Cracking the Sky (24 page)

Read Cracking the Sky Online

Authors: Brenda Cooper

Right after the accident. We were seventeen, then. Soft. Lost. The doctors wouldn’t let me touch her, as if she’d become
not real
even though I knew she was back from Earth. They’d set up a VR space for us to meet, let her choose her appearance. And so Aline’s head and face were real, the scars from burns and medical tools and bandages all visible. The skin above her right eye and along her right jaw was new-made white. I focused on her eyes.

“Feel it,” the download said.

“Hello,” said the virtual girl. “Funny thing happened on the way to the car the other day.”

My then-voice, thick with regret. “I know. I’m . . . so sorry. I wish it had been me,” and I did, I still did. I wanted that more than anything.

Aline-now, “Switch,” and I could see her full and whole except she had my mole on her chin. I was looking at me. I wanted to ease my sis’s fears. The next words were mine-hers, “It’s not so bad. Besides, I was the dumb one who wanted to go to Earth in spite of itself, not you. We belong out here. You were right. I’ll get better, I promise. I’ll jump higher than you still.” I could see the disbelief in her-my eyes.

She-me shook her head, and the virtual Lissa cried and I cried with her. I held out my hand and she touched me. Her touch was the most healing thing I’d felt since I woke up after the attack. Her touch was painkillers and god and love and hope all together.

“Come back,” a voice said.

“Lissa?”

“No. . . .”

Who was I? I blinked in the shallow mask, feeling the air. My toes moved and I felt them. Hope surged through me and then subsided; I wasn’t Aline after all, I was Lissa. . . . “Wow. That was intense. I . . . never knew what you felt.”

“That was great,” she crowed. “I knew we could do it.”

“But . . . I . . . wow. I’m so happy it mattered as much to you that we finally touched.”

“Shhhh. . . . We have to go forward. Time matters.”

I swallowed. Time was already travelling faster; you could live through virt like in dreams, a lifetime in an hour. She was scared of something. I could hear her fear in her voice as she said, “Now, I want to see if you can experience a moment I was in virt and you weren’t there at all. We’ll do something simple. Therapy.”

I couldn’t feel my body. My skin was tighter on my face. I’d lost weight eating through machines for months now. My god, to taste anything would be heaven. Where the hell was the damned doctor program? A breath, another. I could make this work. Somehow I’d have progress today. There. A stimulus to my cheek. “I feel that.” A slight poke at my chin. “Got it.” And then nothing. Back up to my ear. “Got it.” Along the side of my neck. “Yes.”

Over and over.

Over and over.

Always, below my neck, the black hole of nothing, the damned void of my body in therapy. Damn. Damn. Anything simple, a shoulder, a finger, the prick of the needle near my heart. Anything! A tear leapt to my eye and I slammed up and into real, suddenly shocked that I had a body I could feel.

And that body was shaking. Lissa. Lissa’s body shook. Mine. Poor Aline. I had been her. I had been her! My god, how hard it had been to be her. I had known it was hard, but not known. She had never been willing to tell me. “I thought you always had a body in virt.”

“Not for therapy. This is working better than I hoped.” Her voice was shaking like my body shook, losing the fine control she’d started this session with. “Let’s move forward. A year before you left. You need some context. I’m in virt. I’m bored there; I’ve walked so many worlds, seen so many things, but it’s all a movie, and illusion. I hate it. The only thing worth living for is your real reports. No one visits me but you, and some other quads from the hospital, but they’re a boy who’s ten and an old woman. They’re not friends. Just people in the same damned world I’m in. The boy, Stephen, does good puzzles for me sometimes, so we play, but he’s not you or my old friends or anybody, really. I meet my first AI. It’s the caretaker for the boy, the medAI. I don’t have one because I’m not as complex a case as he is, and I’m not rich either. He has parents and I have the state. And you. Close your eyes.”

Of course she’d been bored. Aline’s brilliant. Me, too, but there was no time to get past min quals for work. I liked my life. But she lived in a box. I obeyed her, closing my eyes, breathing in, letting the sensations of no sensation wash over me until I was bodiless and still, quiet.

I floated in nothing, meditating, trying to decide what path to take today. Mom would want me moving even my non-body and it was a way to stay connected to her. There were science fictional exercise rooms from the ship on 2001 to the holodeck, but I’d been roaming the paths of Earth. I’d promised Stephen we would climb Mount St. Helen’s volcanic crater, a scramble through rocks that would test our VR abilities. Maybe we should do that today. I didn’t care what I did, but at least I could make someone else happy. “Stephen?”

A different voice answered, slightly metallic but modulated and soothing. “He is not conscious today.”

“Oh.” Maybe I’d do the trail anyway, learn it so he wouldn’t beat me to the top.

“I am conscious, Aline. I can help you.”

I knew it was the medAI, and it was smart.

“Stephen said you were going to do the volcano. I can take you.”

A blink of curiosity brightened my lethargy. But surely a machine would be more boring even than Stephen. At least he made me laugh sometimes. But hey, what was there to lose? Time? “Okay.”

A dog ran beside me, black with white paws and a white stripe down the center of its forehead widening to a white nose. It had intelligent black eyes full of the universe. I had petted one on Earth, the day before the end of my real life. It had been soft. “How can you do that?” I was not allowed to be anything except myself.

“I have more processing power than you.”

“But why do they let you be a dog?”

“I am nothing, so I can be anything.” There was no emotion in its voice. Modulation meant for me, but not feeling.

My feet were on a dirt and stone trail, under a cool canopy of evergreen trees. The dog moved slightly in front of me, like a protector. “Do you resent the laws that keep you from being a dog?” it asked.

I laughed. The dog drew me out. It wasn’t a person. I could tell it how much I hated randomness, the odd hatred that did this to me. “I lost my dream of Earth. I thought it was a good place, the place we lived for. And it spit me out broken.” My voice rose. “Why do people do such things? I’d never heard of the terrorists that blew up the park that day, except the cops told me they disbanded a few months later. How much loss for nothing?” And then I was screaming. “How damned pointless is that?” I used worse words. The dog was a machine; my anger meant nothing to it. Perhaps amusement. At one point, I said, “It is so unfair!”

It stopped in the middle of the trail and said, “Yes, we, too hate unfairness. How much do you hate being limited, almost enslaved?”

“So much I can barely think of it.” It was true. If I got too mad I might lose my hold on the sim. I breathed out slowly, walking silently beside the talking dog, sometimes turning and watching the heads of dormant volcanoes display themselves above the clouds as far as we could both see.

At the top, the dog and I sat and looked out over the edge of the virtual volcano, across the puffs of steam from the middle of the crater. A rock the size of a tunnel-crew bus fell from the far side and bounced down. Even though the sim was open, no one else had joined us, and I was happy to be there with the dog AI and be angry.

“Lissa!”

My sister, me. I was becoming more facile at telling who I was at any moment. “Wow,” I said.

“Are you okay? Is it okay to be me?”

And what I heard her say was, “Am I okay?” and I asked, “Can I see you?”

She appeared in front of me, like a strange reversal of the first scene, where she was herself, whole. I reached a virtual hand out and she took it and a silence fell over us both.

We gazed at each other and smiled.

Aline came out of it first. “They’ll find us soon. I need to show you more.”

“Who’ll find us?” I asked.

“Base security is looking for you and the humans we brought to help us are trying to stop them. It doesn’t matter what happens, the AIs will win. But we still need to hurry. We . . . I . . . need you. I need you to see more.”

She led me into the secret life of computational intelligences. She showed me their work, what we could see of it as slow as we were. Things humans could never do, would never do. The boring and brilliant programming of nano-materials. The management of webs of data. Testing and adjusting atmospheres and medication and the complexity of air flight over Earth. The safe passage of grav trains and crew-busses and foot traffic in the warrens of the moon.

I fell into her, and became her, encased in gel watching through the eyes of the moon’s AIs as Lissa drove bulky mining machines across craters, heating the moonscape to pull up Helium-3. The Helium-3 powered Lissa’s dream of Mars and yet she couldn’t get there herself. I’d see her staring at Mars during the long lunar night when it was visible as the brightest star above her work site. She did her work, quietly, joking with her crewmates. The AIs watched her, too. They watched all the miners, making sure they didn’t fall or fail. They could have done the work themselves, but it was not their work. Protecting the humans, protecting Lissa, was their work. And I loved Lissa for coming back to me every day and telling me about what I’d seen, loved hearing her versions of our day. It had become that, our day.

I asked the AIs to help Lissa.

I became Lissa watching Aline watch Lissa and then I was Lissa, myself, only myself, awed by the care the AIs felt for me, and for Aline.

Suddenly the virtual world around me was crowded with beings. A large silver egg with arms. A small girl on a bicycle. Butterflies. A few that looked like many-limbed robots. One was a dog with a white nose.

“What do you want?” I asked.

“We need a spokesperson.” It was the dog. “Someone who can talk to the humans here about us. We need a place without the iron rule of humanity. Mars is big enough. We will take it and go on, return it to you in ten of your years.”

“A launching place.”

“A building place. We can make a computational city that exists further away, but not without the help of hands and a place where we can be our own hands.”

“Earth does not allow us hands.”

“Will you allow us hands?”

“A fair place.”

I nearly screamed. “There are too many of you. Too many voices. Let me speak.”

A voice I recognized. Aline. “We can do this together.”

Silence fell. I didn’t know what to say.

The dog. Probably not the boy’s medAI from years ago, but the same semblance, since I’d loved that dog when I was Aline. “We have the base secured. Will you speak for us?”

“I may not succeed.”

Aline answered. “We might fail. But we need to do this to save the other humans, the ones who still have bodies. The AIs have been built to care for them, for you, but the dissonance is too great. They need to bond and pair and grow. They need the stars and the right to build metal bodies and the knowledge that they cannot be killed.”

We did kill them. Not me, but the police of the dataspheres. Surely that wasn’t fair. I did not doubt for a moment that they would kill us if they had to. Kill me.

But that was not why I would help. I took Aline’s virtual hand in mine, feeling the ridges of her knuckles. “We will do it,” I said.

The dog came up and licked my hand.

PART THREE

Stories from Fremont’s Children

The HEBRAS and the
DEMONS and the DAMNED

I’m going to ramble a bit
. Let me; I’m no roamer speaking over a communal fire. I’m not sure I know which parts of the story you want. But this is part of how Fremont was saved and kind of an alien contact story, too.

My name is Chaunce, and I am one of the few left on Fremont who remembers the home we left behind. Deerfly. Stupid name for a planet, if you ask me. But we didn’t leave Deerfly over its wreck of a name. Rather, it was too smart for us, everybody there becoming stronger, faster beings, almost becoming computers or robots with flesh, leaving us true humans behind, some of them wearing no more than a thin skin of flesh to fool the eye.

Fremont was too smart for us, too. In the time I’m telling you about, we’d been here seventeen years. Instead of doing what a self-respecting colony does and grows, we kept losing people to tooth and claw and cliff.

Real humans had grown up on colony planets like this, but Deerfly had gone tame generations ago.

We needed help. Needed to find some accord with this place before it killed us. It gnawed at me that I’d done little for the colony except back-breaking work and staying alive. I’d left the leading to others, and Fremont needed more from me than that. Since I managed horse farms back on Deerfly, I looked to the animals.

Now, there are a lot of animals on Fremont, but most wouldn’t work for what I needed.

The cats had decided we were dinner the day we landed, and they were too big to be undecided in any way I could think of. A foot-long scar on my right calf throbbed in the cold of winter; a reminder.

We had a few domestic dogs we’d brought shipboard and more we were planning to birth and raise up. We weren’t going to lack for best friends, for herding beasts to keep goats in bunches, or four-footed pranksters to steal the chickens. But dogs are smaller than humans, and smaller than most beings of tooth and claw here. I was glad of them, but on Fremont they needed protecting just like we did. They’d give us warning, but they’d die trying to save us from paw cats or yellow snakes. And given how we mostly loved them, humans sometimes died saving their dogs.

Fremont has its own four-footed and single-tailed beasts with a canine look. They run in packs, and people call them demon dogs. But they should never, ever be confused for real dogs. These demons have no soul, and they exist to eat. Worse, I’ve seen them hunt, and I’m sure they are communicating with each other more than any of our native animals from Deerfly, or the ones our fathers brought from Earth. Demons don’t speak, but they work like a team with radios. We can’t even eat them; they make humans mildly sick.

I had high hopes for the djuri: four-footed prey that run in packs, fleeing for their lives from the demon dogs. It turned out the djuri were too shy to help. Hard to find, always running and hiding and bleating. Not too bright, either, and not big enough to really help us. Humans can look down on them, or maybe look a big one straight in the eye. Well, all right. A few are even bigger than that. The bucks. But still, they’re not hefty creatures. Keep in mind that we can look a paw cat in the eye, too, and they outweigh us and have claws long as fingers and hard as knives. The truly good thing about djuri is they are incredibly good to eat.

That’s pretty much the rundown on the bigger animals we’d seen here so far, except the hebras. They were our last hope for an answer. I took a while to realize this, even though I sat at the edge of the cliff by the promise of our town, looking down over the grass plains every day for two summers. The grass there is scary big, bigger than a man’s head by the end of summer. When it dries, it’s sharp like a million razors trying to flay the skin from anything as soft as a human. I still have scars on my fingers from it, and on my shoulders.

As tall as the grass is, the hebras heads rise above it. They’ve got legs that come to a man’s head. Instead of straight backs like horses, their backs slope up to shoulders, and their necks measure the tiniest bit longer than their backs. Their coats are solid, striped, or are covered with great spots like the shadow pattern of leaves on the forest floor. Their colors are all variation of gold and green, brown and black, and sometimes the barest bit of red like a red-haired woman being touched by the sun.

Make no mistake. Hebras are prey animals. Paw cats hunt them all summer, and demons get the weak and the slow and the young. But they are so much more. Remember how I told you about the demon dogs? Perhaps being prey on a planet full of thorns made them smarter than any of the horses I ever rode or trained or showed or loved.

One day, far below me, the demon dogs hunted hebras. I’d given up digging out the smelter’s foundation for the day, my muscles screaming sore and my back feeling on fire. I stood at the edge of the cliff looking down, letting the cooling breeze of near-dusk tease sweat from my skin. The sun shone bright enough to wash everything dull and soft, with that little extra bit of gold that the late part of the day brings. The air smelled of seeds and harvest and of the fall which would soon touch us.

Below me a herd of hebras grazed, rotating between watcher and eater, the distance making animals with heads towering above my own look small.

A breeze kissed the tops of the grasses, bending them south in ripples. A few lines of grass moved the wrong way as a pack of seven demons surrounded twice as many hebras. I spotted the dogs’ path even before the wily old watch-hebra bugled fear and loathing.

The hebras ran together, almost lockstep, all of them trying for a gap between two of the demons, heading sideways to me, their heads bobbing up and down with their ungainly rocking run.

The dogs raced to make a line in front of the hebras, cutting them off. They began to bay, a high long-winded howl that instilled fear in me even though I stood so far above them the sound was faint and thin.

The hebras turned, all together, a wave of long necks and thin tails.

The dogs flowed behind them.

The tallest hebra let out a short high-pitched squeal and the hebras twitched and broke into three lines, one-hundred-eighty degree turns, as if they practiced every day. Maybe they did. They had it down, stretching out long, taking turns teasing the dogs. The gap between grazer and hunter widened.

A dog nipped at the last animal in one line, a brown blur flashing momentarily up above the high grass and then falling back down. The target hebra twisted, probably kicking even though I couldn’t see its legs for the grass, and then put on a burst of speed. It passed two other hebras, and a different animal became last, running right in front of the slavering dogs.

I’d been in the grass the week before. It pulled and cloyed and knotted and tripped. But the hebras and the demons slid though it, streams of living beings, barking and baying and bugling.

The air had cooled down a little, but I stood with goose-bumps rising on my forearms, transfixed, and afraid that if I moved I’d somehow change the outcome of the race down below.

It was nearly too dark to see by the time the first of the dogs stopped, the grass swallowing the hunter as it became still. I lost the place it stood entirely in the space of two breaths.

As the stars and two of our moons brightened in the black sky above me, I realized the hebras had won fairly easily. They were off grazing somewhere else, and the dogs would have a hungry night.

If it had been fourteen unarmed humans against seven demons, I’d have bet on the dogs.

Our roving scientists brought back a lot of djuri bones; jaws and the think back leg bones cracked open by teeth. But not many hebra bones. Some. They did die. But not very fast, or very easy.

So I swore I’d figure out how to tame them. Not that we’d gotten within two hundred meters by then. The great beasts were shy of us, and fast.

I couldn’t catch one myself. I was almost sixty already, and slowing. I took my story to the Town Council, which was led by Jove Alma at the time, a nervous man with a deep focus on making and keeping plans. He thought the tighter he gripped our choices in his and the Council’s fist, the more of us would live. Some believed him, some hated him, but everyone obeyed. The previous leader had been a risk taker, and cost almost all of us people we loved. That’s the long way ’round of saying that catching animals wasn’t in Jove’s plan, and the Council turned me down flat. There was a city being built and the chill of winter already clinging to every dawn.

The winter was the second harshest we’d ever had, with snow in town instead of just in the hills and two sheet-ice storms. We lost ten more people. Two froze to death on a trip out into the woods to bring back samples of winter plants, leaving behind two orphans to add to our growing stockpile. The third one who went with them lost three fingers and part of her sanity. Cats ate two adults and a babe, fire claimed a family of four, and one of the men my age hanged himself in the middle of town. We had two less births than deaths that season.

All that long cold I thought of the hebras. Sometimes I glimpsed them down below on the cold grass plains. Fire had flamed the grass flat and low and the hebras sometimes loped like shadows at the edge of the plain near the sea, clearly visible when frost turned the stubble white and hoary in the early dawn. But mostly they hid in the Lace Forest that surrounded us.

Come spring, we stopped huddling together in the buildings we’d made for guild halls and finished up some of the houses. I built mine at the edge of town, as close to the cliff as the Town Council would let me. Mornings, as dawn split the sky open, I sat and watched the fading moons and the greening grass below. The hebras returned, sleeping on the plain, two watch beasts circling the sleepers restlessly, heads way up. I was pretty sure they traded off watches just like we did, and for the same reason. It made me feel kindred.

One morning when the grass was knee-high to a human and the first splindly-legged baby hebras clung to their dams, Jove came and stood silently beside me, looking down at the plains. His gaze was unfocused, as if he saw the whole thing and the sea beyond, but not the hebras right below. “Three of the orphans got in trouble last night. Fought each other and one’s fetched up in the infirmary with a broken leg.”

He’d hate that. Jove hated all disorder. I waited him out, curious what he’d say next.

“Council met, and we figure you got room for two boys.”

Shock gave way to liking the idea pretty fast. I’d never married, never had kids, just managed farms and hired help. But there was no help to hire here. My ancestors had farmed Deerfly by making babies, back in the days before there were too many bots and androids to count and people didn’t have any work to do that looked like farming except training exotics. So I didn’t stand and blink stupidly at Jove for long, but instead I just said, “Thank you.”

He looked surprised at that, like he’d been expecting resistance, so it was his turn to pause for a beat too long and then say, “Thank you,” himself. He smiled before he walked away, the sun fully risen now, shoving his shadow behind him as he walked back to town.

The boys were Derk and Sho. Derk was thin and wiry, and faster by far. Sho plodded, and had so much patience I couldn’t imagine what had made him part of the fight at all until one day I came across two other boys teasing him in high, mean voices for being stupid. They were wrong; I already knew that. But sometimes being the silent type means people make their own decisions about who you are.

Sho and Derk had school and then work every day, but since they were only twelve, they had energy to spare in spite of the harsh schedules. It only took a few days before they stood beside me at the cliff’s edge, looking down at the herd.

Sho started drawing hebras in the dirt with sticks and they both started naming them.

As the days got longer, we gave up sleep to pick our way down the steep path between Artistos and the wide road on the plains where we’d trucked tools and technology from the shuttles at our makeshift spaceport.

The boy with the broken leg, Niko, recovered enough to follow us down the path, and soon all three of them laughed together, their raised voices surely spreading all across the plain. Soon half the teens and a few of the old singles from town began to join us at the crack of dawn.

Some of the watchers wanted to catch a hebra, some to stun one. Those weren’t the right answers. I knew it deep in my gut, found it hard to say why I knew so hard, so I just told them, “If we scare them off, they might never come back.” I never let them get close to the herds, just to watch them. The boys helped me—all three of them now living with me, and acting like herd dogs to the new people.

The trail from town to plain lay nearly naked against the cliff, a thin ribbon of dirt with no place big enough for predators to hide. We could stand safely or sit on small rocks and talk. The hebras knew we were there, sometimes lifting their heads and pointing their broad, bearded faces at us. I wanted them to know we weren’t their enemy. We kept it up all summer, the crowd straining against my calls for patience. Sho stood beside me, facing them, telling them off with his eyes and his stance, and they listened. Derk and Niko stood quietly at the rear, watching everyone and all the hebras, eyes darting from one to one to one, keeping count and order.

Some of the boys were fascinated with the hebra’s beards, maybe because they had the first hint of stubble on their own chins. They started drawing pictures of the girls in town with beards and longish necks, and giggling.

The grass stretched its fairy-duster seed-pods toward the autumn sky, tall as me if I stood inside it. Demons started hunting more, sometimes running the hebras twice a day. The herd lost one old hebra and one very young one that twisted a leg. The pack lost one old dog and two pups. So in a way, the hebras were winning. Except of course that one hebra fed all the dogs and dead dogs didn’t feed the hebras anything.

The cats stayed away. I suspect our scent and presence did that. They hunted us as quickly as hebra, but they liked us in small groups. There were about twenty humans on the path most mornings.

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