DanielsSurrender (21 page)

He wouldn’t though, and it tore Shannon in two. Everything
in her cried out to go to him, to hold him and comfort him. But she knew that
he wouldn’t welcome it. If she knew her man, and she thought she did, he’d be
humiliated and probably even pissed beyond words to have her witness this moment
of weakness.

So she forced herself to stay on her own side of the bed
until his shudders slowed and finally stopped. When she thought he’d finally
slipped back into sleep, she inched closer, until she could wrap an arm over
his waist. Until she was once again spooned up against his back.

She’d been sure he was sleeping, so she was surprised when
he captured her hand with one of his, winding his fingers around hers and
holding tight.

Neither spoke, and she held him until sleep covered them
both like a blanket.

She woke in the early evening, alone in an empty bed. She
stumbled through a shower and into the kitchen, drawn by the tantalizing scent
of coffee. There was a note propped against the warm coffee pot.

Eat. You need it.

She rolled her eyes. Even via note he was bossy. She loved
it.

Take good care of Matt. I’ll talk to you later.

She shook off the unease caused by waking in an empty house,
and gave a silly little grin. She could hardly wait to tell Matt about their
breakthrough.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Matt had been thrilled to hear about Daniel’s surrender the
previous night, but both of them found their elation fading as the evening
passed with no sign of the man. By nine, Shannon was sick with worry. She’d
come too close to losing Matthew less than twenty-four hours ago. She needed to
know Daniel was safe.

There was no answer on his cell. No answer at the house.
Finally, in desperation, she tried his office and was surprised when he
actually answered the phone.

“God, Daniel, thank God you’re all right.” She couldn’t keep
the relief from her voice. It quickly drained away, though, at his answer.

“Shit, I didn’t even think. I just got swamped.” An
uncomfortable silence filled the line. No questions about how she was after the
cataclysmic lovemaking of the day before. Hell, no questions about how Matt was
after the cataclysmic accident of the night before.

“Well.” She hated the hesitation that entered her voice.
“You’re okay. That’s what matters.” Matt was waving determinedly for the phone,
but she ignored him. She couldn’t understand, or maybe she couldn’t accept, the
vibe she was getting from Daniel.

“So.” She kept her voice determinedly level. “When can you
get here?” She forged on in the uncomfortable silence. “Matt is crazy to see
you.”

There was a long pause.

“Well.” She heard papers rustle. “I’ve got another couple of
hours here, and then I thought I’d go home and get some sleep.” His voice took
on a lascivious tone, one that was worlds away from his natural sexy tones.
“Some naughty little girl kept me from getting much sleep today.” He hesitated
a moment. “You’ll explain to Matt, won’t you?”

All she heard was him saying that he wasn’t coming. “I love
you, Daniel.” Matt’s eyebrows shot up at her words. “But you can do your own
dirty work.” Without another word, she handed Matthew the phone.

* * * * *

For two weeks Daniel had managed not to be alone with either
of them. He’d timed his visits to coincide with Marcus’, or even better, with
Meredith’s. And Matt had clung to every second Daniel gave them, even as he
felt the man slipping further and further away.

Two weeks was more than enough, though, and they weren’t
going to let Daniel hide any longer.

Shannon waved a sauce-covered spoon at Matthew as he stalked
her around the large island that dominated Daniel’s state-of-the-art kitchen.

“If you want to eat tonight, you’ll leave me alone.” She
tried to sound severe, but the giggles kept creeping through.

“Oh.” Matthew’s voice was low and suggestive. “I think
you’ve already got plenty for me to eat, and there’s no cooking required.”
Matthew reached out one long arm and snagged her wrist, pulling her gently
against his still tender torso in a move that left them both facing the
doorway. And Daniel.

“You’re home!” Shannon instantly untangled herself from
Matthew’s arms and dashed across the room, remembering at the last minute to
raise her spoon enough that it wouldn’t smear Daniel’s designer suit.

Matthew smiled at the sight of them, Daniel so serious and
Shannon like a ray of sunshine, wrapping her free hand around his neck to pull
him down for a warm kiss. As amazing as the sex was, and
fuck
was it
amazing, Shannon gave them something more. She showered them with affection.
She made his heart smile.

Quirking a devilish eyebrow, Matthew repeated her words.

“You’re home.” He walked over to slide one hand around her
waist, pressing into Daniel’s abdomen. He shot him a wicked grin as he felt
Daniel’s stomach muscles ripple beneath his hand, and pressed a light kiss on
the top of Shannon’s head. “And
your
garlic bread is about to burn,” he
added. His teasing words sent Shannon flying back across the kitchen, drawing
Matthew’s laughter and a brief smile from Daniel.

The men watched her for a moment, Daniel leaning on the door
frame, and Matthew leaning on Daniel. As fast as he was healing, he still got
tired too fucking fast, and he was glad to have Daniel’s strength to draw on.
He was close enough to feel the familiar, light tension in Daniel’s body, and
it spread to his own. He was also close enough to feel Daniel stiffen at his
next words.

“She’s going to make an amazing mother one day.” He’d really
only been thinking out loud, but once said, the mental picture of Shannon,
swelling with their baby, took on a life of its own.

Daniel’s sudden stillness caught his attention and Matthew
tipped his head back, trying to make eye contact. Daniel’s perfect jaw was
rigid. Putting his hands on Matthew’s shoulders, he gently moved a step away
before responding. The bleak look in his eyes left Matthew with a hollow
feeling somewhere in the vicinity of his heart.

“Yes. She will. Every child deserves an amazing mother. Too
bad I won’t be around to see it.”

“Won’t be around to see what?” The men had been so focused
on each other that neither had noticed Shannon’s approach.

“Won’t be around to see you with your babies.” Daniel’s
voice was carefully level.

“Umm.” Shannon blinked and shot Matt a bewildered look.
“Well, since I have no immediate plans to
have
any babies, maybe we
should shelve this conversation for the moment.”

Stepping between them, she handed Matthew the cutlery, and
Daniel a box of matches. “Why don’t you boys finish setting up the table, and
I’ll bring out dinner.” She laid her hand on Daniel’s cheek. “I’m sure we can
find something more interesting to talk about.”

“Angel, ignoring the facts won’t make them go away.” Daniel
laid his hand over hers before pressing a tender kiss into her palm and
releasing it. “This has been fun, it’s been a fucking awesome game, but you
both knew it wasn’t permanent.” He forced a sardonic smile. “Or even
exclusive.”

He watched his words impact Shannon like a blow. Seeing her
hurt, knowing he was the one who had caused it, left him feeling sick and
disgusted with himself. But she had to understand. Hell, she and Matthew
both
had to understand. He’d given them all he had to give. To ask for more was to
ask for disaster and pain all around. Better to be cruel now. He wanted them to
hate him. It would make it easier for Matt and Shannon to go on and have a
great life together.

“You didn’t really expect that we were going to have some
happily ever after, did you?” He didn’t meet her eyes, but saw Matthew’s hands
come to her shoulders, bracing her.

“Daniel.” Her voice was soft and firm, drawing his eyes
unwillingly to hers. He could drown in their liquid brown depths. Taking a step
away from Matthew’s supporting arms, she laid one tiny hand on his chest and
spoke directly into his eyes. Directly into his soul.

“Daniel, I love you. Matthew loves you. Without you, there
will be a part of our hearts that will always be empty.” Her words were
matter-of-fact, almost unemotional. The emotion was all in her eyes. “I am
willing to give up everything for you, and for Matthew. I will face the
disapproval of my friends, my family.” She gave a small, sad smile. “Heck, I’ll
face Matthew’s big sister. I won’t even ask you to love us back. Just be with
us. Be with only us. I need that from you, and Matthew does, too.” She blinked
back tears. “We deserve it. All three of us deserve it.”

Daniel’s muscles stiffened and bunched beneath his suit.
Every word Shannon spoke echoed in his head, as though he were listening to a
recording. After the “
I need that from you… Matthew does too…
” Daniel
seemed to lose his concentration. What they were asking for was not something
he had to give. Even though every cell in his body wished that he could.

He looked from Shannon, her eyes filled with unshed tears,
over to Matt who stood behind her like a knight behind his lady. The younger
man’s face was unreadable. Gone was the jovial man Daniel had come to know so
well. In his place was a cool, cautious creature of Daniel’s making.

They were both watching him, silent and solemn, and Daniel
cleared his throat. It wasn’t every day a man ended a relationship like this.

“I told you both from the beginning, there is no more for me
than this. Than sex.” He crossed his arms, trying to hold in the pain growing
inside of him. “I can’t be what you need.”

“You have no clue what we need.” Matthew’s voice was as cool
as his eyes. “You keep saying we want to change you. And you know what? You’re
right, we do. We want you to be happy. That’s something you’ve never been. Not
in all the years I’ve known you. And yes, Dan, you did tell us it was all about
the sex. Fine. Don’t throw that away because you’re scared to let it mean
something more.”

Shannon, ever the peacemaker, tentatively reached out to
touch Daniel’s sleeve.
He refused to look at her as she
spoke.

“Daniel, we know who you are. We
love
who you are. We
just want you to let us give you that love.”

“And what would that look like, angel?” Daniel kept his eyes
on Matt—it was easier because at the moment Matt looked ready to kill him.

“It would look like whatever we want it to. We belong
together, the three of us. Alone none of us is complete. Together we make a
whole. A family. It doesn’t have to make sense to anyone but us.”

Daniel gently removed Shannon’s hand. “I’m not looking for a
family. I don’t
need
a family.”

“I was here, Daniel. When Matt was in the hospital.” Her
words were matter-of-fact and terrifying. Daniel shook his head. No, she
wouldn’t betray him like this, use his weakness against him. He knew that
Shannon had witnessed his breakdown. He’d clung to her through the night,
basking in the comfort she offered him. She never questioned him, or forced
herself on him. Shannon had been as she always was—a ray of light to his dark
soul.

“Shannon, you don’t want to do this.”

“Daniel, I’m fighting for us. There’s nothing I wouldn’t
do.”

She twined her fingers with Matthew’s on her shoulder.

“That night we were both so scared you wouldn’t wake up,
Matt.” Her eyes never left Daniel’s. “And we held each other. You were the only
thing solid in the world for me, and I think—no, I know—that you needed me,
too.”

Daniel felt his skin burn as Matt and Shannon faced him
together. Panic, sharp as a knife, sliced though his chest.

“Fine,” he shouted. “You want to hear me admit I lost it
that night and you had to pull me back together? That the thought of Matthew
dying at the hand of a drunk driver tore a chunk out of me? Is that what you
need to hear?”

Matt started forward, Daniel jerked away.

“Don’t.” He was acutely aware of the open doorway at his
back. “It’s over. I won’t go through another night like that. You two have
trust and faith and all the rest of that happy shit that makes love grand. I
can’t give that to you, don’t you get it? I don’t know how.”

Matt held Shannon back when she went to try to comfort
Daniel.

“When are you going to get tired of all your excuses? We
want to give you everything. It’s up to you now, Daniel. It’s your turn to
reach out, to take what we’re dying to give you. To give us all what we need,
what we deserve.” Matt’s voice was gruff with emotion. He’d never sounded so
grown up. So much a man. “When are you going to quit living in the past?
Finding excuse after tired excuse as to why you can’t just be happy. Let it go,
let them go, then maybe you’ll have the guts to take what we’re dying to give
you.”

Overwhelming sadness enveloped Daniel from head to toe, but
he managed to break away from Matthew’s stormy hazel stare. Gathering strength
he didn’t really feel, Daniel straightened and faced the two most important
people in his life.

“I’m broken, Matty.” He heard Shannon’s low sound of pain.
“Be good to each other.” He turned his back and took a step toward the
stairway. “Have a good life.” He walked quickly downstairs, heading for the
safety of his playroom. His steps faltered as he heard Shannon’s soft cries
behind him. He fell against the wall when he heard them softly shut his door.
He ground the heels of his hands against his eyes, not allowing moisture to
gather.

Dear God, what had he just given up?

For a split second in there, Daniel had believed. Believed
that the three of them could carve out a life together. Then
he
returned. The voice that haunted him year after year.

Love makes you weak, boy, don’t be like your old man.