Authors: Eden Davis
“You
puta!”
Jealous rage shrouded Belinda's face, as her open hand delivered an irate blow across Jasi's cheek. Without warning,
she pounced on her girlfriend in a moving fury of lips and limbs. Her hands pulled at the scoop neck of Jasi's tank top until it ripped. With angry lust, Belinda tore it in half, exposing Jasi's naked breasts. Lips, tongue and teeth descended on her tits, anger removing the desire for gentle loving, and mixing punishing pain with hurts so good pleasure. Belinda's teeth captured Jasi's tender flesh leaving marks in their wake before pulling at her nipples. Fingers replaced teeth, squeezing and twisting Jasi's swollen nipples. Jas screamed as the pain of her lover's bite sent shockwaves through her body, waking up her forlorn snatch.
“Pero no voy viven en las sombras,”
Belinda hissed with a sexy, dominatrix tone as she reached for the hairbrush on the end table. Jasi had no time to wonder what her lovely Latina had uttered, as Belinda expertly pulled the string on her pajamas pants and watched them drop to the floor. “Bend over the couch,” she demanded.
Drunk on a cocktail of remorse and lust, Jasi obeyed without comment. Usually she played the alpha role in their lovemaking, and Belinda's unexpected rough and demanding vibe was turning her the fuck on.
She knelt on the seat cushions resting her elbows on the back of the sofa. Seconds later, she felt Belinda's soft, warm palm circling the fleshiest part of her left butt cheek, followed by the quick stinging slap of wood on bare ass.
“Ow!” Jasi groaned.
“Don't you ever lie to me again,” Belinda ordered, giving her another slap with her hairbrush.
“I won't, baby. Now please lick me. I need you to eat me.”
“No. You make yourself come while I watch,” Belinda decided, slapping Jasi's ass one more time for good measure.
Every nerve in Jasi's body was throbbing, but the smarting sensation only made her hornier. She grabbed her own breast, squeezing
it hard enough to bruise before tweaking the sore nips. For whatever reason, the pain was making her feel incredibly vibrant and alive. Rather than feeling like a punishment, this mild dawdling into the S & M arena felt more like a prize.
Jasi ran her hand down her torso, caressing her belly before sliding down toward her nearly hairless snatch. Before her hand could delve inside, Belinda slipped her hand between Jasi's legs and forcefully slapped her lower lips. Jasi jumped slightly, enjoying the sensations traveling through her nether regions.
“Turn around so I can watch.”
Again, Jasi followed orders, lying back on the couch with her knees up and spread, allowing her easy access into her hole, and Belinda an unobstructed view. She dipped inside to harvest the warm juices of her turned out pussy. Slowly, Jasi smeared her engorged clit and began to rub, feeling it getting longer and harder in anticipation of orgasm. She closed her eyes to better savor the intense pleasure as she pushed, tickled and taunted her nib almost to the point of no return.
Without warning, Belinda sprang on her lover, grabbing and sucking on her titties while shoving three fingers deep into Jasi's twat. Jas pushed her pelvis against her palm wanting to fully partake in Belinda's relentlessly raw and demanding finger-fucking.
“Pero no voy viven en las sombras,”
Belinda hissed again, after lifting her head from Jasi's breasts.
“What, baby?” Jasi managed to breathlessly squeak out between moans. “I don't understand.”
“I will not live in the shadows. Not for
mi familia
or you,” Belinda informed her, leaving a trail of angry bites down Jasi's torso as her mouth traded places with her hands. She used her teeth to gently tug at Jasi's labia before slipping her stiff tongue into the ocean of pink and tongue-fucking her.
“It's over, I promise. I love you,” was Jasi's breathy response.
The hot and briny scent of sex permeated the living room and raised Jasi's arousal to the point of no return. Jasi tried to relax her body and give into the sensations overtaking her. Just as she'd momentarily settled the tension, Belinda disrupted her calm by reaching up and squeezing her nipples while she rhythmically licked and sucked her big fat clit until it began to contract and pulsate.
Belinda repositioned herself, scissoring her legs between Jasi's so her furry mound kissed Jasi's nearly bald one. She thrust back and forth, rubbing their pussies together and totally enjoying the fantastic friction it was creating. She spread her lips so her clit could rub directly on Jasi's smooth, wet pussy.
“I'm the only one you fuck from now on!” Belinda screamed as she felt herself getting closer to exploding.
“Yes, baby, only you,” Jasi responded, feeling her twat getting fired up again. The lovers continued to rub and grind on each other until Belinda screamed, releasing her anger and love and announcing the arrival of her orgasm as her clit throbbed against Jasi's.
Belinda collapsed on top and tried to regulate her breath, while Jasi relaxed into the fading tide of her own emotions and physical pleasure.
“I love you,” Jasi said. “I promise. No more shadows. I'm not sure how. I don't have all the answers yet, but I'm going to make this right.”
“Good, but first you need to find the answer to one important question,” Belinda, back to her soft and gentle self, informed her. “Why do you not trust anyone to love you for you?”
“You look great,” Jasi remarked as she quickly looked up from her coffee mug to observe. “Have you lost weight?”
“Not really. Must be the new jeans. Thank God for spandex,” Livia quipped with polite reserve.
“Have you seen the new Billy Dee Williams exhibit at the Loth Gallery?” Jasi asked, hoping their mutual talent and appreciation for art would kick start the discussion.
“No, I always had a kind of a ho-hum feeling about actors turned artists. I guess because it so often feels that it's their celebrity, not true talent, that gets them revered as artists.”
“Yeah, I get that joke.”
Both women sat nervously at the table making the smallest of talk, neither exactly sure how to begin this most uncomfortable conversation. Other than a few early, and ultimately unsuccessful, outreach attempts by Jasi, the two had not spoken since “the incident.”
As the waitress approached and warmed their coffee, an uncomfortable silence descended over their table. If the air was to be cleared between the two of them today, somebody needed to get the conversation moving.
Tired of the silliness, Jasi decided to apply her own brand of air freshener. “I owe you an apology.”
“For what, setting me up to have sex with a perfect stranger?” Livia asked. Lena and Aleesa had already explained all of this to
her, but it was easier to talk about that than delve into the delicate reason Livi thought she deserved an apology.
“I would never do that to you. There was never any safety threat because Julian was no stranger. I've been going to Jessebelle's for years and he's a good guy. I knew you'd be safe and in good hands.
“Another lie,” Livia said under her breath.
“What?” Jasi felt the prickles of anger beginning to surface.
“I said, that's just another lie. You let me think that he was a stranger, just like you let me thinkâ¦let all of us think⦔ Livia's accusation died in her throat.
Jasi took a deep breath in an attempt to monitor her anxiety. This conversation had the potential of blowing up in so many ugly ways she really wanted to avoid. The truth of the matter was that she missed Livia, and wanted to put get their friendship back on track, but in a more open and honest place. Belinda was absolutely right; she didn't deserve to live and love in the shadows and neither did Jasi. She really hoped her girlfriends could deal with and accept the truth about her sexuality, but if they couldn't, there was no choice to be made. Now and forever, Belinda would always come first.
“Yes, it's true that I let you believe that your Mr. Fox was a stranger, but I wasn't trying to deceive you. I was trying to help you have some fun and get through your list.”
Livia listened to her friend, instinctively believing that she was telling the truth, just like she knew that the bartender had little to do with what she was really upset about.
“I know.”
“Then why don't we talk about what's really bothering you?”
Silence once again descended around them as both women took the time to digest the seriousness of what was not being said. Several months' worth of divergent thoughts ran through Livia's mind.
Everything from walking in on Jasi and that woman in the bathroom, to her discussions about the idea of sex with a woman turning them on, to her own quasi bisexual experience on the yacht.
Livia looked across the table at her friend. Jasi sat nervously tapping her fingers against the table while a telling look of distress colored her face. Behind all of her bluster, Livi could tell that she was apprehensive about opening up about this deeply personal subject. Compassion flooded her body as Livia remembered her own reluctance to admit to Lena and Aleesa that she simply liked watching two women making love. She could only imagine how hard it must be for Jasi, after all of this time, to admit to it being her preferred lifestyle.
“Are you a lesbian?” Livia asked, dropping the question on the table as an act of compassion.
“Yes, I'm gay,” Jasi admitted and then exhaled sharply. There, she'd said it, and it felt strangely liberating. This was the first time she'd ever spoken those words to anyone other than Belinda. Even the many women she'd messed around with always were told that she was bisexual. Only Belinda had made her realize how she'd been hiding behind the term to keep from admitting who and what she truly was.
“What about Todd?” Livia asked as she tried to process Jasi's confirmation of what she'd already figured out.
“I loved Todd. I still do. He is a kind and decent friend, but basically he was in my life to keep my mother happy,” Jasi admitted.
“You mean fooled, like the rest of us.”
“Okay, I'll accept that. Yes. I kept Todd in my life to fool the rest of you into believing that I was straight.”
“Why? I thought we were friends.”
“So did I.”
“Well, friends don't lie to friends, especially about something so huge. You've been lying to all of us for years,” Livia shot back. “Where's the friendship in that?”
“Yeah, well, friends accept their friends for who they are,” Jasi responded with a quiet bite to her tone.
“You never gave me, or anyone else it sounds like, the chance. Clearly, you believed that none of usâneither your friends nor your familyâwould have accepted you knowing you were a lesbian.”
“Did you? Because correct me if I'm wrong, but ever since Jessebelle's, you've been avoiding me like I've got bird flu or something. Instead of reaching out, you cut me off. You've been upset with me for months just because I had sex with a woman. So where's the friendship in that? Where's the acceptance in that?”
Livia felt the sting of Jasi's accusation. She honestly could not dispute anything she'd just said. Ever since she walked through that restroom door, a myriad of thoughts, opinions and judgments against Jasi had swirled around her head. If she was to be truthful with herself, Livia had to admit that she'd settled on being mad at Jasi for lying to her as a way to avoid her own wrong and unsupportive actions against her friend.
“Honestly, I didn't know what to think,” Livia admitted. “All my life I was taught all kinds of things about homosexuality from my family and church. Most, I can see now, were bullshit. I never had to deal with how I felt about gay people in any real way. I never really knew any.”
“Well, now you do,” Jasi interrupted, feeling stronger and more at ease about opening up. “And I'm the same crazy-ass bitch you knew before you found out that I like sleeping with women. Nothing else has really changed.”
“I think I always understood that. But to be honest, what really
pissed me off was that there you were at my party and at Tickle Me Pink, making all of these demands that I make this list and go out and screw the world, and that I own it, and make no excuses. I mean I teased you, but I've never told you how much I really did admire you for being so open when it came to sex, and then I come to find out that it was all bull. You couldn't even do those things for yourself.”
Jasi covered her face with her hands to hide the shame. Livia spoke the truth. She had pushed and damn near shamed the poor girl into branching out and taking control of her sex life and there she was being a hypocritical chicken shit.
“I'm really sorry, Liv.”
“And I'm sorry, too. Despite all of that, I should have given you the opportunity to explain instead of ignoring you. All I can say in my defense was that it was easier for me to be mad at you for betraying me than to face the fact that I was betraying you.”
“Apology accepted. Don't worry about it. In hindsight, it was probably best that you didn't. I doubt that I could have been truthful with you then. I probably would have stayed with that bullshit story about being drunk and trying to satisfy some one-time girl-on-girl curiosity.
“I should have been honest with you and the girls, but the real deal, Livia, is that I've been living a lie all of my life. Nobody knows who I am, not my parents, my friends, Todd, my past loversâ¦shit, I'm pretty shaky on the subject my damn self. I've been too ashamed of who I really am, and too afraid of disappointing people to be honest with anyone, including myself. I wasn't ready to be real back then, but I am now.”
“So what's changed?”
“For one, I'm too fucking old to be worried about what other
people think about me, or my lifestyle choices. But it was Belinda who really helped me see that when it came down to it, the only person I was hurting with all of my deceitfulness was me.”