Dangerous Embrace (Embrace #1) (25 page)

“Stop it. I want to make love to you when we can both enjoy it. I shouldn’t have pushed you.”

Sarah covered her face with her hands. “God, I am so sorry I keep doing this to you.”

Mark sighed and brushed his lips against her forehead. “Maybe I need a different approach.”

She gave him a sad smile. “I like your approach just the way it is.”

“Are you okay?” His buzz had melted and from the sound of Sarah’s voice, so had hers. “Do you know what triggered it?”

She shook her head. “I don’t know...I was really enjoying it...”

He stared at her for a moment and thought about everything she’d told him the day before. Any woman who’d been raped was bound to have some issues. He needed to know what he could do to help her overcome those issues.

“Maybe it wasn’t a physical trigger.”

“What do you mean?”

“Maybe it’s psychological?” He twisted a few strands of her hair between his fingers. “What were you thinking about?”

Her cheeks turned bright pink. “What do you think I was thinking about?”

“Maybe it’s a trust issue, subconsciously. Maybe in your heart of hearts you’re not comfortable being intimate with me.”

Mark had to figure out a way to help her come to grips with this or they would both go crazy. He moved up and sat cross-legged on the bed so he could give her some space.

“Let’s just talk this out.”

“Okay,” she said, reaching for her discarded shirt.

“Are you comfortable talking about this?”

She nodded. “Yeah.”

“Are you having trouble being intimate with me because you’re unwilling to give up some of yourself to me?” He hesitated, trying to find a way to explain what he meant. “Maybe you’re not comfortable enough with me to...”

“I want to do this. I don’t feel pressured, if that’s what your—”

“No.” He reached for her hand, wanting to touch her. For the first time since he’d known her, he couldn’t read her feelings by her expression. “Do you remember our conversation about those women who were raped? You told me that having a man force himself on you was a powerless feeling and that loss of control was something a woman never got over.”

“And that’s true, I’m surprised you remember all that.”

“I couldn’t forget it. Being that vulnerable has to be utterly frightening. I can’t imagine it.” He closed his eyes to push back the instant anger he felt at the thought of someone doing that to her, especially that Neanderthal, Kevin Lewis. The tequila in his stomach burned like fire.

“But, Mark, I don’t feel like that with you at all.”

He pulled her hand to his mouth and kissed it. “Good, I’m glad.” He smiled and said, “I think between your past and this attack, the notes, the phone calls, this monster trying to get to you, breaking into your house—you’ve had me in your face, hovering and...” He took a deep, steadying breath. “Because of all that, you have lost some of the control you have on your life. Maybe this is your subconscious way of taking that control back.”

He watched her face as she thought about everything he said. She didn’t speak. She just looked into his eyes for a long time. Every emotion seemed to flash across her face in that lifetime of a moment.

“What are you thinking?” he whispered.

She shrugged and looked away.

“Did I get that completely wrong? Talk to me please...”

She shook her head and fisted her hand. “I don’t know, but if you’re right, I don’t know how to fix it.”

“I don’t know either, but I’ll help you. Maybe it just takes time.” He waited for a moment. “Tell me what you’re afraid of. What’s got you worried?”

“Do you believe that I trust you?” she asked.

“I do, Sarah, but do you believe me?”

Her eyebrows drew together. “I’m sorry. I just feel like this is going to get old to you. How many times can we come so close just for me to chicken out? It’s frustrating for me...I can’t imagine what it’s like for you.”

“Do you think I’m only here for sex?”

“Of course not...,” she said, droopy-eyed.

“Okay, then stop worrying about me leaving.”

She nodded and whispered, “Okay.”

Mark watched her for a few minutes, and then reached out and pulled her to him. “Let’s go to sleep, we can talk about this again when we’re both sober.”

When Mark woke up, his thoughts went directly to the note he found in Sarah’s mailbox. With a full mug of coffee in his hand, he pulled out his cell phone and dialed Brian’s number.

“Hey, Brian, anything yet?”

“No, man. It’s been less than twelve hours. I told you I’d let you know.”

“Okay, you’re right.”

“No wonder she’s so tense, you’re feeding it to her like candy. Take a break and let us do our job.”

“Yep, okay. I get it.” Mark shut his eyes and tried to relax. “You’re right. Call me when you get something.”

Mark closed his phone, and at the same time, Devon entered the kitchen, shirtless and looking for coffee.

“Morning. Right on—there’s coffee already, thanks, dude.”

“How’s the air mattress?” Mark asked.

Devon looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “It’s better than some other places I’ve slept.” He sat down at the kitchen table across from Mark with his cup of coffee. “I’m actually glad I got up before her, I need to tell you something.”

“What?”

“She told me she clued you in on Kevin Lewis. I didn’t want to tell her, but he’s been looking for her again.”

“Again?” Mark sat up and gave Devon his complete attention. “You mean this isn’t the first time?”

“Not even close to the first time. He calls me, leaves messages—fucking acting like nothing ever happened, like we’re old buddies or something,” Devon said, disgusted.

Mark considered him for a moment. “When was the last time you actually talked to him?”

“A couple of years ago, he showed up in San Diego. I told him Sarah and I had a falling out and hadn’t been in touch in years, but that the last I’d heard she was somewhere in Tennessee. I tried to throw him off the California trail.”

“Why Tennessee?”

“We lived in Nashville before moving to Flagstaff. He’d heard enough about Charlie to believe it.”

“Charlie? Wait, the step-dad who gave her the Colt 45?”

“Oh yeah.” Devon grinned. “You’ve seen the Colt?”

“Yeah, it’s a nice piece. But I don’t get it, if Kevin is really looking for Sarah, why hasn’t he found her? All it would take is an internet search?”

“Hah, yeah.” Devon nodded. “But this asshole is completely computer illiterate. He’s a little bit of a conspiracy theorist. Thinks the government has too much control, he won’t touch a computer.” Devon chuckled. “Besides, she’s lost in the sea of a common name. Try searching. You’ll get like a hundred thousand results for Sarah Jennings, and she’s super careful about how she uses her name on the internet. She doesn’t use the social networking sites or anything like that.” He brushed a dismissive hand at Mark. “Anyway, that dickhead is still looking for Sarah Lange, which is almost as common,” Devon said.

“I did a little digging yesterday. Is he the same Kevin Lewis from Lewis and Son’s Wilderness Adventure Center in Flagstaff?”

“One in the same, and they are no joke,” Devon said, looking at Mark severely.

“I can’t believe that guy was beating on her. He’s a freaking monster—twice her size.”

“I’m glad you know what you’re dealing with just in case he comes knockin’. Speaking of...what’s keeping you here? She doesn’t need any more heartache in her life.”

“You don’t need to doubt my intentions, I won’t hurt her,” Mark said, looking Devon directly in the eyes when he said it.

“The woman can be a pain in the ass. You should know that going in.”

Mark smiled in spite of himself. “Yeah, I’ve figured that out.”

~

When Sarah came out of her bedroom showered and dressed, she glanced down at Devon’s overnight bag already sitting near the front door. “You don’t waste any time do you?” she muttered under her breath.

“I’ll come back in a couple of months and stay longer.” He looked down at his phone in irritation. “I have Lily blowing up my cell, wanting me there yesterday.”

“Tell her to wait her turn,” she said, and his cell phone rang again.

“You can tell her yourself.” He laughed silently, teasing her as he held the open phone out to her.

She jumped back, wide-eyed, and shook her head violently. “No,” she mouthed. “Don’t you dare!”

Devon’s eyes glinted and he put the phone to his ear. “Mama? Hey...I know. I’m leaving this very second—all right!” He dropped his head and said, “See you tonight.”

After closing his phone, he glared up at Sarah. “You’re such a brat! If you’d call her once in a while...”

He grabbed his bag and towed it outside, still wearing a teasing smile.

“I will call her, but not today,” she said, stepping up to his car.

“So Lily...your mom?” Mark asked.

“Yeah, the one and only. Check it, dude. Call me if anything else happens. I can be here in a few hours.” He rattled off his cell phone number, and Mark entered it into his phone.

“What’s up with the SUV? What happened to the Carrera?” Sarah asked, examining the brand new SUV in her driveway.

“It’s at home in the garage. I needed a car that could hold my surfboards and my skis.”

“So you had to buy a brand new
Porsche
SUV? What’s wrong with Chevy or Ford?”

“That’s no fun, besides this is faster.”

Sarah tried to maintain a smile when she said goodbye to Devon. She wasn’t that good of an actress. She couldn’t push herself out of the dark mood. One night with him wasn’t enough. God, she missed him.

Devon hugged her. “Don’t cry, Baby Sis. I’ll be back in two months, okay?”

“Stay out of trouble.”

“Ha! You stay out of trouble. Don’t ever keep me in the dark about something like this again.”

After she nodded a promise to him, he reached a hand out to Mark. “I mean it, call me for anything. I want to stay updated on what’s happening here.”

“I’ll call,” Mark promised.

Devon gave Sarah one more quick hug before he climbed into his SUV. When his car turned off her street, she put both hands over her face, fighting tears. It was stupid to be this emotional. She couldn’t help herself. Watching him leave was like leaving home. He’d been her anchor and her rock for so long, and she mourned his absence now more than ever. She’d never admit aloud that she needed him there, but she couldn’t deny it to herself.

When Mark came up behind her, she turned and rested her face against his chest.

“I’m sorry he had to leave.”

“Me too,” she said.

“Are you okay?”

She looked up into his eyes, and the fire sparking between them caught her off guard. When Mark tucked a stray hair behind her ear, she lifted up and kissed him. Her stomach fluttered as his hand cupped her neck, pulling her closer. When the kiss turned more passionate, she pulled back and looked into his eyes again.

He was so beautiful. Sarah wanted him and hated herself for ignoring her feelings and for fighting the attraction that pulled her toward him.

Devon had no idea how much his talk had helped her. Her big brother had saved her again, only this time instead of rescuing her from her bad choices, he kept her from making another one. And pushing Mark away would’ve been a huge mistake. She withdrew slowly and looked down into his chest, not sure what to say.

“Sorry,” he whispered.

“Don’t be, I like kissing you,” she said. “But we need to talk about this before it goes any further.” When she looked back up, she met his tender expression. “Now that we’re sober.”

“Let’s go talk,” he said, moving down her arm to her take her hand.

Sarah followed him into the house and sat sideways on her sofa, facing him. “I’m not sure...I don’t know.” She stopped for a moment, searching for the right words.

“It’s okay, I understand.” He pulled his hand away. “I’m here to keep you safe, not to—”

“Wait,” she said, and her face heated. “Stop talking—let me finish.” She pulled his hand back and held it with both of hers. “I haven’t had a normal emotion in weeks. I’ve been on a roller coaster, and I’m not sure if what I’m feeling is a result of the ride or if it’s real—but it seems real.” She looked at him cautiously. “Do you understand?”

“I understand, it’s been a hard couple of weeks for you and it’s natural to be confused.” He still didn’t make eye contact with her.

“The last few weeks haven’t been hard. The circumstances that threw us together suck, but I enjoy being with you, and I don’t want to be away from you, that’s something I’m sure of.”

Mark’s posture finally relaxed, and he reached over and pulled her into a gentle kiss. “I don’t like being away from you, either,” he said through their kiss. “I don’t want you out of my sight, but not only because I want to keep you safe. Yesterday, when I was gone...”