“Ellie—”
“Vivian, I need to borrow one hundred and twenty dollars. Then I would like a ride home so I can call the bank. And once I finish doing that, I’m going to call Joshua Dawson and give him a piece of my mind.”
“You froze her account?” Vivian slammed the front door behind her and stormed into the living room, where she found Josh wearing nothing but bright red swim trunks that sat low on his lean hips. Droplets from his dark hair fell onto his bare chest, sliding down his wiry chest hairs in rivulets. He’d obviously just come in from a swim and he looked good enough to eat.
Good thing Vivian wasn’t hungry. She was furious.
“I didn’t freeze her account.” Josh shrugged, then reached for the fluffy blue towel sitting on the armchair and began dabbing his torso with it. “I merely called the bank and requested a daily limit of ten dollars be implemented.”
He looked so smug Vivian wanted to strangle him. “What gave you the right?” she demanded.
“Ellie and I opened the account together. She apparently forgot to remove my name from it, which gives me the right to do anything I please.”
“You’re an asshole.” The vicious words flew out of her mouth before she could stop them and the verbal attack left her feeling stunned.
What was she actually angry about? Did her rage come from her defense of Ellie or was she really just pissed off at herself for letting Josh get to her last night?
Still want me to stop?
His low taunting voice floated into her head as a reminder that she’d had every opportunity not to let things get as far as they had. Stop. All she’d had to say was one little word and nothing would have happened. But had she done that? No, of course not. And now she was forced to deal with the consequences of her own stupidity.
God, she didn’t want him here anymore. Though he was staying in the guest room at the end of the hall from her bedroom, it still wasn’t far enough. Last night she’d lain awake, wanting so desperately to go to him, to slide into bed next to him and let him finish what he’d started in the living room. She hadn’t given in to temptation, though. Instead she’d spent the night tossing and turning, unsettled by the thought of Josh in her home, frightened of the way he made her feel and upset with herself for letting herself feel it.
What had come over her? She’d had no control yesterday, no willpower. Instead of pushing Josh away, she’d allowed him to get closer. She was forty-four years old, for Pete’s sake. She knew the difference between love and lust. Knew the price of getting involved with the wrong man. The last time she’d done it, she wound up pregnant and alone. This time, however, she wasn’t worried about herself. It was Josh she was concerned about.
He didn’t get it. He deserved to be with a nice young woman who could give him a minivan full of children. Not her, not a woman who was pushing fifty, a woman whose body was past its prime, a woman with a grown daughter who was practically his age. A woman he’d no doubt grow tired of.
She wasn’t beating up on herself. She knew she had a lot to offer—to an older man. A man who would be satisfied with a casual affair.
Josh Dawson wasn’t that man.
“I’m an asshole?” he echoed. His lips twisted in a bitter grimace. “I thought I was just the
pool boy.
”
She fought back a rush of guilt. “You expected me to tell my daughter I was with her best friend’s brother?”
“Yes.” Josh’s nostrils flared. “But I didn’t realize what a coward you were.”
“A coward?” She shook her head, suddenly wanting to laugh out loud. “See, Josh, this is exactly why we can’t be together. You’re a kid. Impulsive, immature, throwing out insults when you don’t get your way. A
child
.”
Vivian instantly regretted her words as Josh’s face turned red with anger and disbelief. Not to mention the flash of pain that was getting oh-too-familiar. She’d hurt him by saying that, but maybe that’s what it would take for him to get the picture. To understand that the two of them were colossally wrong for each other.
She stood there quietly, watching various emotions dance in his blue eyes like colors in a kaleidoscope. Pain turned to irritation. Anger to bitterness. And finally a deep shade of determination.
“I’m a kid, huh?” He chuckled softly. “We’ll see about that.” Before she could reply to that cryptic remark, he spoke again. “Do you have access to the Internet on that thing?” He gestured to the computer sitting on the desk next to the kitchen doorway.
She nodded wordlessly.
“Good. Go boot up the computer while I make a call, will you, Viv?”
“So what exactly am I looking at?”
Josh watched as Vivian studied the photograph filling the computer screen. He’d asked his secretary to scan and email all the photos in the album he kept in his desk and, efficient as always, she’d sent the images in less than ten minutes. It had taken a few minutes to download everything, but now, as he stood behind Viv’s chair and saw her wrinkle her nose, his confidence surged.
A child? He still couldn’t believe she called him that, especially seeing as he’d stopped being a child at the age of fifteen. Immature was the most unsuitable adjective Viv could’ve picked to describe him. And he couldn’t wait to show her just how wrong she was.
But first things first.
“I’ll explain about the pictures in a minute,” he replied. “First we make a deal.”
She twisted in the chair to face him, green eyes wary. Why did she always have that expression on her face when she looked at him? As if it unsettled her just being near him.
“What kind of deal?” Suspicion lined her tone.
“I want to take you out on a date.” He held up his hand before she could object. “After you hear me out, if you still think I’m a kid, fine, I won’t push you anymore. I won’t touch you or kiss you or so much as sneeze around you. But—” he smiled slightly “—if after seeing the pictures you change your mind about me being—what was it?—right, an impulsive,
immature
child, I reserve the right to take you out. Do we have a deal?”
He lifted his shoulders awaiting her answer. She didn’t seem thrilled at the prospect of the two of them going out, but she didn’t look repulsed, either.
After biting her bottom lip again, she finally sighed. “Fine. It’s a deal.”
“Good.” He leaned forward and put his hand on the computer mouse, catching a whiff of Vivian’s perfume as he bent. She didn’t wear those fruity, flowery scents most females his age liked to douse themselves with. Viv’s scent was more subtle, lemony, intoxicating, the kind of perfume a mature woman wore.
He inhaled deeply, branded the sexy smell into memory, and clicked on the first image. A pig-tailed nine-year-old Ellie beamed out at them, clad in a pink tutu and white ballet slippers. “This was Ellie’s first major recital,” he explained. “It fell on the same weekend my entire junior class went to Los Angeles for the year-end trip. I didn’t go.”
He moved to the next photo before Vivian could comment. “This is my high school graduation.” He cringed at the out-of-focus shot of him accepting a diploma. “Don’t mind the blurriness, Ellie’s camera-challenged, but see all those students standing there with me?”
Vivian nodded. “Yeah.”
“To this day I don’t know any of their names. I graduated with them a year early instead of with my friends. I was sixteen.”
“Josh, what’s the point of all this?”
He moved the mouse. “Okay, me graduating from college, blurry again thanks to my sister. I was twenty.” He paused. “You know I never went to a single party in college?”
“Why not?” she murmured, her face fixed on the monitor.
“I spent days attending classes and nights helping Ellie with her homework. Weekends I’d drive her to ballet.” He chuckled. “I don’t think my aunt even knew Ellie and I were living in her house. She was out day and night, doing God knows what. She was living off my uncle’s life insurance, so she didn’t have a job or any discernible responsibilities to take care of. She certainly didn’t take care of us.”
He absently skipped a few of the images, mostly Ellie at recitals, and clicked on one of himself and a pretty redhead. “Me and Cynthia, my first serious girlfriend. This was taken at a bed and breakfast we went to for one night while Ellie stayed at a friend’s.”
“You look exhausted.” Vivian touched his face in the photograph and ran her index finger over the dark circles under his eyes.
“I was. I’d stayed up the night before cramming for the LSATs, then spent the morning taking Ellie to the dentist, ballet practice and then to her friend’s house.” He offered a wry grin that Vivian didn’t see with her back turned to him. “Can you believe I fell asleep right in the middle of sex? Needless to say, Cynthia dumped me the next day.”
Josh went through the pictures one by one, explaining each one calmly and with a little bit of self-deprecation. Damn, he really had led a boring life, hadn’t he? Once he felt he’d hammered his point home, he logged off the Internet and switched off the computer, waiting for Vivian to say something.
When she didn’t move, he firmly grasped the back of her chair and swiveled it around. “So?” he said, crossing his arms over his chest. He pinned her down with an expectant stare.
She stayed silent, making him want to reach out and shake her. Christ, hadn’t those pictures been the proof she needed? To him, the images made everything pretty damn obvious. The moment his parents had died, any immaturity on his part had died with them. He’d spent his teenage years parenting his sister. He’d studied for law school instead of partying. He’d forsaken relationships so that he could build a stable career for himself, so that his little sister would be taken care of for the rest of her life. He’d never once dropped any of his burdens or responsibilities on someone else, and anyone who knew him now could argue that he was the oldest thirty-year-old on the goddamn planet.
So why the hell didn’t Vivian Kendrick see it?
“I’m not a kid,” he said, slightly startled by the menace in his tone. He quickly softened it. “I’m a man, sweetheart. I worked my ass off to become a lawyer, and like you, I spent most of my life taking care of someone else.” His jaw tightened when Vivian still didn’t answer. “If you can’t see that, Viv, maybe I really am wasting my time.”
He gave her a second to interject. Another second to object. Then he clenched his fists and swiftly turned away.
Her silence told him more than any words could say. She still thought he was a child. She still wouldn’t let herself open her heart to him. He heard it loud and clear, despite the deafening quiet of the room.
Damn her.
Without glancing back, he strode down the hallway to the guest bedroom. His suitcase sat empty at the foot of the bed and he stared at it, knowing it was time to pack up and leave. What the hell else was he supposed to do? He’d given it his best shot, tried to make Vivian realize they were good for each other, but she didn’t see it. No use sticking around and putting himself through any more misery.
He found his chest aching as he moved to the cedar dresser and began removing random items of clothing from the drawers. He was disappointed. He was angry. And he was saddened by the fact that the gorgeous blonde in the other room couldn’t see what was right in front of her eyes.
Oh well. He’d get over her. He’d managed to function these last two years, succeeded in putting Viv and that goddamn kiss out of his mind and focused on his life. And he’d do it again. All he had to do now was talk some sense into his sister and then he’d be on the next plane out of this town.
“What are you doing?”
His fingers curled over a pair of socks in a tight fist. He saw Vivian in the doorway from the corner of his eye, but forced himself not to turn his head. Without acknowledging her, he continued grabbing items from the dresser and tossing them into the suitcase.
The sound of soft footsteps filled the room as Vivian slowly walked toward him. He froze again, feeling her come up beside him, smelling that damn scent of hers again. She lifted one hand and held onto his chin, pulling it toward her with two unyielding fingers. Unable to stop himself, he met her gaze.
“We had a deal,” she said quietly.
He heard the trembling in her voice but didn’t stop to analyze what it meant. Her hand felt too damn good on his face, her manicured fingertips brushing over his five o’clock shadow in a way that sent a single shiver tearing down his spine. What did she want from him? Why did she have to torture him like this?
“I’m keeping my end of that deal,” he replied roughly. “I’m leaving.”
He held back a groan as she slid her other hand up and cupped his face. “You said if I changed my mind about you that you’d take me out on a date.” He saw her swallow. “Well, I changed my mind, Josh.”
A small burst of hope swelled in his chest, making his heart beat a little faster and his breath come out a little sharper. “You did?”
She nodded, never breaking their gaze or letting go of his chin. For the first time since he’d gotten here she didn’t appear wary. Right now she just looked calm and completely unruffled.
“I’m sorry for what I said,” she added, lightly brushing her fingers over his lips. “You’re right. There’s nothing childish about you.”
Well, hallelujah.
“And I would really like to go out with you.” Her gorgeous lips curved in a tiny smile. “That is, if you still want me.”
Chapter Seven
As Luke steered the SUV in the direction of Ellie’s bungalow, he came to the conclusion that he was a complete fool. Not only had he kissed her senseless last night, but he’d actually warned her—
warned
her—that next time he would take it further.
Why the hell had he said that? The sleepless night he’d faced since walking Ellie back to the club and hightailing it out of there should’ve provided him with an answer, but it hadn’t.
Kissing Ellie had been the stupidest thing he could have done, given the situation. He knew damn well what she’d been trying to do last night. She thought that if she pushed him hard enough, she’d scare him away. Under any other circumstances, her plan probably would’ve worked. But no matter how much she teased and taunted him, he knew he had to stay. Josh rarely asked for favors, and the fact that he’d trusted Luke to come after his sister was reason enough to stick around.
He wondered if Josh would still trust him if he knew what Luke had said to his sister last night.
Next time I won’t be as gentle.
Christ, what was wrong with him?
With a groan, Luke pulled into the small driveway and killed the engine. His palms were unusually damp as he reached for the door handle. Damn, he had to talk to her about that kiss. If it were any other woman, he’d turn on the charm, explain it had been a mistake, and offer a quick
can we still be friends?
But it wasn’t another woman. It was Elenore Dawson.
The image of her on the dance floor floated into his head, quickly followed by the memory of how soft her lips had felt under his and how warm her tongue had been as it swirled against his own. His cock instantly stirred, causing him to let out a string of expletives that fortunately nobody was around to hear. Why couldn’t he turn off his desire?
Why do I have to?
The thought made him pause. He let go of the door handle and leaned back in the leather seat, staring out the windshield at Ellie’s pink bungalow. Suddenly he was doubting himself. Hesitating. Reconsidering.
Why
couldn’t
he get involved with Ellie? She was gorgeous, after all. Ridiculously stubborn, but he liked that about her. He also liked her fire. Her spunk. Her dancing amazed him. Her passion overwhelmed him. So what kept holding him back? Was it Josh, or was it simply—
The ringing of his cell phone interrupted his thoughts. Ironically, the second he glanced at the caller ID he remembered exactly why he couldn’t be with Ellie.
“Hi, Dad,” he said into the phone.
The sound of his father’s voice brought on the usual feelings of pity and weariness, along with the sobering realization of why he’d decided to remain a bachelor all these years. It was a voice tinged with sorrow and pain, hopelessness and defeat.
“You’ll be coming home next month, won’t you, Lucas?” Gregory Russell sounded distressed.
“I’m not sure yet, Dad. I might be on assignment.”
“But it’s your mother’s birthday.”
My mother is dead.
He wanted so badly to shout out those words but he bit them back. It was pointless. His father would probably never accept the fact that his wife was dead. She’d passed away from breast cancer almost a decade ago, yet the man still acted as if she was alive and kicking. He set the table for two every night when he ate dinner. He prepared two cups of coffee every morning when he woke up. He spoke of his wife in the present tense, kept all of her clothes hanging in their closet and bought her Christmas presents each year.
And he never forgot to celebrate her birthday. Gifts, cake, decorations, the whole production. Luke had humored his father at the beginning. He showed up for the birthday celebrations, casually ate his damn cake and acted like everything was normal. Until enough was finally enough.
He suspected that’s why he’d been so drawn to bodyguard work. The constant traveling, never really getting too close to the people he was supposed to protect. Though he had a small apartment in San Francisco, he was very rarely there, and that suited him just fine. Living out of a suitcase sure as hell beat seeing his father on a daily basis, witnessing the old man’s slow approach to the edge of insanity.
Luke did his best, though. Whenever he wasn’t working he visited his dad. They had dinner together, watched the Super Bowl every year, even caught a Giants game once in a while. When they were out of the house, surrounded by people, Luke even forgot about his dad’s deteriorating mental state. Until Gregory brought up Luke’s mother—that’s when the reality of the situation came rushing back.
Put him in a home.
That had been Robin’s solution, to sweep the problem under the rug and forget about it. But Luke would never have been able to live with himself if he’d just shipped his father off to an old-age home. His dad wasn’t senile, he was just…off-kilter. And Luke simply didn’t have the heart to send him away.
“I really hate to miss Mom’s birthday,” Luke said into the phone. He felt disgusted with himself for contributing to his father’s delusions but he’d been doing it for so long it came naturally now.
“Well, you know we’d love to see you, but if you have to work…” Gregory sighed. “There’s always next year.”
“Right next year.” Luke’s chest began to ache and so he quickly ended the call. With an abrupt goodbye and the promise he’d call soon, he hung up the phone and let out a ragged breath.
With a sudden burst of determination, he hopped out of the car and strode up the path leading to Ellie’s door. He needed to convince her to come home. That’s the only way he could put a stop to this ridiculous infatuation he’d suddenly developed for her. Once Ellie was in San Francisco, Josh would get off his back. He could take an assignment that required he trek off to some remote location and forget all about that explosive kiss he’d shared with Ellie.
Feeling like a man with a plan, he rapped his knuckles against the door and waited. No more playing around.
Time to show her who the boss is.
When the door swung open, however, it became clear exactly who the boss was. Not him, that’s for sure.
“Were you in on it?” she demanded, her blue eyes blazing.
“Huh?”
She either ignored his startled expression or was just completely oblivious to it. With a loud huff, she spun on her heel and stormed back inside, leaving him standing in the open doorway.
Okay. So Ellie was pissed, that much was evident. But what was she pissed about? Fuck if he knew.
Luke stifled a groan, stepped inside the house and headed down the hallway. He found Ellie waiting for him in the middle of the living room, her hands on her hips and a frown on her face. He wondered if she realized how sexy she looked when she was angry. Her cheeks all flushed. Eyes on fire. He grew hard just looking at her.
“Since Josh is conveniently not answering his cell phone, I’d like you to pass along a message,” she said in a clipped tone.
Luke slung his hands in the belt loops of his jeans. “Okay.”
“Tell him that his little games aren’t going to work. I called the bank and changed my account information, so let him know his latest ploy failed.”
Though Luke had no idea what she was talking about, it wasn’t hard to figure it out. Josh had obviously tried to manipulate his sister again, and as usual, Ellie wasn’t having it. It was a game they’d played for years.
“I’ll pass it along,” Luke replied in a mild tone.
“Good.” Her eyes continued to smolder. “Now I want to know if you knew about any of this.”
“If it helps, I still don’t know what you’re talking about. Scout’s honor.” He held up three fingers in a sign he was fairly certain didn’t represent the Boy Scouts whatsoever.
Ellie broke out in a grin. “We both know you’re no Boy Scout.” She paused. “I just made some lemonade. I’ll get you a glass.”
Before he could blink she bounded into the kitchen.
What the hell?
He had no idea what to make of her swift exit or the way her anger had melted away like an ice cube in the sun. But he’d seen that little glint in her eyes, the one that said she was up to something, and with Ellie that
something
always proved to be a headache.
In less than a minute, she reentered the room with two cups of lemonade and motioned for him to join her outside. She wore a filmy pink skirt that hugged the curve of her ass and Luke couldn’t help but admire the sway of her hips as she walked. He fought the urge to run after her, spin her around and kiss her again. Then he cursed himself for having that annoying urge and trailed after her.
Luke sat on the chair across from hers and reached for the lemonade. After taking a long sip and hoping the cold liquid might numb his groin, he took a breath and spoke. “I’m sorry about last night.”
The look of surprise on her fair face unnerved him. “Why are you sorry?”
“Because I barged in on your date. Because I, uh, kissed you.” Damn, why did his voice sound so hoarse?
That uncharacteristic knot of insecurity coiling in his gut made him push forward. He wasn’t going to give her the chance to speak, the opportunity to convince him the kiss hadn’t been a mistake or that maybe more could come of it. “I want you to come home with me. Today.” He held up his hand before she could object. “I’m serious, Ellie. No more excuses. You’re leaving.”
“Forget it.” The fire returned to her eyes, the heat of it searing right through his cotton T-shirt.
“Why the hell not?” His words resonated with the frustration he felt.
She lifted her glass to her lips and took a long swig, then slammed it on the table. “My reasons are private, Luke. All I can say is there’s nothing for me back in San Francisco.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it. You brother is there, the ballet company is there.” He fought an impatient breath. “I get that you’re still upset that Scott left you, but trust me, there’ll be other men.”
She ignored the last remark. Raked her fingers through her chocolate-brown hair in an act of sheer aggravation. “Why can’t you just accept that I need time away? Why must you and Josh keep pushing me?”
He softened his tone. “Do you think I like pushing you? Do you think I like pressuring you, making you angry? Do you think I like—” He clenched his fists, refusing to vocalize his attraction. “Please, just help me out here. Come home.”
Ellie knew an opportunity when she saw one. This was it, her chance to drop the mother of all ultimatums on Luke Russell. As much as she wanted to continue arguing with him, to tell him exactly where he and her brother could go with their demands, she had to play it cool.
Josh’s little trick with the bank today proved that it was time to take control of her own life. She’d always be grateful to her brother for being there for her during her childhood. With their aunt off gallivanting around town and neglecting her sister’s orphaned children, Josh had stepped in and assumed the role of parent and protector. He’d given her advice when she needed it, encouraged her to work hard at ballet, held her in his arms when she woke up late at night after a bad dream. But Ellie was all grown up now, and she didn’t need Josh’s protection. Or Luke’s.
Especially
Luke’s. The longer he stuck around, the greater the risk that she’d fall head over heels for him. She couldn’t let that happen, not when she knew a relationship would never be in the cards for the two of them.
It didn’t help that he looked so damn good today. His dark hair was tousled, as if he’d just rolled out of bed, though only the woman he’d rolled
into
bed with would know for sure if that’s how his hair looked fresh from sleep. And the way his defined pectorals rippled against his navy-blue T-shirt and gorgeous gray eyes shone under the afternoon sun only deepened his sexiness. No, he was more than sexy. Far more than that.
He was unadulterated temptation.
“I think I know a way we can help each other,” she finally answered.
Suspicion instantly flooded his face. “Oh really?”
She took a slow breath. Okay, she could do this. Just play the part of vixen. She was good at pretending. Every ballet she performed she’d had to play a part, become another person. This would be a snap.
Yeah, right.
“Last night when you kissed me…” She let her voice trail off in what she hoped was a breathy way. “It made me realize something.”
Luke shifted in his chair. “What’s that?”
“How much I want you.”
Desire flashed across his face, followed by discomfort. His obvious reaction to her caused her confidence to soar.
She got up with as much sexy grace as she could muster and eased down on the chair directly next to his. She could swear she saw him squirm.
Good.
“Ellie—” He managed a strangled warning that abruptly halted the second she lowered her hand and pressed it directly on his firm thigh.
“I know you want the same thing as I do.” Her confidence grew as fast as the bulge in his pants. Oh my. She swallowed hard, trying to find her voice and control the rush of warmth spiraling through her. Then she slid her hand higher and placed her palm directly over his hard-on. “Don’t bother denying it, Luke. I can feel it.”
His erection jutted against her hand, sending a rush of pure longing to her bloodstream. She lifted her head and locked her gaze with his. He looked as aroused as she felt. Her confidence tripled.
“So here’s what I’m thinking.” She ran her hand up and down his shaft, biting back a moan when she felt it stiffen even more. “We both want something from each other.”
“Yeah?” A visible pulse throbbed in his throat, telling her that Luke Russell was most certainly not as controlled as his steady voice suggested.
“Oh yeah. You want me to return to San Francisco. And I—” She grasped his erection and pulled it gently. He exhaled sharply. “I want something a little different. Do you know what I want, Luke?”
“What do you want, Ellie?” he choked out.
Suddenly the stifling heat in the air had nothing do with the rays of the sun. Suddenly everything around her turned into an aphrodisiac. The hot grains of sand beneath her bare feet. The wicker chair beneath her butt. The sound of the waves crashing against the shore. Luke.