But most importantly, and most essential to Sam’s recovery from her dreadful upbringing, Amanda wanted Sam to realize that nothing that had happened to her was her fault. She wanted her to know that she was cared for, that she was no longer alone in the world, that she wouldn’t have to just dream about a good life … she could live it.
“Samantha … er …
Sam
, I wish I knew the words to say that would convince you how very sorry I am about what our father did—”
Up came that stubborn chin again. “It don’t matter whether you’re sorry or not. It won’t change things.”
“But together we can change things … don’t you see? If you come with me, we can—”
Sam stopped her with a look as frigid as a mountain stream in January. “Get this straight, Miss Priss. I ain’t goin’ nowhere with you: not tonight, not ever. And there’s no way in bloody hell you’re goin’ to get me in that tub!”
Amanda was exhausted, hungry, and overwrought. She considered wrestling Sam into the tub, but she wasn’t sure if she had the strength or the energy, and she wasn’t sure it was the best way to start off their sisterly relationship. She refused to believe she was entirely defeated, however, and decided to seek advice on the matter.
And who did she immediately think to turn to for help? Why, Jack, of course.
“I’ll be right back, Sam,” said Amanda, moving to the door. Sam initially looked surprised, then shrugged and pretended not to be the least bit curious about Amanda’s next strategy. She probably didn’t think it would work, anyway.
As it was such a short distance, and all the lanterns were in use, Amanda walked around the cottage toward the back without bothering to carry a light. She was about to turn the last corner when her shoe got bogged down in the mud and slipped off her heel. She was standing on one leg, with one hand braced against the outside wall of the cottage as she gingerly pushed her shoe back on, when she heard Lord Serling say something that made her freeze in place.
“Well, Jack, you’ve told me the broad particulars of what happened to you after you stumbled out of The Spotted Dog to relieve yourself, but you haven’t yet told me when you recovered your memory.”
“It was when we were leaving Patching.”
“So, you’ve been lying to Miss Darlington ever since you left Patching?”
Amanda felt sick. She’d been duped! Jack had been pretending to have amnesia since yesterday afternoon! She should have figured it out, but she’d been blind to so many clues! For example, the way Jack and Lord Serling talked to each other during the dog attack indicated that Jack remembered a great many things. She’d apparently been too preoccupied with other matters to take note. And she’d trusted Jack. Why would he do such a thing?
“I had to pretend I still needed her assistance, Julian, or she’d have booted me out the door.”
“And your reasons for wanting to stay with Miss Darlington were entirely altruistic? You wanted to assist her in the recovery of her abandoned sibling?”
“Exactly.”
“But I didn’t think you understood her true reason for traveling to Thorney Island till this morning?”
“Well, er, it’s true I didn’t have an altogether
precise
idea of her reason till this morning, but I suspected”—he gave a self-derisive little chuckle—“actually, I suspected a great many things and was very far off the mark in one particular….” His voice trailed off. “But there’s no changing that now,” he finished on a note of regret. Amanda wondered exactly what part of the last four-and-twenty hours he regretted.
There was a pause, then Lord Serling continued. “I concede wholeheartedly that Miss Darlington was very much in need of help in this little undertaking, and I shudder to think how she would have got on without your assistance, Jack, but are you being completely truthful when you say you had no other inducement for pretending amnesia? Could you possibly have been procrastinating your return to London because of the wedding?”
The wedding?
Amanda knew she shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but she couldn’t help herself. Things were coming to light that she had every right to know. Apparently Jack had not only been lying to her but had also kept important facts a secret.
“As you know, my nonappearance at the wedding was not my fault. My initial loss of memory was very real. But once I recovered my memory, I saw no reason to
rush
back to London.”
“No reason, eh?” Lord Serling’s tone was sardonic. “Your bride behaved stoically when she and her family found it necessary to send out five hundred notes of apology the night before the wedding.”
His
bride
? Amanda couldn’t believe what she was hearing!
“Her grace under fire was extremely commendable, Jack. Charlotte is a fine girl, and she was genuinely worried about you. Returning to London as soon as you got your memory back, or at least sending word that you were alive, would have saved Charlotte several hours of worry.”
“Damn Charlotte! I wish I’d never met the girl, much less promised to marry her,” he said with a bitterness that sent a chill down Amanda’s spine. “Getting leg-shackled is the
last
thing on earth I want to do. Hell, I may never go back to London, Julian!”
Amanda had heard enough. With her trembling hand clamped over her mouth, she turned and stumbled away, no longer caring that her skirts dragged in the mud. She couldn’t believe it! The night Jack made love to her he knew himself to be betrothed. He had betrayed both her
and
his bride-to-be. She was a woman that Lord Serling esteemed, but the poor thing had become just another casualty of Jack’s lethal charm! And now it appeared that Jack regretted his proposal of marriage and was wishing… perhaps even planning … to disappoint and shame her again.
Jack was just like her father, Amanda fumed. He was unwilling, perhaps
unable
to meet his responsibilities. No wonder he’d insisted on remaining with her. Jack told Julian he’d stayed with her so he could help her, but Julian didn’t know about their lovemaking at the Angel Inn. Perhaps Jack had seen Amanda’s willingness to dally … with no strings attached … as an opportunity too golden to pass up.
She strode quickly past the house and headed for the beach, taking care to stay out of sight of Theo as he fussed about the horses. Her mind was in turmoil, and her throat ached from holding back a deluge of tears and emotion. She was hurt and angry and growing more furious by the minute.
Perhaps, she thought now, he’d been meaning to get her into bed all along. She was just his sort, wasn’t she? The sort that asked for no commitments, just a single night of unbridled passion to keep as a memory for her dotage! His initial reluctance—on grounds of “pledged honor”—must have been pretense, just like his amnesia was a pretense.
Amanda shook her head.
How pathetic I must seem to him
, she thought,
but what perfect prey for a man like Jack, who shunned commitment like the plague!
She should have seen it coming. Even when he had no memory, his aversion to marriage was frequently brought out in conversation. He talked intimately in his sleep of women. Even Theo had labeled him a rogue from day one. But Amanda had been too starved for affection, too beguiled by the man to be sensible. Oh, how she wished she’d never clapped eyes on Jackson Montgomery!
“You know I don’t approve of such language when you’re speaking of a lady, Jack,” Julian said stiffly. “I find it particularly offensive when you use it in the same sentence with the name of Charlotte Batsford.”
“Good God, Julian,” said Jack, dragging both hands through his hair. “If you think so highly of her, why don’t you wed the chit? That would settle things nicely for everyone!”
“I had a feeling you were regretting your betrothal, but I never once entertained the idea that you would try to weasel your way out of the wedding. I defended you to Lady Batsford when she insinuated as much.”
“Thank you, brother,” Jack said grimly. “But now I suppose you’re wondering if your gallant leap to my defense was precipitant.”
Julian’s silence spoke volumes.
Jack sighed with weary resignation. “No, blast it. I’m not going to jilt Charlotte. I’m very sorry I cursed just now while discussing her. I’m going to go directly back to London as soon as we’ve safely escorted Amanda and her sister to Surrey. I’ll repeat my vows at the altar whenever Charlotte sets the date. I’ve never seriously considered any other course of action.”
“I’m relieved, Jack,” Julian admitted. “Normally I wouldn’t doubt you in the least, but recently I had begun to wonder if your affection for another woman had fuddled your reasoning.”
Jack didn’t bother denying Julian’s suggestive words. “I suppose you’re speaking of Amanda?”
Julian shrugged. “But of course. Who else? You
are
in love with her, aren’t you?”
Again Jack sighed. He stuffed his hands in his trouser pockets and threw back his head to stare at the sky. Bright stars pricked the velvet darkness and violet-gray wisps of clouds scudded across the moon. He turned and faced his brother. “Damnit, Julian. How did things get so complicated so fast?” he wondered desperately. “I’ve only known Amanda three days and—by God!—it’s true what you say! I hadn’t realized it till tonight, but I
am
in love with the baggage! What am I going to do?”
Julian stood still as a statue, his eyes black sockets in the dim moonlight, his posture straight and unyielding … like his words. “You have to do the honorable thing by Charlotte, Jack. There is no other alternative.”
But what if Julian knew that he’d compromised Amanda? Jack wondered dismally. Then what would he advise? How could he do the honorable thing by
both
of them?
“Deuced bad timing, brother,” Julian said sincerely, breaking into Jack’s unhappy speculations.
“Isn’t it, though?” Jack agreed gloomily.
There was a moment of commiserative silence broken by Julian gravely suggesting that it was time to go in. Jack nodded, and they walked slowly back to the front of the cottage.
Julian knocked on the door, and Sam’s voice called, “Come in.” But when they entered, expecting to see Sam clean and dressed in one of Amanda’s black gowns, they saw nothing of the sort.
“Where’s Amanda?” Jack demanded to know, instantly worried. “And why do you still look as though you’ve been wallowing in the mud?”
“I wouldn’t talk if I were you,” Sam retorted. “You don’t look none too spiffy yourself.”
“Answer the question, brat,” Julian inquired in a deceptively mild tone. “Where’s Miss Darlington?”
“I told her I wouldn’t get in the tub no way, no how,” Sam informed them with a triumphant sniff. “So’s she left, saying she’d be right back. I don’t know where she went and I don’t care.” She crossed her arms a little higher on her chest and shifted in the chair till her back was to them.
“Surely you have an idea which way she went?” Julian persisted in the same mild tone but taking a deliberate step forward. Jack was sure Sam noticed the threatening suggestion in Julian’s manner. The subtle but undeniable authority in his voice, his daunting stature, and his haughty mien had made many a man tremble in his boots. Sam darted a nervous look at him and squirmed in her chair.
Julian took another step and Sam hastily capitulated. “I thought she’d gone round back,” she said. “Then later I saw her goin’ down to the water like her bloomers were afire and she had to put ‘em out.” Resentfully, she added, “But like I said, it don’t matter to me where she went.”
Jack exchanged a panicked glance with Julian. “You don’t think she …?”
“Heard us? Possibly. You’d better go after her, Jack. I’ll take care of this one.”
After Jack left, Sam watched with wide eyes as Julian removed his jacket and rolled up his sleeves. “Wh-what do you think you’re doin’, mister?” she inquired in a timorous voice.
Bland-faced, Julian replied, “You should have cooperated with your sister. Now you’re going to have to bathe in water that is tepid at best. So, Sam, are you going to take off your clothes, or am I going to have to take them off for you?”
He advanced.
Jack scanned the beach and easily spied Amanda walking with her head down at the very edge of the surf. She wasn’t wearing a shawl or a wrap of any kind, and the wind was rather chilly. He knew she was probably upset, though he didn’t know for sure if she’d overhead him talking to Julian, so he’d have to tread carefully till she revealed the source of her troubles. She could simply be upset about Sam. Under the same circumstances, who wouldn’t be?
As he approached, she looked up, then immediately looked down. Such a reaction did not bode well. She must have heard him talking to Julian, but how much had she heard? Had she heard
all
his confessions? Did she realize he was in love with her?
He fell into step beside her. “It’s cold,” he offered.
“I hadn’t noticed,” she answered crisply.
“Will you take my jacket?”
“No.”
“Then can I put my arm around your shoulder to keep you warm while we walk?”
She shook her head vehemently. “Absolutely not.”
“And why not?”
She stopped and faced him. The moonlight picked out highlights in her hair, and her eyes shone an icy silver blue. “Because you are betrothed, Jack. I don’t think your bride-to-be would appreciate your dallying with another woman, do you? And don’t blame your involvement with me on your amnesia. We both know you’ve had your memory back for some time.”
Jack dragged an open palm down his jaw. “You heard me and Julian talking.”
Amanda averted her eyes. Staring out to sea, she said in a voice rendered dull and lifeless from shock, “I should be ashamed of eavesdropping, but I’m not. You should have told me. I had a right to know. I’d never have … have stayed with you last night if I’d known you were engaged.”
Jack grabbed her upper arms, and in a fierce voice he said exactly what was in his heart. “Then I’m glad I didn’t tell you.”
She slapped his face.
Jack rubbed his jaw and grimaced. “I deserved that,” he admitted.
She did not reply but started walking again, toward the house this time.