Cursed Hearts (A Crossroads Novel) (48 page)

“You
know,” he grinned, “mail theft is a federal crime.”

Logan
scoffed. “And your point is?”

“You
have a knack for acquiring things that don’t belong to you. I could use that to
my advantage. What do you say you give me that, and leave tormenting her to
me?”

“But I was just getting to the good part,” he said,
grinning down at the
page. “
And
don’t think I don’t know about the boy you were with.
”
Logan
paused, smirking at Christian knowingly. “I wonder who he
could be talking about?”

“Beats me,” Christian said.

“…
You’re proving yourself to be no better than
that whore mother of yours. You wouldn’t want to end up like her, would you? I
will only tolerate so much more of this behavior. Do not test the limits of my
forgiveness. Richard. PS: If you ever jeopardize my reputation or my career again,
rest assured it will be the last thing you do.
”

Christian clenched his jaw, ripping the letter
from his grasp.

“Touchy,” Logan said. “Man, that shit wasn’t even
that entertaining. Honestly, now I’m just fucking depressed. Someone give that
girl a better childhood. It’s no fucking wonder she’s a damn slut.”

“She’s not a slut,” Christian said, somehow
managing to keep his voice calm. “It was a lie. I never even slept with her.
All the shit I told you, Adam, I made it up. She wouldn’t sleep with me, so I
came up with some elaborate story. She’s probably still a damn virgin, for all
I know.”

“Really?” Adam said.

Logan gave Christian a disbelieving look. He had
this suspicion he
was lying now, but that
just didn’t make sense. Why would someone lie
about banging some hot, loose chick? Especially someone with
his
reputation.

Kaleb was a little shocked
by his confession. He hadn’t
expected Christian to defend her. He would be
lying if he said he actually cared, but
after
hearing the contents of that letter, completely hating the girl was
proving
more difficult than he cared to admit. “Are we done here?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Christian said, snagging the envelope off
the grass. “We’re done.” Logan raised his eyebrows at him indignantly.

“And where the fuck do you think you’re going
with that? I want that letter back,” he said. “As far as I’m concerned, you’re
attempting to steal
my
property right now. I seriously thought you were
smarter than that, Christian.”

“It’s not like you’re doing anything great with
it,” he replied.

Trent moved like he intended to take it back, and
Logan waved a hand at him. It wasn’t worth the effort, he thought. “Whatever. I
got what I needed. Just get out of here before I change my mind.”

Christian didn’t waste any time. He nudged Kaleb
between a few structural beams, leaving the group behind as they crossed the
field. He walked all the way back to the main building, cutting through the
cafeteria
and into one of the boys’
bathrooms on the ground floor. He took a
moment to relieve himself
before stepping over to press his palms to the sink, twisting the faucet on. He
washed his hands and splashed some cool water over his face. When he turned
around, Kaleb was leaning against the door, blocking his exit. He hadn’t
realized he was still following him.

“I’d like to leave,” he said. “And since you
don’t really have my back, I’d prefer it if you didn’t shadow me all day long.”

Kaleb pushed away from the wall, stalking towards
him until they were toe to toe. He smiled down at him, placing his hands on
Christian’s hips and pressing him back into the sink. “What’s the matter?” he
whispered, ghosting his lips over his neck. “You’d think you were scared of me
or something. I promise I won’t bite,” he chuckled darkly.

“Are you seriously going to fuck with me right
now?”

“…That guy sort of put me in a mood,” Kaleb
replied.

“Who, Trent? No…”

Kaleb raised his eyebrows. “He was giving off
some pretty clear vibes. Besides, I thought you liked the attention?”

“Sorry, but I’m not Rome. I don’t fuck in
bathrooms.”

“No, you’re not Rome,” he agreed. “Nowhere close,
in fact. You’re just a scared little boy who likes to act tough, aren’t you?”
Kaleb could feel the anger and fear coming off of him, and it was deliciously
amusing. It was just what he needed, the perfect way to release some of the
frustration he was feeling. He leaned down, forcing him into a kiss.

Christian turned his head to the side, striking
Kaleb in the ribs. It felt more like he’d broken his own hand. “Just get the
hell away from me,” he demanded. “I don’t need your shit right now. The only
thing Trent did was piss you off, and I don’t appreciate you taking it out on
me.”

“Fuck, calm down,” he said evenly. “I was just
fucking with you. Everyone around here is so damn serious and cranky. I just
wanted to have a little fun.” Christian huffed, staring down at the tile. “I
think you might be my favorite new toy,” he said, nipping playfully at his ear
and feeling him shiver
against him. “I miss
having people to mess with. What’s the point of being the
son of someone
important if you don’t have people to entertain you? I mean, really? This place
is a fucking drag.”

“You were serious about that?” he asked. “Your
father’s really…?”

“King?” he said. Kaleb nodded.

“Okay, fine. But why do you
feel like you have to mess with me? I know we aren’t exactly friends, but I at
least thought we had an
understanding.”

“Why?” Kaleb asked. “Why indeed.” He sighed,
resting his chin against the top of Christian’s head and trying to ignore the
thoughts and memories surfacing in his mind. “You treat others how you’ve been
treated, I
suppose. It becomes part of your
nature, maybe.” He stared at his reflection in
the mirror behind them,
wondering why the face looking back looked so hollow, so heartless and mean.

Christian closed his eyes,
thinking intently about Kaleb’s words. “It’s
not your nature. You
do it because you feel weak,” he said. “You do it because the only way to take
back your power is to do the same to someone else – to make them feel
helpless.” His mouth felt suddenly dry.

“I don’t feel weak,” Kaleb muttered defensively.
It was a lie. That was often the only thing he felt. He made an annoyed sound,
feeling like he’d intended to torment Christian, and instead had left himself
open to torment.

“Well now that you’ve had your fun, can you let
me go?”

“Yeah, whatever,”
he said. He turned away, not meeting his eyes as he shoved his hands in
his pockets. “Good to know you wash your hands at
least,” he joked
humorlessly.

“Yeah, and I brush my teeth three times daily,”
he said sarcastically, walking past him and into the hall.

“
Who knew you’d
be the most fun?” Kaleb smirked. “I hadn’t expected the kid with the tough talk
and the bad jokes to make for the most interesting conversation.” Christian
spared him a glare. “You’re so transparent sometimes,” he said.

“Me, transparent? Look who’s talking.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Kaleb said.

“So far all I’ve seen is that you’re worse than
me. You love getting a rise out of people and you hit on anything remotely
pretty. That, and you think everyone’s got a thing for you. Trust me when I
say, Trent is a homophobe. Hell, if he wasn’t ethnic I’d go as far as to say he
was racist.”

“Honestly,” Kaleb said, “I don’t understand it at
all. For vampires, sexuality is so fluid. Hate, understanding, none of that
shit plays into it. It’s about one thing: sex. It doesn’t matter who you’re
doing it with. It matters
that it feels
good.” He shrugged, feeling like it was the rest of the world that didn’t make
sense. “I don’t get why everyone here makes such a big deal about it.”

 “I agree with you. If it feels good, do it. But
I’ve learned that just because something feels good to you doesn’t mean it
feels good to someone else.” He sighed, trying to ignore Kaleb’s mixed emotions
at his back. “Fucking wolf,” he muttered, “making me feel all this shit from
other people. I don’t even want to feel my own feelings,” he grumbled.

Kaleb snickered. “I can sense
things from people too,
but it’s only
on occasion. If I’m very close to the
person, physically or emotionally. It’s easier
to taste what people are
feeling. Blood is just so much more honest and sincere. It doesn’t lie.”

He found himself staring at Christian’s neck.

“I can feel you looking at me funny,” he said.
“Knock it off.”

“Eerie,” Kaleb commented. “I wonder if two people
who can sense emotions would be able to sense what the other is feeling, or
only an echo of each other?” He suddenly decided he wanted to find out,
lengthening his stride and walking up beside Christian. He curled a hand over
his shoulder, stopping him near the exit. “Hmm… Anger, fear, fear, and more
fear. Nope, those are definitely not my emotions,” he laughed. “Good to know.”

“Yeah, I’m so sure. ‘Cause you never get angry or
scared, do you?”

Kaleb stared back at him.

“…Don’t you have somewhere to be?” Christian
asked.

“I’m somewhere right now.”

Christian sighed, staring at Dallas’s BMW through
the glass doors. “Well, you’re going to have to find somewhere else to be,
because right now, I just need some time alone.”

“Whatever,” Kaleb said. “It’s not like I care.”

“Right, because I believe that too.”

Chapter 40

Papers
fluttered down like feathers from the ceiling, falling around them as they
landed on Aria’s bed. Rome was quickly starting to figure out that blinking was
something he would never get used to. The love letters he’d taken from her
father’s study were now scattered all over her room, and the wand was rolling
noisily across the hardwood floor.

“I
guess it’s good that thing’s pretty durable,” he said.

“Sorry,”
she apologized. Aria watched Rome’s eyes as they drifted
down to her lips. They’d rematerialized in a
somewhat intimate
position, with her sprawled out on her bed and him
resting on top of her. Neither of them had moved yet, and as the moment
stretched on, the silence building between them was filling her with
anticipation.

Rome
pressed a gentle kiss to her jaw, trailing along the soft curve of her face
until his mouth found her neck. He gripped at her sides as her
fingers
slipped into his hair. He wasn’t
sure if it had to do with being close to her, or sneaking around, or just the
idea of being with her when he knew that they couldn’t, but he needed her. He
was dying every second his fingers weren’t
touching
her skin, thinking about every time they’d been forced apart
because
of Christian, or the curse, or someone
else getting in the way.

“I
want you,” he whispered. She made a desperate little sound in response and he
nearly bit her on the neck. He wanted to claim her. He wanted to clamp down
just hard enough to let her know that she was his.

“…You
can have me,” she whispered back, baring her neck to him in complete
submission. She wanted him to bite her. She knew what she’d said before, that
she wouldn’t submit to him, but that was exactly what she wanted. Aria suddenly
found Rome between her legs. He’d bent her knees up around his body and his
hands were drifting firmly up her skirt. She hadn’t meant
that
—it was too
soon. But stopping him was proving harder than she’d care to admit. He smelt
good, and he was being so gentle and comforting. His touch was filling her with
heat. “Rome,” she said, nearly moaning his name. That wasn’t helping, she
realized.

Rome was flush against Ariahna, and he almost couldn’t
hear anything beyond the sound of his own blood pounding in his ears. “Are you
sure?” he asked. His hands were already making quick work of her buttons.

“I—”
Ariahna breathed. His lips found hers,
cutting
her off and
nearly stealing away her
inhibitions. She moaned into his mouth as
his tongue worked against
hers. Everything he did—the way he touched her, the way he kissed her—it was
wild, and passionate, and loving. She could feel him trembling above her. This
wasn’t fair to him; she had to stop this before it got too far. Not that it
hadn’t already.

“I
didn’t mean… I just meant—”

Rome
was breathing heavily against her neck, trying to get himself to calm down and
listen to her words. Right now, stopping was probably going to be the most
difficult thing he’d ever done in his life. “I’m sorry,” he panted, feeling
himself gripping at her sides. He didn’t know when he’d gotten her shirt un-tucked,
or when his hands had slipped beneath the fabric, but he didn’t want to let go.
His teeth latched around the delicate skin of her neck, ripping a moan from her
throat as she shuddered beneath him.

“I
want you to be mine,” he whispered. He started teasing at her earlobe with his
tongue. It was tickling her, he realized; that only made him want to do it
more. He sucked and licked at her ear until her giggles turned into gasps.
“Tell me you want to be mine.”

“I…
I’m yours,” she said breathlessly. If he didn’t stop, she wasn’t sure she was
going to have the strength to push him away again. Her fingers were shaking
against his abdomen. She shouldn’t have been, but she was thinking about how
she’d watched him walking out of the lake. She could remember in vivid detail the
water dripping down his bare chest, the way the sunlight glistened off his wet
skin. Her hands had drifted up his shirt seemingly of their own accord before
she realized what she was doing. His hips careened into her, leaving her lips
trembling. She could feel him beneath the fabric of his pants. Somehow just
knowing how desperately he wanted to be with her nearly made her tell him that
he could have her, for real. And just like that, he was gone. Aria opened her
eyes, blinking over at him. Rome was sitting on the edge of her mattress.

“Rome,
it’s okay. We don’t have to stop,” she whispered. What was she saying? Of
course they had to stop, she thought.

“Yes
we do,” he said, his voice strained. “I told you I want it to be perfect, that
I wanted to wait until it was right. I don’t want to push it, and I don’t want
to pressure you. Plus—”

“Plus
what?” Ariahna said. “Are you okay? You’re scaring me.”

“I’m
alright, it’s just that… I have to tell you something.” Rome turned to look at
her over his shoulder, their faces equally matched with worry. “I know you
kissed Christian.”

“Please,
just let me explain.”

“No,
I’m not mad. You don’t need to explain anything to me.” She looked even more
confused and Rome just couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“I kissed Kaleb,” he admitted shakily. “But I only did it
because I had
to,
because he wouldn’t tell me what he found out otherwise. Well, not only because
I had to. What I mean is I—I kind of like him. I swear I tried to stop it, whatever
it is between us, even before you and I started…
this
.  But, every time
I’m around him, it’s like something happens.” Rome was rambling, and his heart
was wailing in his chest. He’d intended to broach this subject with a bit more elegance.
Right now he felt like he was tripping over his own feet and catching his fall
with his face. “Okay, let me try again. What I mean is that he’s cursed to be
alone, and if I push him away, all I’m doing is letting that curse win. And—”

“Oh my god,” she said heartbrokenly. “You’re gay. I
thought that was
just a rumor? But… you really like him. I feel like such an idiot,” she
murmured. “What was this all this time, then? Were you just pretending?”

“W-What?
No. That’s not what I meant. I’m not gay and I’m not pretending. Ariahna, I’m
in love with you,” Rome said, turning to face her. His hand hovered over her
back, but he decided it would probably be best not to touch her. “I just didn’t
want to lie to you about whatever is between me and him. And it’s not like I
meant for this to happen. I was pushing him away and holding him at a distance
while you were still doing the same to me. It’s just… complicated. I want to be
with you, and part of me… part of me wants to find out why I have feelings for
him. This really isn’t easy for me to admit. I feel like you’re going to see me
differently, like less of a man. But I’m not a cheater, and I’m not a liar. And
I’m certainly not going to let you destroy that wand without knowing that my
heart is being torn in two different directions. I guess I was just hoping you
might understand, considering how you feel about Christian.”

Ariahna
wasn’t sure she’d ever felt so flustered in her entire life. “How I feel about
Christian?” she said in a high-pitched voice. “That—it was just a kiss. I’ve
already explored that avenue and I know now that there’s nothing for me down
that road. It was a fluke, what happened this morning,” she insisted. “And I’m
trying to understand, but…” Aria sighed. “I don’t know how to feel about hearing
you confess you might be interested in someone else.”

Rome
was staring up at the ceiling like it was going to give him some profound
answer. “I’m just confused,” he said. “Maybe it’s nothing? Maybe he’s just
using some vampire power to trick me into thinking I like him. But honestly, I
just think that’s my way of trying to deny how I feel. And this morning wasn’t
a fluke, we both know that. Lying to ourselves isn’t going to make this any
easier. Christian is a part of this curse, and I’m sure it’s only going to be a
matter of time before he confesses to you how he truly feels. If he walked up
to you and told you he was in love with you, would you really be able to say
that it was all just a fluke? That you didn’t feel anything for him? You’d be
lying if you said you could. I meant what I said this morning to Amber, about
sharing. What I’m trying to say is that I’m open minded, and I’m just hoping you
can be too.”

Ariahna stood and walked slowly towards the door. This
conversation was heading somewhere completely undesirable, and she was
having a hard enough time processing everything he was telling her.

“Can
we talk about this later?” she asked quietly. “I’m a little tired.”

Right
now, honesty did not feel like the best policy. Rome sighed against his
shoulder before standing up. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry that this is the way
everything is. I’m used to pulling the short end of the stick. I’ve never
really known anything else. But if I just blew my only chance with you… I don’t
think I’m going to be able to handle that well, at all. And yet I can’t help
how I feel. I want both of you, which probably just means I’m going to end up
alone.” He clenched his jaw and hung his head as he walked towards the door,
stopping only once his fingers were curled around the handle. “For what it’s
worth, I love you, and I know in my heart that will never change.”

She
watched him go with a weight in her chest that made it hard to breathe. For maybe
the hundredth time in the last few days, she felt like a fool for being with
Christian when all she’d really wanted since she’d gotten here was Rome. If
she’d never let anything happen between them, her and Rome might have been
together by now, she reasoned. It was her fault all of this had gotten so
complicated. And as she sunk to the floor beside her bed, she couldn’t help but
fear that Kaleb was going to do the same thing to Rome that Christian had to
her. Hadn’t Rome said that he was confused? That he felt like he was
manipulating him somehow?

She
picked up one of her father’s letters distractedly, blinking down at the neat
handwriting and trying to read the words. And when she’d finished, she picked
up another, and then another, making a pile of memories near her feet. Why she
was reading them, she couldn’t say. Pouring over words of love and devotion
from her father to another woman wasn’t exactly uplifting. Nor was reading the
words of a couple cursed as she and Rome were now cursed. This was going to be
them. In a few days, or a few years, Rome was going to be gone, and all she’d
have left was regret. She’d been trying to tell herself this whole time that
they were different, that they could make it. But she could sense it in her gut
like a dark, devouring hole. They were doing the exact same thing so many
others before them had. History was doomed to repeat itself. One of the notes
suddenly caught her attention, and she found herself reading it quietly aloud.

“
Richard,

I know you’re scared but I need to see you. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about
Joseph. It was his idea to keep us a secret, not mine. He thought it would only
drive a wedge between you two, and it seems he was right. Me, I knew I had to
stay away for your safety. And Joseph is a good man. But I don’t have to tell
you that. He’s been more of a brother to you than a friend all these years.
Please forgive us both for keeping this from you. I know I don’t have a right
to ask it of you still, but now that we know how to break the curse, I’m
begging you to at least consider it. I’ve always loved you, and I always will.
Joseph is married now and I can’t carry on like that with a married man, no
matter how much I adore him. I know he resents me a little for the decision,
but he was the one who went off and got married. Family obligations, I know you
understand them better than anyone. He’s a husband now, and soon to be a father,
I think. I miss you Richard. I miss us. I hear you’re engaged. She is one lucky
woman. I’m not asking you to turn your back on the relationship you’re
building, but I am asking you not to forget about the one we cultivated
together. Please Richard, this is my life. I’m not ready to die. I’m not ready
to say goodbye to you.

Forever
Yours,

Donna
”

Ariahna
started searching wildly through the remaining letters, looking for any dated
just before or after when that one had been sent. If they knew how to break the
curse, surely it had to be in one of these letters. She tossed the irrelevant
pieces of paper onto her bed, wondering if maybe they’d missed one in their haste
to leave her house. Finally, she found what she’d been looking for.