Dangerous Dreams: A Novel (88 page)

The color fled Emily’s face like dissipating fog. Waters must know: Walsingham, the conspiracy, even that Hugh’s the leader. So Johnny spoke the truth, and Waters has the sound judgment to remain silent until the right moment. And meanwhile I, Emily Colman, have sworn to marry the head conspirator. Dear Lord, save me. I know not what to do.

Elyoner, grabbed Emily’s wrist, led her to the fire. “Emily, you’re pale and tottery again. Please sit down.”

Emily nodded, sat shakily on a stump stool, then looked blankly at Ananias while her mind rambled in circles.

Ananias said, “Well, I have to say the whole affair rather upset me; for I’m told Tayler has outlandish ideas on how things should be done, such as less work for us and more for the Chesapeakes. ’Tis as if he’s completely blind to the history of English expeditions in Virginia. And at this point, being an astute husband, I can see my presence is unneeded, and you two have something important to discuss without my counsel.” He stood, lifted his coat and hat from the table, and walked toward the door. “So I shall bid you farewell and cast myself out into the rain. Oh, one other thing. There was an incident this morning. Seems that someone caught a Savage—a Chesapeake man—stealing something from his house. We’re to have a meeting momentarily to decide how to deal with the situation, and plainly, our decision could have vast implications. Also, ’twill be Tayler’s first meeting and an opportunity to gauge him and his judgment directly.” A resigned look appeared on his face as if he’d suddenly reached a momentous conclusion. “But truthfully, we do owe the man a fair chance to show his capabilities and intellect, or lack thereof, without prejudging him. So, with that great observation, I bid you adieu.” He bowed, put on his coat and hat, and walked out the door.

Emily looked despondently at Elyoner. “I must leave, as well, Ellie.”

“Em, I think you should sleep here tonight and reconsider moving in with us. Ananias and I have discussed it, and he’s quite comfortable with the idea.”

Emily shook her head. “I cannot, Ellie.”

Elyoner’s look hardened. “You challenge my patience, little sister, and I remain direly concerned about you. Please be wise in your decisions; and, Em, please, please, forget your promise to your father. He himself would release you from it if he were here and knew the truth. Forsooth, he’d no doubt be the first to call for prosecuting and punishing the filthy swine.”

Emily battled rising tears as she hugged Elyoner. “Thank you, dear Ellie. See you on the morrow.” She turned, flung her cape over her shoulders, started for the door, then abruptly stopped, looked back at Elyoner. “Oh, I nearly forgot. Ellie, because of the experience of caring for my baby brother, I think you should no longer leave Virginia alone as you’re accustomed to doing. She’s old enough to . . . to get herself into trouble if she isn’t watched. So I think you or I or Ananias, or someone else you trust, like Emme, should always be with her. ’Tis very important, and I know of which I speak.”

“Well, I hadn’t thought about it, but I suppose you’re right. Still, we’re all so busy . . . I don’t how we’d find time to watch a sleeping child . . . even my precious Virginia.”

Emily didn’t want to answer the knock on her door. Nor did she want to tell whoever it was to enter. So she held her silence, hoped they’d go away. They knocked again, then again. Still she held her silence, rubbed the tears from her eyes, looked back into the fire, and wondered who it could be at such a late hour. Another knock. She stood, walked to the door.

“Who is it?”

“ ’Tis Hugh, Emily. I must speak with you.”

Emily bristled, remained silent.

“Emily, may I please speak with you?”

“Go away, Hugh. I’ve nothing to say to you.”

He spoke with a soft, contrite tone. “Emily, I beseech you, please hear me for a brief moment.”

No response.

“Please, Emily.”

No response.

His voice was a near whisper. “Emily . . . I am deeply saddened by your father’s passing. And I know this is a terribly difficult time for you. I do not wish to add to your sorrow. Please believe me.”

“I believe nothing you say, Hugh Tayler.”

“You’ve every right to feel that way, and what I did grieves my soul. I’m truly ashamed, and I know I’ve stolen what you valued most in life. And in so doing, I’ve cast you into a different world: a hopelessly unforgiving world that will wrongfully condemn you, hold what happened between us against you, and forever deny you the decent life you would otherwise have enjoyed and truly deserve. ’Tis my doing, and I deeply regret it.”

Emily closed her eyes, bowed her head. ’Tis true, and I’m now but a whore.

“And my transgression places upon me the obligation to care for you, an obligation I gladly accept and will faithfully execute. There’s truly no other way for you, Emily.” He paused for a moment. “And I am certain you will learn to love me. Also, it should be of no small consequence to you that my family is wealthy, and you will share that wealth and want for nothing.”

Emily sat on her stump, pressed her face to her hands; she wanted to cry but couldn’t.

“Emily, I felt your pleasure when we made love, and—”

“Fie, Hugh Tayler! We did
not
make love. You raped me.”

“Nay, Emily. It may have begun that way, but I felt your passions rise, felt your climax with all the ecstasy of my own. So I
know
you can love me.”

Emily seethed with anger, frustration, then guilt as his words seeped into her mind. I
did
feel pleasure. Didn’t want to, but I did; and so I
am
a whore, a slut, a sinner, condemned to hell. So why then, though I hate him, should I not marry the man who fathered my child, so it will have a name, a father . . . and at the same time rescue myself from the shame of being shunned by respectable men because I’m not a virgin? She thought of her father, her mother, Isna, Elyoner. I’ve failed you all; but from now forward, what choice have I if my baby and I are to have a life?

“So, Emily, please marry me now, as soon as we can arrange it with the governor. ’Tis truly best for both of us, and you will not regret it.”

She hesitated then started to speak, held her words. No escape. My tragedy is inescapable. She sighed, whispered slowly, quietly, “I shall marry you, Hugh . . . but I shall
never
love you; rather, I shall hate you to the end of my days for what you’ve done.” And you shall not know of your child until I can no longer hide its presence within me; and then I shall tell you ’tis from another, that ’twas conceived after the rape, and after our marriage.

“I love you, Emily. And despite what you think, I shall always love you, and I shall be a perfect husband to you.”

Silence.

“Emily, will you please open the door and let me see you? I desperately need to hold you in my arms. Please, since we are now to be married.”

She jerked the door open, glared at him with venomous eyes.

“May I kiss my bride to be?”

“If you must.”

He leaned forward, laid his hands gently on her shoulders; kissed her softly on her cheek, her neck, then her lips; eased his tongue inside her mouth, found hers, teased it gently then firmly. He lowered his hands to her waist then suddenly shrank back, looked into her eyes, and slowly shook his head. “Emily, you arouse my passions and fuel the fires of my heart. I must lie with you again . . . soon . . . even now, this very night. And I ask you, what would be the wrong of it? Our marriage is consummated. Let us begin our life together, here, now.” He caressed her sides, started to draw her close.

Emily stiffened; her eyes filled with panic. “No, Hugh, not here, not now.” But the marriage
is
consummated, and I
am
pregnant with his child. So the marriage
is
but a formality. And is a wife not bound to do her husband’s will even as she loathes doing so? And am I not already condemned? Her mind flailed in a sea of guilt like someone who can’t swim trying to float in deep water. She looked at him with a resolute but not unkind look. “Please, Hugh, not yet. My father’s death still weighs heavy on my mind. I need more time. This is all too fast.”

He sighed, thought for a moment. “I understand, but, Emily, prithee remember the promise I made to you that day in the forest. Regrettably, it
must remain in place.” He looked sternly into her eyes. “I know you understand and will do what is necessary to protect that beautiful child.”

Scum! I know you’ll do as you say, but perchance I can delay this. “Hugh, I cannot yet do as you wish. Besides my grief, ’tis my time of the month. Truly, I am ill, and . . . and I’m”—she made her herself blush, look pained, anxious, embarrassed to be speaking of such things—“ certain you understand my hesitance?”

His face paled; he fidgeted, swallowed twice. “Yes, I understand.” He nodded repeatedly. “We shall wait, and meanwhile I shall visit Governor Baylye and inform him of our intention to marry with all haste.” He leaned forward, kissed her sealed lips, bowed, said, “Be well, Emily, my love,” and departed.

Emily closed the door, walked to her stump, sat; she stared dry-eyed into the fire, saw Isna’s face, his longing, sorrowful look. Isna, my love, I love you, I love you, I love you. How I wrong you. How can I betray you so? Please forgive me.

Baylye said, “Come in, Master Tayler.” He pointed at a stump then sat on another beside it.

Tayler sat, glanced around the room, looked anxiously at Baylye. “Well, Governor?”

Baylye pursed his lips, stared at Tayler for a moment. “Master Tayler, I’m afraid I’ve disappointing news for you. I’ve received information that prohibits my marrying you to anyone.”

Tayler stood, glared at Baylye. “Devil take you, Baylye. What in hell do you mean? You can’t do that! And pray tell, who speaks against me, and why are they not here to speak their lies to my face?”

“They
are
here, Master Tayler.” He glanced at the door. “Gentlemen, please come in.”

Lieutenant Waters and his three sergeants entered the cottage, stood in a half circle facing Tayler and Baylye.

Baylye said, “Please inform Master Tayler of the reasons.”

Waters nodded at Baylye then Myllet, who studied Tayler with a loathsome look as he began to speak. “Master Tayler, you well know what I’ve spoken against you, but I shall repeat it. After the shipwreck, you forcefully pulled Robert Wilkinson from the board to which he clung, so you could save yourself, and you then watched him drown. ’Twas no less than murder, Master Tayler, and I witnessed it as I swam toward that same board—a board large enough for all three of us to have safely survived the night. I suspect you would have tried to drown me, as well, were I not a soldier and armed. And mark me well, had more eyes than my own seen your crime, you’d have been long since hung for what you did.”

Tayler leered at him. “That’s a lie, Myllet. I did no such thing. You simply want to ruin me. ’Tis your word against mine and nothing to do with marriage.” He looked at Baylye. “What else have you,
Governor
?”

Baylye said, “Forget not, Sir, that ’tis against the law for me to knowingly marry someone of low character; and albeit ’tis his word against yours, Sergeant Myllet’s accusation raises serious doubt about your character.” He nodded at Gibbes while Tayler stewed, held his silence.

Gibbes said, “Master Tayler, as you are aware, I know most of the despicable things you’ve done in your shameful life, so you shouldn’t be surprised that I know you abandoned a wife and two children in England.”

Tayler’s eyes and nostrils flared; his breath quickened as tiny beads of sweat formed on his forehead. “Damn you, Gibbes. I’ve no wife or children, and you’re naught but a lying scoundrel who wants to destroy me and has made a crusade of attempting to do so.”

“I wish not to destroy you, Master Tayler, for you’re doing that quite well on your own. I seek only justice.”

Tayler quickly faced Baylye. “Again, ’tis my word against his, so his testimony is without merit. Is this the best you can do, Baylye?”

“We’ve not finished.”

Waters said, “In addition to Sergeant Gibbes, Sergeants Smith and Myllet, and I myself, know of the family you’ve abandoned in England, also that you abandoned them a considerable time before we sailed for Virginia and successfully eluded the authorities who sought to hold you responsible before we sailed.”