Dark Heart Surrender (18 page)

‘I know that,’ she said, and her eyes seemed to sparkle, as though they were made of magic dust. ‘I’ve always known.’

‘What … ?’ I began, desperately trying to regain some kind of sense.

But the door had opened. We both looked up to see Luca standing there.

‘Hey,’ I said immediately getting up off the bed as if I was guilty. Though of what, I didn’t know.

‘You look great,’ he said carefully, his eyes travelling up and down me. ‘Transformed.’

‘Doesn’t she?’ Polly swung her legs over the end of the bed. ‘I knew she would.’

I felt naked all of a sudden. Exposed and uncomfortable.

‘I’m going to get changed now,’ I said, noticing how Luca switched his eyes over to Polly. In a second, I saw something I didn’t want to see. Fear shot through me.

‘I should get going.’ Polly stretched, her arms long and languorous. She eased herself up, and stood, her bare legs making her look a little like a Titian A pink princess.

‘I’ll leave you to get an early night,’ she said, as she loaded a heap of clothes, combs and make-up into her bag. She straightened up and smiled at Luca. ‘I think you’re expected at Grandpa Pete’s place tomorrow. My mum wants things straightened out.’

Luca looked startled. ‘Tomorrow? Sure …’ And then his face lit up, in a way I hadn’t seen it do for a while. He was staring at Polly as though all his Christmases had come at once. ‘That’s great,’ he told her. ‘I’ll be there first thing.’

‘Is there any change?’ I said. ‘Is he conscious?’

Polly shrugged. ‘He’s still in a coma,’ she said. ‘Mum’s in a state.’

‘Is there anything we can do?’ Luca asked.

She hesitated. ‘You can come to the club night on Saturday. Ade and I need cheering up.’

‘Sure,’ I said quickly, glancing at Luca. ‘We’d like that.’

‘Good.’ She picked up the bag and swung it over her shoulder. ‘I want you to see the other side of us. We’re not that bad underneath, you know.’ Her eyes brightened a little when she added. ‘We’re just a couple of mixed-up kids, really …’

In an instant she was gone, leaving Luca and me alone in my mum’s bedroom.

‘I’ll see myself out,’ she called, halfway down the stairs. ‘I’m sure you two have a lot to talk about.’

As Luca frowned, I sighed, sitting back down on the bed. ‘She’s an odd girl, all right,’ I said. ‘The way she said “We’re just a couple of mixed-up kids” – it was like she was reciting it. Like she’d heard someone else say it too many times.’

‘I know.’ Luca sat down next to me. ‘I still don’t trust either of them. I mean, for whatever reason she seems to be making an effort with you – with me … And I’d like to think it was because she regrets how she and Ade have behaved towards us. But I don’t buy it.’

‘Me neither,’ I said, perturbed. ‘I don’t know what’s going on, but I don’t think we have a choice. And maybe if we go along with what she wants, we’ll find out the truth.’

I looked at him and a ripple of anxiety went through me.

‘Keep your friends close …’ Luca began, reaching out and tugging gently at my hair.

‘And your enemies closer,’ I supplied. ‘Isn’t that what they say?’

Luca nodded, looking at my dress. ‘But if we have to go to this club night then you should really wear that – you look beautiful.’

‘You think?’ I tried to hide my smile. ‘It’s not a bit too much?’

He leaned forward and kissed my shoulder. His arm crept around my waist.

His lips moved to my neck, kissing me gently, and my body leaned into his.

‘Luca?’ I said in faux protest, but still a little taken aback. It wasn’t like him to be so … amorous.

‘Every time I look at you,’ he whispered, his breath hot and sweet in my ear, ‘I just want to …’ He half sighed then, his hand moving closer to my breast.

‘Luca.’ I wriggled away from him, flushed. ‘I want to … do it, too. I mean,’ I felt my face ablaze, ‘I really want to. But we can’t.’

Luca stopped touching me and, for a second, he looked irritated, but I could see him wrestling with his instincts. ‘I know.’ He sighed. ‘It’s OK. It’s difficult here with your family.’

I nodded, biting my lip. I felt all kinds of things, but inadequate came top of the list. I wanted to feel right about it, but the truth was it wasn’t just the fact that we were under my parents’ roof. It was something about Luca. He seemed changed somehow. More aggressive. I had glimpsed another side of him.

‘But we need to … We can’t go on just kissing and skirting round it.’

‘I know,’ I said, my heart thudding, because I had disappointed him somehow. That’s how it felt, anyway. ‘And we will. Soon. Just … not now.’

Luca held my gaze, the usual softness in his eyes replaced by something sharper, harder.

‘Of course.’ He got to his feet. ‘You’re right.’ He put his hands in his pockets and I could see how tense he was. ‘I’d better get to bed. I have an early start.’

‘OK,’ I said quietly, the beginnings of desperation growing in me. ‘But you can stay here, in my bed. If you like.’

He half smiled, but it looked forced. ‘Thanks. But I think I’ll sleep in my room tonight. You know, where there’s no distraction.’

‘Right. Yes,’ I said, standing there in my stupid dress with my stupid backcombed hair. ‘Well, I’ll see you in the morning then.’

Luca moved towards the door, turning just as he got there. ‘Probably not. It’ll be practically dawn when I get up. We’ll talk tomorrow though …’ He tried for a reassuring tone, but it came out flat.

Before I could reply he was gone, the door silently shutting behind him. Looking at the clock I saw it was barely nine. I sank down on the bed, closing my eyes. It felt like a quiet catastrophe had just occurred.

‘Y
our teeth are fluorescent,’ said Ashley, swaying precariously in front of me. She stuck her straw into her mouth then drew back, her nose wrinkling. ‘I have no idea what I’m drinking, but I’m pretty sure it’s not the alcohol-free cocktail I ordered.’ She frowned down into her sickly-looking pink drink. ‘I think Ade’s trying to get me drunk.’

‘Uh-huh.’ I smiled, taking her glass out of her hands and putting it on the counter, accidentally nudging the arm of a tall girl dressed entirely in leather.

‘Careful,’ she said sharply, swinging round to give us the full benefit of her heavily made-up face. She had a thick layer of foundation on and her eyes were barely discernable in the midst of all the black eye-liner. ‘I hope you two babies have ID?’

I rolled my eyes at Ashley, who let out a shrill giggle.

‘Haven’t you got a horrible pink bedroom somewhere you need to get back to?’ said the girl, sneering and reaching up to touch her heavily lacquered short hair. I had a sudden urge to poke at it, though the fierce look on her face was a pretty good deterrent.

‘Excuse me for breathing,’ murmured Ashley, then hiccuped.

I shook my head and, taking her arm, steered Ashley away from the bar, into the crowds who were swaying to some droning nouveau punk that the DJ was playing.

‘Have you seen the others?’ I shouted over the noise. ‘Luca went to the bathroom ages ago.’

Ashley blinked. ‘That’s true. And Ade was talking to Polly over there …’ She stabbed into a corner of the vast room with her finger. ‘But he’s not there any more.’

I nodded, trying not to feel worried. I had to chill out. We were supposed to be having a good time. But Luca had been gone an awfully long while. I took off my denim jacket. It was baking hot, but I had just felt too self-conscious in my dress.

Ashley’s eyes widened when she saw it. ‘Amazing dress, Jane. You look … amazing.’

I couldn’t help laughing. ‘So, to be clear, I look amazing, right?’

‘You do.’ She swayed forward.

‘Ashley,’ I said, grabbing her arms. ‘I think you are drunk. Someone must have given Ade the wrong drink. Here …’ I glanced around, looking for somewhere to take her. ‘There’s a free area over there. Let’s sit for a while.’

But Ashley had gone pale. ‘I think I’m going to be sick,’ she said, putting her hand over her mouth. ‘I think there was alcohol in that drink.’

‘You don’t say,’ I muttered. ‘OK. I’ll take you home. I just need to find the others.’

‘No need,’ said Ashley, hiccuping again. ‘Ade’s here.’ She waved at him.

‘What’s going on?’ Ade suddenly appeared so close beside me that as I turned I nearly buried my face in his faded black T-shirt. I could see his pecs and his strong, lightly freckled arms against the dark cotton. I turned quickly back to Ashley.

‘Ashley’s not feeling good,’ I said, trying to keep the disapproval out of my voice. ‘I think she needs to go home.’

‘You OK, honey?’ he said, stroking her hair. ‘Want me to get you a cab?’

I swivelled, to properly express my disdain with hostile eye contact.

‘Maybe you should take her?’ I said glaring at him.

‘I was going to suggest that, too,’ he said calmly.

‘Of course you were.’ I put my arm around Ashley. ‘When she was passed out on this disgusting floor, no doubt.’

‘Don’t be mean to Ade,’ said Ashley shakily. ‘It’s probably better he doesn’t take me. My dad will only go ballistic anyway.’

‘Hey.’ I felt a hand on my back, moving up to squeeze my shoulder. I relaxed. Luca.

‘I think we should all go, actually,’ I said. ‘Luca, Ashley’s not feeling great.’ I looked pointedly at Ade. ‘I think someone gave her the wrong drink.’

‘I’ll take her home,’ Luca said without hesitation. ‘And then I’ll come back …’ He paused, realizing Ade was standing next to him. ‘Or Ade can … I don’t mind.’

‘That’s good of you, mate,’ said Ade, smiling broadly at both of us. ‘Are you sure you’re OK to do that?’

‘No problem,’ said Luca. He looked reassuringly at Ashley. ‘I’ll go and call a cab.’

‘Wait!’ I walked after him, tugging at his T-shirt. ‘You shouldn’t be the one taking Ash home …’

Luca reached his hand back to take mine. ‘Well, I don’t trust her with him,’ he said, stopping and glancing back at Ade. ‘I want to see she gets home safely.’

‘I don’t think he’d hurt her,’ I said, confused. ‘I mean, he wouldn’t, would he?’

‘I’m not taking the chance,’ Luca said. ‘I need to borrow your phone to call for a cab.’

‘I don’t want you to go.’ The words flew out of my mouth before I could stop them.

‘Why?’ Luca moved out of the way of a couple pushing past us. ‘Are you OK?’

‘I just …’ My eyes darted around me. ‘I don’t know …’ The truth was, I was irritated that Luca hadn’t even thought that leaving me alone with the unchivalrous Ade was a heinous idea.

‘Jane.’ He stepped closer to me. ‘It’ll be fine. I won’t be long.’ He smiled reassuringly. ‘And Polly’s around somewhere, isn’t she?’

‘Yeah.’ I sighed, trying for a less lame attitude. ‘Sorry. I’m just not particularly—’

‘Not particularly what?’ A voice came from behind. Polly moved around me, managing somehow to fit between Luca and me.

‘Nothing.’ I smiled as brightly as possible. ‘How are you doing?’

Polly shrugged. ‘I’m not feeling too great. I was just wondering if I could get a lift back with Luca and Ashley?’ She turned slowly to Luca. ‘If that’s OK?’

Luca made some kind of eye contact with me. ‘What about Ade?’

‘He’s fine,’ she said vaguely. ‘He’s chatting to a couple of guys who are going to give him some electrician work. They’re talking business or something.’

‘OK.’ I fought a little rising panic. ‘I guess I’ll just hang out here, then. Unless I come with you?’ I knew I was testing Luca, to see if he’d insist that I leave with him.

‘I’ll be back before you know it,’ said Luca obliviously, his eyes anywhere but on me. He was putting on his jacket, patting his pockets for his wallet.

I couldn’t say anything, not now. Why was he being so uncharacteristically uncaring? I nodded wearily, noticing the catlike smile on Polly’s face.

She pouted at me. ‘You have to stay here and show off that dress. Besides, we can’t all abandon Ade. He wants to talk to you, too.’

‘Really?’ I looked at Luca, expecting, hoping for, a thundercloud to appear above his head. But he looked perfectly serene. I felt like I was going to cry.

Never had I wanted to be slouched in front of the TV more with Luca than I did then. And Polly looked perfectly OK to me. In fact, she was glowing. Suddenly I had to get away from them.

‘I’ll go and get Ashley.’ I practically threw my phone at Luca.

I walked back into the dark noisy hall, my eyes darting around, finally locating Ade, his auburn hair a little damp and curling, pushed back off his face. He was deep in discussion with a couple of no-hopers.

I tapped him on the shoulder.

‘Where’s Ashley?’ I shouted.

He frowned then shrugged, far too nonchalantly for my liking.

‘In the Ladies, I think,’ he shouted back. ‘Is your noble boyfriend taking her home then?’

I nodded, crossing my arms in a totally stand-offish gesture.

‘Does that bother you?’ he said, not shouting now, his face closer to mine. I caught the whiff of alcohol on his breath and was too aware of his body. He was big. Not fat, but big-built, strong-looking. He grinned and his teeth shone white.