Crave Me (The Good Ol' Boys #4) (15 page)

“You want to judge me and point fingers? People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones…” I mocked in a tone he didn’t appreciate.

“Stop speaking in code and just fucking spit it out already,” Jacob demanded.

“You want to talk about how I’m living my life? Tell me that I’m fucking up? Well, shit, Jacob, why don’t you look in the goddamn mirror?”

He jerked back like I had punched him in the face, and now I was going to take him down.

“I saw you. I saw it all. I was there that night.”

“What night?”

“The Cove,” I simply stated.  

His eyes widened, all the color draining from his face.

“What’s the matter, Jacob? Cat got your tongue?” I taunted.

Dylan looked back and forth between us. “What the fuck is he talking about?”

“Should I tell him?” I baited, nodding toward Dylan.

I knew the night was replaying over in Jacob’s mind as I stood in front of him.

“Oh, come on, Jacob, we’re all friends here, right? Isn’t that what you just said to me. What are secrets between friends?”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he finally gritted out, his jaw clenching.

“I don’t? Well, then why don’t I refresh your memory and let Dylan decide if I’m right or wrong. You see… Dylan,” I ridiculed, still only looking at him.

“Jacob here isn’t who he thinks he is. Holding himself up on a goddamn pedestal when he should be buried in the ground for what he wants to do. See, I was in town a few weeks ago, hanging out at The Cove downtown. I saw someone that looked like Luca’s baby sister and to my surprise it was actually her.”

Dylan shut his eyes like he knew what the next words out of my mouth were going to be. It was then I realized we all kept secrets from each other.

“So, of course, I made my way toward her. She was dry humping some cocksucker on the dance floor. I would have never thought the girl I saw as a little sister my whole life could move like that. It made me sick to watch it. What did it do to you, Jacob?”

His fists clenched at his sides.

“Then out of nowhere I see this guy haul ass through the crowd. I’m getting ready to throw down if some other motherfucker even lays a finger on her. Except, I’m nearly knocked on my ass when I see Jacob appear like her knight in shining armor. Isn’t that right? After you proceeded to kick the guy’s ass, I’m about to walk over and pat you on the fucking back for a job well done, but Lily shoves you and takes off like a bat out of Hell. Jacob here not far behind her.”

He tried to remain calm, but each word that came out of my mouth made him more aware of how fucked up the situation was.

“So I followed you. Both of you. Would you like to tell Dylan what I saw? Or should I do the honors?”

He shut his eyes, the shame immediately filling his body.

“I watched you pretty much attack her in a parking lot on the side of a goddamn SUV. Tell me, bro, do little girls get you hard?”

“Enough,” Dylan interjected, taking the words right out of Jacob’s mouth. I didn’t know if it was for his benefit or Jacob’s, but I assumed it was both.

“Yeah... try watching it. Maybe Jacob can give you a private show like he gave me?”

“Austin,” Jacob warned on his last thread.

I cocked my head to the side. “Or do you only get hard when you think no one is watching?”

He narrowed his eyes at me. I didn’t falter.

“It’s all good, Jacob, as long as there’s grass on the field, I say play ball.”

He cold-cocked me straight in the jaw. My face swayed back from the impact of his fist, but my body didn’t move. I was expecting it. Bracing myself for it. 

“You can say whatever the fuck you want about me, but you talk about Lily like that again, and I will lay you the fuck out, Austin. I don’t give a fuck who you are.” He shook out his hand, the pain traveling up his arm.

I leaned over, spitting out blood on the grass. Glaring up at him. “Truth hurts don’t it, motherfucker?”

He stepped toward me and Dylan held him back, stepping in between us.

“Get out of here, Austin,” Dylan ordered.

I looked at him, surprised and dismayed. I couldn’t believe after what I told him he was taking Jacob’s fucking side. I know I only saw Jacob kiss Lily against the SUV that night but fuck, if that would have been me instead, they would have crucified me.

“The Good Ol’ Boys, huh? Yeah… you don’t have to tell me twice,” I viciously spewed, backing away still facing them.

I wanted to remember them just like that. So if I ever missed home, I would always remember that there was no home.

To go back to. 

I swallowed two blue pills stamped with stars and I wanted to dance. I couldn’t remember the last time I closed my eyes for more than a few seconds other than to feel the euphoria coursing through me. I rode the high for as long as I could.

Hours…

Days…

It all blended together.

The crowd of the club got louder, heavier, deeper.

Except when you’re a Martinez, you don’t worry about any of that. You’re up in VIP, in a private section, closed off, partying with whoever the fuck you want.

I brought the party.

I stood on the balcony swaying my hips, watching the people dancing below through dazed and tainted eyes. Loving life, living in the moment, letting the beat take over them.

Not a care in this fucked up world.

The darkness in my soul consumed me, overshadowing the high that I so desperately wanted to hold onto.

All that was left was emptiness.

Next thing I knew I was opening my car door, my sound system blasting ‘
Silence
’ by Delirium through the speakers. Thumping loud and hard into my veins, mimicking the pounding in my heart and the ringing in my ears. As if she was talking just to me.

Just. For. Me.

Feeling
me
.

Possessing
me
.

Silencing me
.

I pulled my car over on the side of the road. I grabbed my ear buds and plugged them into my phone, slipping it into my back pocket. Not wanting the music to stop as I walked toward the Brooklyn Bridge. It was one of the oldest bridges in New York, and it captured my attention as a child. There was something about the bright lights of the city reflecting off the East River, the sounds of traffic flying past as you walked along the pedestrian path. No matter the time or day.

It was alive.

Breathing for me.

One of my only fond memories was driving on the bridge as a child, shouting at Esteban to look up every time we were about to go under the double arches. I would hold my breath until we passed through what looked like angel wings, making wishes that never came true.

I got lost in the beat of the music blasting through my ears, mesmerized by the meaning of her words, pulling me closer and closer to the angel arches. My feet moved on their own accord, my body and mind following close behind my deliberate steps.

I dropped out of school the day of my fifteenth birthday. I knew my parents would be rolling over in their graves. Their only daughter… a high school dropout. They weren’t around though, so now I followed Alejandro’s footsteps. Whether I wanted to or not. Two years since I embraced being a Martinez, sitting next to my uncle on the bus to Hell.

And already it felt like an eternity nailed to the cross.

I took in the beauty of the Heaven in front of me, standing right under the angel, looking over the edge and gazing down below. Cars flew by faster and faster, headlights blurring into the night. They appeared so small, so powerless, almost like they weren’t real.

The soft strumming of the chorus immediately assaulted my senses, making the hairs on my arms stand at attention. The thumping from the ear buds vibrating against my core. It was a warm night but I suddenly felt cold all over, chills running through me. I closed my eyes reeling in the emotions, the feelings, and racing thoughts that attacked my mind at rapid speed.

One right after the other.

They were devastating and merciless.

I grabbed onto the cold railing, taking a deep breath as the wind blew against my face, producing a new high I had yet to experience. I rested my head back relishing in the vibrations against my soul. I had no control over my body, placing one foot on the railing, the other slowly after.

The music was smooth like silk, but raw like nails, clawing at my skin, burrowing inside me, making its self at home.

My mind.

My body.

My soul.

I climbed through the wires to stand on the rusted ledge, steadying myself once my feet met my hands. Gradually balancing before slowly standing tall. My thoughts bleeding off of me right onto the oncoming traffic. I felt the vibes all around me even though I still hadn’t opened my eyes to take it all in.

I was caught up in the silence, I could finally believe. Lifting my arms out beside me like an angel ready to fly away. Riding the white wave to my sense of wonder.

Freedom.

I sucked in deep breaths, my heart beating so fucking hard. I thought the pounding would knock me over from the force of my own rage. The song hitting it’s all-time high and just when the thought of letting go came over me.

Giving into the release.

The beat slowed, the song coming to an end. The chaos quieted down all around me.

I opened my eyes.

Gasping.

The force so powerful, so crippling, so fucking real that it jerked my body back against the wire cables, my hands immediately gripping the iron ropes to the point of pain.

For a moment I had silence.

For a second I found my peace.

Even if it almost just cost me…

My life.

It had been a month since I dropped out of college.

It had been a month since I left and hadn’t looked back once.

It had been a month since I started living.

I got the fuck out of California, leaving all the bullshit behind. I took the first flight available to Ohio, not bothering to tell anyone. As far as I was concerned no one existed to me anymore. The only stop I made was by our apartment to grab enough shit to fit in my duffle bag. I went straight to the airport and picked the next flight departing, getting the hell out of Ohio.

Which happened to be Miami, Florida.

I met some random chick on the plane and followed her back to her apartment, where we fucked for the next three days. I didn’t mind, she had nice tits and let me fuck them, too. Plus it was a place I could crash for a few days till I got my shit together.

My phone was blowing up with phone calls and text messages from everyone and their mother. After a week of not answering or replying you’d think they’d take the goddamn hint, but it only made them bother me more.

I replied to one text.

“I’m fine, Half-Pint. I’ll keep in touch when I can. Goodbye.”

And I threw away my phone.

I was living off odd end jobs, here and there, enough to get me through without settling any roots. I was technically homeless, crashing with friend’s that I met partying or a new pussy’s bed, more often than not.

I was having the time of my life.

I lit my cigarette as we walked into the party, blowing smoke into the air. The pretty blonde I picked up at the bar said she was going to some house party on South Beach.

Never being one to pass up a good time, I decided to go with her.

We arrived around one in the morning, having a few drinks while she eye-fucked the shit out me before leaving the bar. The house was packed by the time we walked in, barely enough room to pass through the crowds of people as I followed her to the makeshift bar.

“What’s your poison?” she asked.

“Whiskey neat.”

She cocked her head to the side. “A Jack Daniel’s boy, huh?’

“Yes, ma’am,” I drawled out with a grin.

I had already forgotten her name. Nothing new for me, chick’s faces and names always blended together. I never stayed around long enough or cared enough to remember who they were.

“Ma’am, huh?” She flirted.

“I’m just a Southern boy,” I simply stated.

She slowly nodded. “Is it true what they say about boys from down South?”

“Depends who you’re asking.” I smiled. 

She introduced me to some of her friends she found inside. We hung out, drinking, dancing and shooting the shit about nothing in particular. I needed a break from the stifling atmosphere. Excusing myself, I made my way out onto the empty balcony, wanting a change of scenery. It was hotter than Hell in there, and I wasn’t a fan of big crowds to begin with.

I lit the blunt that was in my pocket, sucking in a deep, long breath, holding it in. I leaned against the railing, resting on my forearms, overlooking Miami Beach. Taking in the soft lure of the waves of the ocean, the moon smiled down on me like a Cheshire cat. There was mixture of smoke and salt in the air surrounding me. The beach brought back such a familiar feeling, and for the first time a sense of longing came over me.

I blew out the smoke in my lungs.

The music from inside changed over to this seductive, alluring beat. A soft voice followed with lyrics about her head being a jungle, and I could relate to that feeling. Something about the song made me turn around and look back inside.

The dance floor wasn’t as packed as it was before. People were still everywhere, dancing, hooking up, and having a great time without a care in the world.

Someone caught my attention. I narrowed my eyes, trying to get a better look at the girl in the center of the dance floor with her back to me. Long, vibrant, purple hair cascading all around her as she seductively swayed her hips to the beat. Making love to the music in a way I had never seen before.

She possessed the music; the music didn't possess her.

She was wearing a gray cotton, backless, belly shirt that was held in place by a simple, thin string, tied in a bow across the center of her back. Her ripped up jeans hung low on her hips, the hem dragging on the floor beneath her. She was covered in tattoos. One sleeve completely finished on her left arm. Her right arm halfway there with a few places of creamy, white skin peeking through.

But the tattoo on her back was what had my attention. It was a masterpiece. I had never seen anything like it before.

Intricate, mesmerizing, dark, yet the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.  It had a pin up style angel drawn in the center, starting at the top of her spine and ending down the middle of her back. The angel’s head was bowed not revealing her face, hands placed out in front of her, clasped in prayer gesture. Purple hair, flowing wild and free.

The wings attached to the angel, spread out on each of her shoulder blades, descending all the way down both sides of her back. Narrowing in on her tiny waist. The wings were so fucking detailed. I imagined she must have spent hours upon hours and several sessions lying on a table.

The wing on the right side of her back was so pure and white, illuminating to the eye. I had no idea there could be that many shades of white all intermixing, creating the feathers texture. Hints of silver were interlaced with the white making it really standout. Each feather was perfectly placed, every stroke immaculate.

While the wing on the left side was clipped, made up of dark shades of black with red bleeding through the empty spaces. The feathers were tarnished, broken, all out of place, and moving in all sorts of directions. Some were missing, some hanging by a thread. The same flawless, distinct texture, and shading as the right wing.

They were contrasting and contradicting to say the least.

Baffling even.

I stood there amazed and in awe of the story and mystery before me. Desperately wanting to unfold it. I wanted to find out if every piece on her had a meaning, a significance behind it. The girl was a dancing paradox and I couldn’t tear my eyes away from her, even if I wanted to.

And I didn’t want to.

Her hands slowly worked their way up her body to her head, running her fingers seductively through her hair, holding it up in place. I wanted to sink my teeth into her luscious ass. The way she moved, the way she swayed, the way she danced was so unbelievably fucking sexy, but it wasn’t like every other girl I was used to seeing.

She wasn’t dancing for anyone but herself.

She rocked her hips, spinning to the beat of the music, finally turning to face me.

I. Stopped. Breathing.

She was fucking beautiful. Describing her wouldn’t even do her justice.

Her eyes were shut, oblivious to all the eyes that were fixated just on her. She didn’t give a fuck who was around, who was talking, who was dancing.

All her facial features were pronounced and prominent but perfect for her. Her mouth was pouty and plump, seductively biting on her lower lip as the song came to an end. I swallowed hard, my mouth suddenly becoming dry. My gaze traveled down her body, her breasts were full, big, and perky as fuck. She wasn’t wearing a bra, and I could see her nipples peeking through her top. She had the tiniest waist with her hips slightly curving out.

An hourglass figure, exactly how I liked it.

There were tattoos down the sides of her stomach, one on her lower abdomen, and few cursive writing pieces scattered around. The one on her collarbone caught my attention the most and I wanted to know what it said. My eyes wondered back up to her face at the exact same moment the song ended.

The vision in front of me opened her eyes, and I sucked in a visible breath. I’d never seen eyes so bright and blue before. She looked so angelic, even though I knew she was anything but pure. She cocked her head to the side, narrowing her eyes at me. Taking me in as much as I took her in seconds ago. The music changed over to a faster beat, and the dance floor was once again filling quickly. The crowd of bodies started to surround her, but she didn’t let that deter her regard over me. Slowly, she walked toward me, parting through the men and women dry fucking each other on the dance floor.

Never breaking our connection.

I was leaning against the railing, one leg placed over the other. The blunt still between my thumb, index, and middle fingers. My other hand placed inside my pocket, rubbing my fingers together, imagining the way her skin would feel beneath them. Patiently and calmly waiting for her to say the magic words that would allow me to touch her.

To feel her against my skin.

Along my mouth.

Around my cock.

She was intoxicating as much as she was suffocating.

I took in the way her hips swayed, the way her tits bounced, and the way she licked her lips, making my dick twitch at the sight.

She stepped out onto the balcony, closing the sliding door behind her to lean up against it. Angling her body in a way that only made me want to devour every last fucking inch of her silky, white skin. The smell of weed, salt water, and something else, something tempting, something sinful, something
her
surrounded us.

Was now my new favorite scent.

Without saying a word, she gradually eyed me up and down with a fascinated glare. She took me in inch by inch until she stopped, reaching her desired destination. I followed her stare down to my hand still not moving from the place I stood. Grinning like a goddamn fool when I realized what she wanted.

“Can I have a hit?”

I peered back up at her.

“Pretty please,” she added in a seductive tone, biting her bottom lip.

I didn’t give it a second thought. I pushed off the railing, taking the blunt to my mouth and sucking in long and hard. Striding over to her in four, determined steps. Her gaze didn’t waver from mine as I leaned in close to her pink, pouty mouth, catching her completely off guard. Caging her in with my arms. Her eyes widened but she didn’t push me away. I parted my lips, slightly letting some smoke escape and that’s when she realized what I was doing. She mirrored my direction, and I slowly, softly blew out the smoke from my lungs into her awaiting mouth.

I saw something familiar in her eyes, something I had always seen in mine, reflecting back at me.

Pain.

A raw and dark painful ache, exactly like the pain I had been carrying around my whole life. I felt it in my skin, in my heart, and in my soul that this girl was different. She was like a diamond, smooth but with sharp edges. Our lips touched ever so lightly the entire time.

I knew right then and there…

This girl.

This. Fucking. Girl.

Was going to be the end of me.