I quirked an eyebrow. “I don’t just
sleep with men. I’ve had some women retain my services as
well.”
Dodger huffed out a laugh. “Okay, how
many men and women you’ve slept with.”
“
That’s a load of horse
shit. Of course you think about it.” I rolled my eyes.
“
The thought has crossed my
mind once or twice, yes, I’ll admit that.” He nodded. “But in the
grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter, because when you really
want to be with someone, you look past all of that. I don’t think
of you as a
companion
, I think of you as an actor. Paid to play a part, a role,
for different people. I wouldn’t get mad if I saw your face
splashed across billboards or saw you walking down the red carpet
at the Academy Awards, especially if you were an actor before I
knew you. But, if the roles you were taking were causing you to be
unfaithful to me after we got together, or were putting you in
harm’s way… if you were only taking these parts because you needed
the money you got from performing them, then, once we were
together, I would make sure that wasn’t an issue so you didn’t have
to return to that job.”
I stared up at Dodger in confusion and
awe, fear churning in my gut. He was offering me what seemed to be
the perfect solution to all of my problems, but even as I opened my
mouth to say yes, something held me back. I wasn’t sure what it
was, but instead of analyzing it further, I merely nodded and
patted his stomach.
“
Thanks for clearing that
up for me,” I said. I could see the disappointment in Dodger’s eyes
and knew he had been hoping for a different response from me, but I
couldn’t give him what he wanted, not yet. And for someone who made
their living always giving the customer what they desired, it was a
blow to my own fragile ego.
“
So, where are we going?” I
smiled as I turned to climb into the car.
Dodger didn’t say anything for a
while, and I looked up at him, standing outside the vehicle, even
as I reached for my seatbelt. He looked uncertain for a moment
before he blinked and grinned at me. He nodded and grabbed the door
to close it for me.
“
We’re going to the zoo,”
he stated before shutting the door and walking around to climb into
the driver’s seat.
I glanced over at him, not
understanding exactly what he’d just said to me.
“
I’m sorry, we’re going
where now?”
“
We’re going to the zoo.
You know—the place with the animals? People walk around and look at
them while a tour guide tells them all about the species and the
origins of where they come from? Haven’t you ever been to the zoo
before?” Dodger asked.
I inclined my head; it was a memory
that had returned to me with the nightmares, and I found myself
smiling just a little. “Yes, once before, a long time ago. When my
father was still alive.”
Dodger pulled away from my building
and headed toward the zoo, a small smile on his face. “Tell me
about it.”
****
It was a nice day, the sun
was shining, and my mother was out visiting friends. My father had
come into my room and excitedly told me he was taking me to see
Dumbo. I’d just seen the movie and had fallen in love with the
animals, but especially the elephant that didn’t really fit in with
everyone else. The one who endured so much hardship only to triumph
in the end. I didn’t know then how much my life and Dumbo’s would
mirror each other.
After getting dressed, my
father and I rode toward the zoo, singing along with the radio. My
dad loved old school R&B so he loudly sang along with The
Temptations while I tried to follow along, stumbling over words I
didn’t know, couldn’t remember, or couldn’t pronounce. My dad never
teased me, however. He simply smiled at me and kept right on
singing.
The line at the zoo was
long, with children chattering away, tugging at their parents’
clothes as they asked how long it would be before they got to go
in. I headed toward the line, but my dad lifted me up into his arms
and headed straight for the front.
“
Officer Timson! Good to
see you. Glad you came by today,” the zoo worker said with a
grin.
“
Thanks, Larry. Since I had
a day off, I thought I’d come on by and bring my slugger here with
me,” my dad said with a grin.
Larry looked at me in
confusion, and I knew it was because of what my dad had called me.
My mom was always calling me Beautiful and dressing me so I didn’t
look like anything other than that. When people looked at me they
didn’t see “slugger,” a rough and tumble little boy who played
sports and got dirty in the mud. They saw “Beautiful.” But, while
that was what my mother called me, that wasn’t what I necessarily
felt like. My looks were a fluke of nature, something I had no
control over. I was my father’s “slugger.” While I didn’t want to
get dirty, I loved sports, even though my mother didn’t let me play
them often.
“
Well, of course you did!”
Larry said. He waved us through. “Enjoy your day.”
“
Thanks, Lare.” My dad
walked on through, ignoring the yells and jeers coming from the
adults in the line behind us. I clung to my father’s neck, not
understanding why we’d gotten special treatment and been able to
skip the line ahead of everyone else, and afraid of what the other
people in line thought of us and were going to do to us. At four
years old, anyone yelling at me was a terrifying ordeal.
“
Daddy?” I said
softly.
“
Yes, honey?” he responded
as he headed straight for the elephant enclosure.
“
Why did we get to skip
everyone?”
My dad chuckled, and I
snuggled into his arms. I loved it when my father laughed. His
chest vibrated, and to me it always sounded a bit like a bear
snoring when they were in hibernation. My parents and I loved
watching the PBS show, Nature, and once, when I’d heard the bears
snoring, I’d exclaimed they sounded like Daddy when he laughed. My
mom had agreed with me, and the image had stuck.
“
Because of this,” my dad
replied, and I looked over to see what he was pointing at. Directly
in front of one of the elephant enclosures was my father’s picture.
He had his arm wrapped around the trunk of one of the elephants,
and I gasped at how cool it was.
“
What’s that?” I squirmed
to get down and raced over to the picture.
“
Your mom and I helped to
rescue this elephant and bring it here, so they are having a
special party to thank Daddy today.”
I turned to look at my
dad, my eyes wide, my mouth hanging wide open. “Really?”
He nodded and grinned.
“Really.”
“
That’s so
cool.”
My father came and knelt
next to me. “I did it for you, kiddo, because you said you loved
elephants. I would do anything for you. That’s why Daddy is a
police officer. I want to make the world safer for you so bad
things won’t happen to you.”
He hugged me then, and we
had the best day ever at the zoo. It was totally worth being
sprayed with water by the very elephant my father had
saved.
****
“
That was really awesome of
your dad,” Dodger said.
I squirmed in my seat, lifting a hand
to wipe discreetly at the tears that had begun to fall down my
cheeks. “Yeah, it was. He was killed four days later during a
routine traffic stop.”
“
I’m so sorry,
Tyler.”
I shrugged. “It happened a long time
ago. I’m over it.”
“
I don’t think you
are.”
I turned my head to glare at Dodger.
“Stop trying to psychoanalyze me, Mr. Vanderbrook, okay? I am over
it, at least the sadness of losing him. I’m just pissed off at him
now.”
“
Why, because he left you?”
Dodger asked, his large hands moving along the steering wheel as he
turned the car into the parking lot of the zoo.
“
No. Because he lied to me,
and he broke a promise.”
“
What?” Dodger asked, his
eyes wide.
“
He promised he would never
leave me and that he was a police officer so he could make sure
nothing bad ever happened to me. He promised nothing would, then he
died, and after that my life turned to shit. I was four years old
when the first really horrible thing in my life happened to me, and
it hasn’t stopped since.
That’s
why I’m angry.”
Dodger pulled into a parking spot and
shut off the car. Turning to me, he sighed and reached out for my
hand. I tried to snatch it away, but he wouldn’t let me. After a
lot of tugging and pulling, I finally gave up and stared at him
defiantly.
“
You know your father
didn’t die on purpose, Tyler. You also know, if he could, he would
have been there to make sure none of the bad stuff that occurred in
your life did. So, instead of you walking around angry at him, why
not forgive him, and remember the good times? The happy
times?”
I shook my head. “You have no idea
what you’re talking about, Dodger.”
“
Yes, I do.”
I grunted. “Whatever.” I rolled my
eyes, but I knew what Dodger had said was true, and from the small
smile on his face, I knew that he did as well. “So, why the zoo?” I
asked, waving my hand at the building in front of us.
Dodger laughed. “You’ll see. C’mon,
let’s go.”
Chapter
Twelve
We walked toward the
entrance of the zoo, and I was assailed by memories of my first and
only trip there with my father. I swallowed back the lump of
emotion in my throat and took Dodger’s hand when he offered it to
me wordlessly. Once again, as if experiencing a moment of
awkward
déjà vu
,
Dodger and I walked past all of the people waiting in line and
headed straight for the front. The only difference was, instead of
people yelling at my father and I about skipping, people called out
to Dodger asking for him to take a picture with them, or
waving.
I looked over at him,
quirking my eyebrow. “I know you’re rich, but you’re by far
not
the richest man I’ve
ever been with. So do you want to tell me why those people in line
are treating you like you’re Jason Momoa from
Game of Thrones
?”
Dodger stopped and looked at me in
horror. “Don’t tell me you watch that show!”
I shrugged and felt myself blushing.
“Maybe,” I mumbled. “It’s really good, and the guys are really hot.
Besides—” I pointed at him. “—tell me you don’t think that Jon Snow
is totally gorgeous.”
Dodger burst into laughter.
“I’ve only seen a few episodes. I’m more of a
Sense8
guy myself.”
I nodded. “I’ve heard of that show.
It’s on Netflix right?”
Dodger bobbed his head in agreement.
“Totally hot, LGBTQ-friendly, science fiction, intrigue, suspense,
sexy.” He waggled his eyebrows at me. “Right up your
alley.”
I chuckled. “How do you know what’s
right up my alley?”
Dodger tilted his head at
me and quirked an eyebrow. “If you can like
Game Of Thrones
, then you can
like
Sense8
.
Trust me.”
“
Okay. I guess I’ll check
it out.”
Dodger led me to the side entrance and
shook hands with the guard standing there who let us in. Glancing
down at me, he directed me to the left.
“
Maybe we can watch it
together?”
I stumbled slightly and looked back at
him. Regaining my wits, I shook my head at myself mentally and
squared my shoulders. I walked back toward him, putting a bit of
extra sway to my hips, watching as his eyes darkened.
“
Are you asking me for a
date or an appointment?” I questioned him, trailing my hand up his
chest to the back of his neck.
“
Which one will get you
over to my place?”
I grinned. “Today is a date because
you came over out of concern, so no charge, but you’re asking me
for something in advance, and until I can retire and find a new
line of work… it’s going to have to be an appointment, Mr.
Vanderbrook.” I pulled his head down and bit his lower lip gently,
before swiping my tongue across the abused flesh, slowly and
seductively. I shivered at the groan that vibrated its way up
through his chest and out of his mouth into my own, sliding down my
throat, and pressed myself against the erection that pushed
insistently at my stomach. My own groin had tightened, and I was
tempted to find the nearest bathroom and pull Dodger inside in
order to have my way with him. It would be different, since I would
be doing it purely for pleasure’s sake and not for monetary gain,
but I stepped away before I could be tempted. I couldn’t allow
myself to blur the lines between client and—well, anything else
that Dodger wanted to offer me. I needed to maintain my distance.
For Stella’s sake.
And my own.
My heart was pounding in my chest, and
I winked at Dodger as I turned away from him and headed to the
first animal enclosure: the monkeys. Yes, this was what I needed.
Something fun to take my mind off the sexual tension thrumming
between Dodger and me.