I washed my hands off and grabbed my phone to call Staci.
“What’s up, girlfriend?” she answered cheerfully, but I knew she’d be freaking out in about two seconds.
“I hate my life,” I said flatly. “I’m being punished. Or something. Karma, perhaps.”
“Mac…slow down. What’s going on?”
“Alex!” I scream-whispered. “Alex-fucking-Lancaster!”
“Wait, who’s Alex Lancaster?”
I breathed out, needing to slow my mind down so I could make some sense. “William’s son…who just so happens to be…”
“Oh my god!” she screamed as it finally clicked in her head. “One-night stand Alex is Alexander Lancaster?”
I sighed. “Yes…one in the same. And I had to come face-to-face with him tonight at dinner.”
“Holy shit,” she breathed out. “What did you do?”
“What could I do? I mentally freaked out! I pretended I didn’t know him and sat across from him. To make matters worse, he totally knew he was making me uncomfortable. I left for the bathroom and he followed me!”
“Jesus…”
“Stace, what am I going to do? He’s moving in! Apparently, William wants him to move back in until he finds a job and is more stable. Do you know how awkward this is going to be?”
“He has to have his own money to move into his own apartment, right?” she asked the same question I’d been thinking the entire ride home.
“Well, you’d think, but I also believe it’s William’s way of re-connecting with him or whatever. I don’t know. William is barely home enough for
us
to spend time together, so I’m really not sure what he’s thinking.”
“Well, that could be it,” she agreed. “I mean, you’ve been with him for almost two years, and you’re just
now
meeting his son? I guess they had some kind of rough patch or something. Before he left for school, he was always in the papers for getting into trouble. I bet you William sent him overseas on purpose. And now he’s trying to see if he can trust him.”
“Damn, I hadn’t thought of that. William rarely talks about it. Anytime I bring it up, he manages to brush it off or be completely vague.”
“Well, now would be a
great
time to ask!”
“I know, I know!” I started pacing the bathroom, thinking over everything she’d just said. It made a lot of sense now that we were talking it out. “That isn’t the only problem,” I added.
“Okay, what?”
“I keep having these flashbacks and short glimpses of him…of
us
…it’s…” I paused, trying to collect my thoughts.
“Confusing?” she filled it for me.
I sighed, exhaling deeply before answering, “Yes. Very. I feel these things inside and I just don’t understand how, or why, and what I’m supposed to do with them. I never intended for anything like that to happen, yet when I get these flashbacks, it’s like I didn’t feel guilty at all. Like…it was right.”
“Mac, listen to me. I’ve known you a while now, okay? I know you like everything in its perfect little place and your schedule all nicely written out. I even know you organize your underwear drawer by color,” she said with a laugh. “I also know your lack of experience with men. So now, you just have to decide…what are you going to do about it? You can tell William and see if he gives you a second chance, or you can pretend it didn’t happen and ignore everything you feel about that night.”
“But how can it be that simple? I don’t think Alex is going to make it that simple. You should’ve seen the way he looked at me all night.”
“I bet it was hot.” She laughed lightly and I scowled. “But in all seriousness, and even though this will sound cliché, do what you feel is right in your heart. If William is your future, then focus on that.”
“That’s kind of hard to do when your one-night stand comes to live with you, Stace!” I whispered sternly. “I’m just going to have to avoid him as much as I can…it’s the only way. Maybe I’ll join a book club or do yoga on the weekends.”
“You don’t know how to do yoga,” she said flatly.
“Well, I’ll learn,” I spat back. “Or just stay at work really, really late.”
“Well, good luck with that,” she cracked with amusement in her tone. “Call me tomorrow,” she said just before we said our goodbyes and hung up.
Staci was my best friend, but we had entirely different lifestyles. We met when Laura hired her for a temporary design job at the magazine, and we ended up having lunch together almost every day. Once she was done, we continued hanging outside of work and she became my first real friend in years. After awhile, I began to trust and confided in my past. She’d been the only person who knew before I met William—who still only knew some parts.
New York was a fresh start for me, but I quickly learned about cliques and what popularity can do to you. She wasn’t from an upper class upbringing, which was the thing I loved most about her. Most of the women I met through William were polished, snooty-bitches, and they were as fake as their nose jobs. Being friends with Staci allowed me to be me, not the woman engaged to business-extraordinaire, William Lancaster. I didn’t have to plaster on fake smiles during a girl’s charity luncheon or pretend to care about their stupid ‘problems’ that were barely problems at all. I was thankful she was a constant in my life—something I never had before.
But this…this was something I was going to have to figure out on my own somehow. I was going to have to do everything in my power to avoid Alex. I couldn’t let him get me alone…
A few days
after
officially
meeting Alexander Lancaster—
Alex
—I consumed myself with work, so much so, I was able to almost forget about him moving in…
almost
.
By Thursday, boxes of his things started to arrive. He was moving back into his old bedroom, which was across the apartment.
Thank god
. There was enough space in between to feel like I could easily avoid him—which I’d planned to do. I’d leave for work early in the morning before he was even awake probably and then return at night after dinner. I’d then hide away in my bedroom until I passed out.
Yes, that was my plan.
However, the weekend was coming and William was leaving town the next day.
“That’s everything, ma’am,” one of the mover’s said to me, directing my attention away from my thoughts. William wasn’t home from work yet, so he asked me to pay them before they left.
I grabbed the checkbook from my purse and wrote out the amount plus a generous tip. As I ripped it out, I said, “Here you are. Thanks so much for everything.” I was pleasant. It surely wasn’t his fault my fiancé thought this was a grand idea.
He glanced down at the check and smiled wide, shock playing on his lips. “Oh, thank you, ma’am.” He tipped his head at me. “Y’all have a great night now.” I could hear the southern accent in his voice, making me smile at the thought of a southern gentleman living all the way up in New York City.
“Thanks. You as well.” I led them out of the apartment and cringed. Now it was just Alex and me. William wasn’t home yet and I was supposed to ‘make him feel at home again.’
That was not going to happen.
I walked to the kitchen, needing to get dinner ready. William had called and asked me to make a special dinner for the three of us since he’d be flying out early the next morning. I agreed, needing to do anything to distract myself until he arrived home anyway.
I placed the pan of lemon chicken into the oven just as I heard footsteps coming this way. I tried to act unaffected, bored even, but once Alex rounded the door, all my brain cells bailed.
“It smells delicious in here,” he said as soon as he leaned up against the breakfast bar.
“Thanks,” I said softly, keeping my back to him as I cut the potatoes. “I’m making chicken. I hope you like—”
“I wasn’t talking about the damn chicken,” he said roughly, his voice firm and close. He moved toward me, the hair on the back of my neck sticking up as I realized he was coming closer to me. “However, chicken sounds great,” he continued with amusement, clearly enjoying the situation in which we’ve been put in.
“Good. It’ll be done in forty-five minutes if you want to go unpack until then.” I felt his body pressed up against mine, his hands gripping the edge of the counter next to me. He fully closed me in, my ass firm against his groin. “What are you doing?” I blurted, dropping the knife on the cutting board.
“Just getting a better view…” I felt him nuzzle his nose into my hair and inhale the scent of my shampoo.
“You need to stop, Alex. Back up,” I demanded, trying to sound stern, but I felt him smile against my neck. He was clearly entertained by making me uncomfortable now. “I still don’t remember you,” I reminded him, although part of that was a lie. I had remembered some…
My body shivered in response.
“Your body does,” he responded smugly. “And I remember you, Mac. I remember
everything
. The way you moaned as I sunk deep inside you, the way you gripped my hair when I sucked your clit in between my lips, the way you screamed my name when I—”
“Stop!” I shouted. I pushed against his chest, but instead of forcing him back, it pushed our bodies closer together.
“Your mouth is saying one thing, sweetheart. But your body is saying another.”
I was pissed. How dare he use that against me when I’m clearly trying to avoid him?
I turned around, breaking the trap his arms had barricaded me in. “You can remember all you want. But I don’t. It was a mistake. Do you hear me? A mistake!”
He took a step back and crossed his arms over his chest, a smirk playing on his lips. “You can say it all you want, princess. But it still won’t be true.” He leaned in, placing his finger under my chin and tilting my head up to look at him. “You can pretend it didn’t happen all you want, but it still happened. I fucked you so hard, your body could barely move the next morning. When’s the last time you woke up like that? Does my father eat your pussy so good you scream until you lose your voice? You could barely talk or walk when I was done with you.”
Rage fueled my blood the moment he mentioned William. I pushed hard against his chest, forcing him to take a few steps back. “How dare you!” I shouted. “Don’t you ever talk to me like that again,” I spat out, keeping my eyes locked on him so he knew just how serious I was.
“Or what, princess?” he mocked. “You going to let your royal king know you fucked another man?
His son?”
he challenged, raising his brows at me. I stood there, breathless. I could feel my cheeks heat as the anger stirred inside me. “That’s what I thought.”
“You’re an asshole. Nothing like the guy I first met.” My voice came out shaky, filled with emotion and regret.
“I’m exactly the guy you first met. I wanted you and I still want you. That hasn’t changed.” He took another few steps back, finally giving me the distance I needed. “The only thing that’s changed is the game, sweetheart.”
“This is not a game!” I hissed. “I’m a person and you’re messing with my life now.”
“I never said I played by the rules, Mac.”
“The only rule you need to follow is to stay the hell away from me,” I snarled, narrowing my brows at him.
He smiled just before turning and walking toward the door. “Like I just said…I don’t play by the rules.”
I WAS SETTING
the table as William wandered in. As soon as he arrived home, he went into our bedroom and changed out of his work clothes. I knew after dinner, he would finish packing for his trip and going right to sleep since he’d be leaving bright and early. It was routine. However, I was hoping to keep him awake as long as I could. Anything to stay distracted and away from Alex.
“Hello, darling,” I heard William’s soothing voice from behind me. I placed a wine glass on the table as he leaned in and kissed my cheek. “Dinner smells delicious.”
I swallowed and smiled, turning to face William’s warm embrace. “Hi.”
He dipped down to wrap his hands around my waist and pulled me in for a kiss. I melted into his lips, loving the familiar taste of him. I let out a small moan, my body enjoying the attention.
“How long until dinner’s ready? I wanted to check in on Alex.” The mere mention of his name had goose bumps forming on my skin.
“About fifteen minutes,” I answered quickly, not wanting him to notice my reaction.
“Perfect.” He pecked my lips once more before releasing his hold on me. “I’ll let him know.” I smiled in return, wanting to get this night over with as soon as possible. I’m not sure I’d ever get use to this.
Less than ten minutes later, William returned with Alex into the dining room. I overheard them laughing and talking as they settled into their chairs.
“Darling, can you grab
Cabernet Sauvignon
?” William called to me.
“Absolutely! Be right there,” I called back. The chicken and veggies were done, staying hot in the oven. I finished the organic red potatoes with one last teaspoon of margarine and sprinkled chives over the top. I was just finishing when I felt two hands rub down my arm from behind me.
I jerked immediately, furious that Alex had the nerve to touch me when I had been perfectly clear earlier. “Stop,” I snapped, my voice cold and distant.
His hands backed off instantly, but his body stayed pressed against mine. “What’s wrong?”
My head tipped up, my eyes going wide as I heard William’s voice in my ear.
Shit.
I swallowed hard as I thought of what I was going to say to redeem myself. I’d never tell William to stop touching me. I welcomed it, and in most cases, begged for it.
“Are you all right, darling?” he asked, fear laced in his voice.
“Yes, sorry,” I spat out quickly and turned around to look at him. I smiled as I continued, “You just scared me, that’s all.”
“Oh,” he said with a small smile, bringing his arm up to wrap a loose hair around my ear. “Well, that was quite the reaction.”
“I’m sorry,” I apologized again. “I’m tired, really. Just caught me off guard.” I smiled again, hoping that was a good enough excuse.
He tipped his head down and lightly kissed my forehead. “No worries. Let me help.”
Moments later, he walked behind me as I held the pan of lemon chicken and mixed veggies. I set it in the middle of the table and waited for William to set the potatoes next to it. “I’ll grab the wine,” I said quickly, but William grabbed me before I could turn back around.
“I’ll get it. You sit.” He smiled and kissed my cheek. I closed my eyes briefly before nodding.
I kept my eyes low, avoiding Alex’s stare. Before I could grab my chair and sit down, Alex sat up and pulled it out for me. I froze and reluctantly moved my eyes up to look at him. He stood there with a shit-eating grin on his face and patiently waited for me to make the next move.
“Do you plan to eat your dinner standing?”
I hesitated, really considering doing just that. Anything to avoid being near him. I could barely focus with him in the house and now I was expected to sit next to him and eat.
“Mac…sit. I won’t bite.” I raised my brows at him, contemplating if I should trust him or not.
Finally, I inhaled and decided to take the seat. He helped push me in and patted my shoulders briefly before turning to take his seat next to me.
“You need to stop doing that,” I whispered in a firm voice so William wouldn’t hear me.
“Doing what, Mac?” he asked, not keeping his voice down as I had.
I shot him a death look with my eyes, snarling at him in the process. I was
not
going to play his stupid games. “Touching me. Standing close to me. Being inappropriate. All of it. You need to stop it.”
“And why’s that? Afraid you’ll slip and actually do something about it?”
I sighed in frustration, rolling my eyes to the ceiling. I needed to stay calm. I already mistook William for him.
“It’s inappropriate, Alex,” I said, looking him square in the eyes. “I’m marrying your dad. So start getting used to it.”
He smirked—the opposite reaction of what I was going for. He was such an asshole.
“What’s so funny?”
He huffed once more. “That you’re marrying my father…a man twice your age. A man who hardly gives you any attention. A man who cares more about his companies than you or me. A man who has no idea how lucky he truly is…”
I swallowed…unsure of how to respond. I folded my napkin in my lap and cursed William for taking so long with the wine.
“My apologies.” He finally walked back in with the bottle of
wine.
I ended up getting a call that I had to take.” He set it down and I snuck a glance at Alex, who made a tell-all expression of ‘told ya so.’
“No problem, darling.” I smiled up at him just to piss Alex off. I was used to it and I didn’t take offense to it. I knew he worked hard.
I served William his food, making sure to give him a healthy portion of vegetables. His doctor said he needed to eat more greens, so I mixed it with asparagus. “You know, sweetheart,” he began with a smile, “it’d be okay to have dessert once in a while.”
I set the spoon down and watched as his lips spread into an easy smile. “Nice try.” I flashed a fake smile his way. “You heard the doctor,” I reminded him.
“I did.” He placed his napkin in his lap and continued, “And, well, you only live once. So maybe cake once in a while wouldn’t kill me.” He winked, and I knew it was going to be impossible to say no.
“Well, since we have company, I suppose we can make this
one
exception.” I smirked playfully, scooping the vegetables onto my own plate.
I heard Alex clear his throat next to me, grabbing both of our attention. “I’m not company. I live here. In fact, I lived here
first
.” His face was tense and for a moment, I feared he was going to say something about us.
“Alexander,” William warned, but then his tone softened. “Forgive us. It’s been some time since you’ve been home. We aren’t used to anyone dining with us.”
We had dinner with William’s colleagues often, but never at our home. It was always at some fancy restaurant. The apartment was our sanctuary and for one short moment, I forgot Alex was sitting next to me.
Too bad that moment didn’t last.
I sat back and let William and Alex do most of the talking. They still had a lot to catch up on, and I was quickly learning of their relationship. William stuck to questions that were work and business related. I realized he didn’t ask many personal questions, so without thinking, I blurted out, “So were you seeing anyone while you studied in Europe?”