Authors: Mary B. Morrison
“Y
ou are a king,” Lori said as she looked into my eyes.
I knew I was “the man” but no woman had told me I was a king before.
“To whom much is given, much is required. You've taken a lot from lots of people but haven't given much in return. That's why your life is out of synch. You can't undo your past but you can control your destiny. Start paying it forward. Start a nonprofit in your name. You have the resources to help those less fortunate than you. It's my responsibility to give you the book. The rest is up to you. You know the saying. âIf you want to keep getting what you're gettingâ'”
“I know, âkeep doing what I'm doing.'”
“And one last thingâget rid of your bad vibes. Cut your locs. Give yourself a fresh start.”
I downed my double shot of wheatgrass. “Thanks, Lori,” I said, clenching the book under my arm and my smoothie in my hand. Could this book really change my life? I put the book and my pizza in the car, went next door to the barbershop. I desperately wanted a new beginning. I sat in the chair. “Let's do this. Cut 'em off.”
Dude didn't ask no questions. He talked nonstop until he'd cut my last loc. I collected each loc, put them all in a Ziploc bag. Let him line me up, paid and got outta there. Headed down the strip mall in search of a Yankees cap, made my way back to my car. I felt free at last.
Driving to Mom's, I said aloud, “It couldn't hurt to read this here joint.”
I parked in Mom's driveway, cracked the spine. I scanned the table of contents. My eyes stopped on, “Fear of Failing” and “Chakras, Our Energy Centers.” “Wow.” I let myself in. “Ma! Where are you?”
“In my office,” she called out. “Come here, sweetie.”
I dashed in the kitchen, poured a glass of cranberry juice for my mom. Grabbed the container for myself so I could wash down that thick smoothie. Found mom in her office.
“Sit,” she said, smiling. “What are you reading?”
I set her glass on a coaster away from her laptop. “Nothing, yet. Stopped by Smiley's. Picked up this book. Lori Carter said it would help me to center myself. Figured I needed clarity in my life. You should read it with me.”
Mom took the book, flipped it over, read the back. She flipped through the pages, stopped at the back, scanned the table of contents, read the title, “Hmm.
Just Cause I: Moving from a Mundane Existence Into a Deliberate Wholeness
, by Shannette Slaughter. Never heard of her but looks like a thought-provoking read. If I'd known you were going to Smiley's, I would've had you bring me a smoothie and some wheatgrass.”
Mom loved that stuff, got me hooked on it too. Although I felt like I was at my lowest point, couldn't go any lower, being at Mom's house made me feel better. Hearing Ciara and Maxine's mother tell me the truth about myself hit me in my gut. There was no way I could ignore what they'd told me.
How would I have felt if Maxine was my daughter and she'd contracted HIV? Or if a man pushed my pregnant daughter down, made her hit her head, then left her for dead? I thought about how I'd treated Heather, Miranda, Ginger, Zen, Ashlee, the woman who'd sucked my dick the other night.
“Ma, you haven't said anything about my hair.”
“I love it. I can see your face. You look happier. Any regrets?” she asked.
“Not a one.”
I
'd taken
Just Cause I
from Lori to learn more about myself. Did having money all my life make me arrogant? Why had I treated women so badly? The worst part was, it never dawned on me how heartless I was, until recently. I wanted to change. I never wanted to hurt another female that bad. Now those niggas on the court, they had royal ass whippings coming from me. I couldn't wait to get back to basketball.
Ma said, “I've got great news. But first, how's Fancy?”
I reclined on Ma's chaise, put my hands behind my head, crossed my legs. “She's cool. I guess. I dropped her off at home yesterday. Haven't seen her since.”
“You left her by herself?”
“Ma, she's not home. Her mother is at our house but my wife isn't home. Trust me, with her bad attitude, she's fine. Give me the great news, Ma.”
Saw a tweet from my boy Christopher Henderson. Celebrating my Grammy nom with fam and friends 2nite at GLC at the BC. Come through.
Posted to my Facebook profile, Congrats, Chris. B there round 6.
“Can you put down that iPhone long enough to hear what I have to say?”
“Sorry, Ma.” I put my phone in my lap, stared at my mom.
My mom's eyes lit up. Hadn't seen that in a while. Felt good. She said, “I got all the pics of that night from Sapphire.”
“So. What difference does that make? The media already has the pictures posted everywhere. That's old news.” I sat up, moved closer to my mother. Officer Lawrence Austin's card was on her desk.
“But they don't have the legal right to continue airing them or what happened. They have no proof. You have no charges. And the woman involved, I found her. All she wants is an apology from you.”
“I'm good at that. So this dude helped you,” I said, picking up the card.
Mom smiled. Felt good to see a genuine smile lighting up her face.
“You could say that. We're going out.”
“As in on a date?” I asked. “You're going out with a police officer? Really?”
“Really,” she said. “It's a first but he might be fun. And he's definitely a better choice than my hiring Bambi.”
She wasn't lying about that. I had too much going on. Mom was right. I was going to let the police do their job and pray they found that crazy chick.
“Ma, I called Ciara and apologized to her. She gave a million reasons why she'd never forgive me. Called Maxine.” I paused. Didn't want to get into a conversation about Maxine's death.
“Tell me the truth. Am I that bad of a person, Ma?”
“H
oney, let me make our reservations to go home,” Grant said. Home? “And where exactly is that?” I asked him, breast-feeding Luke. Ms. Waters had shown the best hospitality but Grant was right. The time for us to make arrangements to leave was now.
I inserted my pinky finger into Luke's mouth, broke his suction. His mouth repeatedly opened. Realizing my titty was not there, he frowned. His face turned red.
Grant laughed. “You'd better hurry up.”
“He's so greedy. He sucks in my titty soon as he feels it. Let him cry. That way I can put my nipple and areola in his mouth properly this time. His greedy behind is not jacking up my breasts.” I placed my pointing and middle fingers at the top and bottom of my areola, then eased my nipple directly into Luke's gapped mouth.
Knock. Knock.
“It's Sapphire. I know y'all not in there fucking. Open the door.”
I opened the door. Sapphire handed me two large gift boxes. I motioned for her to sit the boxes on the coffee table, then said, “You are so crazy. I love you. Come in.” When appropriate, I'd decided to replace my “thank you” with “I love you” as a constant reminder to let those closest to me know how I felt about them.
“I'm not coming in for long. Hi, Grant,” she said, standing in the doorway waving. “When are you leaving Velvet's and heading back to Atlanta?”
I answered, “We were just having that conversation. In a few days, a week tops. I'm ready to sleep in my bed.”
Losing my boys for a few days made me appreciate how precious life was. If I couldn't help someone, I wouldn't hurt them.
Sapphire hugged me, then said, “Be at Jada's house tomorrow morning at ten. We have to watch the surveillance tapes with Officer Austin. Just in case he needs additional information for this Bambi chick, give it three days before you leave LA. I'm heading out in about a week. Maybe sooner. Gotta get back to my husband. I'm overdue for a tune-up on this pussy.”
Grant and I both laughed. “I second that,” I told her.
Having my boys was a blessing but I'd been without dick for too long. I gazed into Sapphire's eyes. Told her, “I can never repay you.” Being a detective would always be in Sapphire's blood. Every time she tried to quit, something else happened. First she helped Velvet, then her own mom, now me.
“Baâ” I stopped speaking. Grant's frozen expression interrupted my thoughts.
Nervously, he asked Sapphire, “Will Bambi be there?”
“We wish. No,” Sapphire said. “They haven't caught her yet but that's one of the reasons we're meeting tomorrow. Honey, that boy has fallen asleep with your titty in his mouth. Carry on.”
I closed, then locked the door. Stared at Grant. “Don't embarrass me in a room full of people. You might as well tell me now and tell me the whole truth.”
“What?”
“Your face tightens whenever that woman's name is mentioned. Don't you think you've hurt me enough? Tell me now.” I peeped inside the two decorative boxes. Sapphire had bought me two outfits.
Thank goodness no more wearing maternity clothes.
“There's nothing to tell. I promise you I don't know her. So you're going to let me make our reservations to leave in three days?” he asked.
I wanted to cry. I knew he was lying to my face while his was straight. I stood in the center of the floor praying he'd told me the truth. Grant had a place in Rosewell and D.C., my house was in Buck-head. All of my former escort girls lived with me in Atlanta. I couldn't wait to show them the twins, especially my play-sister Onyx. My girls had become my family.
If Grant had told the truth, we could've stayed with him. I was taking the boys to my house. If for any reason things didn't work out between Grant and I, I wasn't packing up belongings for four people. I'd told my mom she could stay a few weeks and help with the boys but I wasn't leaving her or anyone alone with my kids.
“Will you please trust me to make our reservations?” Grant asked.
“Sure.” Wasn't like I couldn't change the reservations if I didn't agree with his decision. I burped Luke, then lay him in the middle of the bed next to London.
“Honey, come sit on the sofa beside me.”
I looked at Grant. He was so fine and still the only man I'd ever loved. I sat next to him, kept my eyes on the boys. I'd decided I didn't want to change my name back to Lace. Honey suited me. Inside, I knew who I was.
Grant held my hand. “I'm so sorry for all the things I've done to hurt you. I never want to hurt you again. I don't want any surprises. Truth isâ”
Defensively, I said, “What?” I felt a confession coming on. I knew he knew more about that Bambi woman than he'd told me.
G
rant said, “Truth is, I want to take you and our boys to D.C. to meet my parents. The right way this time,” he said. Softly Grant kissed my lips. “You are so beautiful.”
I became quiet. He knew what he wanted but what did I want? Did I want to meet his parents? Would they accept me? Would they judge me? Would they welcome my boys as their grandchildren but reject me? “I'm not sure I'm ready to meet your parents. Why don't we wait a few months?”
“I don't want to wait,” Grant said, French kissing me. His tongue danced in my mouth. I sucked his tongue, put my tongue in his mouth. We alternated for a few minutes. I was so hungry for this man breast milk leaked from my nipples.
Grant touched my pussy. I know he wasn't trying to get me to make love to him. Backing away from his tongue and moving his hand, I told him, “Six weeks for that.”
He shook his head, laughed. His large white teeth were perfectly aligned, breath fresh. His caramel kiss tasted so sweet. I wanted his dick inside me. I rattled my head, dried the milk streaming down to my stomach. I hoped our boys would have perfect teeth too. Didn't want to make a bunch of trips to a dentist for braces for two kids.
“That's not what I had on my mind but since you brought it up, does that include oral sex? I can give you a pussy massage, if you'd like.”
“What is it that you don't want to wait for? I'll suck your dick later.” I would. My pussy had stitches not my mouth. And he was right. There were other ways we could pleasure one another until the doctor said it was okay to have sex. I was not going to be one of those women who went back for their six week checkup and found out they were pregnant again. I was happy with two boys. Should've had my tubes tied.
Grant knelt before me, held my hand. “Honey, I love you with all my heart.”
I sniffed, blinked back tears. The sincerity of his words penetrated my heart.
“I don't want to wait to ask and I don't want to take you home to my parents as my babies' mama. Honey, will you marry me?” His face was so innocent, his heart vulnerable.
I didn't want to raise our boys alone. Didn't want to be a single mom. I didn't want to live my life without Grant. We'd been through a lot. And this was the only man I ever wanted to be “in love” with. I deserved love. Deserved to be loved. I looked at my boys on the bed, then looked at Grant.
I knew he hadn't had time to buy a ring. And although we were both millionaires, I didn't need a ring to prove to the world I had a man or a husband. I only had to prove to him, and him to me, that the love in our hearts would bond us through the toughest times and unite us during our best of times.
“Yes, Grant Hill, I will marry you.”
T
his time Darius, Fancy, Sapphire, Grant, Honey, Rita, Ashlee, and Officer Lawrence Austin gathered in my entertainment room to review the surveillance footage from the hospital, BOA Steakhouse, and CUT. Ashlee had flown in again at my request but this time she was not going to take DJ.
Another Lawrence had entered my life. I admired him. Sacrificing his life on a daily basis to keep our city safe. He loved his job and I was enjoying getting to know him.
“Make yourselves comfortable,” I said. “There's plenty to eat and drink, help yourselves. Ashlee, you come sit by me.” I had to stay close to her, keep her away from Fancy and Darius. Ashlee didn't know but Fancy's mother, Caroline, was upstairs in my guest bedroom watching DJ.
Officer Austin was a real gentleman. I'd take my time before sexing the man behind the uniform. I'd gotten vaginal estrogen pills to help lubricate my vagina. Didn't want to relive the shredded wheat episode that I'd had with Grant. I chuckled inside. My pussy was on the pill. Wasn't falling in love or lust. Well, that wasn't completely true. The womanly side of me craved Lawrence's body. I'd fantasized about ripping that uniform off him, handcuffing him to my bedpost, then masturbating while making him watch. Then I'd give him the best blow job before taking off the cuffs.
“Thanks for coming. For those of you who haven't met me, my name is Officer Lawrence Austin,” he said, handing out his business cards. “I know each of you have survived hardships, some more tragic than others. Let's all pray watching these tapes today will help us find Bambi and keep her from harming anyone else.”
Next time I hired a personal assistant I was doing a background check to the background check. Bambi could've killed all of us if she wanted to.
Ashlee blurted, “Darius, where's my son? I know you got DJ. That bitch went to my mother's house and stole my child. Officer, arrest her.” Ashlee pointed at Fancy.
What I'd learned this past week was innocent people could easily end up behind bars. I didn't believe Jay Crawford raped Ashlee. It was paramount that witnesses did not casually identify individuals as criminals. And it was equally important that I never put myself in a situation to be victimized. If I hadn't chased behind Grant, I wouldn't have been arrested for kidnapping or trespassing. I was thankful I didn't stay in that hellhole overnight. Moving forward, I wouldn't quickly judge anyone.
I looked at Lawrence. He said to Ashlee, “Miss, you're going to have to cooperate or I will have to ask you to leave,” then said to the group, “If any of you recognize Bambi in any of these clips say, âThat's Bambi' and I'll make a note of it.”
Before he started the video, I asked, “Any updates on Bambi's warrants?”
“Bambi is a chameleon. She's clever. Like Ms. Rita St. Thomas said, the officers confirmed two coffins were in her parents' bedroom.” He nodded, then continued, “Her mom was in one and skeletal remains were found washed up on the shore by her home. We believe it's her father's remains. But Bambi is nowhere to be found. Yet.”
I looked at my son. My heart smiled. I did like his haircut.
When Ashlee didn't move, Officer Austin dimmed the lights and started the first clip. Fancy's new heart-shaped engagement ring with pear-shaped diamonds on both sides sparkled in the dimly lit room. After Fancy realized her ring was missing, I told my son to order a duplicate. No telling where Fancy's ring was and, even if it was found, I told Darius, “If one person tried on your wife's ring, she doesn't need that energy on her finger.” I was proud of Darius. I'd seen personal growth within my son already. His spirit was calmer. He was considerate of others' feelings and opinions.
The clip of the nurse taking the twins from Valentino played. Ashlee, Rita, and I said at the same time, “That's Bambi.” I knew someone was missing. Where was Valentino?
When the clip of a nurse entering Fancy's room then leaving with a teal bag played from my projector, Ashlee and Rita said, “That's Bambi.”
Next we saw the woman seated at the bar at BOA. Ashlee and Rita said, “That's Bambi.”
When the video from CUT played, Rita, Ashlee, and I said, “That's Bambi.”
Honey gasped, then asked, “Grant? You lied to me?”
Grant said, “No, I didn't,” but the longer the clip played the angrier Honey became. We all watched Grant open the door to a hotel room that Bambi entered. He carried a tray with two martinis.
Honey said, “So happy hour was in my room? I asked you to go get my things and you're in my room fucking Bambi?”
Grant remained silent. We watched as, a half hour later, the door opened and Bambi left but Grant didn't leave with her. Honey stood.
Sapphire said, “Sit down, Honey. You can deal with Grant later. This is about Officer Austin finding the woman who stole your babies.”
Four hours later, after the video viewing ended, we all seemed mentally exhausted. Grant followed Honey out of my house.
Yeah, take it outside,
I thought. Better her than me. For real. I was glad Honey didn't start fighting in my house. Sapphire thanked Officer Austin and then left. Had a feeling she had to save Grant from Honey.
I hope Honey choke him good.