Crossings: A Sovereign Guardians Novel (12 page)

My own hands found and spread out against the broad expanse of his chest, and I thrilled to feel his heart pounding as fast as my own.

The small space of the truck's cab offered little room to move, but somehow Keller managed to navigate the tight confines and pull me even closer. The full weight of him pressed against me, but still it wasn't enough. I couldn't imagine how it would ever be enough.

I wanted more of him.

More of this.

More of everything.

Keller pulled away from me but only for a moment, his hands still holding me close.

"Sweetheart," his voice, so familiar to me, was rich and husky as he broke the silence of our touch, "you are so beautiful."

I wanted to tell him that he was the one who was beautiful. That looking at him took my breath away. But words were not enough. I pulled his head back down, and his lips opened to mine. Locked in his embrace, there were no words needed to tell him what I felt.

This was happening.

This was magic.

Everywhere he touched, I melted. His trail of kisses blazed down my neck and then continued their journey going lower, lower.

My fingers knotted in the silky strands of his hair, pulling him to me. I wanted his lips on mine. I wanted to hold him close so he would continue his sweet exploration.

So many wants. So many needs.

I could feel the breath of his words against my skin as he tried to speak. His hands, holding me close only seconds ago, were trembling now as he eased away from me.

"Pagan, we've got to - "

A banging on the outside of the truck's window stopped Keller's words.

A startled gasp escaped from me as I tried to sit up quickly. The glass on all the windows was fogged over, so I couldn't see who was outside. Heat filled my checks, wondering what someone might have witnessed.

"Go away, Granger," Keller growled out in the silence of the truck.

"Granger? How do you know it's Granger?" I whispered frantically.

A deep sigh escaped Keller's lips as he sat up straighter. I read regret in his eyes and something more, but it was gone before I could examine it further.

With trembling fingers, he reached over and brushed my hair back from my face and tucked the loose strands behind my ears. The look in his eyes was guarded now.

"I just know," he sighed deeply. "I always know, and I also know, he won't go away."

More banging on the window proved his point. Then Granger's voice yelled out, "Are you guys okay in there?"

Keller looked at me, one eyebrow arched, the familiar smirk taking over his features.

"Well, that was fun, love. I've definitely never had that good a time going home. And in case you were wondering, you can give me a ride any day."

The only thing that stopped me from slapping him was the audience waiting outside.

Reality was starting to sink in on what I'd almost let happen, and the embarrassment that was settling over me was making it hard for me to think straight.

I bit my bottom lip to stop the tears from welling up in my eyes. What had I been thinking, to let myself get carried away with Keller of all people, and then to have Granger find us this way?

And even more confusing than all of that, was the feeling I had that I wished Granger hadn’t knocked on the glass. Deep down, there was a part of me that wanted the magic back.

Somehow, I managed to gather up the nerve to really look at Keller.

I don't know what I expected, but there was no tenderness there now. His caustic words and the smirk on his face were typical Keller.

Seeing that look helped quell down any other emotions I was feeling until anger was all that was left.

In the tight confines of the truck, I edged as far away from Keller as I could.

"
What
are you smirking at?"

Keller moved quickly, and I sucked in my breath as he leaned into me. Surely he wasn’t going to try and kiss me again?

I hated myself at that moment because there was a huge part of me that wanted him to, even angry at him, even with an audience waiting outside, my traitorous body still craved his touch.

Keller reached out his hand and placed it to the side of my head, resting it against the window.

Then with one finger, he drew the outline of a heart on the fogged up glass.

Inside the heart he wrote one word.

Magic
.

The door on the passenger's side opened then, and Granger's head stuck inside as Keller moved away from me.

"Hey, Pagan."

Granger’s eyes were warm and friendly. If he thought it strange that after having a milkshake with him only an hour ago that I was now sitting in my truck with Keller and that the windows were completely fogged up, he didn't comment.

Instead he looked at Keller and said, "I thought you wanted me to meet you at the house with supper. You're late."

Ignoring Granger, Keller looked back at me. I couldn't read his expression, but his words were clipped when he asked, "Do you want to talk later?"

The quick shake of my head was followed by my verbal refusal. "No, I don't think so, Keller. We're good."

The right side of his mouth lifted in a half smile as he drawled out, "Well, you are, love, that's for sure."

His quick wink was followed by the slam of the door, and I was left alone before I could even think of a comeback.

The fog on the windows was quickly disappearing, and I watched Keller walk away and never look back. Granger waved at me before the two disappeared inside the house.

I sat there a moment with my hands on the steering wheel, willing myself to stop shaking. I wanted to only be angry, to pretend what had happened wasn't real. I had been scared and upset and the intimacy of the cab had all but provided the perfect environment for something crazy to occur. Everything I was telling myself sounded more than reasonable even if I knew it wasn't reality. But creating my own version of the truth helped, and because of it, I was able to put the truck in gear and pull away from Keller's house without falling into a million broken pieces.

When I glanced out my window again, I saw the heart Keller had traced was still there. I kept one hand on the steering wheel and grabbed the towel with the other and rubbed frantically to remove the drawing, but the outline and the word stubbornly remained on the glass.

Sighing, I realized I wasn't surprised.

Chapter Six

The telephone rang six times before I managed to snatch the receiver off the wall.

Gran watched from her seat at the kitchen table, eyes wide, as I raced to pick it up before the ringing stopped. I wasn't sure if the fact that someone was calling surprised her more or that I wanted to answer it. Having to talk on a phone that was attached to a wall did limit my privacy, but at least Gran moved into a different room while I took the call.

"Hello," I answered a little out of breath. I cradled the handset between my shoulder and cheek. The cord was hopelessly tangled so there was no way I could go very far.

"Hey, Pagan." Faith's friendly voice was on the other end of the receiver. "You do realize the fact that you don't have a cell phone is totally retro cool, right?"

I loved Faith's positive way of looking at even the lamest situation. No matter how she phrased it, though, there was nothing cool about not having my own phone. It was something I hoped to rectify once I got a job and had a way to pay for it and the service bill that went along with the phone. But after my failed job search two weeks ago, I was beginning to doubt it would ever happen.

Gran had offered again last week to buy me a phone, but I wasn't taking any more money from her than was necessary. She was already doing too much for me. Everything, really. As far as I was concerned, she shouldn't have to do anything more. Besides, as far out as we lived in the country, I was pretty sure any cell phone reception I would get wouldn't be great, or at least that's what I tried to believe to console myself.

"So," Faith's voice drawled across the line, "I told you I'd call today so we could make plans to drive into Nashville. Are you in or what?"

I had already talked to Gran about the possibility of going out with Faith and some friends from school, and she had been great about the idea. Since she'd hoped I'd make friends, having a girls' night out was definitely something she approved of me doing.

"Absolutely," I responded. "Why don't I meet you at the old store at the end of the road, and it'll save you the trip from your house all the way out to Fairvue. Gran is fine with us going out, but she doesn't trust my driving skills yet in downtown Nashville, so I can go as long as you do the driving. And of course, I'll help you with gas money."

"Not a problem, Pagan. Daddy gave me his credit card. My folks are going to some charity event, and they'll be gone most of the night. I think it eases their guilt of abandoning their only child most weekends by giving me lots of spending money." Her laughter took the sting out of her words.

"Hey, are you sure you don't mind other girls tagging along?"

I shook my head, and then realized she couldn't see me over the phone.

"No, of course not. I already told you that at school. It's time I started expanding my circle of social acquaintances."

My mind immediately brought forth a picture of Keller. I had barely talked to him since we had experienced what I now thought of as the close encounter where I was out of my mind.

With baby steps over the past couple of weeks, we'd managed to start being civil to each other again at school, but we seemed to have an unspoken agreement to pretend what had happened between us had never really occurred. I didn't run into him outside of school and that helped. I'd only seen him once working at Gran's and that had been from the safety of my bedroom window.

Keller had been unloading some bales of hay from the back of a wagon. He'd had on a navy baseball hat, jeans, and a T-shirt that had seen better days. As he worked, his movements were fluid and graceful despite the weight each bale contained.

He'd just finished up and was leaning against the wagon when he looked up at the window where I stood. At the time, I wasn't sure if he could see me or not, but the way he kept staring made me move away and hide behind the curtain. I was pretty certain no one should look that good covered with dirt and sweat.

As for my relationship with Granger, it seemed like forever since he’d bought me a milkshake and then found me with Keller. After that day he'd become more withdrawn. He was still friendly but that was it.

With Granger and Keller on my mind, I was quick to add, "Not that our little lunch circle isn't interesting each day, but there's a bit too much testosterone in our current group. I could definitely use some girl time."

Faith's rich laugh carried across the line.

"Granger and Keller do add a lot of masculinity to whatever room they enter. There are girls at our school that would do
anything
to get their attention, but those boys don't seem interested. I've not heard of either of them dating anyone or at least not from around here. A girl in my history class was gossiping about them, and she said she heard they were both dating girls from out of town. Personally, I think she started that rumor herself to save face. I heard she got shot down cold by each of them. My theory is they've both got their eye on someone else, and I gotta tell ya, Pagan, if I weren't already dating Grant Walker, I would be insanely jealous of you."

I wanted to tell Faith she had it all wrong, but that would mean I'd have to prove why I knew she was wrong by telling her about what had happened between Keller and me. That was one thing I hadn't shared with Faith.

So rather than comment, I changed the subject and asked her if she would be seeing Grant anytime soon. Bringing up Grant's name was a sure way to move the conversation to a safer topic.

Faith was crazy about her boyfriend who attended a private school rather than our own public one. Unfortunately that meant she didn’t get to see him every day. I had seen so many pictures of him and been included in several video chats after school on Faith's phone that I felt like I knew Grant even though we hadn't yet officially met. I was hoping that would be corrected tonight and that he would be coming, too, so I could finally get to meet him.

Thinking about Grant and how perfect their relationship seemed to be, I said, "There's no reason to be jealous of me when you're the one with the perfect boyfriend."

"Grant and I are great, but that's not what I meant and you know it. You can pretend with everybody else but not with me. Granger and Keller spend thirty minutes every day at lunch vying for your attention, which you seem oblivious to. It's obvious they're crazy about you and since they are both so incredibly handsome and fun and smart, I don't see how you could ever choose between them. I mean, my gosh, it's like Team Edward or Team Jacob all over again but in real life."

I laughed out loud at her teen novel reference.

"Faith, you can't be serious. Keller and Granger aren't crazy about me. I figured that out after the first week. I mean, I'll admit at first I thought Granger's flirting might mean something, but I realized those two just like to compete. If they aren't talking about who gets more food from the cafeteria workers, then they're arguing about whose favorite sports team won whatever game was played the night before. It's not a real interest in me. It's all a challenge for them to see who can outdo the other. And as for making a choice between the two of them? Well, that wouldn't be hard. It would be... neither."

I could feel Faith rolling her eyes across the phone line. The sigh she gave told me she clearly didn't believe me.

"Well, I wouldn't mind being the trophy at the end of a competition for either one of them,” Faith giggled. "Oh, and when you meet Grant, don't tell him I said that."

After I assured her my lips were sealed, we agreed to meet in an hour. I was smiling when I hung up the phone and ran upstairs to get ready. I liked spending time with Faith. Unfortunately the only class we had together was chemistry, and it took all my concentration not to fail, which left only lunch and after school for any real social time.

Once in my room, I went straight to my closet and pulled out a spaghetti strap sundress made of a light blue cotton fabric with small purple and pink flowers woven into the material. From under my bed I pulled out a pair of blue Keds. I didn't know how much walking we would be doing downtown, but even if we did very little, I still wasn't the high heel kind of girl. I could picture Faith wearing three inch heels tonight, and she would look fabulous wearing them. I envied her ease with fashion. I hadn't worn a skirt since the day I'd dared to wear the denim mini one to school. Faith would be thrilled to see me again wearing something besides my jeans.

My curly hair went back in its usual high pony tail. I put on a hint of lip gloss and a dab of mascara to complete my night on the town look. There was nothing I could do about the various tendrils which refused to stay secured. I looked critically in the mirror and decided they looked fine framing my face.

Staring at the loose curls, I remembered Keller's fingers running through my hair. My stomach did a strange flip flop at the memory.

I shook my head, frustrated. I would not start thinking about him tonight. This was my first trip with Faith to downtown Nashville, and I was going to have fun.

With one last glance at my reflection, I realized my look was barely a step up from what I normally wore to school. I dabbed a touch more gloss on my lips and then headed out of my room and down the stairs.

Gran was in the kitchen drinking a cup of coffee as I walked in. I smiled when she told me how beautiful I looked even though I knew it wasn't true. She'd tell me I looked great no matter what I was wearing. She was that happy to have me home and to see me going out with friends.

I gave her Faith's cell number and a quick kiss on her cheek, along with a promise to call if I decided to spend the night at one of the other girls’ houses. Then I was out the door and climbing in the truck. I quickly cranked the engine, and shifted the vehicle in gear. I was running a little early, but I didn't mind. I didn't want Faith to have to wait on me.

Excited as I was about going out, I was also a little nervous about meeting Faith's other friends. My experiences with girls my age at the other schools I had attended had never really been positive. It wasn't that I hadn't wanted friends exactly, but I was simply never very good at making any. I never stayed around at one place long enough to keep the few I did make.

It took very little time for me to arrive at our planned meeting place. I expertly pulled the truck into the corner lot of the store where people parked who weren't there to shop but were planning to leave their cars for a few hours. As I waited for Faith, my mind drifted back over the last few days.

Faith had been right about one thing she'd said earlier. Granger and Keller were both incredibly handsome.

But as for either one of them being seriously interested in me? Well, Faith was totally wrong on that one. Keller's treatment of me was certainly all the proof I needed to know how wrong she was.

In fact, recently the two had seemed to pay me little attention unless it was to annoy me. Sure, there was that moment Granger and I had been alone in the hall at school, but that hadn't lasted long and basically the whole incident had left me really confused about what he wanted from me and why I'd acted like such an idiot and let him pull me off to the side in the first place.

There was also still that whole mumbo jumbo thing he seemed to have pulled on Mr. McNeely. It had all felt completely wrong. The details of it were fuzzy to me now, which was weird to me, too. I'd tried to shake off the whole thing as just a moment of insanity on my part, but there were times when I couldn't stop from playing it all over in my head even though I knew I should let it go. I should focus on the time we spent together at the restaurant. Everything had been wonderfully normal then.

Of course, having him interrupt whatever was happening between Keller and me in the truck, well, that was awkward, to say the least. I was more than a little grateful he never mentioned it.

As for Keller? I simply refused to think about
that
at all, or at least as little as I possibly could. But I also knew I couldn’t lie to myself. Whenever I was alone with him, there was a connection between us that couldn’t be ignored. So, the best way to stop the situation was to make sure that never happened again.

So far that plan was working for me, even if I couldn’t always control the thoughts that ran through my mind late at night. Really, to keep my sanity, it was probably better if I stayed away from them both. When I did think about Granger and Keller, I realized there were things about them both that didn't add up.

Both were new to the school, but they didn't act like two people who had never met. They spent most of their time arguing like friends who'd known each other way longer than a few months. I could only assume they were like Faith and me and had kind of bonded instantly, but did guys even do that?

I really needed to let all of it go. Obsessive compulsive was not my best personality trait.

Faith's car coming down the road saved me from my thoughts. I grabbed the key to the truck, hopped out, and slammed the door behind me without even bothering to lock it. I was sure Gran would be thrilled if someone stole the thing, so then she could take the insurance money and buy
anything
else. I wouldn't exactly be unhappy either if I had a sweet, new ride.

Faith pulled up in a lime green Volkswagen. It was not the same car she drove to school. According to what little Gran had told me, Faith's parents were wealthy, so I wasn't surprised she'd have more than one car.