Crown's Chance at Love (25 page)

Sabrina

I get home feeling like somehow I forgot something behind.

I hate that feeling.

Deep down, I know it’s not something, it’s more of a someone.

I had been about to ask if I could go over to his place, but Mike cut me off and told me I should head home. I knew he was right. Nick was here and I should spend time with him. But this pull to Mike was so great. I hadn’t wanted to leave him or his arms. But then again it wasn’t like it was ever easy saying goodbye to him. Every time we were together, every time I was in his arms, the pull to him grew.

The day at Emmi and Dan’s had been great.

Every time we would sneak into the kitchen, Emmi would gush about Mike. How cute he was. How he couldn’t keep his hands off of me. Asking if I had I seen how cute he was talking to Chris and the twins about football. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of him either. Without thinking I would find our hands entangled with one anothers and I liked it. Everything had been going great until Nick had shown up.

I love Nick. He’s my best friend, a brother. But the way he had behaved hadn’t been nice.

I knew Nick was having issues with me dating Mike. I didn’t think it was because he somehow cared more than a friend towards me, but more because he felt his male presence in our family slightly threatened. I knew the kids talked about Mike with him. I knew that Emmi gushed about Mike and I to him. But I also knew I needed to have a serious conversation with him about where he stood with us. That his involvement in this family was in no way in jeopardy.

Plus it wasn’t as if Mike and I were even in a relationship, we were just getting to know one another. I wasn’t sure how long Mike wanted to be in this stage of dating, that felt like dating limbo. Almost as if we had one foot in and the other ready to jump out. I knew I was going to eventually have to have bring this up with Mike, but for now it was what it was.

The house is silent except for the quiet murmur of the tv on Sportscenter. Nick is sitting on the couch, a leg folded over the other, with a beer in hand. He looks over at me, his hair slightly disheveled, his brown eyes warm and kind. I sigh at the sight of my best friend finally home. I have missed him so much. I knew I shouldn’t count on him as much as I did.  Emotionally he had been my touchstone after Sean had passed away. I knew his life had been put on hold after Sean died, and that wasn’t fair to him. After that silly night where we tried to kiss, I had started to pull away, so that I didn’t depend on him as much as I had the last couple of years. Not because things were weird between us, but more because we both needed to keep going on with our lives.  

“Hey,” I say as I sit next to him. He brings my feet to his lap. “Kids give you any trouble?”

“No. They went to bed. I read Chris a story. I honestly never realized how many football bio’s there were until I looked at that kid’s book shelf.” I laugh. Chris was obsessed with the sport.

“I know. I have to order them off of Amazon, bookstores don’t carry a huge selection.” He chuckled.

“That kid is a trip,” he says laughing, taking a swig of his beer, handing it to me. I sip it, letting the cold brew relax me.

“So that was Mike huh,” he says his hands kneading my feet. I smile at him and nod.

We sit, pretending to watch Sportscenter. I know he wants to say something, I just don’t know if I am ready to know. I take a deep breath.

“Yeah. So what did you think?” I ask smiling and he scowls.

“He’s a little old Sabrina,” he finally says and I laugh.

“Oh please, he is forty. Only four years older than us.”

“Are you sure? I mean have you checked his ID? He could be lying you know?  Because the guy has grey hair,” he says scowling.

“I think it’s sexy,” I say smiling, watching him roll his eyes. “But all that’s physical. What did you think about him?” I press on, with a knot in my stomach.

“I don’t know Sabrina. Honestly he seems a little shifty,” he says, looking at the TV. I know he is going to say something I might not like and that is why he is looking away.

“Shifty?” I ask trying not to feel deflated. I knew by the reaction Nick had had with Mike at the BBQ he wasn’t going to give him a glowing review, but
shifty
wasn’t the word I was hoping to hear as he described the guy I was highly interested in.

“Look babe, he seems genuinely interested in you,” he says, but Nick hesitates and I know he is about to lay it on me.

“But?” I ask feeling like I am holding my breath. I wanted my best friend to like the guy I was dating.

“But he isn’t being honest about something. I’m not sure what it is, but he’s holding something back. You guys have been seeing one another how long now? Over two months?” he asks and I know where he is going.
Maybe this is why I was nervous about him meeting Nick.
Nick was a straight shooter and I knew he wouldn’t hold back. Especially if he thought in the long run, Mike might hurt me.

“Yeah, but we are getting to know one another…”

“Still? Don’t you talk every night?” he asks, his left eye slightly twitching, making him look upset. I used to talk to him every night. Even if it was a quick, small conversation, we would check in with one another. I realize at that moment that I had been a bad friend and as soon as I had the chance I needed to address it.

“Yes. But…” I start to say, but Nick, being Nick, wasn’t about to hold back.

“I love you honey. I’ve known you for a really long time…” he starts to say.

“A lifetime” I chime in interrupting, hating how soft my voice sounds.

“Exactly. So sweetheart I know what you bring to the table…” he says looking into my eyes and I interrupt him again.

“A lot of baggage?” I ask and he frowns.

He grabs my hand, pulling me up to my feet, making me sit in front of him on the edge of my coffee table. His knees are on the outside of my legs, and he holds my hand. I look at him. His brown eyes look a little frustrated and tired, yet very concerned.

“I’m going to say this once. I know we haven’t talked about it a whole bunch, but I think it’s time. If that night a year ago would have given me even a tiny hint that we could have worked… Shit just a smidge of hope we could have made one another happy,  I would have jumped on it so fast, it would have made your head spin,” he says, slightly surprising me.

It was true, after the disastrous gross kisses, we had pretended it had never happened. That was when Nick had started to set me up on blind dates with friends of his that lived in California.

“You don’t bring baggage Sabrina. You bring so many great things to the table honey. He would be one lucky bastard, if you were even slightly interested in him,” he tells me, his voice completely sincere.

I start to shake my head, about to interrupt him, but he keeps talking.

“I know you, I saw you with him tonight. I know you care about him, maybe even falling a little too far for him.”

“Nick…”

“Just be careful though. Something is holding him back. I know he is interested in you. You could tell by the way he looks at you when he thinks no one is watching. “

“How’s that?”

“Like he isn’t sure if you are real or not… Like you are the most beautiful thing he’s ever laid eyes on,” he says in the most sincere voice and something catches in my throat, something that feels like a huge lump or knot, and my damn eyes blur with unshed tears.

“Nick…”

“Sean used to look at you like that,” he says and my breath hitches again at the thought of Sean and Mike looking at me in a similar way, and what that could mean. “Just be careful”

“Okay Nick.” I say softly, not sure what to else to say.

I’m not upset with him for what he had to say. Deep down I know Mike’s holding something back. I just figured that he would let me in when he was ready to let me in on whatever he was holding back on. As for Nick’s observation on how Mike looked at me,I would think about it later…much later.

“So how was Hong Kong? Did you close the deal okay?” I ask him, obviously changing the subject.

He sighs, leaning back on the couch and I snuggle up into his side.

“It went okay. Just took a little longer than I had planned.” he says, and I look up at him.

“How’s Trish?” I ask about his assistant, smiling and he stays serious and just shakes his head.

“She quit. So I guess I need to look for a new assistant,” he tells me, pretending to look at the tv but is looking past it.

I wait for him to fill in the blanks, when it hits me. Nick looks sad as he stares at my wall instead of the TV. A melancholy expression glazed all over his handsome face that he had somehow masked while at Emmi’s house. Dark under eyes circles adding to how exhausted he seemed. Had I been so distracted by Mike that I hadn’t noticed the pain in my best friends eyes?

“What do you mean she quit? Why?” I ask seriously as I sit up, looking at him.

“It’s complicated babe. She quit, left Hong Kong. I tried to reach her cell, her apartment in Denver. Shit Rin I even called her apartment. Her landlord said she came back, broke her lease, and left. Movers showed up two days ago and took all her shit.” The defeated tone in his voice makes me sad for him.

Nick was always so happy go lucky, and seeing him look so sad and lost takes me off guard.He really cared about her, which surprised me because he always shrugged off any idea of her when Emmi and I brought her up as someone to date.

“What happened?” I press on. I can tell he doesn’t want to talk, but I won’t give him a chance to back away.

“Babe…”

“Nick… What happened?” He sighs, running his fingers through his dark hair.

“She said she cared too much to work for me. I always thought you and Em were jerking me around. You know when you would talk about her. I was so fucking blind Rin. I didn’t see what a good thing I had until it was too late. Now she’s gone,” he says calmly… too calmly for Nick.

I hug him, his arms slack on my side. I hold him a little tighter, until he  gives in and holds me back. Then he shifted his body to where he was the one holding me close, burying his face in the crook of my neck. I feel something wet fall on my neck where his face is and I stiffen slightly, until I feel his body slightly . This is the first time in over twenty years of friendship Nick Riley ever cried in front of me.

After a bit he groaned, holding me close with one hand, his other wiping his face. Clearly he didn’t want me to see the tears.

“Fuck now I’m like a little bitch crying over a girl who just left after telling me she was in love with me,” he says pulling a little away. I can see a little of his face.

“You liked her,” I said. Then without thinking as the truth hit me, “Oh my Nick, you were in love with her.”

Before he can answer my phone starts to ring,
MIKE calling…

“It’s Mike,” I whisper ready to ignore Mike’s call.

“Answer it. I’m going to go to bed. Night sweetheart,” he says standing kissing the top of my head. I know he doesn’t want to talk about it, so I will give it to him.

“We aren’t done talking Nick,” I yell out and he smiles sadly and nods at me as he walks up the stairs to the guest room.

“Hey Mike,” I say as I answer and try to get comfy on the couch.

“Hey I’m home. You okay?” he asks almost as if he can somehow sense something is up. Between what Nick had brought up about Mike, and seeing him so sad about Trish, my mood is off.

“Yeah I’m fine,” I stutter out, not ready to get into all the things that are on my mind.

“I liked meeting your friends,” he says. I can hear shuffling and I wonder if Mike is getting into bed, instantly remembering my sleepover with him.

“Emmi and Dan adore you,” I say and I can hear him chuckle.

“Nick’s just a hard sell,” I slip in trying to make an awkward situation easier. It wasn’t as if Nick had been discreet about his feelings towards Mike.

“It’s okay. He cares about you. I can respect that. I like that actually. Someone looking out for you.” His voice is deep and sexy, but Nick’s words are still fresh on my mind.

“Even if they might not have something positive to say about you?” I ask and he stays silent.