going to the office to ask for transport to the airport. Waiting until the next day wasn’t an option.

For a moment she froze in her tracks, barely registering the big, gorgeous, irate cowboy stomping her direction.

He leaped the steps in one giant move, grabbed her by the arms and manhandled her back into the bungalow. She dropped her bags. “What the hell are you doing, Skye? Are you leaving me?”

“It’s you who left me.” God, his eyes were green fire and his nearness spiked her libido.

No way am I letting him through my shield again.

He kicked the door shut and the few pictures on the walls rattled. When he hovered over her, she sank her teeth into her lip to keep from lunging upward and kissing him.

“You were leaving the ranch.”

“Yes.”

“You weren’t even going to say goodbye to me?”

“No.”

Something slithered over his face. “Oh God, something isn’t wrong with Findlee, is it?”

His concern couldn’t have burrowed deeper or at a time that was more wrong. She tried to push away from him, but his arms were vises. “Findlee’s fine. It’s you who isn’t.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Where were you all day? Nobody could find you.”

His grip on her eased slightly, but he still wouldn’t let her budge. “You jumped to conclusions. Just like last time.”

“Those girls were going wild for you. Did you grab one and take off with her?” She practically spat the words with enough venom to kill.

He let her go and she rocked on her boots. “You seriously believe I left you to go fuck another client? On your last day here?”

“I know you’ve been dedicated to your job, but you probably couldn’t resist. There are a lot of pretty ladies here.”

“Fuck, Skye.” He stumbled back two steps and his back came up against the door. He dipped his head. Silence ticked by.

“Please let me by, Booker. You can call and make arrangements to see Findlee, but forget what I said about…sex…when you come to visit.”

He jerked his gaze to hers. “This was never about sex with you.”

She made a move for the door handle and he blocked her. Big chest, angry glint in his eyes. “I’m not letting you walk out that door. I’m not playing my mistakes on loop.”

“Neither am I.”

He locked his hand around her wrist. “You wouldn’t trust me then, but you’re damn well listening now even if I have to tie you up.”

He didn’t look as if he was bluffing. She swallowed hard even as shards of need jabbed her. Her body wanted him, her heart wanted him. But her brain was too smart for both.

“I promised my brother I wouldn’t ever tell, but well, it’s time. I can’t let you walk away again without knowing all of it.”

“What? Your brother? What’s he got to do with anything?”

“It’s complicated.” He didn’t say more, and silence stretched.

She shook her head in frustration. “Nothing you can say will change my mind.”

“Don’t. Say. A. Word.” His glare seized her vocal cords and she could do nothing but blink up at him. “That day I was missing wasn’t for reasons you believed, Skye. Bobby called me.”

“Why?”

“He was in big trouble with some meth heads he owed money to. They were going to kill him. He was going nuts on the phone, and what could I do? I knew you and Findlee were safe at home, so I drove over to his place.”

She breathed shallowly, unable to process the things he was saying. Never in her life had she connected his brother to the mess of that day, but Booker could be lying.

A voice in the back of her mind said,
After all this time?

“I can see the doubt rolling behind your eyes already. Just listen to me. You know Bobby has struggled with addiction since his teen years. When I got there…” his voice grew rough with emotion, “…he was out cold in a puddle of his vomit. I didn’t know if what he’d said about the people he owed money to was true, whether they’d really kill him, or if he was just high as fuck. But I couldn’t risk it. I tossed him over my shoulder and carried him out of his apartment. I threw him in the car and drove him clear across the state.”

“But…why?”

“Just listen,” he said gently. She was horribly aware of how amazing his gaze felt on her. “He came out of his drug haze after a couple hours but he learned where I was taking him and flipped.”

“Where were you taking him?”

“Whispering Springs.”

The best drug rehab in the state. Booker had mentioned the place to Skye several times, saying it was costly but if he could help his brother, he’d do it. Nothing had ever come of it, and she’d had no reason to check in with Bobby after Booker left her life.

The drive to the rehab must have taken twelve hours. Twelve hours back and a few extra to get his brother established.

Oh God. Had she really ended her marriage over an assumption? She had.

“How do I know this is the truth?”

He stared deep into her eyes. “I swear on Findlee’s life. On this.” He raised her hand to the place over his heart where the tattoo of the father/daughter bond lived.

She swallowed hard. She should have trusted him, like he said.

“Plus, there’s the reason I was gone today.” Reaching into his back pocket, he held her gaze. When he produced a folded paper, she stared at it. “Go on. Take it.”

“What is it?” Her mind reeled from the information he’d just disclosed and couldn’t wrap around more.

“Just do it.” His words were a combination of exasperation and resignation.

With a shaking hand, she took the paper and unfolded it. She had to read the face of the check twice before it registered.

“This is a huge amount of money written out to me.”

“It’s for Findlee. And for you too. I can’t let you guys live in that part of town forever. I’ve been saving my ass off to give you a better house. You should be able to sell your house and have a bigger deposit for a new one.”

Her throat closed and words fled from her mind. What the hell was going on?

“This is where I went after the rodeo. I looked up at the stands and you were gone.”

She let her gaze slide from his. “I saw how those women lusted after you and I couldn’t stick around.”

“Who cares how they feel about me? Shouldn’t it be how I feel about them?”

“You’ve always been a flirt, Booker.”

“Maybe so, but that doesn’t mean I act on any of it.”

“You never told me I was beautiful and special.”

“Dammit, I did. By putting a ring on your finger. Do you think I passed those out in bulk?”

She stopped breathing, and understanding hit her. What he was saying—that he’d chosen her. It was true. But…

“I went to the bank for the money as soon as I saw you were missing. I thought you were finished with me.”

“I was,” she said quietly. She wanted to say
I am
, but the words died on her lips.

“So once again you jumped to conclusions—that I was off fucking someone else.”

“I might have been wrong,” she whispered.

“I want you to trust me so damn bad,” he said hotly. He plucked her off her feet, pinioning her to his body so she could barely draw air. She clung to him weakly.

After striding into the bedroom, he threw her down on the mattress. Then he followed her, locking her beneath him. “You’re not leaving this ranch until you say you believe me about Bobby. I was stupid not to tell you years ago, because maybe we could have fixed things. But I couldn’t, Skye. He made me swear and I couldn’t do more damage to him. Even now I feel like I’m betraying him, but I can’t go on with you thinking I was with anyone else.”

Tears scorched her throat. “And I shut you out.”

He rolled off as if looking at her was too hard to bear. She ached for him to come back to her. “That was the worst. You should have trusted me. I was your husband, Skye.”

Tipping onto one hip, she forced him to meet her gaze. “You were always flirting. You seemed so interested in those girls.”

“I’m sorry for that, but I thought you realized I was coming home to you. The flirting, I don’t even realize I do it. But I like making people smile.”

“I hated that part of you.”

“And you don’t now?”

She dug deep into her psyche in search of the answer. She’d watched him with several women as well as cowboys on the ranch. Somehow his flirting with them hadn’t affected her. Maybe because they were no longer married, but she wasn’t so sure.

“I might have gotten enough distance from you that I could see more clearly,” she admitted.

“Meaning?”

“You flirted with Teller. Hell, you fucked him. But I don’t think you want to marry him.”

“And this made-up woman in the crowd you thought I took off with?”

Suddenly the idea seemed up there with Booker being abducted by aliens. “You weren’t spending hours on the mothership getting your anal probe, were you?”

His eyebrows drew together. “Are you high too? Maybe I should take you to Whispering Springs.”

“Where were you all this time? The bank closed hours ago and I searched the ranch for you.”

Doubt crossed his handsome face and her heart plummeted.

Booker had no idea how to confess he’d spent hours just sitting in a copse of trees, contemplating his life. Until the sun had disappeared, he hadn’t noticed the day coming to an end. All he felt was his imminent end with Skye.

But he’d finally gotten to speak his piece. And she’d listened. Didn’t mean she’d let him stay in her life, yet she was still lying beside him.

She was giving him a chance.

His heart flipped and he said, “I was thinking.”

“About?”

“About giving you this check and how I was going to watch you walk out of my life again.”

“You don’t need to give me this money. I’ve been saving for a new house anyway.”

“It’s not about the money. It’s…oh hell.” He bracketed her stunning face with his hands and searched her eyes. “Do you feel nothing for me after this week?”

She tore away and rolled to sit at the end of the bed. He dragged himself into a seated position too, heart drumming in his temples.

When she didn’t speak, he couldn’t hold back. He’d never forgive himself if she left and he didn’t say what was in his heart. “Baby, you’ve reeled me right back in.”

She jerked her head around.

He thumped his chest. “Right here. While I was sitting there, I thought about you asking me to come with you to the house that money will buy. About taking over as your husband again, of being a father. Dammit, I want to add a piece to this puzzle tattoo. Skye, I fucking love you.”

For an eternal second, she stared. Then her face crumpled. Uncertainty flooded him, but he didn’t have anything left to lose. All he had were a few clothes, friends and a distant hope for a relationship with his daughter. Getting Skye back would be everything.

Or he’d walk out of this bungalow empty-handed.

“Say something,” he said raggedly. “I left your life because it’s what you wanted. I didn’t want it then and I don’t now. I want you more than ever, baby.”

She didn’t utter a word, and the burn in his chest grew.

He waved the check in front of her face. “Do you want me there with you?”