I felt his mouth on me, the heat, and wetness of his lips devouring me as his hands roamed my body. I moaned, loving the way his hands felt on me. “God, Mac. You taste like fucking heaven.” His deep growl turned me on, building arousal between my thighs. His scent hit me, a combination of whiskey and body wash.
I inhaled deeply, loving the way it lingered in the air. “You smell so good,” I said as his hands continued roaming up and down the lengths of my arm. They were lifted above my head and pressed firmly against the wall. He was taking his time with me even though I could tell he was ready to take all of me.
“How do you want it?” he asked, making me blush in response. “Tell me what you like…” he demanded, nuzzling his nose alongside my jawline.
“Hard. Rough. Hot.” I felt his body tremble against mine. He bit my neck and groaned.
“Jesus Christ, Mac. You’re every man’s version of a perfect fantasy.”
“What do you want to do with me?” I asked, hoping whatever it was would happen now.
He
growled
. I had felt the vibrations against my skin before he had even responded. “I want to sink so fucking deep inside you, Mac, you’ll feel my cock for days.” I shivered.
“Alex…” I whimpered as he continued working my neck. He hummed in response. “Fuck me. I’ll beg, but—” I didn’t get a chance to finish my plea. He gripped the cheeks of my ass and stood up with my legs wrapped tightly around him.
“Are you sure, Mac? I need you to be sure.”
“Yes, yes. God, yes,” I nearly screamed. He slammed my back against the wall, his hips securing us together as he brought my arms up over my head and latched onto my wrists.
“Once I start, I won’t be able to stop,” he growled again. I could hear the desperation in his tone and I loved it. I didn’t want him to stop. I was soaking wet just thinking about how he’d feel inside me.
I JOLTED AWAKE
, sitting up in bed as I panted. My body was covered in night sweats, and I could feel my panties wet in between my legs. I turned to see William sleeping on his side peacefully.
Oh god…
I closed my eyes, trying to regulate my breathing. I pulled the covers off and slipped out of bed. I tiptoed to the kitchen to grab a glass of water.
Flashes of Alex were coming to the surface…memories of our night. Memories of what I had done.
The guilt was eating me up inside.
I gulped the water down in a matter of seconds, finally calming down. After waking up with no memory, I hadn’t expected to remember anything from that night. I had shoved the whole thing in a secret, never-to-be-opened drawer in my head. But now memories of that night were surfacing and haunting me in my sleep.
I clenched my eyes shut tightly, hoping to push the memories away. I didn’t want to remember. Not anymore. I couldn’t.
But they fought back and resurfaced anyway. My body was responding to the visual, heat building up in between my legs as I thought about Alex and what we’d done—or what I had remembered.
His body was against mine, pressing his hard and thick erection against me. I could feel the smoothness of his skin, the warmth of his breath as he whispered against my ear and neck.
A chill ran down my spine as I thought about the dream—the memory of that night. Oh, god…it was turning me on. It was fucking hot, and now I wished I could do something about it.
I put the empty glass in the sink and walked quietly back to bed. There was no way I was waking William up. That’d be wrong,
so wrong
. I lay in bed with my hand on my lower stomach, my pussy throbbing and clenching with need. I tried pushing the thoughts of Alex away and to focus on my relationship with William. But it wasn’t happening. The dream was repeating over and over in my head. The way his hands felt. The way his lips felt pressed against mine. God, his lips were incredible. And then, just to torture myself some more, I thought about the kiss I actually did remember—the one he stole right before I left.
Had I not been engaged, I would’ve taken him up on every single offer he made. One-night stand or not, I would’ve been willing to make that into a multiple-night stand.
I crossed my legs, hoping to relieve the ache pulsing through me. God, I
needed
it.
Fuck it.
I roamed my hand down further underneath my panties and circled a finger over my clit. I tried to conceal my cries, but the ache was getting more and more intense. I palmed my pussy in hopes to relieve the pleasure building up. I bit my lip to hold back the moans, but I couldn’t control it. My body was taking over. And it was greedy.
William started moving in his sleep and I froze. I didn’t want to wake him up. I knew he had to be up early and if I woke him up for sex, I wasn’t sure how he’d react.
He rolled over toward me. My eyes widened as I sunk a finger inside, needing to release the painful ache I had built up. An arm flung over my chest as he pulled me in closer, his nose trailing over my neck and to my ear. “I know what those sounds are, Mackenzie,” he said in his deep, authoritative tone. I swallowed, blushing like I had just been caught doing something wrong. “Let me help you, darling.”
He lowered his arm and grabbed my hand, pulling it out from my panties. I was so embarrassed I’d been caught. I’d never touched myself in front of anyone before and it felt like being caught with my hand in the cookie jar.
“I didn’t mean to wake you…” I started, feeling guilty that I was disturbing his sleep.
“You should’ve woken me,” he said directly. “I’ll always take care of you, darling. Let me.” He leaned in closer, sinking two fingers inside of me, filling me up completely just like I needed.
“Mm…” I moaned, arching my back. “Yes, there…”
He assaulted my neck with his mouth, trailing kisses up and down my jaw and collarbone. He shifted his body weight and began moving down my chest. He sped up his pace, building up the tension faster and harder. Oh, god…I was going to come thinking of the dream I had with another man! This was so fucking wrong.
I couldn’t allow myself to feel guilty for long as he ripped an orgasm from me. My hands clenched the sheets as he rubbed the pad of his thumb over my clit, not letting my body relax for long.
“Wow…” I gasped. I was surprised he woke up, but I was even more surprised he’d wanted to join me in the first place.
It wasn’t that our sex life was dull, but he was picky about his sleep schedule. He didn’t generally interrupt it for anything.
He threw the covers off me and pulled me underneath him. He towered over me, ripping my shorts down my legs and him quickly discarding his. “Hang on, darling. You’re all worked up, and I’m going to make sure you go back to sleep satisfied.” He spread my legs open with his knee and pushed inside me. I was soaking wet with my arousal and as soon as I felt him, I was ready to come all over again. I wanted him to fuck me hard. I wanted it rough and emotionless. I wanted him to fuck all the memories away. As messed up as it sounded, I wanted him to punish me for what I had done.
“Do it fast and hard, William,” I pleaded.
He leaned back on his knees and pulled both of my legs up, widening them as far apart as he could. He leaned his body back over mine and did exactly as I had asked. I came again with a hard reminder that I was his and he was mine. This was how it was meant to be. He saved me, and I owed him everything.
I TEXTED STACI
as soon as I woke up. I couldn’t stop thinking about Alex and how bad I had messed up. I felt guilty, but another part of me felt intrigued.
Who was this guy?
How had he managed to affect me in such a short amount of time and why had I allowed him in?
I had another memory of…that night…it was starting to haunt me in my dreams!
I typed out, knowing she’d check her phone first thing once she woke up.
What the hell am I going to do?!
She ended up responding twenty minutes later. She was a graphic designer and worked from home, but we managed to stay in contact throughout the day if we needed to.
I’m over here still trying not to freak out at the whole situation… :/
I sighed and frantically moved my fingers to text her back.
That’s not helping!
Sorry! It’s just so…not you. I’m actually quite impressed. ;-)
I hate you.
No, you don’t. So…was he big?
I about spit my juice out of my mouth as I read her last text.
I’m heading to work now. BYE.
FRIDAY MORNINGS WERE
the best and the worst.
It meant it was my last day of work for the week, but also, the longest. Fridays were prep days for the following week, and we didn’t leave the office until it was completely finished. They were also for finalizing blog posts and articles, catching up on emails and making sure everything was set in place for the next week.
William was up and out of the apartment before my alarm even went off. I hardly heard him anymore. For a man who’d been single for quite some time before me, he was sure considerate while I continued to sleep. I especially loved that about him.
“Good morning, Miss Hewitt.” My assistant, Chelsea, looked up at me with bright, eager eyes. She was my intern—she was
me
just a year and a half ago. I was quite easy on her but made sure she learned just like I had to do.
I still worked for Laura, except now I was paid more and worked longer hours. When William and I started being noticed by the public, and articles and pictures of us surfaced in the NY Post, she immediately hired me on. I was offended at first, upset that money and popularity were bumping my career up, but I knew I had worked hard for it. I had gotten myself into this program on my own, so for that reason, I was proud and accepted anything she offered me. I didn’t want to be one of
those
girls—the ones who only got jobs or fame by their family name, or in my case, my fiancé’s name, but I wasn’t about to back away. Fashion was my life and I desperately needed the break.
Once I became her full-time assistant, I needed an intern assistant. I couldn’t manage everything on my own. I was still building my career, hoping to move up the fashion magazine industry even more. I hoped to assist in the fashion decisions and runway choices. Someday. I was sure of it.
“Morning, Chelsea,” I greeted back as she handed me my triple grande skinny vanilla latte. I was a coffee addict
and
not looking for help anytime soon.
“Your schedule is on your desk, and Mr. Lancaster left a message for you.” She handed me a folded up piece of paper. I smiled and grabbed it, thanking her as I walked into my office.
On top of working under Laura, I was also trying to learn and engage as much as I could. I stayed for all the meetings, all the clothing ops, and boring discussions. I was determined to have a successful career no matter what.
William told me I could quit once we got married. Actually, he’d told me to quit already, but I said hell no. It’s something we’re compromising on because I won’t give that part of my independence up. I’ve gone through too much and worked too hard to say the hell with it. Plus, I loved talking about fashion and being around clothes and shoes all day. It was something I was used to staring at a lot when I was a child. My mother and I would walk past stores, the ones with clothes hanging on too-skinny mannequins and I’d only dream of wearing something like that. She’d yank on my hand and tell me to stop fantasizing…
“Stop dreaming about something that’s too far out of your reach. You’ll only end up disappointed.”
To a point, she was right. But that only made me want to work harder.
William and I had dinner plans at Vivolo Restaurant for a meeting. He had them regularly, so I knew the routine. We’d dress up, drink wine, and have casual conversation. I went for support more than anything unless it was mutual friends of ours. However, more often than not, it was for business.
As I rummaged through my closet for something to wear, I landed on the dress I wore the night William proposed to me—it was a navy blue cocktail dress with a princess neckline and I matched it with silver heels. We were eating Prime 333 when he popped the question over dessert. It wasn’t overly flashy, but that’s not who he was. The restaurant was a blend of sexy and romantic. It was just him and me, enjoying natural conversation when he began his speech…
Darling…
Since you’ve walked into my life, or rather, slammed into my chest, my world has been rocked upside down.
I hadn’t felt this kind of happiness in years and now that I have it, I don’t ever want to let it go.
I remembered I was shaking; nerves and anxiety overcame me as he said his final words.
Mackenzie Lauren Hewitt…
He paused briefly to bend down on one knee and displayed a Tiffany & Co.’s blue box in his hand.
I love you. I want to spend the rest of our lives together.
His eyes remained locked on mine as he slowly opened the box and asked,
Would you do the honor of marrying me?
I was nearly in tears by the time he finished his beautiful words. Despite his high-profile career and popularity, William was a simple man. He was content and happy without making a huge fuss. So his speech blew me away because he wasn’t one to express himself like that. He told me he loved me and held me close, but he wasn’t overly emotional.
I screamed, shocked by his words, and said, “Yes, of course!”
I moved in shortly after. He said he wanted me close as we planned our wedding and future together. Although he wasn’t so much on the wedding planning wagon, he’d definitely been in on the building our lives together part.
“DARLING, ARE YOU
almost ready?” I heard him call from the living room as I stared at myself in the mirror, remembering that night so vividly.
“Yes, be just another minute!” I called back, looping my earrings through. I grabbed my necklace next and began pulling it around my neck when I felt William’s hands.
“Let me.” I smiled at him in the mirror as he grabbed the chain out of my fingers. I brushed my hair out of his way as he continued, “This looks gorgeous on you.”
“I was hoping you’d like it.” I watched him smirk in the mirror.
“I love it. It’s gorgeous…” He clamped the chain and let it fall down my neck. “Just like you.” He kissed me sweetly on the cheek.
I smiled at the man behind me. He really was special. So humble, so genuine. I hoped life with him would always come this natural.
“Ready, love?” His eyes did a quick glance down my dress. “I love this dress on you.”
William bought both the necklace and dress for me. “Thank you. You have beautiful taste.” I turned around and wrapped my arms around him.
“Or you just make it beautiful.” He kissed the top of my nose and began to walk away as he continued, “We’re going to be late if we don’t leave in two minutes,” he reminded me.
I brought my arms down and scanned the room. “I’ll just put my shoes on and then I’m ready. Could you grab my clutch for me?” I asked, sitting on the bed.
He brought it to me and caught me off guard as he cupped my jaw. “I mean it, Mac. You’re gorgeous. Way too gorgeous for a man like me.”
I shoved my feet into the shoes and grabbed the clutch out of his hand. I didn’t know what to say so I didn’t say anything at all. I let him take my hand and help me stand, looking into the depths of his eyes. He was a strong man, but something deep inside was hurting. I didn’t know much about his childhood, but he wasn’t exactly forthcoming about it. I never pressured him and he barely asked about mine. It was just one of those subjects neither of us was willing to discuss, and I was okay with that. I didn’t need to know all those details. As long as I knew who he was now, that worked just fine for me.
WE ARRIVED AT
Vivolo at seven forty-five. William was always early and I loved him for it. I tried my best to not take too long getting ready, but I appreciated a man who took being on time seriously.
He escorted me in, placing his hand gently on the small of my back. We were let right in and told that our guest hadn’t arrived yet. William nodded his thanks. He then led me in, pulling my chair out for me once we got to our table.
The server waited for William to sit down across from me before telling us the night’s food and wine specials. William ordered us a bottle and the waiter gently placed our menus in front of us.
“I’ll be right back with your wine, sir.”
William thanked him and kept his eyes on the menu.
“Darling?” I asked, getting his attention.
“Yes?” he answered, keeping his head low.
“Can you please remind me who we’re meeting with tonight?” I asked casually, hoping he wouldn’t get upset for not remembering.
“My son, remember? He just arrived a few days ago from Europe.”
I swallowed. That’s right. I
had
forgotten.
“Oh, right.” I smiled, staring at my menu firmly. I wasn’t at all prepared. Mainly because his son was my age and that was just a bit too weird, but I knew I’d have to meet him eventually. I knew he’d been studying overseas the past few years and had just returned back home. I remembered William mentioning it, but it’d been weeks ago and I’d completely forgot about it. I hadn’t put much thought into it and now I was going to have to give my best first impression to someone who probably wanted nothing to do with me.
I knew how it looked. Daddy engaged to some unknown girl half his age…he was probably thinking the same thing all the tabloids were saying—I was a gold-digging whore only after his money. They often forgot to mention I had a successful career and was involved in my own charitable work.
Once I turned eighteen and moved to the city, I went back to school and got my GED. I didn’t attend enough days in any high school to merit my diploma, but I had been determined to finish. I even got my associates in fashion design and technology. I took myself from nothing and carved a path for a better lifestyle, but that didn’t sell magazines. Labeling me as a partying-hussy who managed to land Manhattan’s most eligible bachelor made me a slut in their eyes.
“Don’t be nervous, darling. Alexander will adore you, I’m sure.” He looked up from his menu and flashed me a genuine smile. “But he’s late…as always.” I heard the disapproving tone in his voice and tried to hide my smile.
“Actually, I’m right on time.” I heard a deep voice with a hint of annoyance behind me. A voice I’ve heard before.
No, no, no. It couldn’t be.
My heart began racing, my skin heated, and my body was suddenly glued to my chair unwilling to turn around and come face to face with
him.
Alex.
My back was toward him, so he hadn’t seen my face yet. William stood to greet him, shaking his hand, and telling him how good it was to see him again. From what I knew, they didn’t have the best relationship, but William had mentioned a while ago how he’d like to try and repair their relationship once he arrived back home.
I was hyperventilating. My breathing was shallow, and I felt dizzy.
Get it together, Mac. Otherwise, you’ll completely give yourself away
, I reminded myself.
I took one deep breath, and with whatever strength I happened to muster up, I pushed my chair back and stood up.
“Alexander, I’d like you to meet my fiancée, Mackenzie Hewitt.” I felt William’s arm on me and I turned around, meeting Alex’s deep, intense eyes.
Act normal
…
act normal,
I mentally chanted just before seeing the one man I hoped to never have to see again.
I plastered on a big, fake smile and pushed my hand out. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Alexander. William has told me many great things about you.”
The corner of his lips curled up in pure amusement. His eyes rested on mine as he took my hand in his, wrapping it delicately around mine. “The pleasure is all mine, Mackenzie.”
The moment our hands touched, electricity shot through me. My heart raced faster, and I was sure my eyes had dilated. This could not be happening…
He dipped his head and placed a gentle kiss on my hand, squeezing it just before bringing his face back up to mine. His eyes burned into me with a silent secret we both knew. But neither of us would say anything.
“Please, sit,” William insisted, taking a step back toward his chair. Alex sat next to him and as William pulled my chair out for me once again, I could feel Alex’s eyes on me. I pulled my chair in and kept my head down, trying to avoid any and all eye contact. My body was trembling, but I was attempting to get a hold of myself. I couldn’t make a scene.
“How was your trip, son?” William asked as he took a seat across from me, patting him gently on the shoulder.
I grabbed my menu again, gluing my eyes to it. I’d let them have their chat and pretend I didn’t exist.
Yes, good plan.
“It was great. But…I’m
really
glad to be home.” I heard a hint of amusement, his voice filled with condescending torture. Oh, god.
“Good to hear.”
“Took a few days to get over the jet lag, but the hotel has been very…
accommodating
while I waited for my belongings to ship over.”
“Great news. It’s good to have you home on the same continent.” William’s voice was genuine, but I hadn’t ever asked much about their relationship. Mainly because he didn’t talk about it. William was a very private person. He grew up wealthy and had learned at a young age to keep things in because he never knew whom he could trust. Money gave you labels—which I hated—but William was used to it. I was still getting to use to it, not sure I’d ever get used to it, but when you have money—or marry into money—people tend to have expectations. The less the public knew, the better.
“Yeah, it feels nice to be back home again,” Alex stated. My throat suddenly went dry, so I reached for my glass of water since the server hadn’t arrived with our wine yet. “I’ve been looking forward to moving back.”
“Your room will always be yours, son,” I heard William say. At that precise moment, the water in my mouth spewed out in front of me as I choked on Alex and William’s exchange.
“You all right, sweetheart?” William reached across to tenderly grasp my hand.
I brought my other hand up and patted against my chest a couple times before saying, “Yes, I’m fine. Just went down the wrong way.”
Alex’s eyes locked on mine, a wicked grin playing on his delicious lips.
Shit, no.
No looking at his lips.
Oh my god…
Realization just sunk in…Alex was my future stepson! I felt like vomiting. I was going to be sick.
“I’m going to use the ladies room. I’ll be right back,” I told William, placing my napkin on top of my menu. “Order me the jumbo shrimp in vodka sauce, darling. Extra sauce, please.”
He gave a curt nod before standing up with me, Alex following his lead. “I’ll just be a moment.” I leaned in and kissed William’s cheek before rounding the table and heading for the nearest restroom.
I rubbed a hand down my dress, my palms sweating profusely. I found the ladies room and locked myself inside.
I needed to get my nerves under control…
After using the bathroom, and patting myself down with fresh towels, I finally felt ready to head back. I gave myself a lame pep talk, deciding to pretend nothing ever happened between Alex and me. It never happened; therefore, there was nothing to be nervous about.
Satisfied, I unlocked the door and pulled it open, walking into the dim hallway back toward the dining room. I took a left before slamming into something solid—into a familiar wall that smelled an awful lot like sweet, forbidden yumminess.
Whiskey and mint.
“Alex…” I said just above a whisper. My hands were pressed against his chest as I spoke into his throat.
“Mac…what an interesting turn of events.” I looked up and he was smirking. Actually smirking! As if my humiliation was amusing him.
“What are you doing?” I backed up, needing space between us. He smelled too good.
“I was checking up on you. You’ve been gone a while so I told my dad I needed to use the restroom and that I’d keep an eye out for you.”
“I’m fine…” I breathed. “I just needed a moment.” I adjusted myself, smoothing my hands down my dress once again.
My chest was rising and falling, matching my racing heartbeat. “You don’t look fine.”
“I’m just really surprised, is all…I had no idea.” I concentrated on my breathing, counting backward from ten.