Authors: Alice Dee
She took her earlobe between her forefinger and thumb.
“I know.”
“I mean, I thought that we were going to be living together, starting our life together. If you don’t want to live with me, fine. But you’re almost always spending time with your parents and I’m starting to think that’s kind of weird. Are you really out partying? I think you are.”
Tristan sighed.
“That’s not true.”
“It’s not?”
"Look Dominic, I just feel that we don’t know Josephine very well. If she were to leave my dad-“
Dominic scrunched up his face.
“Why would she leave your dad?”
“I’m just saying that if she were to just up and leave one day, my dad would fall apart. I don’t think he can handle another let down in his life. He’d be lonely.”
“He’s not lonely, he has a wife.”
“And honestly,” she went on, “I think it would break his heart if I moved out. I’m his little girl.”
Dominic scoffed.
“Julie is his little girl. She’s the baby.”
Tristan was trying to keep composure but Dominic was starting to get under her skin. She could feel a fight brewing. Why must he do this, why must he bring out the bitch inside of her? She wondered.
“Julie,” she laughed, “stayed with my mom. She’s my mom’s baby. My dad has always told me I’m his princess.”
“Dude, you’re twenty-four years old. You’re pushing twenty-five. You’re almost in your mid-twenties. You’re not a seven year old! Give me a break, a princess!”
“Well maybe not to you. I wouldn’t expect you to understand, you don’t even have a dad.”
Dominic stamped his heavy foot on the brake. It scared the crap out of Tristan who had to grip the door to keep her face from slamming into the glove compartment. Luckily there were no other cars on the road.
“You know what?” Dominic shook his head. “That was a low blow. I feel like I don’t even know you, like I never knew you.”
“Sure you do,” she said with an eye roll.
“You weren’t like this back home. I don’t know what got into you.”
Dominic deeply stared out the windshield, seemingly lost in thought.
“Did you ever want me to come out here?”
“Whip out the violin already,” Tristan said.
“Just shut up with your bullshit and tell me right now. Did you ever really want me to come out here, or should I have stayed behind?”
“Why do you act like I’m the only reason you came here? Like you’re not benefiting with your fighting crap?”
“I came here to be with you, that’s just a perk. Now answer the question.”
“Do what you want Dominic!” She shouted. “Of course I wanted you here. But it doesn’t mean that I have to move in with you. We didn’t live together in California and just because you followed me like some sad puppy dog doesn’t mean I’m obligated to move in with you.”
“Wow,” he said, still staring ahead at the road. “You cut deep.” He nodded his head. “All right. Okay.”
Tristan tensely waited for him to scream at her or punch the steering wheel. Instead he took the wheel and turned the truck around. She wanted to ask what he was doing but didn’t say anything. He was quiet so Tristan knew she had pissed him off enough. Opening her mouth would only exacerbate the situation and who knew what that would lead to?
They remained in silence the entire drive back to her house.
“Aren’t you going to say something?” she asked.
“Just get off the truck.”
Tristan unbuckled her seatbelt and reached for her purse off the floor. She shot him a glance but he wasn’t looking back at her. He looked pissed off, more than pissed than she’d ever seen him. She cracked the door, waited for a response from him that never came, hopped off the truck and stormed off inside while Dominic peeled out and sped away.
13… screw ups
When Tristan walked inside her house she saw her dad siting on the sofa with a bowl of ice cream, watching Cold Case Files. She took off her jacket and walked around the couch, flopped down and replayed everything Dominic said in her head. Her dad noticed she was quiet and looked miserable.
“How’s Dominic? We haven’t seen him much of him lately.”
Tristan shrugged.
“Dominic’s an asshole.”
“An asshole? Why, what did he do?"
“I don’t know, Dad. He’s just always complaining about me not moving in with him.”
“Ah,” he nodded. “That’s a big step in any relationship. But then again, so is moving all this way to be with you. Actions like that speak volumes.”
Tristan sat up.
“Yeah but I didn’t ask him to come here.”
“You didn’t stop him, either.” He put his bowl on the coffee table. “What is it, you don’t have feelings for him anymore?”
“Sure I do. I love Dominic. But I don’t want to be pressured into anything. I know we’ve been together a while but there’s no rule that says we have to live together any specific time.”
“I don’t want this to rub you the wrong way or anything, but why didn’t you just tell him not to move out here?”
Tristan frowned.
“You’re on his side?”
“I’m not on anyone’s side. This isn’t even about sides. But now that you mention it I’m a little curious myself as to why you don’t want to move in with him?”
“I don’t know. I like having my privacy.”
“Have your feelings changed for him?”
“No, Dad,” she insisted.
“Are you sure? Frankly I think it’s a little strange.”
“What’s strange about it?”
“He moves all this way for what? Didn’t you two talk about it? Didn’t you discuss your living situation?”
“I wasn’t thinking that far ahead. I just thought he’d stay here with us for a while and maybe eventually get his own place which is exactly what happened. Like I said, I didn’t ask him to come.”
Daniel thought for sure this was rather bitchy of his daughter and her reasoning was making little sense to him.
“If you’re having doubts about him you should speak up now. Maybe it’s not too late for him to go back home. Not that it’s ever too late but you can’t lead him on.”
“I want to be with him. Just because I’m not ready to move in with him doesn’t mean I don’t love him. Why can’t anybody see that? I mean fuck, I stopped dancing for him!”
“Don’t get defensive.”
“Do you mind that I’m here?”
“Mind?”
“Yeah,” she said, fidgeting with her hands. “Like, did I just force myself on you?”
“What’re you talking about? Of course not. You’re my daughter.”
Tristan sat up and laced her hands together.
“What about Josephine? Does it bother her that I’m here? Maybe you two want to live alone…”
Dan shook his head.
“Absolutely not, Tristan. Josephine loves you. We both do and she doesn’t mind you living with us at all. Why would you think that?”
Tristan shrugged.
“I don’t know. I mean you’re retired and all, you came here to start a new life with your wife.”
He reached over and rubbed her arm.
“No baby, no. You could never be a burden to us. However,”
“However what?”
“You don’t want to live with us forever, do you? If Dominic is the one, you should consider moving ahead with him. If not, let him go.”
Tristan shrugged.
“I’m still young. I just don’t know if I’m really ready to commit. I mean, it scares me. One guy for the rest of my life? I mean right now?”
He looked at her understandingly.
“Honey, if that’s what you’re feeling, you need to let him know. Poor guy. Don’t string him along. Dominic is a good guy. He doesn’t deserve to be misled.”
Tristan stared at the chocolate and vanilla swirl carpet for a moment. She thought of Dominic and that gnawing suspicion about his next door neighbor. She didn’t like the way Dominic was looking at her. She could even sense Dominic getting all awkward around Hope. The thought of Dominic with his neighbor or any girl for that matter made her sick. No way would she let Hope or anyone even think they had a chance.
“I was so mean to him tonight,” she mumbled. “I was a bitch.”
“You need to make up your mind. Do you want a life with him or not?”
“Yes,” she said. “Yes, I do.”
“Then apologize and make things right again.”
“How?”
“I don’t know,” he chuckled. “Only you know that.”
“You’re right.” Tristan got up, knelt down to kiss her dad’s cheek and went upstairs to shower. She came back down the stairs a half hour later in jeans and a sweater unzipped to show off her pushed up boobs. Josephine was home now, crocheting booties for a friend’s baby.
“Goin out?” her dad asked over his shoulder.
“Yeah. Don’t wait up, I’ll be back tomorrow after work.” With her overnight bag hanging off her arm, skimpy lingerie stuffed inside, Tristan went to the refrigerator for water, grabbed her car keys off the counter and left for the night.
14… Rooftop Angeles
Dominic walked around side of his apartment building and climbed the iron ladder that led up to the roof top. He liked it up there where it was quiet and tranquil, no one around to interrupt his thoughts. He hadn’t been up there in weeks but tonight he needed to be for some moments of serenity, to try to piece together the puzzle. He always tripped out on how black the sky was and how many stars he could see. Back home the stars were hardly visible ever, except for some clear winter and summer nights.
He looked down from the sky that was beginning to cloud and stopped in his tracks when he saw Hope sitting on the edge of the building, her legs hanging on either side of the wall. She was wearing one of her long dresses but had it hiked halfway up her thighs, the sheer apricot materiel tucked between her legs. That haze surrounding her made her appear like a haloed angel.
“What’re you doing up here?” he asked, feeling like this was probably a dream.
Startled by his voice she turned her head which had been facing the other direction. She was just as surprised to see Dominic up there. He smiled really making her inner rain begin to come down. Her head was bubbled by a cloud of smoke.
“I didn’t know you smoke,” he said, walking up toward her.
“I don’t smoke.”
“Then what’s that?”
“It clears my head.” She leaned her head against the wall and put the joint to her lips. She was collected on the outside but heaven only knew how she felt on the inside…
Dominic’s heart started beating faster, intensified by her presence. He leaned against the wall and crossed his arms, placing them on the ledge. He was on a high too.
“Here I was thinking I was the only one who knew about this place.”
“Mm hmm,” she said, nodding and taking in a lungful of smoke. She held out her hand.
“Nah, I don’t. I mean there’s nothing wrong with it I just don’t do it myself.”
Hope shrugged and turned her head to the side, staring out at the sparking strip of lights in the not too far distance, all surrounded by a sea of pitch blackness.
“It’s been a long night.”
Hope nodded. “For you and me both.” All she wanted was to forget about tonight.
“How long have you been up here?” he asked, trying not to stare at her legs but thieving a glimpse here and there.
“Like twenty minutes.”
Dominic smiled.
His smiled tickled her insides. She just couldn’t take it. It felt so good it felt bad.
“I better go,” she said finishing what was left of the joint. She mashed out the roach. The end of the joint always tasted bitterly nasty. She swung her leg over the wall and hopped down, letting the material drape her legs down just passed her calves.
“Nice talking to you,” he said over his shoulder.
She twirled around, sandals in hand and caught him looking over his shoulder.
“You drink?”
Hope rolled her eyes up to the sky.
“Occasionally, I guess. Why?”
“My mom sent me this stuff. It’s like, this liquid that you like, mix with vodka. It’s kind of fruity.”
“Fruity is good.”
“No, I mean the other kind of fruity.”
“Uh huh…” she pulled her lips into a smile.
“Maybe you and your friend would like it.”
“Is that an offering?”
He shrugged. “Yeah.”
“Ok, I’ll give it a try.”
“I’ll get it for you now because I will forget about it.”
Dominic led Hope down the iron ladder, climbing down first and helping her out as if she needed the help. They walked around the building in silence. She stopped at a leaky faucet to rinse her feet and strap her sandals back on. Dominic politely let her walk up the stairs ahead of him. He tried his hardest to not look at her in that way, to not notice her fragile frame, her backside, her back, her body as a whole. His dick was going haywire telling him to feel one way while his head told him to feel another.
“Come in,” he said after unlocking his door. “I’d feel rude just leaving you out here.”
Hope paused, thinking about where that could lead…or not, hesitantly agreed and warily stepped inside. He closed the door behind her and went into the kitchen, divided by wall with a huge rectangular cut out. She could see him looking through cabinets for the drink. She stayed put in the middle of his living room and checked out her surroundings. His furniture was ugly. He had a coffee table that looked like he’d found it in the dump and a beat up box under his TV. The TV was probably the only thing new in that living room. He had sweet scented candles in glass jars all over that were probably placed there by his girlfriend.