Crystal Bella (23 page)

“I need some fresh air,” she said and she walked past him and out of the room and went outside.

Kali walked
outside into the courtyard area and sat on a step. She felt heavy, but also relieved that she had got it out. As she sat there, she really wanted a drink, a coffee, even a cigarette. She had not had a cigarette since she was a teenager. She felt like something to calm her down. Eventually after about four minutes Jason came out. He walked up to her.

“
I’m ready to listen to you, Kali. Just tell me what I need to do.”

“
Jason…I don’t want to discuss a possibility here, because there’s not one. It’s over and I really need you to accept it.”

Kali
then decided to get up and leave and locate that drink somewhere else.

“
I’m going to head out and get something to drink, I’ll be back later. Can you make my bed up on the couch?”

“Yeah, okay
.”

Kali got up and walked. The release of everything made her fe
el calm, that awful feeling she had earlier seemed to have gone. She felt much clearer in her emotions. It was a relief to feel that after what she was feeling just moments ago. She turned around as she walked away.

“I’m sorry it’s turned out messy here, I really wanted to just end this in the most peaceful way. But I know there is no easy way with that....I’ll see you later on.

She walked down the driveway onto the street. She pulled the wedding
ring off her finger and said, “for you Ethan.” And her heart said, ‘for me too.’

~~~~

After Ethan had dropped Kali off at the airport he drove back into town and caught up with Carl and Christian who were at a park playing baseball. Ethan didn’t really join in, he just sat by the fence and watched as they played their game. He thought it would pick him up to see Christian and Carl but he was feeling a bit flat after saying goodbye to Kali at the airport. Ethan had not felt like this for a while, those flat, sad feelings. He had been so high lately, feeling bliss, peace. He was so high on life and for him to fall back into mediocrity with how he was feeling was a bit numbing.
Oh well some people must feel like this all the time.
It was a combination of melancholy and heaviness.

He watched Christian, Carl and a couple of other friends playing baseball, hoping
somehow that would take away his heavy feelings, but it didn’t. He didn’t want to fight what he was feeling, the emotions were coming up for a reason, so he went into it. He closed his eyes and went within. He went deeply into his core to see what it was. When he went in there, he felt teary eyed and he wanted to cry. The feelings just seemed to say; it was a mix of the high and coming down and having to say goodbye and missing Kali, and the intensity of the love, and her husband, the unknown part there. He took a deep breath. Did he have to be concerned about the husband? And that made him cry. His friends were too far away to see his tears so he allowed them to flow. But that was what he was afraid of, Kali and her husband and the possibility of a connection. But it was so removed from the truth, he knew that, he knew there was no connection between the two, not now, not years ago. It felt good for Ethan to explore and go within as it made him feel more settled and the heaviness started to lift. His heart was telling him it was okay, his mind was in a small panic and sometimes that could happen. The mind could interfere and send negative feelings in. The mind wanted to control and could try and control the feelings through the thoughts. Ethan then laughed to himself, just suddenly at the realization that he was taking it too seriously. The mind always made everything so serious. He just had to accept and be chilled. He was already feeling lighter now so he went off and stood next to Christian who was out in the field catching the odd ball that came his way. He just stood next to him chatting about little things. It felt good to just unplug and enjoy the moment and be with this laid back day. After a short while Ethan took off and headed back home.

After making some light dinner, a salad in the fridge and some
potato salad left over from a couple of nights back, Ethan went out onto the balcony with his mom and sat outside and enjoyed the breeze that was gently blowing. Ethan had a hoody on with a couple of layers underneath so he felt quite snug. He really wanted to talk to his mom. He had so much going on with Kali and he had to talk to somebody. The need was building up and his mom was someone who could understand and listen.

Elisab
eth had a red wine and Ethan a beer. Ethan sat down with his mom and just having a beer in his hand, a view of the sea and most of all being with his mom made him feel the peace within, that was already there just waiting for him to connect to it. They were talking about small matters and laughing about little things. Elisabeth was already on her second glass and was feeling the warmth from that, then she remembered who she had seen today when she happened to walk past Edgeoholic cafe.

“I bumped into Natasha today,
” she said.

“
Really, did you chat?”

“Yeah
, not for too long, she is really special, Ethan. So I can understand why it took you a while to move on from her.”

“Yeah she is. It
’s funny, since I’ve met Kali I feel at peace with her.”

“
That’s good.”

“
I don’t put her in such a bad light now.” Ethan swirled his feet around so he was facing Elisabeth. “She is not malicious, she’s just a person, a girl, a bit crazy sometimes, volatile…but I do respect her for her color and wit, she is never dull and god, she was so beautiful.”

“
It’s usually how it happens, you don’t completely let someone go until you meet someone else.”

“
Yeah, so true.”

“
And how is Kali?”

“Oh mo
m I’m glad you asked. I needed to talk to someone about that.”

Etha
n looked at his mom, she was like a super woman. Sitting there on the balcony chair, her dress flowing around with the wind and her hair doing the same, with a red in hand, her gorgeous home looking over the water and this woman was his protector. No wonder he always felt special, when he had this woman as his guide, his protector. She was like his angel, Bella but in human form. They were like best friends, but Ethan had the extra bonus of her being a special mom as well. She would do anything for Ethan. She once said:

“You are God
’s child and I will always protect and love you and help you, always.”

I
t made Ethan feel so special when she told him that as a child, and that was always how she behaved towards Ethan. He started talking about Kali.

“
So Kali is good…but I didn’t tell you, mom but… she is, was married. We met while she was separated. So that’s why she’s gone away for a week, to sort that out and disconnect that past.”

“
I knew something like that was there, just the moment when I met her. You know when you get that imprint of someone, that feeling.”

“
Yeah.”

“
That came up and of course her Beautiful self.”

“
So I’m a little angst because she is over there and I’m here. Where is she sleeping?  All of those questions go through my head and its getting me down a little.”

“
She loves you deeply, Ethan I know that, I could really feel it when I met her...and the way she looks at you.”

When
Elisabeth said that it soundly godly, like an angel telling him the truth. “You’ll have to give her space to do this. It’s her stuff, don’t take it on, don’t rescue. Support her which is different. It’s being there for her as a friend, not getting caught up in her stuff. That’s why there is often a struggle with soul mates, one tries to rescue the other, or they go in with the fear of losing the other, and they can just evolve with fear.”

Elisabeth realiz
ed her wine was empty and had to go inside to refill.

“Do you want another beer?”

“Yeah thanks.”

Elisabeth went inside and poured herself another red and got Ethan a beer. She came back to Ethan.

“You feel okay
now?”

“Yeah I do mo
m. Thank you for the wise words. You’re super woman!”

They stayed on the
balcony until midnight before they went to bed. When his mom had mentioned the word soul mate, it got Ethan talking about his dad and the relationship between Elisabeth and him. Ethan found it interesting to hear how she felt about him, the love they once had, they were so young at the time. Elisabeth told Ethan that you generally meet two soul mates in a lifetime. She had met hers when she was 18, Ethan’s father and it was her first love. She told him the first love was the soul mate, and then later without realizing it you search for that feeling again, but it’s deep, you don’t really know it’s there, but that is what you look for romantically, seeking that old feeling, searching for it again with each new person you meet. It’s buried deep from the first soul mate, the feeling, and all the other romances after the first soul mate are human experiences where you discover what you don’t want, and when you do meet the next soul mate, and it is bigger than the first one, you feel like you have known them from before, another life and you have, but the main feeling is the buried deep one you had, many years ago that you had forgotten, that love from a soul mate, that different vibration and it comes back again when you find the one.

“She’s
the one,” she said.

“I know,
” Ethan said with a huge smile, “thanks mom.”

Ethan knew a lot but his mo
m was the ultimate teacher for him. He knew he was destined to become complete in this life with that kind of love and guidance that she unconditionally gave him, and he felt more complete than ever right now. He was at home with his mom, on a pristine night with all the elements reminding him of another home he once had.

~ CHAPTER FOURTEEN ~

BACK TO THE ETHER

Ethan woke up with his mo
m in his bedroom handing him the cordless phone.

“It’s a girl on the phone for
you,” Elisabeth said with a spark in her eye.

Ethan knew it wa
s Kali. He took the phone from his mom, smiled and thanked her.

“Hello Ethan speak
ing.”

“My darling a
ngel.”

“A
hh it feels good to hear your voice.”

“
You too, you sound close, I can hear you really well, like you’re next to me, but I can’t kiss you, but I want too. I want to put my mouth all over you. Did you sleep okay?”

“
It was okay, off and on, you know, couldn’t stop thinking about you…just wondering how you and your husband were getting on.”

“
Ethan I told Jason last night it was over, so it’s done you can sleep! So it’s ex husband now, thank you.”

“
Oh that feels so good, I just couldn’t sleep. I didn’t know where you were, where you were sleeping.”

“
I slept on the couch, awake, thinking of you, beautiful you.”

“
I shouldn’t have doubted…sorry.”

“
Okay when I see you next I’m gonna do bad things to you okay?” They both giggled, “but really nice bad things. I wish you were here, Ethan I miss you already. A week seems too long.”

She was always so sweet
to Ethan, always reassuring him, there was so much love. She was strong and Ethan felt that protective feeling that he got from his mother through his whole life, Kali gave him the same secure feeling, he felt protected by Kali.

They kept chatting for a whil
e. Ethan was still lying in bed. It almost felt like she was next to him. Kali was still in her nightie on the couch. They were inseparable, it was hard to get off the phone but Ethan knew he had to pick up Christian soon and get to college. Kali said she had to get going also, to get things sorted out and head into town. She mentioned that Jason was at work which made things a lot easier, as she could be by herself. To reassure Ethan at the end she said.

“If he was really special
like you, it wouldn’t matter because you’re the one for me and I know that. I need you like my own hot, sweet twin. But he is nothing like you. He frustrates me with his mundane ways. You have made me realize who I am, who you are, and the magic that life has. You’re gorgeous, Ethan gorgeous!”

She said the
final part in a tone that was so sweet with purity that he recognized so well, but only ever from her.

~~~~

Ethan got up, got ready and headed out to college. He picked up Christian on the way through. It seemed a bit different for Ethan to turn up and not have Kali there at college. He always had that excitement of seeing her and today he couldn’t help but notice the difference with not having her around.

They met up with Carl and they all headed to
their lecture together. Just outside the lecture door was Amelia, she was with her friend Karan that Carl had been spending time with lately after talking to her at the college party. She saw them coming and shyly said hi. Ethan was feeling more reserved today but was still able to remain social and chat away to Amelia. Ethan noticed that his energy was just a little down, he was always so aware, but he noticed it today. Again it was like going within and finding out why, was always the tool to understand, release it, and then the change could happen. Ethan could remember a time when he was not working or studying and he had become more lethargic than normal. He worked in a call centre briefly and that made him more lethargic and he would come to the office all bright and bubbly and by the end of the day sometimes people would wonder what had happened to him, as he became low in energy levels and it showed with his personality. It used to embarrass him a little as everyone was expecting joy and fun and he had nothing to give. Today had that similar feel, where he just wasn’t feeling the spark.
Get inside and ignite it and just be true to how you feel, you don’t have to be upbeat all the time,
he said to himself.

Amelia
was chatting away to Karan, Carl and Christian, while Ethan was pretty quiet now. After the initial conversation with them, he just edged towards the side of the group. Amelia wanted to talk to him. She moved over towards him.

“Hey’a,” she said.

“Hey
, Amelia.”

“Y
ou seem a little quiet so I thought I’d come over and make sure you’re okay.”

“Thanks
that’s nice of you. I’m okay, just a little so so.”

She looked at Et
han with her strong eyes. He decided it was okay for him to be quiet and just stay with his truth. Amelia did most of the talking. She seemed to lift Ethan up. Her energy was light and it brought him up. It was a nice surprise for Ethan to find someone who elevated his energy when he was feeling a bit low, it was a nice surprise.

Ethan head
ed into the lecture room with Carl and Christian. They went up the stairs and headed towards the middle where there was a gap with no one sitting. They all shuffled across the aisle to the open space. Ethan sat down with about three empty seats next to him and then there was Lenard at the end.

Carl was on his right
and Christian on his left. Ethan always liked to be in the middle, Carl and Christian were used to it and knew his odd arrangements that he needed sometimes. Ethan pulled himself forward and looked over at Lenard.

“Good to see you’re out of jail
, Lenard.”

“Did you hear about that?”

“Everyone did, it’s made you quite popular.”

Lenard smil
ed, because it had. He had spent time in a prison cell and a few girls that would usually not talk to him had been asking him about it.

“
It wouldn’t surprise me if you had something to do with it,” Lenard said half joking but also with a sense of intuition.
Very intuitive
and Ethan just smiled and gave a little laugh and thanked him for the help he had given him last time he was around.

~~~~

Back in Seattle, Kali had been wandering around town doing a few errands. She bumped into a close friend and they had lunch together and she told her about her new life. Since she was in the midst of it all she decided not say too much and kept the finer details private. Kali liked to talk and share but she was also very private. She was well aware that saying too much could come back to bite later. It was usually her sister Amy that she would share everything with, because she trusted her fully and Amy fully understood her.

She arrived hom
e hoping Jason would be still at the bank. It was 8pm and he was usually still working at this time, climbing up the corporate ladder so he could retire at 45. She kept saying to herself, don’t be hard on yourself, because every time she thought of Jason she found herself thinking,
why? Why did I date him for so long, why did I settle?
But she didn’t really know all this back then. She didn’t know what love could be like. She had no idea how intoxicating it could be and how it should be, and with Ethan it was not just about that, it was a deep love that had opened her up and showed her the world, and not a human one. He had opened her heart and her heart had opened her life, and that door had opened up places she didn’t know existed. Within all that though she felt some guilt with the transition here with Jason. It was not in her character to be like this, but what had happened was deeply magical and she simply had to go with that flow. She just wanted out of this contract with Jason that she had agreed to, agreed upon from the past, without really knowing the full picture. The ripples of that time, back then and who she was now was sending an energy that would void their contract. She just wanted to be away from that old life.

As Kali opened the door she could
immediately sense someone was there. The energy didn’t seem clear. It was like Jason had just walked through and left that stale air behind him and sure enough he came walking into the lounge. She couldn’t help but quickly think of Ethan. When Ethan walked in he made an entrance with his spirit, which his body imitated, and so he had a presence that was felt and displayed. It was quirky, brilliantly different. Jason walked in like he had just left a bank meeting, composed, solid and calm.

They said h
i and Jason offered her a drink. She said yes to a red, and he looked calm and he had a quiet moment of feeling like he had just made a good tactical move, she was having a drink with him. He poured the wine and had one for himself and took a seat.

“
I really want to sort this out, Kali,” then more direct than normal added, “what do I need to do to make you stay?”

“
Jason, we have been through this, I can’t stay. I don’t want to hurt you, but this is about closure. I can’t be here.”

Jason
looked at her, uncertain what to do. She was so direct and fast. He gave a sigh, and for a moment his heart emerged where he was not in his head anymore but looked sad and honest to how he was truly feeling. But she knew it wouldn’t last. He would take a breather with his heart and then he would return back to his normal state of being in his head and hiding his emotions. Kali realized she didn’t want to talk about them tonight. If he wanted to be honest and talk openly, she would be open to that, but this continued pursuit of her was becoming upsetting. It just prolonged the angst of their separation. She didn’t like it and she just wanted to be close to Ethan. Then Kali got her immediate wish.

“
I’ll leave you to it. Good night,” he said and went to his room.

So
fucken formal,
she thought.

K
ali got into her nightie and jumped into bed. She was sleeping on the couch. She had the light dimmed down with the phone next to her and she called Ethan.

Ethan had just jumped into bed and had the lights off with a candle alight. He had the cordless
phone with him. The phone rang and he picked it up. She was whispering, trying not to be heard from Jason in his bedroom.

“
I have to whisper because I’m in the lounge in bed and he’s in the next room.”

“Hey, beautiful angel.
”

“
You have to do all the talking, otherwise he’ll hear me.”

“Sure how have you been?”

“I’m good, I miss you, but you just talk and I’ll listen, angel,” she said in her whisper.

“
Okay, I can do that, I can just talk. I can talk your pants off. Well, I kinda like just talking, just talking to you and hearing my voice. It’s like writing into a dairy..you know there is no reply... but then I hear your breath, your laugh and I remember your beauty that touched me always now. You’re gorgeous and you’re hot, deliciously hot actually. I don’t mind your whispering voice, sounds really cute but also a bit weird, I won’t say creepy, but it could be anyone!”

“It’s me!” s
he said in a loud whisper.

“You could be anybody
, you could be the cop, the bird, Lenard or Christian. You could even be your mom just whispering. How do I know!? Now I’ve not met your mom but it could be happening now, that would be strange, you would be like……listen to this mom, it’s a boy I like. I really don’t want to make your mom horny.” Kali giggled, trying not to make a noise. “Anyway I was just joking about thinking it was Christian or the cop, I would slam down the phone immediately if they called and whispered to me.”

Ethan rolled ove
r on his bed and put the phone on his other ear, “that’s better.”

“What is?”

“Shhh, you nearly spoke...I was just switching ears and I also rolled over. So Angel darling, we both need to sleep tonight so we can meet up. We will meet up I can feel it, tonight, we just need to remember. With you being away, I get the feeling it makes it easier to meet, because it’s more of a need, our souls are connected and we miss each other because of the distance, so it’s important that we see each other and we can do that in the ether”

“
Okay,” she said in a quiet soft voice, slightly above a whisper, “I need to see you. I love you.”

“
I love you.”

~~~~

Ethan blew out his candle, he looked outside his balcony door window and he could see the rocks outside, he could see the edge where the cliff and the rocks met the water. It was all telling him something, something about his contract, the Crystal Bella. What was it saying? He could feel it. It was something about a death, or a transition. He could find out the date if he chose. He laughed, life was deep, he felt deep. He felt like the ocean tonight, he could sense it and feel its wave of energy. Then he felt a large presence come towards him. It was huge, she felt big. Who are you? The spirit was huge in its power and energy and Ethan realized just how big and evolved one can get to. The power was immense when he felt her energy. He was able to see and sense her and the vast size of her strength and wisdom. She was showing herself. Ethan remembered looking outside to the sea when he felt her and he suddenly knew who it was. It was Sedna, a Goddess of the ocean. She had come in and showed her beauty to Ethan and he got to feel how big she was. It gave him humility and he felt loved as she wrapped her energy around him and he fell asleep.