To her dismay, she discovered no one was in any hurry to leave. Instead, she was parked on a hard bench while they paced, waiting to see what the jury would decide.
When it was eventually announced that the jury hadn’t reached a conclusion and deliberation would continue the following day, they finally trooped down to the sub and she was allowed the retreat she’d been hoping for for hours.
No one seemed inclined to talk, but Anna was so focused on her own anxiety, she barely noticed and when she did she figured they were as on edge with the waiting as she was. Tension was certainly high in all of them due to their doubts about the verdict. She began to get an inkling that they weren’t exactly happy with her after the second day of waiting for the jury to decide, though. By the third, she was positive that they weren’t just on edge about the verdict. They were coolly distant—to her. It was her they weren’t talking to. They were introspective. They didn’t seem inclined toward idle conversation at all, but were definitely going out of their way to avoid talking to her—to avoid her period.
As soon as she noticed that, she began to wonder why. Try though she might, however, she couldn’t think of anything she’d said or done that would explain the way they were behaving. It wasn’t anger, exactly, but she was definitely getting the cold shoulder.
The discovery diverted her almost completely from the wait for the verdict in the trial. She’d been looking forward to a conviction because her father needed to be removed from society where he could cause no more harm. She’d also been looking forward to it, though, because she’d been certain that that was all that stood between her and what she’d realized she desperately wanted—the romantic relationship the lawyer had accused her of.
She lusted over them. She had from the first and she would’ve been willing to settle for being their lover if she hadn’t begun to feel like they wanted more than that.
Once that seed had taken root, she couldn’t ignore or dismiss it and after a very little while of considering it she hadn’t wanted to.
It was what she wanted. She was positive. She still thought it was scary living in the sea. She still worried that a relationship and children would severely restrict her goals as a scientist. She still wasn’t used to their customs. She still harbored a lot of doubts about managing to function in a household so different from anything she’d ever known, let alone being able to provide them with what they needed and expected from her, but she knew she wanted to try. She knew what she felt was more than desire for four very attractive men. She respected and admired them for who and what they were and because she did, she’d begun to care for them too much to allow any obstacle, real or imagined, to stand between her and what she wanted.
She just didn’t know how to handle the one she’d run smack in to that seemed to have sprung up out of nowhere. She was angry and afraid and the outcome was too important to her to blunder blindly through the maze.
Were they waiting for her to ask them, she wondered? Were they angry because she hadn’t made the first move and suggested they stay together?
That didn’t seem to fit in with their customs, but then again nothing about her situation did. She hadn’t decided to come. She hadn’t chosen to announce her intentions by placing herself on the marriage market.
Should she do that, she wondered? The idea unnerved the hell out of her, though.
She knew if she did that, that anyone who had no woman and was interested could bid.
What if nobody did? Wouldn’t that be the most humiliating thing imaginable?
What if a
lot
of men did, but the ones she wanted didn’t?
She didn’t have to take anyone only because they’d bid, but it was almost as disturbing to think of having to turn them away as it was to think nobody might offer.
She couldn’t do that. She thought she would get used to most of their customs in time—just not that one.
Should she risk rejection and total humiliation and inform them that she’d decided they suited her and she wanted to play house permanently? Pitch a screaming fit and demand to know why everybody was suddenly acting like she was a leper when they’d been behaving before as if they were just
waiting the chance to jump her?
Had she been completely wrong about everything? Concluded all the things she had because it was what
she wanted, not anything they’d hinted at?
Caleb had hinted at it, though, hadn’t he? What else could he have meant? She’d been so certain that it was only their anxiety about the trial that was holding them back and, as soon as it was over, things would change.
Well, they had and it wasn’t even over yet, just not the way she’d expected or hoped!
If they’d just give her a
hint of what was bothering them, damn it, she might have some chance of working through it! She couldn’t seem to work up the nerve to bring the situation to a head, though, to demand what she’d been tried and convicted of. She was too afraid she wouldn’t be able to talk her way through it and she’d lose. Even when an opportunity finally fell in her lap, it took all she could do to seize it.
She’d been heading toward the bathroom for a shower when she met up with Simon in the hall outside coming from the shower. It was one of those disconcerting moments when one meets up with a person one can’t seem to get past. They ‘waltzed’ matching each other move for move as they approached until they deadlocked in the middle of the hall and stared at each other with a mixture of annoyance and embarrassment.
Simon had already begun to step aside to let her pass when it hit her that they were completely alone in that part of the house, that she could at least reduce the discomfort level—hers—by trying to work things out one on one. She had, in fact, taken a step to block his retreat before she’d completely made up her mind that she wanted to.
His expression was so unwelcoming when she grasped his robe that she almost lost her nerve altogether. “Why?” she managed to ask when he glanced from her hand to her face.
Something flickered in his eyes. “Why?”
He looked so completely unapproachable then that she did lose her nerve.
Casting around in her mind a little frantically, she finally remembered something else she’d wanted to ask him.
She swallowed with an effort. “I never understood why you told me you were sorry that day,” she said shakily.
She could see his brief search for the memory in his eyes.
“At my father’s island when you kissed me?”
His gaze flickered to her mouth and then back to her eyes. To her surprise some of the tension and anger seemed to leave him. “I realized I’d misjudged you,” he said slowly.
She hadn’t expected that. It threw her into turmoil. Gladness flickered through her and yet what could she do with it? How did it help her now?
Not at all. She released her hold on him, looked away. “Oh.”
He touched her jaw, forcing her to look at him again. A jolt went through her when she found him waiting only for the turn of her head to cover her lips with his own and then a far more powerful one when she felt the heated pressure of his lips. She dragged in a shuddering breath as he parted her lips with the thrust of his tongue, afraid to move at all for fear he’d pull away. His leisurely exploration of her mouth was in stark contrast to the state of total disorder he’d thrown her into with his first touch. The moment his taste and scent invaded her, desperation exploded inside of her, a savage yearning that made her tremble with the effort to keep from grabbing him and demanding more, instantly.
Fear stabbed into her when she felt him shift and vanished when she felt his arms settle around her and tighten, bringing her closer. She curled her fingers into his robe, straining to pull herself closer still. She’d wanted this—him—forever it seemed.
Don’t stop
, she thought pleadingly.
Please don’t stop!
He broke the kiss almost on the thought and lifted his head. Disappointment filled her, so vast a sea of it that she felt the urge to cry.
“Anna.”
She opened her eyes with an effort to look at him. “Don’t stop, Simon, please?”
We can fight later!
His gaze flickered over her face. Without a word, he led her into her room. It flickered through her mind that he meant to shove her in and shut the door behind her.
Instead, he discarded his robe and pulled hers off.
Anna shivered as Simon explored her with his gaze and the light touch of his hand, fighting the urge to cover herself, searching his face anxiously to assure herself that he was satisfied with what he saw and touched. To her relief, he gathered her to him and carried her to the bed, urging her to lie down on it. She was almost sorry she had when she scrambled on to the mattress and sprawled out in wanton display. He merely stared at her for several moments. Just about the time she began to cave in, he joined her, stretching out along her side, caging her upper body between his arms and leaning down to pluck at the tender points of her breast with his lips.
No
, she screamed inwardly!
Give it to me! Now! Just fuck me! I don’t care if I come or not! I have to feel it!
She was too tense and anxious to come, she told herself. She just wanted to hold him inside of her, to wrap herself in him. That was what she wanted, needed desperately.
She nearly blacked out when he finally stopped teasing her nipples and sucked one into his mouth. Fire poured through her, arrowing toward her lower belly like a lightning bolt and making the muscles in her sex spasm frantically. She clamped her arms around his head, torn between the certainty that she couldn’t bear the intense sensations flowing through her and the fear that he’d stop.
She’d just decided she was going to melt into a puddle of sheer bliss when he released the nipple he’d been teasing and moved to its twin. The jolt to her system was harsher that time, sending her spiraling closer to unconsciousness, but it also narrowed her focus so tightly to the pull of his mouth and the electric current flowing from her breast to her womb that it was as if nothing else existed in the world.
“Simon,” she whispered, in awe, in disbelief that he was touching her, making love to her when she’d despaired that he ever would.
He lifted his head, studied her face for a long moment and moved upward. There was more hunger in the feel of his mouth, a hint of impatience that telegraphed through her mind and set her fires to blazing higher. She kissed him back, trying to communicate her desperation.
He broke from her lips and explored her face and throat, pebbled her skin with the heat of his breath on her ear and worked his way to her breasts again.
Torture me,
she thought a little wildly.
He did, exploring every patch of skin downward to her knees.
Not that
, she thought in despair when she felt him move her limp legs apart! If he touched her with his mouth there it was all going to be over for her and she’d decided she wanted to die from the torment he’d been inflicting on her.
She held her breath as she felt him bend toward her and bite lightly on the inside of her thighs.
Alright! That,
she changed her mind!
He pushed her thighs wider and moved over her, settling his hips between them.
She clutched at him, digging her fingers into his flesh. “Simon! Please!”
A faint tremor rippled along his big body. She felt the brush of his hand as he slid it between them and aligned his body with hers and then the pressure as he deepened the connection, eased and then pushed again.
Torture! The anticipation was killing her! She heaved against him, trying to envelop his flesh faster, but despite the fact that her body had diverted so much moisture for him that she felt like she was dehydrating, he stretched her so tautly with his girth there was no smooth, swift entry to be had—for either of them. He settled his upper chest against her, moving his hands to her hips to hold her with his next thrust. It broke the deadlock. He sheathed himself fully, and she panted with a mixture of relief and heady anticipation as he withdrew slowly and thrust again.
Simon
, she thought, summoning an image of his slow glide in and out of her. Her muscles clenched frantically around him in response and she felt her body burgeon toward release. She fought it. The feel of him was a sheer delight. She wanted to just hold him inside of her forever.
There was no battling the tide, though. It felt too good and her body could only contain so much pleasure and no more. It exploded all too soon in glorious waves of ecstasy that tore little gasps of delight from her and then, even as she hit her peak and drifted toward Earth again, she felt his climax. She tightened her arms around him, holding him closer, relishing the pleasure he found in her almost more than she’d enjoyed her own.
Reluctant to give up the moment, she stroked her hands over him, enjoying his solidness, the feel of his powerful muscles beneath her palms. Wariness surfaced when he finally stirred, the realization that they hadn’t settled anything.
She didn’t want to risk an argument, not now! She’d waited so long to feel his touch. She’d wanted it so much. She just wanted to enjoy it.
There was no more stopping the intrusion of the real world than there had been any possibility of staving off her pleasure to enjoy it longer. He rolled off of her, tucking her snugly against his length. She relaxed fractionally when he began to caress her with slow strokes of his hand but she realized fairly quickly that tension had begun to gather in him.
He was going to ask her … something, and whatever it was on his mind made him grow cool against her and stiff.
“Anna?”
“Mmm?” she murmured warily, wondering if she could avoid any possibility of a confrontation by feigning sleep.
“Will you …? Would you consider taking the change?”
Anna’s heart leapt from her chest and into her throat so fast she felt like she might choke to death. She’d already jerked away to stare at his face in disbelief when it abruptly hit her that she couldn’t—not right now. “Yes, but ….”
He scanned her face. “But?”
“I can’t right now. Later ….”
He leapt out of the bed so fast she didn’t know what had happened until she looked around and discovered he’d bent down to snatch his robe from the floor. She was still gaping at him in disbelief when he threw a furious, contemptuous scowl at her and stalked out.
She couldn’t
believe
he’d abandoned her without even giving her the chance to explain! “Wait!”
Scrambling from the bed, she grabbed her own robe and dashed after him. He was already at the top of the ladder when she reached the atrium. “Simon! Wait!”
He didn’t even look back. Anger surged through her, completely wiping out her reservations. Grasping a rung of the ladder, she climbed up behind him and stalked after him. She caught up with him in the living room. Caleb, Ian, and Joshua were sitting on the couches. When Simon turned to glare at her accusingly, they scowled at her equally accusingly. It might have wilted her resolution at any other time, but she was so angry it only made her angrier.
“I said I can’t right now!” she snapped. “I didn’t say I wouldn’t!”
“But you don’t actually have any intention of it, do you?” Simon snarled.
She gaped at him for a moment and glanced at the others. “This is about that damned paper I wrote, isn’t it?” she demanded as it finally clicked in her mind that they distrusted her. Simon was
sorry he’d misjudged her but he still didn’t trust her? He still believed, they obviously all still believed, that it bothered her that they were mutants!
“Did you even listen, damn it?”
“We heard,” Caleb said tightly. “Everybody heard.”
“I said I
couldn’t
make the change right now, not that I wouldn’t, not that I didn’t want to, damn it!”
“Why can’t you?” Simon demanded angrily.
“Because I never
once used birth control with any of you!” she snapped. She was about to inform them that she couldn’t because she could be pregnant. She revised it.
She didn’t know
why
the lie leapt to her mind, but it did, and it was out before she could rethink it. “I
can’t
because I’m pregnant, damn it! If I was the bigot you all seem to think I am, don’t you think I would’ve used birth control? Don’t you think I would’ve been worried you might get me pregnant? Instead of hoping you would?”
The dark scowls slid off their faces until they were all staring at her with blank, slack looks of stunned surprise.
“Who’s …? Who …?” Joshua managed after a moment, sounding like a hoot owl.
Guilt hit her for telling the lie. Even though she knew it could be true, hoped it was, she didn’t
know
that she was and worse, if she was, she didn’t know ‘Who? Who?’!
She folded her arms over her chest. “I don’t know ‘who-who’, damn it!” she snapped.
“But one of you
certainly did! And I didn’t hear anybody objecting to making a baby, so you can all just damned well take responsibility!”
The men all exchanged questioning looks and then turned to study her speculatively.
Simon cleared his throat uncomfortably. “I wouldn’t shirk my responsibility,” he said a little stiffly.
“I certainly wouldn’t,” Ian said.
“It’s settled then!” Caleb said, surging up from the couch. “We need to head down to the city hall and tie this up before she starts showing and everybody knows we were dipping without tying things up properly! Comb your hair, magpie. It’s standing on end. It wouldn’t do to show up at city hall to get married with you looking as if you’ve already had the honeymoon.”
Anna looked down at herself in dismay. She didn’t just look like she’d just had sex, she reeked of sex! She wasn’t about to say no, though! “I need a quick shower.”
“Make it a quick one. I’m going to get the sub and pull it into the airlock.”
Anna had had time to consider the possible consequences of her lie by the time she’d bathed, combed the tangles from her hair, and dressed. She spent the trip from the house to city hall wavering between the desperate need to confess and the fear that they’d turn back if she did. When they’d docked, she realized she simply couldn’t go through with it.
“Wait!”
They tensed and stopped to look at her.
“I don’t know for sure that I’m pregnant. I just know I could be. I was trying to explain that I had to know before I could take the change. I don’t want to risk losing the baby if it’s possible.”
They relaxed immediately. “Come on, magpie,” Ian murmured, his eyes gleaming with amusement. “Nobody’s going to let you back out now.”
“I don’t want to back out.”
They hadn’t even finished the brief ceremony when word came that the jury had finally arrived at a verdict. Simon advised the judge to finish up quickly. She could see they were anxious to leave right then, afraid they’d miss the announcement if they took the time to load her into the sub to get to the court house. “Go!” she told them as soon as the judge had finished. “You’ll miss it if you wait for me.”
As disappointed as she was to miss it herself, she decided it was worth it. They grabbed her, kissed her, and passed her down until she’d made the rounds and then took off. Shrugging at the look the judge sent her, she went to wait for them in the sub, feeling her emotions peaking and dipping as if she was on a roller coaster, afraid to let her mind settle too long on any particular thing—her hope that she was pregnant, that they’d gotten the verdict they wanted, that they were going to be able to work through their differences and make their life together work.
She knew they were satisfied with the verdict as soon as they returned. It looked as if they’d all dropped years with the release of tension.
“They convicted him,” Simon said with satisfaction at her questioning look.
“On what charges?” she asked breathlessly.
“All of them,” Caleb answered. “The prosecutor sends his regards, by the way.
He said he felt like your final testimony tilted the scales.”
“They recommended the death penalty,” Ian said somberly.
Anna felt her stomach fall from under her. She wrestled with it, but despite the momentary twinge of guilt that she might have been the instrument of her father’s death, she felt relief, too. She might never know if he’d had a hand in her mother’s death, but she felt like he had and she knew in her heart that he had certainly had a hand in the massacre in New Atlanta. If she’d had any doubts, at all, she wouldn’t have done everything she could to help convict him.
She smiled at them. “Let’s go home.”
Simon gathered her into his arms and slowly rocked her for a moment. “Anna,” he said hesitantly. “There may yet be war between the mutants and the humans. They hate us and its growing.”
She pulled away to look up at him, lifting her hand to cup his cheek. “I already chose my side. And we’re all human, whether they want to acknowledge it or not.
They spent their ‘honeymoon’ celebrating by finishing the remodeling on the new addition and, of course, thoroughly exploring each other. By the time the first blush of their union had begun to fade, there was no doubt that Anna was pregnant, but no one had brought up the subject of the change since anyway.
For her part, Anna was torn between excitement about the baby and disgust that she hadn’t taken the change before she’d gotten pregnant. It was really starting to chaff her that she couldn’t leave the house without the sub and the men came and went freely.
Of course, she had her greenhouse and lab to occupy her time, and the nursery she was preparing, and the men to occupy her time when they were home, but it was still irritating not to be able to simply walk out when she wanted to.
“I should take the change as soon as the baby’s born,” she told Simon as they lay together in the aftermath of their lovemaking.
He stroked her rounding belly restlessly. Nuzzling his face against her temple, he kissed her. “You don’t have anything to prove, magpie.”