Darius (Starkis Family #5) (23 page)

“We’ve already quit our jobs. We have to go now.”

“Yeah, but Darius will be reopening the club in a couple of months. We can find waitressing jobs until then.”

“Darius doesn’t want me to stay.” Admitting that aloud felt like a knife piercing my chest, but I had to face facts. “The only time I’ve heard from him was when he texted to ask when we’d be leaving. He wants his keys back.”

“Which means he’ll be here soon,” Daphne said, checking her watch. “You should talk to him, tell him how you feel about him. Could be he feels the same way about you.”

“A guy doesn’t let the woman he loves walk out of his life.” At least a guy like Darius wouldn’t. He was a fighter, the kind of man who wouldn’t give up until he got what he wanted.
So he clearly doesn’t want me.

“I think you’re making a lot of assumptions,” Daphne said, curling her arm around my shoulder. “This may be your last chance to see him and tell him how you feel. Don’t waste it just because you’re scared.”

“I’m not scared.”

“Yeah, right.” Daphne rolled her eyes. “You’ve been living your life in this safe little bubble ever since Shaun died, keeping your distance from any guy who interests you because you were afraid of getting your heart broken again.”

“Yeah, and look at me now, sitting here with a broken heart.” I’d thought losing Shaun had destroyed me, but knowing Darius was willing to write me off so easily hurt even more.

When someone knocked on the door, Daphne said, “Oh, that must be him. We have a few hours before we have to catch our flight. I’m going to go check on Maria at her hotel, make sure she doesn’t need anything.”

“Are you sure she’s okay with the service we set her up with?” I hated leaving her high and dry. She was the closest thing to a grandmother I’d ever had, and I felt responsible for her.

“She’ll be fine,” Daphne said, patting my hand. “You just worry about making things right with your man.”

“He’s not my ma—” I stopped mid-sentence when Daphne opened the door to Darius. God, he looked even more gorgeous than the last time I’d seen him.

Daphne kissed his cheek before passing him her key. “I can’t thank you enough for letting us crash here. It’s been great.”

“My pleasure.” Darius looked at me over Daphne’s shoulder, smiling. “You girls about ready to go? Need any help packing?”

I stood, gesturing toward the suitcases by the door. “Nope. That’s all we’ll need for now.”

“I’m going to give you guys some time,” Daphne said, squeezing Darius’s hand as she walked past him. “I want to check on Maria anyhow.”

“I went to see her yesterday,” Darius said. “I told her if she needed anything to call me.”

If I hadn’t been head over heels in love with this guy before, I would have been now. He barely knew Maria, yet he was willing to step up and help take care of her because she was important to me, or he felt bad for her. Either way, it was more proof I didn’t need that he was a stand-up guy.

“That was nice of you,” I said as Darius turned to watch Daphne step onto the elevator.

“What’s that?” he asked. “Offering to help Maria? She’s a sweet old lady. Why wouldn’t I want to help her if I can?”

“You’re a good man, Darius.” I reached for his hands. “I’m really going to miss you.” That was as honest as I could be without falling apart.

“You may not have to miss me.”

My heart pounded as I prayed he was saying what I thought he was. He didn’t want me to go. “What do you mean?”

“Maybe we can keep in touch?”

“Oh.” I tried to keep the disappointment out of my voice. “Yeah, sure. That would be nice.” I turned my back on him, hoping he wouldn’t see the tears gathering in my eyes.

He curled his hands around my shoulders, leaning down to whisper in my ear, “You don’t have to do this, you know. If it isn’t what you want…”

That wasn’t the same as saying it wasn’t what he wanted. “It’ll be an adjustment.” I cleared my throat as I broke the contact I desperately craved. I loved the feel of his hands on me, but a friendly, supportive touch was worse than no contact at all. “But we’ll get used to it. In the long run, I think it’ll be for the best. For both of us.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Both of us meaning you and Daphne or you and me?”

How was I supposed to answer that without making him feel guilty for not wanting me as much as I wanted him? “Better for everyone, I guess.”

“Cat tells me you and she have decided to keep in touch.”

I couldn’t help but smile when I thought of Darius’s quirky sister. She’d called me as soon as she heard about my move, demanding to know whether I’d lost my mind. I was living in one of the fashion meccas of the world according to Catia. A girl just didn’t leave that behind without some serious consideration.

“Yeah. We’ve talked and texted a few times. I hope it won’t be weird for you if we stay in touch.”

“Not at all.” He smiled as he kissed my hand. “In fact, I was hoping we could stay in touch too.”

“Really?” I cursed my eagerness. He was just being polite. Sort of like running into an old friend and suggesting you do lunch when you knew neither one would ever find the time or inclination to make it a priority. “Uh sure, that would be great. If you think you’ll have the time.”

“I’ll always make time for you.” He stroked my cheek, making me want to whimper. “You have to know this isn’t easy for me.”

Finally, we were getting somewhere. “It isn’t easy for me either. You mean a lot to me, Darius.”

“But you have to pursue this.” He released my hand, drawing a deep breath. “If you don’t, you’ll always wonder what might have been. I wouldn’t want you to have any regrets.”

That was why he was letting me go, because he didn’t want me to resent him or our relationship? That was crazy! “And if I wanted to stay here to be with you…?”

“I don’t think I could let you.” He smirked when my jaw dropped. “You need to do this. Just know that if you ever change your mind and decide this is where you belong, I’ll be right here waiting for you.”

As sweet as that sentiment was, men like Darius Starkis didn’t just sit around waiting for girls like me to come to their senses. “Maybe it’s not too late to call Nate and tell him—”

He silenced me with a kiss, my very favorite way of being told to shut the hell up.

“It’s too late to back out now, Chels. And not just because the wheels are already in motion. If you come back here, to me, I need to know it’s because you’ve left your past behind you.”

“You’re talking about Shaun, aren’t you?” If I had one regret, it was showing him that letter.

“Yeah, I guess I am. You were married to him. You two shared dreams for the future. This club you’re opening with his brother is one of them. Only you can decide if it’s still
your
dream, one that you want to bring to fruition in his memory.”

I didn’t know how he could be so calm while his words made me feel as if I was shattering like glass.

“If and when you come back to me, I need to know that you’ve left your past behind. I’m not asking you to forget Shaun or pretend you didn’t love him. But if you come back, I need to know it’s because you love me in a way that’s…” He rubbed his chest as though the words hurt his heart as much as they hurt mine. “Mine. All mine.”

I pulled him into my arms. He was crazy if he didn’t see that I already loved him in a way that was different than the way I’d loved Shaun. I’d loved Shaun the way a girl loves her first love, not the way a mature woman loves the man she wants to spend her life with. Because Shaun had been my first, my love for him may have been immature, based on neediness more than anything else.

“You have no idea how much you already mean to me,” I whispered.

“Then that will only intensify if we’re apart,” he whispered back, brushing my hair back. “Time apart will help us both figure out for sure whether what we have is real. If it’s not, I wouldn’t want you to sacrifice your dream for me.”

I knew he was right. He was being the mature one, taking care of me even though I swore I could take care of myself. “If that’s the way you want it.”

He framed my face with his hands, looking intently into my eyes. “It’s not the way I want it. It’s the way it has to be.”

I kissed him and savored the taste of his lips, wondering if it would be the last time while praying it wouldn’t be.

***

Nate’s enthusiasm as he walked us around the building he’d bought should have been infectious, but my heart and mind were still back in New York with Darius. I didn’t know how long it would take for me to be fully present here.

“Are you okay?” Nate asked, nudging my shoulder with his. “You seem kind of distracted.”

I tried to laugh as I rubbed my forehead with my fingertips. “Yeah, I guess I’m just a little tired. I haven’t been sleeping all that well. Must be the excitement.”

“On that note,” Daphne said. “Why don’t I run to that café I spotted around the corner and grab us all some coffee?”

“That would be great,” I said, smiling at her. “You’re a lifesaver.” She knew that after my conversation with Darius, I’d been questioning whether to get on the plane long after they’d instructed us to fasten our seat belts for takeoff.

“She’s something else, isn’t she?” Nate asked, watching Daphne walk out the door.

Nate had a thing for my best friend? How had I missed that? They’d met several times when he came to visit Shaun at the club, but I’d had no idea he was attracted to her. I wondered whether he had assumed Daphne and I were a package deal and that was part of the reason he’d made me the offer.

“She sure is.” I struggled with the best way to pose the question and decided the direct approach was best. “You like her?”

He turned his attention back to me, looking confused. “Sure, I like her. Why?”

“No, I mean do you like-like her?”

His cheeks flushed while he tried to hide his smile. “That obvious, huh?”

“You could say that.” I curled my hand around his forearm. “I love Daphne like a sister, but you may want to be careful. I’m not sure she’s ready for anything serious right now.” While Daphne claimed she was just testing the market while waiting for the man of her dreams to show up, I knew she loved all the attention she got from the opposite sex.

He shrugged. “Whatever happens happens. No expectations. I just figured since we’re going to be working together now, and living across the hall from each other, it was a possibility. Has she ever said anything to you about me?”

I walked around the open empty space, trying to visualize it the way Nate had described, filled with furniture and patrons having a good time. “I know she thinks you’re cute and nice.”

He frowned. “Not what a guy wants to hear.”

I laughed. “Sorry. What would you prefer? Hot? Sexy?”

“That would be better,” he agreed, grinning.

There were still moments, especially when he smiled, when I felt a little breathless. It was like looking at Shaun, but Nate wasn’t my husband. Though they were similar in many ways, Nate was fun and spontaneous while Shaun had been darker, more brooding. Except when he was on stage.

“What are you thinking?” he asked, his smile faltering.

“It’s hard not to think about Shaun when I look at you,” I admitted, feeling guilty for mentioning the brother he’d loved and lost when we were supposed to be celebrating and looking forward to the future. “Sorry.”

“Hey, that’s okay. I get it. Shaun’s never far from my mind either.” He hesitated before he asked, “Your boyfriend, how did he take the news you were leaving?”

I felt weird talking to my former brother-in-law about the new man in my life, but it was a fair question and he had every right to be curious. “He understood.” I tried to distract myself by imagining the stage the contractors would start building tomorrow. “He’s very supportive.”

“Does that mean you’re going to try to make the long-distance thing work?”

After my conversation with Darius, I wasn’t sure what the expectation was, but I was hopeful. “I guess we’ll just have to play that by ear. He’s a busy guy, so I’m not sure how often we’d be able to see each other even if we wanted to try.”

“Any regrets?”

I turned to face Nate. “About coming here?”
The truth,
my inner voice warned.
He deserves the truth.
“Um, I’m still trying to sort out my feelings. I hated leaving Darius and all my friends, but this is something I’ve always wanted. If I hadn’t given it a chance, I may have always regretted it.”

“I had my lawyer draw up a partnership agreement,” Nate said hesitantly. “Are you ready to sign it?”

No!
“Could we hold off on that for a bit? Kind of test things out first? I have no doubt you can make a success of this on your own, and I’ll do my best to help you put together a great team.”

“But?”

“Since it’s your investment, I’d rather wait to see whether I can contribute something of lasting value before I decide whether this is where I belong. Does that make sense?”

He opened his arms. “I love you for wanting to try,” he said, stroking my hair. “Just the fact that you’d uproot your life to do this proves how much Shaun meant to you. Not that you had to prove anything to me. I already knew.”

“He did mean the world to me,” I said, tipping my head back to look him in the eye. Those piercing green eyes, exactly the same shade as his brother’s, nearly did me in. “I’ll never ever forget him. But I do feel it’s time for me to let him go.”

“And you’re not sure if you can do that here, working with me?”

“I’m not sure of anything right now. I’m just really confused.”

He stepped back, looking pensive as he stroked the stubble on his chin. “How about we agree to a trial? You can help me find the right staff and get things up and running. I’ll pay you a salary, and you can have the apartment rent-free. After that, you decide if this is what you want. If it isn’t, you can walk away, no hard feelings.”

“Two months?” I asked, thinking about Darius’s club and the grand reopening he had planned. “Does that sound reasonable?”

“Perfect.”

Two short months.
By then I should know for sure where I belonged.