Cowboy Take Me Away (25 page)

Maybe her pregnancy hormones were contagious because her sweet, heartfelt words made him misty-eyed. “I love you. So damn much.”

“Show me.” She swept her lips over his in that not-so-innocent way that he craved. “You needed to hold me? I need this.”

“You sure?” He stroked the swell of her belly. “You were sick—”

“Hours ago. I brushed my teeth, washed myself up and I need your mouth and your hands on me.”

Instant erection.

Carolyn shed her blouse and oh yeah, she hadn’t worn a bra. Her tits were enormous during pregnancy.

“Gimme.”

“Huh-uh. Take it if you want it.”

So she wanted to make him work for it? Fine by him. He jackknifed and nestled his face in her cleavage. He slid his hands down her naked back and beneath the waistband of her pajama bottoms. His fingertips connected with more bare skin—no underwear either. He started his assault on her nipples. Softly sucking on the rigid tips, using his teeth, then backing off to rub his face against that abundant flesh and not giving her nipples any attention at all. He followed her ass crack to the wet opening of her cunt, slipping two fingers into her from behind.

“Carson.”

He grabbed her hand and placed it over her mound. “You want it, sugar, take it.”

She tightened her other hand on his shoulder, letting her head fall back as she rubbed that spot. Her hair swayed, teasing his forearm as she bumped her hips forward.

“Sexy fuckin’ woman. That’s it.”

Carson plunged his fingers into her pussy, sucking her nipple, then easing back to lightly flick it the same way he did when his mouth was on her clit.

The woman was so in tune with satisfying her sexual needs, her body so responsive to his, that it wasn’t long before goose bumps beaded across her skin. She released a tiny whimper, the one that drove him insane because he knew she was about to come. He loved watching her get off.

Her fingers began to move faster on her clit. When he felt the first spasm, he shoved his fingers deep, moving his mouth to her other nipple, sucking it in tandem with the pulsing of her pussy muscles around his fingers.

A gasp tore from her throat. Her hold on his neck increased to the point of pain. But he fucking loved that almost as much as when she damn near pulled out his hair when his face was buried in her cunt.

Abruptly Carolyn stopped moving. She shoved at his hand.

“What? Did I hurt you?”

“No. I need more. I’m still…” She released a frustrated noise and went straight for his belt buckle. “Take them off.”

“Sugar—”

“Now!”

The primitive need to satisfy his mate fired every cell in his body. He forced himself to be gentle as he set her aside and stripped, blood and possession roaring through him. He wanted to fuck her from behind, needing to prove to her that he could take care of her in the way that mattered most.

Since she was pregnant, he paused, waiting for the fog of lust to clear a bit. His Carolyn liked rougher sex. In the past she’d had teeth marks on her ass, finger-shaped bruises on her inner thighs, and purple love bites on her neck and chest as proof of the no-boundaries passion that exploded between them.

“What?” she asked in that husky,
fuck me now, what are you waiting for
tone.

“Just tryin’ to figure out how I want you first.”

“Hurry up and decide.”

Carson crawled across the bed, rolling her onto her side, then spooning behind her. He shifted her top leg back over his hip, sinking his teeth into the nape of her neck as he sank his cock into her hot, slick pussy. “Fuck, that feels good.”

“Harder.”

“I haven’t started to move yet.”

“I know. And I’m dying here.”

“Look at me.”

Carolyn turned her head. Her face was flushed and those blue eyes of hers were wild with need.

He was the luckiest damn man in the world.

“Hard and fast?” he murmured.

“Please. I love the way you fuck me with that big cock of yours, Carson McKay.”

Might send him straight to hell for loving the rare curse word coming from his good-girl Catholic wife, but so be it. So he pushed her to say it again. “I’m sorry, sugar, I didn’t quite hear that.”

“Fuck me. Make me come so hard I pass out from the sheer bliss of having your cock pounding into me.”

“That I can do.”

And he did.

He sent her over the edge twice—multiple orgasms for her was another benefit of pregnancy—and he roared like a beast when his balls finally released his seed.

Carolyn bore down with her cunt muscles, milking him so hard he swore he came twice in a row. Sweat coated his body. Her breath drifting across his skin as she spiraled down from her orgasm sent a shudder through him.

She sought his mouth, shifting their position so he was on his back with her laying half on top of him. She whispered, “I love you,” against his lips and peppered kisses from his chin, up his jaw to his temple. “I am so lucky.”

He snorted. “Because I fucked you like an animal?”

“No.”

When she didn’t elaborate, he said, “You goin’ someplace with this? ’Cause woman, I don’t think my brain is firin’ on all cylinders.”

“I’m lucky because you are mine.” She bit his earlobe. “Everything about you is just…mmm. This long sweep of your neck? Drives me crazy. It’s warm and strong. Yet when I do this?” Carolyn sucked on the section of skin where his pulse pounded closest to the surface and he groaned. “I can make my big tough cowboy go weak in the knees.”

“You love that power,” he murmured.

“I love that I can spend just as much time worshipping your chest with my hands and mouth as you do worshipping mine.”

Then she proved it. Mapping the cut of his muscles with her tongue. Licking and sucking. Doing that nuzzle and bite thing on his pectorals and his nipples that could make him shoot all over his belly.

“I love that this hard body of yours is mine to play with whenever I want. Other women still look at you and want you. I can’t help but feel a little smug that these muscle-bound arms are around me every night.” She feathered her thumb over his lips. “That this sinful, playful, skillful mouth knows every inch of my body.”

“That’s definitely…mmm for me.”

Carolyn locked her gaze to his. “Nothing in my sheltered life prepared me for what it means to love Carson McKay, the gorgeous blue-eyed cowboy, third generation Wyoming rancher, hell-raiser of the first order. But nothing in my sheltered life prepared me either for the way you look at me, for the way you love me. With everything you have, with everything you are. I can’t believe with all the women you could’ve had who understand this ranch stuff, you picked me to build a life with.” She pressed her cheek against his heart. “I’m grateful for you, for this life and sometimes I forget to tell you that.”

This sweet, wonderful woman gave him so much and got so little in return. “I’m getting the better end of the deal, trust me.”

They stayed entwined together.

“You must’ve worn Cord out,” she said. “He never naps this long.”

“He acted a little scared when me’n Dad had words.”

“Wasn’t the first time, won’t be the last.”

He stroked the curve of her hip. “So you sayin’ Cord had better get used to it?”

“You tell me. Our son is the first born of the fourth generation of McKays. If he chooses to stay in the family business, he’ll have the same types of things weighing on him that you do with your father.”

“I can promise I’ll never be like my dad was to me to our kids. Never.”

Carson shifted in the hospital chair.

That hadn’t been a promise he’d been able to keep. As much as he’d hoped things would improve with his father and the ranch over the next couple years, the situation deteriorated even more.

Chapter Twenty

Hospital, Day 3—morning

Carson stared out the window.

Again.

He’d done solitary work a good part of his life. Normally he had no problem spending time alone. But he was really sick and fucking tired of his own company.

You’ve done this to yourself, even if it’s for Carolyn’s benefit.

His kids were sticking together as far as he could tell. None of them had called. None had stopped by.

They’d all rallied around their mother during his surgery a few months back.

But Caro didn’t bar them from contact with you. Not even after you coded on the table for two minutes.

But it wasn’t the same.

The nurses left him alone—not that he expected them to entertain him. He’d never been much of a TV watcher, and having the boob tube on, even low volume, grated on his nerves. But he was so…bored he’d turned the damn thing on just for the company.

“Uncle Carson?”

He turned to see his nephew Quinn struggling with three bags. He crossed the small space. “Here, lemme help you.”

“Thanks. The nurses already checked them.”

Carson peered inside. The two heavy canvas bags contained stacks of magazines and the third bag food.

“Libby raided the retired periodical stacks at the public library, lookin’ for men’s magazines. But don’t be hopin’ for
Playboy
,” he said dryly.

“I’m afraid I was the blush and stammer type if I ever came across those, even in my youth.”

“Me too.”

“Tell Libby thanks. The distraction will be good. Not a helluva lot to do in here.”

“Ma made you a couple of sandwiches and other stuff. To ‘tide you over’, she said.”

“Vi’s gone above and beyond. Tell her thanks too.”

“Sure thing.” Then Quinn plopped down. “Go ahead and eat if you’re hungry.”

Carson remembered he hadn’t eaten today. “You’re sure? Looks like there’s plenty to share.”

“I just ate breakfast with Ben and Gavin. They wanted me to let you know that you’re in their thoughts.”

He nodded and removed the first sandwich—roast beef on rye—from the sandwich baggie and took a big bite.

Quinn rambled on about the ranch, not delving into anything too serious. Carson was grateful for the chatter while he polished off a sandwich and a slice of rhubarb pie. Vi’s pies had the tastiest crust—not that he’d ever tell his wife that.

“I probably shoulda told you first thing that Adam and Amelia are both one hundred percent healthy. I heard the docs are concerned about even a simple infection somehow getting to her.”

“That’s good, especially for you and Libby. In our house it seemed like one of the kids always had some kinda crap.”

Quinn grinned. “That’s because you had three times as many kids as we do, three times as many germ carriers.”

“My brothers reminded us of that when we were lookin’ for babysitters.”

“You’ll never catch me complaining about my kids. Me’n Lib waited a long damn time for those blessings. For a while there…I wasn’t sure we’d make it, especially not after I realized she was serious about kickin’ my ass out.” Quinn adjusted his hat. “Sorry to be babbling on. I forget all that past stuff with me’n Lib has passed through the McKay gossip channels and you know all about it.”

“Only because we’re aware that every couple has problems and we were glad to see you two worked it out.”

“No McKay couple that I know of hit the skids as hard as we did,” Quinn said.

Carson uncapped his second Dr. Pepper of the morning and drank. “That’s because you weren’t around when me’n Carolyn hit the skids.”

Arms crossed over his chest, Quinn looked as if he wanted to call bullshit on that statement. “Oh yeah? You and Aunt Carolyn?”

“Yep. The first year we were married was pretty rough, dealing with all the West/McKay family bullshit, and her mother bein’ so sick and dyin’. But we pulled through. Then we had Cord. Things were okay for a while after Colby was born, Round about years five and six, she threatened to kick my ass out on numerous occasions—every one justified, but I sweet-talked my way back into her good graces. Don’t get me wrong; I worked hard, but then I partied hard, leavin’ her alone with two kids. Real fuckin’ peach of a man I was during that time. I’d straighten up for a while, then go back to my same drinkin’ and fightin’ ways. Until she’d had enough. By that time we’d been married…about seven years.”

“Jesus, Uncle Carson, I had no idea.”

“No one does. Well, Cal and Kimi did because they lived close by and Cal had to deal with my drunken ass and Kimi with her sister’s tears. That was right before your mom came back and married your dad, so poor Charlie got sucked into bein’ my partner in crime sometimes.”

“You never told your kids?”

“Just Colt, and not the particulars, only to let him know I’d headed down that destructive path he’d been on. I’ve been of the mindset that problems between a husband and wife should be dealt with in private.” Then again, he hadn’t that luxury with Carolyn. Her blow-up had been very public.

“While normally I’d agree, in this case me’n Libby bein’ separated and then getting back together forced my mom to do some soul searching. Like you said, I wasn’t privy to my folks’ intimate relationship before that, I just know it affected their marriage for the better afterward.”

“And I’m glad of that too.”

Silence stretched between them for the first time since Quinn had sat down. When Carson glanced at the clock, he realized thirty minutes had passed. In ten minutes he could sit with Carolyn.

Quinn chuckled and rolled to his feet. “Guess I get the award for bringing the least amount of cheer into the waitin’ room, huh?”

“Nah. It’s good to reflect. And trust me; I’ve had plenty of time to think. No surprise that memory ain’t one I’m lookin’ to revisit.”

“Take care, Uncle C. Tell Aunt Carolyn we’re pullin’ for her. And if you need anything, call.”

He wouldn’t call, but he appreciated the offer. “Thanks Quinn. Give my best to Libby and tell her thanks.”

“Will do.”

Carson used the bathroom and returned to staring out the window, counting the minutes.

It seemed forever before he heard, “Okay, Mr. McKay. Let’s get you suited up.”

This time when he entered the room he loomed over her, studying her beautiful face, rather than just plopping down by her bedside.

“Hey, sugar. I’m here beside you. I know you can hear me. I
need
you to hear me. Come back to me. I need you to know that I’m right here, I ain’t goin’ anywhere.

“Not that I’m talkin’ about anything earthshattering while I’m in here.” He caressed her forearm. Then he dropped onto the rolling stool. “Quinn brought by some magazines. Maybe I’ll find a fascinating article to talk about. I heard the docs say it’s the sound of a familiar voice, not the words that are said, that matters, but I think that’s a bunch of horseshit. I want you to hear what I’m sayin’.

“Vi sent me food. Sweet of her. It was good—not as good as yours, but I’m thinkin’ you won’t be up for cookin’ after you wake up and we bust you outta here. Somehow Quinn got on the subject of the problems he and Libby had a few years back. He seemed embarrassed by it so I said that we’d been married a few years when I about fucked it all up. And yes, I told him the blame landed square on me. I hadn’t thought about it in years, so I’m hopin’ that time in our married life is a blur to you…”

Carolyn had been bobbing along in the dark currents of her mind, her thoughts disappearing beneath the surface as soon as she had them. Then she’d hear his voice and pop back up, fighting the undertow. It wasn’t lost on her that she was swimming against the tide—but she’d never learned how to swim.

She flailed around until she latched onto the memory, praying it’d keep her afloat in this pseudo-reality for a little while longer because even bad memories were better than no memories at this point…

“Mama.”

Carolyn turned from the stove. She adjusted Colby on her hip and looked at Cord, playing with his barnyard animal set on the living room floor. “Whatcha need, sweetheart?”

“When’s Daddy comin’ home?”

Good question. As it was well past dark the man should’ve been home two hours ago. “I don’t know. Maybe something came up.” Lying to herself was one thing, but she didn’t want to lie to her son about why Daddy preferred to spend his evenings elsewhere.

Carson McKay, you are in for it when you stumble your drunken self home.

During the slow season, her husband spent a few evenings a week in town. Having a few drinks and laughs with other ranchers, guys he’d known all his life. Carolyn didn’t begrudge him that time. The man worked hard throughout the year and deserved to kick back.

But in the past, he’d always gone out with Cal. Since Kimi was seven months pregnant with twins, Cal went straight home to his wife every night.

Remember when Carson used to do that?

Yes. Even after Cord had been born he’d rather be home with them than chugging beer with his buddies, even for one night.

When had that changed?

During her second pregnancy. After his fight with his father.

Caring for Cord all day and the constant nausea and tiredness with baby number two had given her less energy for her husband. Carson’s weekly trip to the Silver Spur had changed into twice a week.

Then after Colby’s birth, in addition to taking care of a two-year-old and a baby, she tended their enormous garden, took on sewing projects for Maxine, and with Agnes’s encouragement, she’d become involved with Ladies Circle at St. Ignatius.

So the fact Carson could entertain himself seemed like a blessing. Then last year after Kimi returned to Wyoming, had a whirlwind affair with Cal, ended up pregnant and married and practically living next door, she spent her free time with her sister. Carson didn’t seem to mind, and even if he had she would’ve happily pointed out all the time he spent outside ranch work with his brothers.

But it hadn’t come up.

They’d been married seven years. They had a five-year-old, a three-year-old and—she placed her hand over her belly—another one on the way. Something she hadn’t told her husband because he hadn’t been around lately.

The sound of stomping boots brought her out of her woolgathering. She glanced over to see Cord reaching for the door handle.

“Whoa there, little buckaroo. What’s the rule?”

“Don’t go outta the house without askin’.”

“Right. So what are you doing?”

Cord’s sweet face formed a scowl. “Mama, I asked if I could go lookin’ for Daddy and you didn’t say nothin’.”

“Because I didn’t say no you figured that meant yes?”

He nodded.

She’d have to be much more literal with her boys from here on out. “Sweetie, your daddy isn’t close by.”

“Why not? Where is he?”

“I’ll call Uncle Cal and see if I can’t find out.” She kissed Colby’s forehead. “Play with your brother.”

Another scowl.

Just as she reached for the phone to call Kimi, it rang. Sometimes it was uncanny how much she and her sister had the same train of thought. “McKays.”

“Carolyn. It’s Francine. How are you?”

Not her sister, but the head of the Ladies Circle, calling to discuss the care packages they’d been assembling for missionary purposes. “I’m fine, Francine. How are you?”

A pause. “I’m doing well, thanks for asking. And I have…something that I need to discuss with you.”

She knew they needed another coordinator for catechism class, but she really couldn’t add another thing to her duties. “I’d be happy to talk about it next week after the meeting; right now—”

“Carolyn, dear, this has nothing to do with your volunteering at the church. This is personal. And I feel the need to preface this by saying I’m not telling you this out of malice or spite. This isn’t some two-bit gossip I’m passing along thirdhand. This is something I witnessed myself, just last night.”

“What?”

“I saw your husband with another woman.”

Her lungs and her vocal chords seized up, but somehow she managed to squeak out, “Where?”

“We had supper at the Silver Spur. I had to use the facilities and when I passed the back room, I saw Carson.” A pause. “With some woman.”

“Who?”

“To be completely honest, I’m not sure who the woman was. It was dark back there. And they were…” She cleared her throat. “Cozied up together is the simplest way to put it.”

Carolyn half sat/half fell onto a kitchen chair. “You’re sure it was Carson?”

“I wouldn’t be calling you if I wasn’t sure. I wrestled with telling you, but I thought you’d want to know. I know I would if it were me.”

Her head spun. Carson. Her Carson. The man who claimed to love her more than anything, the man who swore he’d spend his life making her happy…was cheating on her?

The bottom fell out of her world.

Francine said, “I haven’t told another soul. Trust me, I won’t. I hope it’s a misunderstanding and I saw the situation out of context.”

“I hope so too, Francine.”

“If you need anything,
anything
,” she stressed, “please call me.”

“I will. And thank you for your honesty and your discretion. I’ll get to the bottom of it right away.”

“Blessings to you dear, you’re in my prayers.”

As soon as Carolyn hung up, the sick feeling that’d taken root grew ugly, thorny stems and began to spread. She folded her arms on the kitchen table and laid down her head, squeezing her eyes shut against a flood of tears.

Had her attention to the boys, and her sister, and her other responsibilities driven him into another woman’s arms?

She scrolled back the past week or so, trying to remember if Carson had acted weird. Or guilty.

He’d been freshly showered when he came to bed last night.

To wash off the scent of another woman’s perfume?

She’d chalked up his distance to him being tired and stressed about money.

You’re making excuses for him.

No. But she hadn’t been much of a wife to him lately either.

And how is that? You cook for him, you wash his clothes, clean his house and raise his children.