Alec snorted
out a laugh, quickly becoming overwhelmed with this incredible
information. “Dragons? Like Puff, The Magic Fucking
Dragon?”
Willem
didn’t smile. “Have you not yet learned that human histories are
not what they seem, Alec? Can you not see that, in the great
expanse that is your mind? You need to let go of the human
delusion, Alec.”
Alec didn’t reply to that. Instead, he just said,
“Jorge has grown tired. Let the boy
rest.”
“
Wait!” Cronin said, stopping them before they
disappeared.
He looked right
at Willem. “Where are you?”
Willem just smiled beautifully, waved
his hand, and they were gone.
Jorge’s eyes went back to normal and
he fell forward. Everyone moved to catch him, but Alec was the
quickest and caught him easily. “Whoa there, little guy,” he said,
sitting him on a chair. “You okay, Jorge? You scared
me.”
Jorge nodded weakly. “Jorge
tired.”
“
I’m sorry it took longer
than I expected,” Alec said, putting his palm to Jorge’s chest.
“You are weak. Can you feel me making you better?”
Jorge nodded
and gave him a full smile; his little fangs peeked out of his lips,
and Alec couldn’t believe he once found that alarming. Now he
thought it was cute. Jorge laughed. “Alec fix Jorge.”
Alec ruffled Jorge’s hair
. “Any time, kiddo.” When he was sure Jorge was okay, Alec
stood up to full height. “Well, that meeting was interesting.” He
glared at Cronin. “And not exactly unwelcome by some.”
Cronin
was taken
aback. He shook his head. “What?”
Your ex-boyfriend was
happy to see you too.
Cronin
blanched. “No,
no. Alec, you misread my curiosity.”
Alec took a deep breath and his nostrils flared. The
irrational—stupidly irrational—anger wouldn’t dissipate.
“I need to leave,” Alec said as
quietly as he could. He needed to leave because he really wanted to
expel a fuckton of rage and he figured Adelmo and Jorge didn’t want
their little pocket of the Amazon wiped off the map.
Cronin put up his hand, palm forward.
“Be calm, m’cridhe. I will take Jodis and Eiji back to New York and
be back in just a moment. I will go with you.”
Cronin
looked
concerned and a little lost at Alec’s emotional outburst, and that
only served to layer guilt on top of Alec’s anger. Kind of similar
to what gasoline does to fire.
In the blink of an eye, Cronin was gone along with Eiji and
Jodis. Alec knew he’d owe them an apology,
another one, and that burned in him as well. Alec
leaned down so he was eye level with Jorge. “I am very grateful for
you.” Then he looked up at Adelmo. “And you, Adelmo.”
Cronin reappeared and he seemed relieved to see Alec was
still there. And again, more guilt poured
onto the blazing fire that Alec was struggling to
contain. He couldn’t even look Cronin in the eye, and that hurt the
most.
Alec gave Jorge the best smile he
could muster. “If you need me, for anything, just call me in your
mind. I’ll hear it. I’ll be listening for you, okay?”
They said their good
-byes and Alec leapt himself and Cronin to the most remote
place he could think of. Somewhere he could scream and detonate
bombs of rage without being seen or heard by humans.
Antarctica blizzard
s,
or whiteouts, were loud. Something Alec didn’t realize before now,
though he was pleased. The winter, dark and freezing cold, seemed
perfectly apt for his mood. And even though the snow blasted him
from all directions, he could feel the earth beneath his shoes, and
it grounded him. He let the wrath and jealousy that bubbled in his
chest boil over. He let his head fall back and he roared, sending
flurries of snow rippling out from him.
Cronin stood four feet in front of him,
almost whited out with snow, but he never took
his eyes off Alec. He spoke in his normal voice, and even over the
rumbling blizzard, Alec heard him just fine. “Alec, tell me what
angers you so?”
“
Everything!” he bellowed. He clenched his fists
and roared as he smashed the ground
with every ounce of strength he had. A creaking fissure split the
ice beneath his punch. “Why was he there? Willem,” Alec said the
name as though it tasted bitter on his tongue. “You were pleased to
see him.”
“
He was a friend,” Cronin said. “
An acquaintance with similar inclinations. Nothing
more.”
“
You slept with
him!”
“
Yes! Out of curiosity. I’d never experienced such things
before!” Cronin shook his head. He was angry in return now. “This
cannot be what angers you, Alec. You’ve known about Willem since we
first met. Have I ever questioned those that have seen your bed
before me?”
“
Yes!” Alec replied
petulantly. “You wanted to kill them, remember?”
“
I said that in jest,
Alec. And to what end does this worry you? You cannot change what
is done!”
“
You chose him!” Alec cried. “You never chose me!” He
regretted his choice of words immediately and felt the resulting
stab of hurt in Cronin’s chest.
“
Were my words at our wedding not enough for you?” Cronin
asked.
His anger gone,
replaced by hurt.
Alec pushed
out a bloom of sorry so Cronin could feel just how bad Alec felt.
“Of course they were enough,” he said. “They were everything.
Cronin, I can’t explain why I feel this way. It’s not rational, but
I can’t seem to stop it. I don’t blame you, and I don’t blame him.
I know you would choose me if fate had not done so
already.”
“
You’re dealing with a
constant heavy burden, Alec. Don’t add an unnecessary
weight.”
“
Don’t make excuses for
me,” Alec whispered against the blizzard. “I was an
ass.”
Cronin smiled and finally closed the
distance between them. He put his hand to Alec’s face. “Don’t talk
that way about the man who holds my heart.”
Alec took a
deep breath as though Cronin’s words lightened the heaviness in his
chest. “He was handsome,” Alec allowed.
Cronin laughed like snow wasn’t pounding against him.
“Don’t think for one moment he even compares to you.
Like a candle to the sun, Alec.
There is no comparison. Though I am pleased he found his fated one.
And Johan, of all people! They deserve the happiness they’ve found
in each other, don’t you think?”
Alec nodded, but he knew he had to confess what was truly
troubling him.
“I worry this
new war is one I cannot win,” Alec finally admitted. “I worry for
the pain it will cause you if I were to die.”
Cronin brushed the snow from Alec’s hair and the side of
his face, though it was only replaced afresh not half a second
later.
“Oh, Alec. Fear not,
m’cridhe. I would follow you through this life and the
next.”
“
Is that what you were curious about? In the hut?” Alec
asked. “At first I thought you were
just interested because it was…
him
. But it’s
more than that, isn’t it.” It wasn’t a question. “It’s the whole
afterlife thing.”
“
Alec,
cast Willem
from your mind. Think only of us and no more of him. But before I
answer your question, do you think we might seek a more hospitable
location?” Cronin paused as a squall of snow hammered them both
from the side.
Alec had
barely nodded before Cronin put his hand to his arm and leapt them.
The warm night air in Johannesburg was a startling change. Melting
fast, clumps of snow fell off them onto the dirt alleys of the
Diepsloot slums and puddles of water quickly pooled at their
feet.
Alec was instantly bombarded with a
few hundred thousand voices in his head before he shut them out. He
knew why Cronin had chosen this place: he wanted to
feed.
Cronin shook himself off, much like a
dog, and it made Alec laugh. He did the same, but he was still
drenched through. “Maybe Antarctica wasn’t the best idea I’ve ever
had.”
Cronin snorted. “Well, you’ll
certainly give the geologists and climate change experts something
to talk about. That crack in the middle of the continent will have
them scratching their heads for a time, I’m sure.”
“
It felt good to punch something that hard,”
Alec admitted.
“
It was magnificent to
witness.”
“
I’m sorry if my anger
took you by surprise,” Alec said.
“
I cannot lie and say that I don’t find your jealousy
appealing,” Cronin said with a sly smile. “I rather like seeing you
get possessive of me.”
Alec snorted
at that. “If I could have reached through Jorge’s mind, I would
have ripped Willem’s head from his body.” He shrugged. “I’m sure
he’s a nice guy and all, but he’s done things with you
that—”
Cronin put
his finger to Alec’s lips. “Think no more of him.”
“
I’m sorry I let my
jealousy and pride come before you.”
“
Think no more of it, m’cridhe. You don’t owe me an
explanation or apology.”
Well, that wasn’t true, but before
Alec could argue, Cronin spoke again. “Can I ask you
something?”
“
Of course.”
“
It’s about what you see
when you look into Jorge’s mind. Can you see where they
are?”
Alec shook his head. “Nothing
specific. The whole concept of there being an afterlife is
fascinating to you, isn’t it?”
“
How can it not be?” Cronin countered. “To even consider
that there is such a thing for us—” He shook his head in wonder.
“—a heaven! For us!”
Truth be told, Alec hadn’t given
heaven much credence. Not as a human and certainly not as a
vampire. He wasn’t a religious man, so the notion of heaven and
hell fell by the wayside. But it was clearly something Cronin
prized.
“
A heaven or next life,” Alec amended. “I don’t know what or
where it is exactly. I can’t see details of their
surroundings.”
Alec could feel the undercurrent of peace it gave Cronin,
to know there was more to life, even if this one were to
end.
“It confounds me to
consider our own mortality,” Cronin said. “We are granted
im
mortality in this life, yet here we are faced with a
hereafter. It baffles me.”
“
Do you think you’re not
deserving?”
“
Well, in leaving behind
my humanity, I also left behind a mindfulness for human
life.”
“
That’s not true,” Alec said. “You respect human life. You
only take what you need to feed. You don’t kill them for
entertainment or sport.”
Cronin
shrugged one shoulder. “True.”
“
Why the consciousness for such things now?” Alec asked.
“You’ve lived a long time to only just realize this.”
Cronin let out a deep breath. “I’ve
never been faced with the possibility of there being something
more.”
“
And yet, even when you thought all faith was lost, you
still acted with a kindness toward humans.” Alec put his hand to
Cronin’s chest. “That proves what kind of heart you
have.”
Cronin shrugged again, but before he could speak,
Alec’
s head turned to the
sound of different voices. He heard the mental voices before the
auditory ones. Two men working as a team. One of them was warring
between fight and flight, too scared to do either. And the other
man, the leader of the two, was holding a small child but worried
that the woman’s screams would cause too much attention.
Shut her up, shut her
up
, he kept saying, out loud
and in his head. The first man finally closed his fist and took a
step toward the stricken woman, who’d been knocked to the
floor.
“
Be ready
to take the
child,” Alec whispered before leaping them both to where the scene
was unfolding. Alec grabbed the two men by the throats before they
could blink, strangling their screams of surprise and
fear.
Cronin
quickly and carefully took the wailing child from the man’s arms
before he could drop her. The woman on the ground cried out, her
eyes wide with fear, as she scrambled backwards away from them. But
Cronin held out her little girl, no more than eighteen months old,
and gently handed her back to the woman. “Take her. Be safe,”
Cronin said. “These two men will not bother you anymore.” And the
woman scrambled out of the shack, her baby safe in her
arms.
Alec snarled at the two men. Their feet kicked in mid-air,
their hands were uselessly trying to release Alec’s grip on their
necks. “I know what you wanted to do to the baby,” he snarled at
them
, his fangs bared. “You
sick fucks. There’s a special place in hell for people like
you.”
The men both struggled
. One of them tried punching Alec, swiping his fists
blindly at him. It hurt Alec no more than a newborn kitten would,
though Cronin clearly didn’t like the fact the man was hitting him.
He took him from Alec, the man’s arms now swinging even wilder, his
eyes bulging with a new kind of fear.