Dangerous Dreams: A Novel (124 page)

Ananias stared at the fire, seemed oblivious to Elyoner. “A fool I am. Seen this coming for months . . . done nothing except drown myself in the
illusion that it would never happen . . . that John would return to save us. And now death glowers hungrily at us, and we’ve no escape. What a fool! Even—”

“No, Ananias,” Emily said. “There
is
an escape. Listen to me! Isna and I have often spoken of him returning here to be with me, and also of me going with him to the Lakota; for, as you know, I love him deeply and greatly admire the Lakota. But when he told me of the Powhatan attack, I insisted I would stay, no matter what, and do what I could to help . . . though all will certainly perish. But then Isna said he and his men would
also
stay and fight . . . to the death . . . beside me.” Elyoner’s eyes filled with tears. “Oh, Em, he’s so noble, but—”

“I told him I could not let him do that, but he again insisted. There was no changing his mind; so the only way I could prevent him from losing
his
life . . . and those of his men . . . on my behalf . . . was to go with him to the Lakota . . . become Lakota . . . be with him and his people . . . forever. And Ellie, Ananias—”

“Emily . . . noooo!”

“Yes, Ellie, that is what I shall do, for I love him far more than words can tell. And being with him for eternity, however long it lasts, is all I want from this life.”

Elyoner swayed back and forth, gnawed on her fingernails, shook her head. “Oh, Em, you love each other so, but what an awful decision to have to make . . . leaving your people, your family, your civilization . . . forever. ’Tis so final . . . so . . .”

“There is no decision, Ellie. I
am
going with Isna. ’Tis the Dares I’m concerned about. Isna and I want you to come with us. ’Tis your, and Virginia’s, only hope; for”—she looked away then back at Elyoner—“ for after the attack, there will be no English civilization here to be part of. No
person
, no
thing
of England will remain.”

“Oooh . . .” Elyoner dragged her desperate gaze from Emily to Ananias, to Virginia, then back to Ananias. “Ananias, ’tis falling apart . . . all falling apart.” She reached out to him, pulled herself into his arms, laid her forehead on his shoulder, moaned.

Emily watched patiently, her face tight with empathy.

Finally Elyoner looked up at Ananias, rubbed her teary eyes, then looked at Emily. “Em, Isna’s offer is gallant; but Father will certainly return . . . perchance even today, and—”

“He may return, Ellie, but not soon enough to save you or Ananias or Virginia . . . or anyone else; and if you’re all dead when he arrives, what will have been gained? I beg you, Ellie, Ananias, come with us, for Virginia’s sake. Isna will also take Lieutenant Waters, Roger Baylye, and Emme if they wish to come. You would not have to go all the way to Lakota land. You could settle somewhere closer, somewhere safe, perchance with the Monacans in the mountains to the west . . . come back here when your father returns. Please, see the wisdom of it. Come!”

Elyoner was frantic, becoming hysterical. “But, Em, how can I desert Father’s colony . . . our friends . . . our English way of life? I cannot do it.”

Ananias’ face flushed; his voice quavered. “Emily, there . . . there is a moral issue here. ’Twould be wrong of us to invite only friends to escape. We’d act as judge and executioner . . . as God himself. ’Twould be wrong and sinful to do so.”

Emily shook her head. “Ananias, this entire, miserable situation is
wrong
. Practically everything that has happened to
me
is wrong. And the slaughter of mostly good, honest people by angry Savages is
completely
wrong. So we must save ourselves and those we love.” She paused, suffered their confusion, their anguish as they glanced sadly at Virginia, one another, then back at Virginia. “And we cannot take
more
people because the Panther wants me for his own and will look for me; and when he does not find me, he will know I’ve escaped. And—”

Ananias said, “Who is the Panther?”

“The Powhatan Savage who tried to take me and nearly killed me at the Roanoke massacre.”

Ananias squeezed his lips together, nodded.

“And when he also does not find Isna, whom he’s sworn to kill, he will know we’ve gone together and
will
pursue us . . . and will eventually catch us, and we will have to fight until all of them . . . or all of us . . . lie dead. But if we move fast, we
may
be able to choose the place of the fight to our advantage.” She paused, let them mull her words. “Then . . . perhaps . . . we
will have a chance. Wakan Tanka . . . God . . . promises no more. But if we are many, we will move too slowly . . . fail to reach good ground before the fight . . . and we will all die.”

Elyoner stared at Virginia, pressed her hands together as if praying, moaned, swayed back and forth.

Ananias looked stunned, defeated, shook his head. “I know not what to do, Emily Colman. ’Tis such a desperately weighty decision . . . so . . . so final . . . so little time to—”

Elyoner wailed, “I cannot comprehend this . . . looking at each of you . . . at Virginia . . . myself . . . knowing we shall not see tomorrow . . . won’t even be buried . . . but rather, torn apart like James Lassie and Alis Chapman . . . scattered about to rot. My baby.” She covered her face with her hands, whimpered softly, then looked at Ananias. “Cannot Lieutenant Waters and his men defend us . . . at least long enough for Father to arrive?”

“No, my love. Waters has but a handful of soldiers; and the rest are untrained civilians, most of whom fail to appreciate the Powhatan threat . . . and will never believe that it descends upon us this very night. In truth, we’ve heard before that the Powhatans are coming, but they’ve never done so. So why believe it now? ’Tis foolish indeed, but ’tis how the doubters will see it. So I fear Emily is right. If Isna’s information is correct, there are but two choices: remain and nobly perish, or flee and make a stand, with a
slight
chance of survival.”

Emily said, “Well said, Ananias; and remember, you make your decision for Virginia, not yourselves.” She paused, glanced at Virginia, took a deep breath, spoke softly, but imperatively. “Ellie . . . Ananias . . . you must decide
now
, for I leave to meet Isna in the forest an hour after midnight.”

Elyoner started to speak; but Emily anticipated her question, interrupted. “We will not leave together. Isna and his men are not certain where the Chesapeakes stand; so they will go cautiously, wait and watch to ensure they are not followed.” She stood, flipped her shawl over her shoulders. “I return in half an hour. You must then tell me your decision.” She walked to Elyoner, kissed her cheek. “Please come, Ellie . . . for Virginia’s sake.” She walked to Virginia, kissed her, stared at her for a moment, then turned, walked out the door.

Outside she stopped, breathed deeply, glanced at the sky, then watched evening’s shadows swallow the last faint rays of the setting sun.

Emily sat with Lieutenant Waters beside the fire in his cottage. She relayed Isna’s warning of the Powhatan attack, her plan to leave to save Isna, her hope that the Dares would do the same to save Virginia, perhaps return later. She also told him she’d asked Emme Merrimoth to come; but Emme had declined, wanted to remain and die near Johnny with their unborn child. She’d also said she had an important pledge to fulfill for Johnny but would not say what it was. Emily’s eyes filled with tears; she paused, composed herself, told Waters she also wanted him and Governor Baylye to come but understood their commitment to duty would likely preclude their doing so.

Waters listened quietly then surprised her by smiling. “Well, Mistress . . . Emily, if I may call you that . . . I thought my military career would be longer than this; but I guess one can never predict such things, can one? And alas, you are correct. I
am
bound by duty to defend the colony . . . to the end; and I
will
do my duty, as will Governor Baylye. But I will inform him of your kind offer.” He looked away for a moment then gazed deeply, lingeringly into her striking blue eyes. “You know, Milady, that day back at Roanoke, in the beginning, when I said you were an angel . . . I was right. You
are
an angel. No more beautiful, brave, kind, unassuming, and wonderful woman has ever graced this earth; and were it not for my commitment to one Rebecca Roberts in England and my duty to the colony, I would follow you to the ends of the earth.”

Emily blushed, tried to smile. “You’re too kind, Lieutenant.”

“Nay, Mistress. I speak the truth. But since fate has chosen to proceed in the manner it has, I ask a favor.”

“Certainly.”

“If you ever again see England, would you be so kind as to go to York and tell my parents, Squire Richard and Mary Waters, as well as Rebecca Roberts, what befell me, that I did my duty to Queen and country, and that I died bravely in battle?”

Emily couldn’t speak, tasted the salty warmth of sudden tears flowing down her cheeks to her lips. Dear God, he speaks serenely of dying, accepts it without fear. Yet, could any soldier view death in battle otherwise? I think not; but still, to know your life will soon end, that naught but pain and horror await you with dreadful finality . . . and still do your duty. Is this not the essence of courage—the steadfast resolve to face whatever comes, with honor, bravery, and dedication, no matter what? Lieutenant William Waters . . . so young . . . such an immensely fine man . . . will soon be no more. She bit her lower lip. “I shall, Lieutenant. I promise you. But . . . but I must also tell you that your strength and courage compel me to remain here . . . with my countrymen . . . face fate with them. ’Tis only—”

Waters shook his head, touched her cheek. “Nay, Emily. Do not torment yourself. You’ve made the proper choice. I do not know these Lakota, but I’ve seen enough to know that your Isna is as fine a man as the best Englishman I’ve ever known . . . and most certainly as noble, courageous, and proficient a warrior as there is in this world. A soldier senses these things. And though you embark on a bold journey, I know he will give you the love and care you deserve.”

She rubbed her eyes. “Forgive me. Cannot seem to rid myself of these constant tears. But thank you, Lieutenant, you are again too kind.” She stared into his eyes for several seconds then suddenly reached out, touched his shoulders, pulled him close, kissed his cheek. “Goodbye, William Waters.” She slowly stood, sniffled, turned toward the door.

Waters rose. “Emily, the palisades will be heavily guarded tonight. We will make preparations until the attack comes. You must depart quietly through the west gap. I will guard that section after midnight and will watch for you and the Dares. Say nothing. Simply slip through the gap, veer left, and make directly for the forest.” He took her hands in his. “One more thing . . . a matter of grave importance. Tayler’s men have sworn to join the fight against the Powhatans, for ’tis in their interest to do so. But I believe they remain loyal to
him
and will continue to do his bidding . . . now and if we survive. So tell no one of your plan and show no sign of your intentions, in case you are watched.”

An unsettling chill raced through her body. She nodded. “I shall heed your warning. Thank you . . . William.”

He stared into her eyes, leaned slowly forward, kissed her lips, smiled. “Godspeed, Emily Colman.”

The Panther’s wife lay beside her sleeping young son, softly caressed his cheek with a mother’s gentle touch. “You are handsome, my brave little warrior . . . like your father. And you shall grow to be as great a warrior as he . . . perhaps greater . . . and you shall make him proud . . . he, the Panther, the greatest warrior of the Powhatan chiefdom . . . its strongest and wisest war leader . . . the right hand of the great Wahunsunacock . . . the one Wahunsunacock relies on in all matters. Yes, you shall grow to manhood knowing this is so . . . and that you are of his flesh and destined to be great like him. He will know your strength from the moment you shoot your first arrow from your little-boy bow . . . and he will know that greatness follows him in his own lodge.” She leaned close, kissed his cheek, studied his sleeping face. “It shall be so. So rest well, my little one. Rest well, so you may greet your father when he returns from the great victory he leads tonight.”