The Extraordinary Adventures of Ordinary Boy, Book One: The Hero Revealed
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Authors: William Boniface
Tags: #ebook, #book
For Chris Anderson,
To add to your collection.
CONTENTS
The Astoundingly Unbelievable Secret Origin of Ordinary Boy
Sure, it sounds like a great opening title, but the reality is, well … I’m ordinary. I know you’re thinking, “What’s the big deal? So are most people. That’s why it’s called being ordinary.” The problem is, I live in a place where absolutely no one is ordinary. It’s called Superopolis, and, as you might guess with a name like that, this is a city where everyone has some sort of superpower.
Nobody knows why everyone here has a power. Maybe it’s something in the water. Or maybe there’s a radioactive meteor buried under the city. Everyone here also eats a lot of potato chips, but I doubt that has anything to do with it. Whatever the cause, it clearly has no effect on me.
You’re probably wondering by now what my real name is. Well, I’m wondering, too. You see, in Superopolis, everyone’s name has something to do with his or her superpower. It doesn’t take too long before a baby starts showing some sort of power—like being able to float, for instance. Then the parents will probably start calling him Floating Baby. They may come up with something a little more original if they happen to be clever—but, frankly, most people aren’t. Then, when he gets older, he’ll become Floating Boy, and as an adult he’ll be known as Floating Man. Get it? That’s what happened to me. My parents waited around a long time to give me a name, but all they could say about me was “He’s so ordinary.” So it stuck, and Ordinary Boy I am.
This is my entry in the
Li’l Hero’s Handbook
. Inspiring, isn’t it? In spite of what it says about me (which I have to admit is basically correct), the handbook is really pretty fantastic. It gives all sorts of handy information on the people, places, and things of Superopolis. I carry it with me constantly.
NAME:
Ordinary Boy.
POWER:
None.
LIMITATIONS:
Where do we begin?
CAREER:
Currently enrolled in Watson Elementary; member of the Junior Leaguers.
CLASSIFICATION:
Unique among Superopolitans, Ordinary Boy’s lack of any power earns him our sympathy.
As the handbook makes abundantly clear, everyone here, except for me, has a superpower. The thing is, though, they only have
one
power. You won’t find some guy who can fly
and
has X-ray vision
and
is strong enough to lift a truck. It just doesn’t work that way. It’s one power and one power only. Sadly, just as with looks, talent, and brains, the powers that people end up with are hardly equal.
Some folks have an awesome power, like the Amazing Indestructo, who can’t be harmed by anything. And I mean
anything
! There isn’t even some goofy, arbitrary substance—like, say, cottage cheese—that he’s vulnerable to. He’s the leader of Superopolis’s most popular group of superheroes, the League of Ultimate Goodness. We never hear much about the other members because the Amazing Indestructo gets all the attention.
On the other hand, there are plenty of people who have powers that are less impressive, like this kid in my class named Puddle Boy. He can create puddles wherever he wants, but who cares? And, to be honest, I’m not entirely certain what those puddles are even made of. Ick! Some things are better left unknown.
Most powers fall somewhere in between, like the Green Thumb, who can make plants grow instantly and owns a successful landscaping business here in
NAME:
Amazing Indestructo, The.
POWER:
Invulnerable to all harm.
LIMITATIONS:
None. Oh, to be so perfect!
CAREER:
Leader of the League of Ultimate Goodness for nearly twenty-five years.
CLASSIFICATION:
Superopolis’s greatest hero.*
*SELF-PROCLAIMED.
Superopolis. Even the folks with a lesser power usually find some way to make a living off it. After all, not everyone can grow up to become a crime-fighting superhero—although, of course, that’s what every kid in Superopolis wants to be.
As babies, our silk diapers double as our first costumes. By the time we’re walking we’ve begun wearing tights; and once we reach school age, accessories like capes, belts, and masks have become part of every kid’s wardrobe. Even the people who don’t go on to careers as crime fighters still wear a costume of some kind. Except for me. Since I don’t have any kind of power at all, I usually just wear jeans and a T-shirt.
As it says in my profile, I’m part of a team called the Junior Leaguers. It includes Halogen Boy, who glows brighter depending on the amount of apple juice he’s been drinking; Tadpole, who can stick his tongue out as far as twenty feet; Plasma Girl, who can turn herself into this goopy jelly-like substance—and then there’s Stench. Everything about this guy is strong, especially … well, I’ll bet you can gas—uh, I mean guess from his name.