Dangerous Dreams: A Novel (87 page)

Shines is her friend. She knows white women, knows some of their words. Would it not be wise for Isna to talk to Shines, learn what she knows of Emily’s heart and her pain, and
then
find Emily and know
her
mind? And would it not also be wise for Isna to watch this evil one? His mind churned for a moment as he tried to consider arguments against his plan, but he soon shook his head. No, these things Isna must do.

The naked, towering trees at the edge of the forest beside the graveyard rose starkly above the snow, rendered a gloomy feel to the small, pole-fenced plot and its nine graves. The melting snow had left the ground soft and muddy, particularly in the grassless graveyard; and while a steady, misty rain relentlessly consumed what remained of the snow and worsened the gloomy atmosphere, Elyoner and Emily, their hooded wool capes already heavy with water, held hands, huddled together beside Thomas Colman’s grave.

Graveyards had never bothered Emily, but this one was different. The wintry gloom and her intimacy with two people at rest in
this
graveyard magnified her grief and discomfort as she glanced between her father’s grave and that of baby Henry Harvie. She’d visited Henry every day before the rape, but her condition and that of her father had since precluded such visits, a negligence that pained her when she thought of it. She relived her father’s last anguished moments, the promise she’d resisted but known was inevitable. Thin tears, masked by the now-pouring rain, filled her bloodshot eyes as she looked at Elyoner with a despairing look. “Ellie, what’s to become of us?”

Elyoner sighed, shook her head. “None but the Lord knows that, my friend. But I fervently pray Father returns with the first breath of spring.”

“Aye to that. Have you ever—oh!” Emily abruptly clutched her stomach, took several deep breaths.

“What is it, Em?”

Three more quick breaths. “I’m fine. Just . . . just a sudden cramp.”

Elyoner smiled. “Oh, is it your time?”

Emily looked at her with guilty eyes, quickly lowered her gaze. “Yes.” She hesitated then looked up at Elyoner. “No, Ellie, ’tis actually
not
my time. Ellie?”

Elyoner shed her smile, frowned at her. “Yes, Em.”

Emily hesitated then shook her head. “Sorry, I . . . I don’t know what I was thinking.” She took another deep breath, clutched her abdomen again, felt a wave of nausea rising to her throat, turned away.

“Emily Colman. Pray tell, what is wrong with you? By the saints, you are quite obviously
not
well. What ails you?”

“Nothing ails me. Why do you hound me like an old crone with nothing better to do?” Her eyes immediately saddened; her lower lip protruded like a child’s when it’s about to cry. She took a deep breath, exhaled slowly. “Forgive me, Ellie. That was most cruel of me. I didn’t mean it at all. I’m truly sorry.” She shook her head. “You’re right, I am
not
myself. I should leave.” She turned, started to walk away.

Elyoner grasped her wrist, gently restrained her. “Emily Colman, this is not about your father. Something else is gravely wrong, but I can’t help you unless you tell me what it is. Truly, lass, your milk has withered, and you’re someone other than yourself, and I’ve seen you look and act as if . . . as if you’re in a condition I know you can’t be in. I see quite clearly that something is wrong. So please tell me what it is.” She waited expectantly, but Emily said nothing. She assumed a stern pose, spoke as if scolding a child. “Very well then. I heard there was an incident in the Chesapeake village, an incident with you and Hugh Tayler, and then Isna. I heard ’twas quite unsightly: that you screamed at Tayler, that he seized you and shook you, and that Isna approached him, threatened him by his very presence, and drove him away.”

Emily stared at her with a horrified look, covered her mouth with her hands.

“And then you spoke to Isna in his language then in English, but no one heard what you said.”

Emily began to tremble, felt herself unraveling toward hysteria.

“Then Isna walked away, you fell to your knees and wept, and Shines came to you and comforted you.”

Emily sniffled, rubbed her eyes. “Ellie, Ellie.” She pulled herself into Elyoner’s arms. “I don’t know what to do. I’m so confused, so afraid.” The rain intensified, splashed off their hoods and shoulders.

Elyoner closed her eyes, hugged Emily, rocked her back and forth, then whispered softly to her as if she were a child, “Em, my dear Em, you must let me help you. Please tell me what destroys you so.” Neither spoke until Elyoner held her lips to Emily’s ear, whispered over the roar of the rain,
“Emily Colman is a woman of great strength, and she
will
persevere and overcome her trials. But first, she must share her burden with her dearest friend. Please, Em, let me help you. And since I already know what happened in the Chesapeake village, pray begin there. What was Tayler doing? Why did you scream at him?” Emily remained silent. “You told him to leave, asked him if he knew what he’d done to you. Emily, what did he do to you? Did he . . . did he force himself on you that day in the forest?”

Emily covered her face with her hands, turned away, sank to her knees in the mud. “Noooooo . . .” My God, Mother, I so want to tell her. How can I bear this?

“Then what
did
he do?”

Emily sat crouched, shivering in the mud and rain.

“Please, Emily, release your burden; tell me what happened!”

“I can’t!”

“So he
did
do something.”

No answer.

“Emily, you
must
tell me.” She shook her head as rain dripped off her nose. “There’s but one thing that could upset you like this. So I’ll ask again, did he . . . did he force himself on you?” Elyoner dropped to her knees beside her, put her arm around her, leaned close to her ear. “Emily, did he
rape
you?”

Emily screamed through a sudden rush of tears, “No, Ellie! No. He didn’t. Now leave me alone. I don’t want to talk anymore. I must go.” Lord, make her leave me.

“You’re lying to me, Emily Colman. I know you are. You’re hiding the truth. He did something terrible to you and has scared you into silence. And by the saints above, I shall find out what it is and make him pay. Rape is a capital offense, and if it has happened to my dearest friend, there will be hell to pay. That I promise.” A flash of alarm swept Elyoner’s face. “Emily? Are you . . . are you with child?”

Emily moaned softly then whispered with a submissive, quavering voice, “Ellie, please leave me alone. Please, I implore you. Don’t ask me this.”

Elyoner knelt in the mud beside her, put her arm around her; gently pushed her wet, matted tangles of hair aside, brushed the dripping rain and
mud from her face; pulled her close, kissed her cheek. “My dearest Emily, you
cannot
bear this alone. I know what’s happened; your silence confirms it. And I shall do something about it.”

Emily opened distraught, desperate eyes. “No, Ellie. You mustn’t do anything or say anything to anyone. Promise me, please, Ellie. Much depends on it.” Lord, make her listen.

Elyoner looked at her with wondering eyes and parted lips.

“Please, Ellie. Promise me.”

Elyoner held her look and her silence, finally said, “Very well, Em. I promise, but ’tis only for today. This is not the end of it. I
shall
be an old crone, and hound you until you tell me what’s happened and let me help. Do you hear me, Emily Colman?”

Emily sniffled. Her voice was a weak, broken whisper. “Yes . . . I hear you.”

“Now I’ve something to tell you.”

Emily looked at her with hopeless eyes.

“I talked to Shines today. She’s difficult for me to understand, but she told me to tell you that Isna talked to her, that his heart is sick with love for you, and he doesn’t understand why you turned away from him. She also said he knows some great pain afflicts you, and he would help you bear it and place it behind you no matter what it is or what it takes.”

Emily again planted her face in her muddy hands, shrieked, “Ellie, I love him!” Her body trembled wildly. “I can’t live without him . . . but I cannot face him.”

“Yes, you can, Emily. And you must. You must go to him. He loves you, and he’s shown himself to be the only man in this world worthy of you. He’s certainly changed my notion of . . . of these people
we
call Savages.” Elyoner leaned down, again pulled Emily close, kissed her cheek. “Emily, you must go to him.”

“I can’t, Ellie. I can’t, ever. I’m so ashamed, so unworthy. Oh, Ellie, what am I do? My life, my hopes, everything, all of it gone.”

“You can’t speak like this, lass. Whatever’s happened was not your fault, and you bear no shame or dishonor for it. You must purge such notions from your mind.” She shook her head. “We shall cross this river together. Now
come with me. We’re soaked to our bones. Let us escape this rain to my house. And I want you to move in with us immediately.”

Emily shook her head. “No, Ellie. I can’t. ’Twould be a terrible intrusion.”

“Now you listen, little sister. Though you hide it and deny it, I’ve no uncertainty what’s befallen you. And what’s befallen you is the most pressing reason to do as I say. So if you lack the good sense to care for yourself, I shall provide it; and you, Mistress Colman, are coming to live in my house. And that is final!”

Emily rubbed her eyes, smeared mud over her cheeks and forehead. “Ellie, there’s something I must tell you.”

Elyoner leaned back with a skeptical look.

“Father’s last words were a plea—a desperate plea—that I marry Hugh Tayler.”

“No, Emily.”

“Ellie, I refused him again and again, but he persisted,
begged
me, almost with his dying breath, and . . . and Ellie, I
had
to say
yes
.”

“No, Em.”

“Yes. I’d no choice.”

“Em, you
do
have a choice. You don’t love Tayler; and if he’s done what I fear he’s done, marrying him will only worsen things. Trust me, sister. You’ll only condemn yourself to misery and pain.” She placed her hands on the sides of Emily’s head, pulled her close, focused intently on her eyes. “You love Isna not Tayler. Do not do this to yourself. Denounce Tayler; go to Isna.”

She looked at the ground. “But, Ellie, I promised Father even as he died!”

“God forgives promises forced by threat or duress . . . and you are most certainly under both. You’ve no obligation to honor that promise.”

“You don’t understand. I’ve no choice. If I don’t do as . . . Ellie, I must marry him.”

“Do as what?”

“Nothing.”

Elyoner shook her head. “Em . . .’tis wrong as wrong can be. But enough! You’re a muddy mess. To my house and dry clothes. I want you near me . . . at least for the remainder of this day and night. So come now, ’tis time to feed Virginia. We shall continue this later.”

Ananias greeted them as they entered the cottage. “Ah, you’ve returned, ladies. Looks as if you’ve been bathing in the mud. I despise this damnable rain. Reminds me of home.” He took a breath, looked somberly at Emily. “Em . . . again . . . my deepest sympathy. Thomas was such a fine man and an incomparable friend. The Assistants will truly suffer his absence.” He shook his head. “I’m sure you’ve heard Hugh Tayler’s been elected to replace him.”

Emily and Elyoner glanced at one another with evident surprise.

“I know Thomas thought a lot of Hugh, as you do, but I must confess I’ve never been comfortable with the man. Something doesn’t feel right about him. Have you ever had that perception of someone?”

Emily tensed, struggled to retain her composure; Elyoner scowled.

Ananias saw both, offered an innocent look. “What did I say? I appear to have upset both of you somehow. Please forgive me if I have. I was only trying to—”

Elyoner shook her head. “Please continue, Ananias.”

“Very well. As we went into the election, there were quite strong feelings for and against Tayler; but the grand surprise was that Cuthbert White, John Brooke, and John Bright all voted
for
him, when all three were known to previously be
against
him. So Waters, Baylye, and I discussed it afterward and verily, could think of no reason why they would vote for Tayler and against Stilman. But I will tell you that all three looked ready to crawl out of their skins for fear of something; and Waters suggested that mayhap there was bribery or some sort of intimidation at play, either by Tayler or his cohorts: Stevens, Willes, and Sampson.” He shook his head. “He also said he and a few of his men know very disquieting things about Tayler; but he
couldn’t divulge the details, which frankly, makes me suspect there’s a very long thread to this tale, and all we’ve seen is the first inch of it.”