Authors: Mary B. Morrison
Two hours earlierâ¦
A
t what point in a man's life was he ready to love and be loved?
Sitting in the passenger seat of our SUV, I asked myself that question as I trailed my pointing finger from her kneecap, along her thigh, then up to the crevice of her crotch. I wanted her to park in the emergency lane, put on the brake, and turn on the flashers so I could bend her over the armrest and fuck her real good.
That was my fantasy but not a good idea with my son behind me in the backseat. I scanned from her succulent mocha lips, to her collarbone, to her cleavage, down to her lap where the seat belt hugged snug across her hips, keeping my pussy safe.
Damn, I love my sexy ass wife.
Slugger could wait until we got home to slide his throbbing head inside our favorite hot spot. My wife was cool but her pussy seemed to have a built-in thermostat permanently set at a lethal body temperature of 106 degrees. Her good pussy was one of several reasons I hadn't fucked another woman since we'd gotten married.
I adjusted my partially erect nine-inch shaft, bit my bottom lip, shook my head. I was the luckiest man to have Fancy Taylor as my better half. She had what I called the magnificent fiveâbrains, beauty, booty, breasts, and her own bank. The odds of finding all those qualities in one female were slimmer than winning California's Mega Millions lotto.
I texted her, I'ma beat that pussy up tonight!
Her iPhone dinged twice. My wife glanced at her phone, read her text, then nodded at me. When she tried to reply, I took her phone, placed it in my lap. “Not while you're driving.” Careless shit happened when drivers didn't watch the road. Whenever possible, I was the passenger. Addicted to texting, tweeting, and Facebookâall that technological shit was my weaknessâI had to have my hands free in order to communicate with my teammates and fans.
“I love you,” my wife said, resting her hand on my thigh. In a sad tone, she added, “And I miss LA.”
I agreed with her. Our living in Atlanta made us too laid back. Fame didn't excite folks in Atlanta. People in LA gave us that red carpet treatment. I replied, “No matter where we live, long as I've got you, I'm good. You are my everything, woman.” Then I took a picture of the long line of cars on the 405 freeway in front of us.
“Am I your everything, Daddy?” my son asked.
My Facebook fan page automatically updated my Twitter page so I entered the caption, Only in LA, then posted the pic.
“Of course, my man. Daddy loves you unconditionally.”
“What does that mean?” he asked.
“I love you no matter what,” I said, reading the comments posted to my page. Most of my fans wanted to know where I was headed. Unbeknownst to my wife, my phone kept my dick out of a lot of chicks' mouths.
Pussy was deceiving. I wasn't banging, but every once in a while I'd let a chick blow me. The attitude I'd seen from women upfront wasn't what I'd gotten after cumming. I'd concluded that all females were either bipolar or straight-up undercover crazy.
Learned the hard way not to leave my cell phone unattended. One chick took a close-up of her pussy, texted the photo from her phone to mine, then replied from my phone back to hers, Can't wait to hit your pussy again. And she copied my wife. All that happened while I was taking a shit and a shower in my hotel room.
She was trying to get three minutes of fame. Shit backfired. When I got home, I told my wife my phone was stolen, asked her to buy me a new iPhone and change my number. Wasn't getting caught in a tiger trap. My wife had no reason not to believe me. I downloaded my data from my Mac computer to my new phone and kept shit moving.
I'd learned that each of my orgasms came with the hidden costs of a female's emotional distress. Ginger. Miranda. Heather. Zen. Maxine. Ciara. Ashlee. If I blended the best every woman I'd fucked had to offer and molded their assets into one woman, that one woman would not come close to being better than my wife. And the exact opposite of Fancy was my son's vindictive mother, Ashlee.
W
ham!
I buried my fist in my pillow, wishing it were Darius's chest. Not a day went by that I didn't go insane missing our son.
“What did Darius do to prove he was a better fit parent? I'll tell you. Nothing, that's what!” I rolled onto my back, gave my down feather pillow the tightest hug. My fists pressed against my ribs. I kicked my feet high in the air, quickly sat on the edge of my bed, then closed my eyes. “I hate you, Darius!” I flung the pillow across the room, opened my eyes to the sound of perfume bottles crashing to the floor.
After having my son, my postpartum depression escalated to bouts of mania. I was happy before and when I'd met Darius. Cute little innocent adolescent Ashlee. That was me. The voice in my head said, “You know you should've aborted his baby.” I thought keeping his baby would make him love me, make us a family. By the time I realized I was wrong, DJ was born.
I curled my fingers over my thumbs, squinted, rocked back and forth as I sat on the edge of my bed. “I did the right thing by keeping my baby. Darius still loves me.”
My inner voice answered,
Keep believing that, you gonna end up in a psychiatric ward.
“Don't say that,” I told myself. “My mental instability isn't my fault.”
My life changed forever when I became pregnant. I went from jovial to being depressed my entire pregnancy. Almost four years after giving birth, I was still on these antidepressant medications. I shook two tablets into my hand, tossed them in my mouth, then gulped a sixteen-ounce bottle of water without stopping.
I heard a car door open. “That's them.” I placed the empty bottle on my nightstand, ran into my living room.
I snatched back my curtain, stared out my front window, and watched my ex's baby mama and her son enter Jay's house. Jay was my man until that bitch Tracy came back into his life. I hate weak men who let females control them. When I met Jay, he said he wasn't in a relationship. What he failed to mention was he wasn't over his ex. A man who was emotionally unavailable should keep his dick unavailable too. After I found out about Tracy, I leased this house across the street from Jay.
No man gets rid of me. I leave when I'm done.
Before Tracy closed his door, I opened mine. A burst of cold air clung to my virtually naked body. I yelled, “Bitch, you better watch your back! You and that trick ass baby of yours is next.” Her son was a year older than mine. She needed to keep her ass at her own house instead of babysitting Jay's house while he was in jail.
Men were the root of all my problems. My daddy and Darius have moved on with their lives.
Slam!
I closed my front door, turned up the thermostat to reheat my home. I went back to my bedroom, sat on my bed. “Now, I hate Jay Crawford and Darius Jones.”
I'd relocated from Dallas to D.C. shortly after the custody hearing. The worst day of my life was listening to the judge say, “Based on the caseworker's recommendation and the testimony given today, the court awards full custody to Dariusâ¦.” That bitch claimed I was mentally unstable.
The judge's decision to award custody to Darius numbed my compassion for men. Best if I didn't date another man anytime soon. I sat on the edge of my bed in my red boy shorts replaying that day in court over in my mind, trying to figure out what I'd done wrong besides fall in love with Darius. I flopped backward on the mattress.
Unlike with Jay, my heart had never stopped loving Darius.
J
ay-Z loved New York and Darius Jones loved Los Angeles.
The bumper-to-bumper traffic on the 405 didn't faze me. The LA sunshine beamed to a warm eighty degrees, my son chilled in the backseat, and my wife sat high behind the wheel driving us to BOA Steakhouse for dinner. The only person missing from my special evening was my mother. She'd insisted on attending a movie premiere with her new so-called fiancé, Grant Hill, and her new personal assistant, Bambi.
Hadn't met Bambi yet. Mom tried making me remember her from elementary, middle, and high school but I couldn't. Didn't matter. Bambi was Mom's PA, not mine.
I'd tell my mom that dude was all bad before she walked down the aisle. I'd paid for her wedding to see her happy again but I couldn't buy her happiness. I still had to look out for Mom but right now my mouth watered for two things, a tender medium bone-in rib-eye steak and the sweet taste of my wife's pussy. By nightfall, I would have devoured both.
I've got plans for you tonight, woman.
“What, Darius?” she asked, smiling at me with her curious brown eyes on high beam.
“You watch the road, Ladycat. I'll watch my⦔ I mouthed the word “pussy” so my son wouldn't hear.
My son chimed in. “Watch your what, Daddy? I'll help you.”
“My man, what did I tell you about grown folks' convo?”
“Sorry, Daddy.”
“You're up to something,” my wife said, staring ahead. “I know that look.”
“I'll tell you in a few.” I had to savor what I was about to say and do for my wife. I wasn't good at prolonging surprises. If she asked again, I'd tell her. I stared out my window to avoid giving in to her.
Now I was really starving. Ready to sink my teeth into a tender juicy piece of USDA prime.
Tapping on my iPhone, I texted my secret to my teammate, K-9, along with a pic. Had to show and tell someone. He texted back, It's motherfuckers like you that make it hard for a single man like me to fuck for free. Congrats, D.
I didn't respond. I'd hit him back later.
I posted, Headed to BOA's with the Mrs. and my lil' man. Stay posted for pics. I included a link for the restaurant.
When a man had no interest in conquering new pussy, he was ready to tackle loving one woman. For once in my life, I was happy. I mean genuinely happy.
My mother, wife, and son were my world. My mother was my rock. My wife was my rib. My son kept me focused on what was most important in my lifeâ¦family.
My phone vibrated. It was Ashlee. “What's up?” I answered, knowing she was going to ask to see DJ. I didn't want to get into it with her, so I cut her off with, “Let me call you back,” and hung up.
“Who was that?” my wife asked.
I spelled the word visitation. Glancing over my shoulder, I winked at my son. He gave me an upward nod. That was his way of signaling he was good. I held my wife's hand, then became quiet. I loved her ass so much I felt that shit from my fingers all the way up in my chest.
She was the only woman who told me to my face when I was wrong. Sometimes she yelled at me but when her voice was barely above a whisper, or when she called me Darius Henry Jones, I stopped whatever the fuck I was doing and gave her my undivided attention.
“I get so caught up in your basketball games, I forget about her every other weekends. I'll do it after the Cleveland game. Baby, when you win MVP, you should tell your agent to look into trading you from Atlanta to LA,” my wife said. “This is your hometown.”
Aw, man. My lips curved to the side. “Nah, it's best we stay put for another year.” Moving wasn't a bad idea. Moving back to LA was a bad idea. I might give in and fuck one of these LA glamazons.
I asked my wife, “Why did I have to go there? I wish I'd never met her.”
I appreciated that my wife never emasculated me like my son's mother. Never understood why my son's mom verbally castrated me, then thought I'd ask to marry her ass. What dude in his right mind would volunteer to be humiliated twenty-four-seven? That was some backward bullshit thinking.
“Go where, Daddy? Who, Daddy?”
My wife tapped me on the thigh, shook her head, told me, “Don't say things like that,” then spoke to DJ. “Your dad was just thinking out loud.”
Some thought me to be arrogant, cocky, a shit talker, an asshole. Others thought of me as
the shit
. Regardless of their opinions, they didn't know me. My wife, she knew me.
“L
et me call you back,” Darius said, ending the call. And he wondered why I hated him. At times I wished he were dead. I wished they were both dead. Jay and Darius.
Dating Jay helped take my mind off my problems. Helped me to temporarily forget about Darius. Jay sexed me crazy just like Darius. If he hadn't left me for Tracy, I wouldn't have lied and said he'd raped me. Without Jay in my life, I had to go back to Darius. Why did the roads in my life keep leading me back to Darius? Maybe we were meant to be together.
I rolled out of bed, showered, dabbed The One perfume by Dolce & Gabbana behind my ears, put a little inside my navel, and trailed a line between my breasts. I put on my black catsuit and my black fur-collared button-up fitted sweater. Zipped up my thigh-high boots. I fingered my natural hair creating wide waves that flowed over my shoulders. Put on my cherry dick-sucking lipstick that men couldn't resist.
My cell phone rang. Hoping it was Darius calling me back, I glanced at the caller ID. It was Bambi.
As I locked my front door, I answered, “I'm not selling my tickets to see Darius play in Cleveland next week.”
She laughed. “Hey, Ashlee. Trust me, I understand. I've got tickets for that game but I get that a lot now that I'm Jada's
personal
assistant.”
Whoa, wait a minute. Low self-esteemed, overweight all her life, unattractive Bambi was what? “You're Jada Diamond Tanner's
personal
assistant?”
“As in Darius's mother. That's me. You know I was Darius's number-one fan before you got knocked up.”
“And that would make me his son's mother for life. So why are you calling me? I haven't heard from you since high school.” Graduation was five years ago. When I told Bambi I was pregnant with Darius's baby, she cursed me like he was her husband.
I guess Jada felt sorry for Bambi the way I had. I was Bambi's only friend in elementary and junior high. She was the only obese girl in our elementary school. She'd gained more weight in middle school. By the time we were seniors, Bambi was close to weighing three hundred pounds.
Bambi was infatuated with Darius since we were six years old. Told me her parents were to blame for her obesity because they'd started overfeeding her at birth. She hated her parents. Whatever. If she was still fat, she couldn't use that excuse.
“You gained any weight? Darius probably didn't recognize you when he saw you, huh?”
“Did you take your medication today? Darius knows but he hasn't seen the new me yet. Now that I'm closer to Darius than you are, are you jealous?”
Okay, Bambi was officially my enemy. She was never smarter or prettier than me. She had called to get all up in my business and steal Darius from me. I wanted to curse her out but she wasn't worth it. The only place Darius would sex her was in her dreams.
I tossed my purse on the passenger seat, got in my Benz, started the engine.
“Listen, Ashlee. I'm in LA with Jada and Darius. Jada invited me to a movie premiere tonight so I don't have much time for you. Jada asked me to call and confirm your address so she can send you an invitation to her wedding.”
Jada was getting married a third time and I hadn't been married once. No way. “You're lying. Jada would never hire you. What are you up to?”
“You want an invite or what?”
“I'm good.” Jada already had my address. “Don't put me on any list of yours. By the way, how're your parents?”
“Dead,” she said, then ended the call.