17
“H
ave you lost your damn mind, Kamiyah? What in the hell is wrong with you, girl? Out here fighting like some wild hood rat,” my mom screams the minute she slams her car door shut and is out of earshot of the police. My parents have just picked me up from the police station, and she is beyond pissed. She shifts her body around to look at me. “You have two seconds to tell me what the hell is going on with you, or I'm going to be swinging you around next. And where the hell is your car?”
“It's at Sincere's house.”
“And where is
he
?” she wants to know.
“His mom came and picked him up.”
“Great. So you were out there fighting some girl over a boy? Is that what you're telling me?”
I shake my head. “No.”
“
No
? Then what the hell were you fighting for?”
Daddy is quiet. But I wish he would say something. . . anything. He glances at me every so often through the rearview mirror as he drives toward Sincere's house to get my car.
“She disrespected me,” I say softly, shifting my eyes from the look of disappointment I see in his stare.
My mother huffs. “What? Speak up!”
“I said she disrespected me.”
“She
disrespected
you? How, Kamiyah? What did that girl do for you to attack her like that? You know your father and I didn't raise you to be out here in the streets, fighting like some gutter trash.” She shoots a look over at Daddy. “Erik, aren't you going to say something to her?”
“I will, as soon as we get home. I'm just as upset about this as you are. Yelling and screaming at her now isn't going to solve what already happened.”
She huffs. “Well, obviously she needs to be yelled and screamed at, since she wants to be all out in the streets making a scene. Now explain to me how she disrespected you.”
Right at this minute, I know I am in soooo much trouble when I get home. I wish I could crawl into my own hole and become invisible, become nonexistent, like the dude in that Ralph Ellison book I read in my AP English class. I think, try to make up a story that will lessen whatever punishment I have coming to me. But I know there is nothing that I can sayâeven though that tramp instigated the whole thing. And Sincere did nothing to prevent it.
“She was acting all stank, flirting with Sincere and playing me like I wasn't even there. I triedâ”
“She was acting all
stank
? What in the hell does acting all
stank
look like?”
“She wasâ”
“You know what? Don't open your mouth to say another word. I don't even want to hear it. You will apologize to Sincere's parents and you will not be allowed to go over there again. Do you understand?”
I feel like she's just snatched the air from my lungs. She's trying to cut my lifeline. And now I am scrambling to find the right words to save myself. “Why? Sincere had nothing to do with this. Why are you trying to hurt me like this?”
“Well, too bad. I'm not trying to hurt you, Kamiyah. You're doing a good job of that all by yourself. I'm trying to keep your butt from making some very serious mistakes.”
I start crying. “You can't do this to me. Mom, pleeeease . . . Daddy, talk to her,
please
. You know how much Sincere means to me.”
“Then
maybe
that's part of the problem,” she says, narrowing her eyes at me. Her brown eyes have turned dark, almost black. “He means a little too much to you. Sincere really seems like a nice young man, but . . .”
“He
is
a nice guy. You can't stop me from being with him. He had nothing to do with what happened. It's my fault. I know. And if you have to punish me, then fine. But don't try and stop me from seeing Sincere,
please
. Besides Daddy, he's the only one who really cares about me.”
“Girl, nonsense. I'm your mother. I care about you.”
Whatever, Witch!
“No, you don't. You hate me. And you know it!”
“C'mon, you two, let's talk about this when we get home.” Daddy finally speaks up.
Why can't he ever speak up when I need him to? Why does he always have to sit back and let
her
run everything? I'm so sick of him being so passive with her.
“Kamiyah, your mother and I both care about you. We love you. And we don't want to see you get hurt.”
Then stop trying to ruin my life! Worry about your own relationship and stay the hell out of mine!
I blink my thoughts away. I am already in enough trouble. And I am smart enough to know to keep my true feelings to myselfâfor now.
“Oh, we can talk about it all right,” the Witch says, cutting her eyes over at Daddy. As always, she disregards him. “She is not allowed over at his house.” She turns back to me. “Do you understand me?”
I stare her down. I am crumbling inside at the thought. I sit on my hands to fight the urge to wrap my hands in her hair, too.
“I
said.
Do. You. Understand?”
I swallow back my attitude. Swallow back my hate toward her. Take a deep breath. “Yes,” I say through clenched teeth.
Daddy pulls around Sincere's parents' circular driveway and stops the car in back of mine. “C'mon, let's go,” he says, not looking at me. I open the door and get out. My mother waits for me to get away from the car before she gets out. And I can tell she wants to go off, but she won't because we're out in public.
Daddy walks up to the door and rings the bell. I am shaking. And I am ready to pass out when Sincere answers the door. I can tell he's pissed, too. But I can handle that. It's the punishment, the not being able to see him, that is going to kill me.
“Hello, Sincere,” Daddy says, sticking his hand out. “Are your parents home?”
Sincere shakes his hand. “Hi, Mister Nichols. My dad's outta town. But my mom's here. Come in.” He steps back and lets us in. And just when I think my day can't get any worse, my mother comes walking up the steps. I could drop dead on the spot. And she is determined to put the nails into my coffin. Sincere opens the door for her. They exchange hellos.
Sincere calls out to his mother; tells her that my parents and I are here. A few minutes later, Mrs. Lewis walks into the room, smiling. “Hello,” she says, shaking their hands. “Please sit.” This is the first time they have been inside Sincere's parents' home.
“You have a lovely home,” my mother says, smiling wide and bright as if she wasn't just going off in the car.
“Oh, thank you.” Mrs. Lewis looks over at me. “Kamiyah, I'm glad to see you're all right. Sincere told me what happened. I don't know what in the world is wrong with these young girls today. They're so wild and reckless.”
I shift my eyes.
Ohmygod, what did he tell her? That I jumped on that ho and ripped her hair out? He probably has her thinking that I'm some wild, out-of-control girl.
“Thank you,” I say, glancing over at Sincere. He shifts his eyes from mine.
My mother arches her brow. “Speaking of which, this whole incident is shocking to her father and me. And we're here because Kamiyah has something she wants to say.”
Everyone's eyes are now on me.
I nod, looking into Mrs. Lewis's eyes. “I apologize for you having to go down to the police station to pick up Sincere. I didn't mean for him to get dragged into it.”
She waves me on. “Oh, please. No need to apologize for that. I would have been more upset if he would have let you go down there by yourself. I know how much my son cares about you. Mister and Missus Nichols, you have a lovely daughter.”
I glance over at Sincere, but he's too busy giving his mother a look to tell her to shut up to notice.
“Thank you,” they both say.
“And please,” my mother says, “call me Kayla. And this is Erik.”
“And I'm Linda. It's nice to finally meet the both of you.”
“Likewise,” they both say.
The Witch continues, “I wanted to let you know that we don't condone what happened today. We didn't raise Kamiyah to be out in the streets fighting and getting arrested.”
“Oh, I can tell she comes from a good home. Kamiyah is always well-mannered when she's here. My husband and I really like her.”
My mother cuts her eye at me, then turns back to Mrs. Lewis, smiling. “And we feel the same about Sincere.”
Mrs. Lewis looks over at Sincere. I can tell she hears the âbut' in my mother's tone. “Sincere, why don't you and Kamiyah go downstairs in the family room so we can talk for a minute?”
There's a part of me that wants to hang around to hear what they have to say that needs to be said without me and Sincere in the room. The other part of me is relieved to be away from their prying eyes. And out of earshot, so that I can speak to Sincere alone.
“Okay,” he says, glancing at me. His face is expressionless.
“Don't get too comfortable, Kamiyah,” the evil Witch says. “We'll only be a minute.”
I don't answer. I follow Sincere down the stairs, back to where we started off earlier. Smiling, laughing, and enjoying each other's company. Oh, how I wish I could turn back the time and start this day over.
I don't wait for him to say anything. I start apologizing. Although I don't think, or feel, I should have to. I still believe if he woulda checked that ho, I wouldn't be in this mess. I feel like slapping his face. He stares at me, long and hard, then reaches out and takes my hand, walking me over to the sofa. We sit.
“You were right,” he says softly. “I should have checked her.”
Yeah, you really shoulda!
“But still . . . you didn't have to jump on her like that.”
“She was asking for it,” I state. “And I warned you from the beginning to not ever let another chick disrespect me.”
“Kamiyah, you have to let some things go over your head. She wanted to get to you, and you let her.”
“Well,
you
made it easy for her to do that. Why didn't you introduce me to her as
your
girlfriend? You made it seem like I was just some random chick you were with. Then you stood there and let her practically throw herself at you. You acted like it was cool.”
“It wasn't cool. And I was dead wrong for that. I promise, it won't happen again. I'm not gonna let anyone else ever disrespect you like that. But you have to know that if we're gonna be together, then you can't be getting all jealous and acting all crazy like that. You have to trust me. I'm not doing anything with anyone else.”
Sincere might be different. Maybe you can trust him. You still need to keep your eye on him
. “Well, did you do anything with
her
?”
He shifts his eyes to the floor, then back at me. “We talked for a few weeks over the summer.”
“Did you and her do it?” He tells me
yes
. Tells me she let him
hit it
a few times. “So why'd y'all break up?”
“We were never together. She was a chick I chilled with. It wasn't anything serious.”
I stare at him. “But you were having
sex
with her. Sex
is
something serious, at least for me.”
“Sex is only serious when it's with someone you really care about. I didn't care about her, Miyah. So it wasn't that serious to me. I wanted sex. She was willing to give it up. So I took it.”
And now that trick-ho wants another round.
“But it's different with us. I care about you, Miyah.” He leans in and kisses me on the cheek. He takes a finger and lifts my chin, turning my face toward him. He looks into my eyes. “
You
are my girl.” He kisses me softly on the lips and my heart leaps in my chest. “And I love you. But you gotta trust me.” He closes in for another kiss. I open my mouth, welcome him in. This time we French-kiss. And I quickly forget how pissed off I am at him.
“Your lips taste so sweet,” I say to him in between kisses. “I can get lost in your kisses.”
He smiles at me. “You really got me going through it, Miyah. I've never felt this way about anyone the way I feel about you.”
And you never will
. I replay a conversation I overheard Erika having with one of her friends.
Seduce him mentally, hook him emotionally, and he'll never leave you.
“I'm all yours, Sincere.”
“All of you?”
I can't lose him!
“Yes.”
We move from one kiss to the next, each kiss becoming more intense; each kiss causing more heat between us. We are . . . well, I know I am, swimming in thoughts of desire. And I can tell by the way he is kissing me that he is, too.