Shauna attention flew to the ceiling; she blinked, how does he know this? She swallowed. She seemed to nod to herself. Whether assuring her soul of the truth she’d always suspected or soothing it into a new and harsh reality, he wasn’t sure.
Her voice cracked with emotion. “How?”
He shrugged. “My father ran the pharmacy because that’s what he’s good at. That’s what I’m good at.”
Her tone hardened with a bitter edge. “Kimmy mentioned something like that. Who you are versus what you do.” Turbulent pools of pain and mistrust speared his heart. “Now you’re telling me you’re a pharmacist?”
“An apothecary.”
She stared in disbelief. A slow blink sent two large tears racing down each cheek. “Like in Romeo and Juliet, get thee to an apothecary?”
Adrian frowned. “Exactly.”
Her voice wedged up with sarcasm. “Oh, so you were helping me? How noble! What a fair night…” Shauna’s expression dropped to a deadpan scowl. “Well, I’m no longer in distress, so you can just go joust yourself!”
“Shauna?” He closed his fist over the knot in her robe. For security purposes. She couldn’t run that way. “Calm. Down.”
She elevated to a shrill note. “Or better yet, fix it. Undo it, All Powerful Apothecary. Go on.”
Adrian took a slow breath, willing himself to remain calm. “It’s not an exact science.”
“Yes, it is. It’s chemistry.”
He pushed a hand through his hair. “Don’t you think that if I knew how, I would have done it already?”
“Good question. Why haven’t you at least tried?”
“I didn’t want to.”
Surprise stunned her in her tracks. Shit. Must have said that one out loud. He’d worked it together on the way to his dad’s place. Her cure had been locked away in his brain the whole time. Why he kept driving there, he didn’t know. Until he got there.
He wanted Shauna for his own. Time couldn’t change that. “I was young. Stupid. I was selfish,” he admitted. “That night at the party, if I couldn’t have you, neither could anyone else. I wanted you. By God, you consumed my every thought. I was sure you’d show up that night.”
She looked away. “Well, your boys had other plans.”
He could only imagine what must be playing back through her mind. Her gaze chased across the floor for a moment, back and forth in short bursts before she squeezed her eyes shut. Her delicate frown deepened with grief.
The sickening guilt that festered below the surface of Adrian’s thoughts clawed its way to the surface. “Did they hurt you that night? Did they—”
“You know what? I don’t think I know you at all,” she blurted out.
“I need to know. I can’t make it right if I don’t know how much damage I’ve done.”
“No.” She shook her head as if rejecting the thought. “I don’t know.” She shoved herself backward on the counter in a feeble attempt to escape. “It doesn’t matter anymore, anyway.”
Adrian cupped her backside with both hands and slowly drew her back to the edge of the counter. “It matters. It matters to me.”
“I wasn’t conscious. I don’t know. The doctor said they didn’t, but it felt like…” Her words skipped with what must have been a painful hitch. She looked away. Her chest hitched again, and this time, the sob slipped out before she could cover it.
“Okay,” he whispered.
No more. He should torture himself through every detail. He deserved that much.
But she didn’t.
He couldn’t make her say anymore, and his heart couldn’t stand to hear it. But the quiet landslide of Shauna’s emotions couldn’t be slowed with the simple word. He could do little more than hold her as the tears overtook her strength. The sobs jarred her body. He pulled her face to the crook of his neck and wrapped his arms around her. Warm tears dappled his shirt and slid down the crevice of his neck.
This is how it should have been from the very beginning. He should have protected her. He should have shielded her from the world and hacked off the parasitic curse on his life the moment they’d met.
Adrian pulled back after Shauna had quieted. He steeled himself from immediate loss of her warmth and brushed the pad of his thumbs across her cheeks. The remaining rivulets of moisture smeared, and a dusting of youthful freckles glowed to life from beneath. In a moment, the moisture dried. The fuchsia tint returned to her skin, but Adrian had his answer.
It was time.
He flipped on the stainless ceiling fan and collected the mortar and pestle he’d prepared earlier. A few quick grinding motions and the lemon-infused concoction hit the perfect, powder consistency. “Come here,” he whispered, offering his hand.
She edged off the counter but seemed reluctant to follow as her hand slipped away. A few residual sniffs formed her only explanation. Her lashes clung together with moisture and lay low, refusing to lift and show what misery continued to wade through those copper ponds.
Adrian gestured to the open space under the fan. “Step one was the shower. You need the catalyst—the next ingredient.”
Shauna moved to where he indicated, at the center circle of a large, braided rug. Her actions appeared numb and mechanical.
“It works better if you lose the robe—”
Before he could get the final word out, the heavy cloth dropped to the floor at her feet. Her toes curled under and her head lowered with what could only be described as shame. More potent and stirring than all the wasted sex slaves in Nightingale’s trash heap.
Because this one was innocent.
Shauna hadn’t asked for any of this. Adrian, her would-be protector—turned asshole—had abandoned her. Not once, but multiple times. Adrian swallowed back the gut-clenching guilt. If he could wrap her in his arms again, he would. At this rate, he might never get her back.
He stepped close. “Breathe shallowly.” When her chest rose with a faint intake of air, he tossed the powder high. The fan’s narrow, metallic blades sliced through the air. The thin powder billowed and spun into a tight cyclone that enveloped Shauna. It brushed and lifted her damp strands of hair and a rash of goose bumps chased across her rosy flesh.
The powder didn’t seem to bother Shauna much, but Adrian’s knack for chemical reconnaissance made breathing a bit more difficult. He snatched a kitchen towel and covered his mouth and nose, not that it did much good. He squinted and blinked back the moisture that brimmed in his burning eyes. His sinuses filled with the sharp citrus tang. His lungs tensed. They spasmed with a protesting cough. He’d have a raging hangover in the morning, but he could fix that.
After several seconds, the cloudy air near the fan dissipated. Adrian hit the switch, shutting it off. He tossed the towel aside, and bent to retrieve Shauna’s robe giving it a firm shake. Tingling particles danced away like fireflies on the wind, while others clung to his hand and seemed to crawl up his arm.
“The powder bonds to the oil found in human skin, so the robe shouldn’t bother you for now.” He draped it over her shoulders and waited. The golden powder that coated her skin seeped inside, and it took the fuchsia stain with it. Her skin returned to the sun-kissed hue that Adrian remembered.
Still, Shauna wasn’t lifting her head.
He cupped her chin with his palm and gently urged her features to meet him. “Color’s gone. You want to see?”
The negative shake of her head would have been undetectable had he not been touching her. He breathed a deep sigh. “I’m really sorry.” He lifted one shoulder in a reluctant shrug. “I know it’s not enough, but I’m not sure how else to say it. I’d give anything to make it up to you, but I think I’m in debt for life.”
The dark, spiky fringe of her lashes stooped in quick succession. She’d opened her eyes, but she still wouldn’t look at him. Maybe she needed time to think things over.
“I’ll go get your stuff,” he murmured. Adrian shifted his weight towards the garage, but paused again when Shauna closed her hands over his, her grip desperate.
Oh-kay. Maybe she wanted her stuff to stay in the trunk. Adrian opened his mouth to argue, then snapped it closed again.
He didn’t want to hear her rejection. If he didn’t plead his case to keep her, she wouldn’t argue back. Though the suspense stirred his heart into an erratic rhythm, and his stomach soured with dread.
She leaned into him. Her damp head settled on his collarbone.
Adrian’s arms closed around her again. Was this a hug goodbye? Did she need more time to fight through her emotions?
No hitching breaths erupted. The rise and fall of her chest remained even over several minutes. Adrian stroked up and down along the delicate ridge of her spine, soothing and waiting. Waiting and soothing. Why wouldn’t she speak?
Both her palms, caught between them, flattened on his abdomen and began a slow upward stroke. Her breathing deepened.
A muggy warmth blossomed from the terrycloth cape wrapped around her. Not hot, she wasn’t scared, just warm.
Then it hit him.
An undeniable scent of honeyed freesia carried on the air.
Now he got it. Shauna wanted an entirely different cleansing. Something that would take her away from the heartache, if only for a moment.
Only one problem.
The tears had done him in.
His deep thinker had amnesia. It had deflated with the first drop and wouldn’t be found again for hours.
He stopped stroking her back. “I’m not sure this is a good idea.” If she got any hint that he couldn’t get it up, she might blame herself. Given his history with other women, what other excuse was there? “You remember what I said…about tears?”
Not even a pause. Shauna reached under the hem of his shirt. A rush of nerves jumped to awareness when her hands slid across his bare abs, and continued upward to his pecs.
Maybe he could keep her busy some other way. He had plenty of other resources. But if he took her to the brink and she started begging for something she couldn’t have…again…
Her hands slid back down toward his waistband, and he caught them just in time. “We need to stop.” That sounded like genuine’s fourth cousin, twenty times removed.
Her words reverberated against his chest. “You owe me.” Not angry, resigned.
Adrian couldn’t argue it.
Nor did he want to!
The shielding potion hadn’t been lifted yet, but with Shauna doing all the work—which she apparently intended to do—there wasn’t much threat of being burned.
He shot a frustrated glare to the lazy bulge somewhere below his belt. He couldn’t see it with Shauna in the way, but maybe it was better not to look at the disaster about to unfold.
She fisted his shirt and shoved it up, baring the lower half of his chest.
His gaze flicked to the wall several feet away. The fan had dried at least some of her chemical cues, but not enough. He could speed the process if he could reach the damn switch.
When her mouth closed over his flesh, his thought process reduced to a useless buzz. She cupped a hand over the bulge in his pants and began an inviting, up-and-downward stroke.
The groan that escaped his lips caught somewhere between pleasure and frustration.
Shauna still hadn’t looked up, but a sly grin curved her lips. She placed both hands on his hips and dropped to her knees.
Dear God in heaven…
His attention ripped to the spice cupboard. Honey, ginger, cinnamon…shit. If he could just get there and whip up a potent meal of aphrodisiacs…
The slow grate of his zipper seemed to echo through the room.
Underwear would have bought more time, but when he dressed this morning, he hadn’t expected the afternoon to turn out like this. He’d planned for quick, easy access.
To be a willing participant, for Christ’s sake.
With slender fingers, she coaxed out the limp appendage, its half-interested growth thickened mostly around the base. In all its wrinkled humility, the damn thing begged to be nursed back to health as it lounged along the entire length of her hands.
The pink edge of her tongue swiped across her lower lip.
No, not a gesture of nervousness. Her focus told him something else entirely. Her mouth dropped open, and her breaths came and went in a heady pant as she drew closer.
A simple hand job seemed appropriate for a first-timer. But Shauna clearly had other plans. Her mouth widened a bit, and she caressed the mushroomed ridge of his cock with her full lower lip.
She pulled away for a moment adjusting her stance, and Adrian swallowed the eager moisture that flooded his mouth. He embraced the growing tension in his chest and urged his body to beg for more. Her tongue flicked and swirled around his erection with growing enthusiasm. Then her motions softened and she pulled away again.
“Shauna—” His moan of torment came out louder than expected.
“I don’t know what you call it.” Her head tipped to one side. Her tone hushed with wonder. “I mean, I’m not
that
naive, but shaft…erection…None of those fit.”
Call it whatever you want, just don’t stop
. He opened his mouth, but Shauna spoke faster.
A small smile curved her lips a moment before she returned. Her gentle kiss started at his hilt and trailed an agonizing path towards the tip. “All I know is I want it. All of it.” Her mouth grew moist and fervent with every inch.
His cock grew heavy. A glistening bead of pre-cum greeted her by the time she reached the tip. When she took him into the heat of her sweet mouth, the growl of pleasure offered more than any word he could muster.
His hand brushed over her damp hair in encouragement as she took him in completely and delivered on the up-and-down ministrations her hand had promised moments earlier.
He slid his palm to the back of her head, and with gentle nudges, he coaxed her into his favorite rhythm. His head eased back with pleasure as Shauna continued, picking up speed and depth. The rush of arousal swelled his cock with a throbbing beat. One that fell in perfect rhythm every time he met the tight confines in the back of her throat. An all-too-familiar tingle swept through his body. He wouldn’t last much longer. He gripped her hair, urging her to slow.
Shauna refused.
“I won’t last—” His groan of half-hearted dismay was cut short by an uninvited female voice.