Dark Refuge (13 page)

Everything seemed fresh today. The sky was crystalline blue and so clear she could see boats that had to be miles away, their dark silhouettes barely visible above the horizon. She stood at the edge of the lot, staring at the broad expanse of ocean until she heard Em locking up the car.

Sissy turned in time to see Em shift. It was the first time she’d seen Em’s wolf, and her pale gray coat was marked almost like a leopard’s with a fascinating pattern of tiny dark rosettes.

She must have given the keys to Gabe before she shifted, because he had them in his mouth. Sissy wondered if he was going to carry them as they ran, but then she followed Em, Alex and Gabe as they trotted across the parking lot to the trail that led around the flank of the mountain. Gabe went straight to a large fallen log and dug into the soft dirt near the end. He dropped the keys into the hole, covered them carefully, and then he looked straight at Sissy.

Are you ready?

I am.

Let us know if you get tired. You’re not used to running on four legs, and we don’t want to wear you out.

Just try.
She couldn’t hold still a moment longer, so she yipped and took off, spinning away and racing up the trail. Dirt flew from beneath her sharp nails and she felt as if she could run forever. Her legs were strong, her big paws so nimble, her nails digging into the hard trail to give her the perfect traction for speed. Gabe nipped her flank and ran past her, and then Alex raced around the other side. Em stayed on her flank, though Sissy was certain she could have passed her without any effort. They were accustomed to running—she was fast, too, but there was too much to see, too many things to sniff and taste.

Smells were sharper, the sounds in the grass unbelievably loud. Quail burst out of some wild lilac bushes, scattering madly out of the way as the four of them ran past. She saw every detail of their escape—the mad rush of their wings and their little black topknots—with total clarity.

Then there were the ground squirrels beside their mounds that zipped down into their holes the moment the wolves came into view. Though she’d eaten a huge breakfast, Sissy’s nose twitched at the scent of the little rodents, and she realized she wasn’t the least bit grossed out at the thought of catching and eating one. Or maybe two.

I never thought I’d look at something that was little more than a furry rat and think “snack.”

Em’s silent laughter had Sissy’s wolf grinning.
I guess that would be an adjustment. I’ve always thought they were tasty, though their little bones get caught in my teeth. I prefer bigger game like deer or elk, but it’s been ages since I’ve hunted them.

We’ll be heading to Montana in another week or so,
Gabe said.
Definitely before the winter solstice celebration. You’ll have a chance to hunt then. Big game, in the snow. Now, that is real hunting. C’mon.
He veered off the trail and the rest of the small pack followed.
This is one of my favorite runs,
he said, circling down past the Marin Headlands to Bonita Cove.
My wolf likes running across the beach more than I do as a human. You’re going to love this!

The tide was out and the sand packed hard. They played at the edge of the water, splashing like kids in the foam before lying on the sun-warmed beach to watch the big container ships sail under the Golden Gate. Sissy gazed at the big ships and then turned and stared into Em’s beautiful green eyes.
I can’t believe this is my life. This is the most amazing day I’ve ever had.

Thank you for letting us share it with you.
Em glanced at Alex and Gabe, including them.
We’ve always known what it’s like to be Chanku. You remind us how special this life is, how lucky we are.

I hope Janine and Mbali are Chanku. They’ve both become good friends. I don’t think that Lindy and Nina are, but I wonder about Mary. She wants to go home so badly, but I know she’s adopted and she told me one time that she never felt as if she fit in, that sometimes her family seemed like they were totally unlike her. It makes me wonder.

It’s a decision you can’t force on someone, Sissy. No matter how right it is for you, each of us is an individual. That’s one thing we believe very strongly in—following our own desires, living our own lives. Making our own decisions about things that are important to us.

But when she said it, Em stared at Gabe, and he returned her look while something passed between them. Sissy wondered what she was missing. Something had happened to either Em or Gabe, something that somehow took something important away from one or both of them.

She had no reason to think like that, but the feeling was much too clear to ignore. She wasn’t sure why she suspected anything so weird, but she did, and the feeling stayed with her until they finally turned and headed back to the parking lot.

Chapter 8

“This is so strange, to be sitting here in Em’s car, driving back into town after running along the mountainside as a wolf. Does it ever stop feeling weird?”

Gabe caught Em’s eye in the rearview mirror and grinned. “For us, Sissy, it would feel weird to go to Mount Tam and not shift and run. We’ve always been this way. I’m wondering, though, if you’re noticing anything else.”

“You mean like, if I don’t get laid in the next ten seconds I’m going to explode?” She slapped her hand over her mouth and went about ten shades of red.

Gabe snorted and burst out laughing. Alex doubled up in complete hysterics. Em grinned, shook her head slowly and kept driving.

“Oh, shit. I can’t believe I said that out loud.”

Gabe grabbed a handkerchief out of his pocket and wiped his streaming eyes. “It’s okay, Sissy. That’s sort of the answer I was going for. You actually nailed it. That’s part of being Chanku. What we’ve neglected to tell you is that we’re creatures who essentially are ruled by an overactive libido, and the need for sex is particularly strong after a shift. You learn to control it to a certain extent, but it’s always there, sort of bubbling below the surface.” He laughed out loud. “Except when it explodes. I honestly didn’t think about how you must have felt last night, especially after your first shift. Were you able to sleep okay?”

She kept her hands over her face and mumbled, “Yeah, after I found the vibrator in the nightstand beside the bed. I need to replace it.”

Alex stared at her, openmouthed. “You mean you wore it out?”

She lifted her head, turned and glared at him. “No, stupid. I used it. That’s not something people generally pass around.”

Em stopped laughing long enough to answer Sissy. “Alex, behave. Sissy, if you take the batteries out of it, I can run it through the dishwasher. That sterilizes everything, but it’s not a big problem. We don’t get any sexually transmitted diseases and you’ll find that, now that you’ve changed enough that you can shift, you’ll rarely get sick. Our immune systems are pretty amazing. I bet you’ve never gotten an STD from pulling tricks, have you?”

“No.” She hadn’t and now that she thought about it . . . “Lindy and Nina had to go into the clinic a couple of times, but none of the rest of us. We’re all careful about using condoms though.”

“You don’t have to be. Not anymore. You can’t get pregnant unless you have sex in your wolf form, and then only if you consciously choose to release an egg.”

Gabe chuckled. “Or two, as the case may be. There are quite a few twins in the pack, including me. My brother Mac and I were Mom’s surprise for Dad.”

“Actually,” Alex said, “I think Lucia was a bigger surprise.” He leaned forward so Sissy wouldn’t have to turn around. “Gabe’s mom decided she wanted one more baby, and his dad wasn’t all that excited about the idea. But Chanku are a matriarchal society, and baby Luci was a reminder that Mom has last call on those decisions.”

“Yeah, but you’ll notice she’s the family favorite and definitely Dad’s little princess. Lily, Mac and I all spoiled her rotten, but Dad’s the worst. When he caved, he caved entirely.”

“I miss Luci,” Em said. “Will she be in Montana when we go back?”

“She should be.” Gabe and Alex both sat back as Em turned off Nineteenth and headed toward Sunset. Gabe couldn’t wait to go back to Montana, especially since they were bringing at least a few more Chanku into the pack. The downside was, what was this trip going to do to Em? He hated to see her relationship with her parents brought into question, but it was hard to imagine a good ending to this mess.

Alex leaned forward again to include Em and Sissy. “I just talked to Annie. She and the girls are at the mall on Nineteenth, but they’re getting lunch there so we’re on our own. I hadn’t even thought of that. We probably should have hunted while we were running.”

Sissy turned and shot him a grin. “I’m still not sure I’m ready to eat raw rodents.”

Alex shrugged. “We could have chased down a few rabbits. There’s more meat on them. I saw a couple of deer up on the hill.” He sighed and held the back of his hand to his forehead. “I think I’m growing weak. Starvation is setting in.”

“I think you’ll survive until we can pick up some takeout.” Gabe shoved Alex’s shoulder. “Big baby. Actually, Sissy, we try not to hunt larger game in public this close to the city. In Montana, we’ve got thousands of acres of forest and can hunt whatever we need, but down here we’re forced to act more civilized, which means no killing large animals that leave a bloody carcass. It tends to upset the bird and bunny people.”

“Wonder how they’d taste?”

“Alex?”

“Yes, Gabe?”

“Behave.”

They stopped long enough to pick up hamburgers and fries at a drive-through before heading home. Em hit the door opener and drove directly into their underground garage. Gabe and Alex grabbed the bags of hamburgers and fries, and Sissy went on ahead with Em to set the table.

She was standing at the table, staring at her hands, when the guys opened the bags and piled the burgers on a plate in the center of the table. “I can’t believe these were paws a short time ago. I mean, I know it happened, and I still can feel the absolute rush of running, but it’s too bizarre for words.”

Em took a seat across the table from her. “I really enjoyed my run this morning. I travel all over Asia, and we’re not as protected there as we are here, so I rarely shift and run in public places. There are a few areas where we have pretty large landholdings, but poaching is a huge problem, and since I’m usually the only wolf there, I don’t feel safe enough to run on my own. Today was special. And you will get used to it, though I don’t think any of us ever takes our ability to shift to other forms for granted.”

She grabbed a hamburger. So did everyone else. The only sound was the occasional moan of pleasure from the joy of gorging themselves on junk food, what Alex often referred to as ambrosia.

In spite of their hunger, Gabe could tell it was hard for Sissy to concentrate on her meal. She couldn’t sit still and the scent of her arousal was wafting straight for his nose.

“I think I need to be excused.” She pushed her chair back from the table, but Alex covered her hand with his.

“Where are you going?”

She blushed. “I think I need to find that vibrator. This is killing me.”

“We thought you’d join us.”

She frowned, and Gabe wanted to kick Alex for not explaining what he was talking about to her. “Sissy, Alex, Em and I are going to get naked and fuck like bunnies,” he said. “We thought you’d want to join us.”

Sissy’s head spun and she glared at Alex. “What about Annie? She’s my friend. I don’t cheat with my friends’ significant others. I’m sorry, but . . .”

“It’s okay.” Alex was grinning, but at least he looked a little embarrassed. Gabe glared at him and Alex dipped his head. It wasn’t fair to tease Sissy—this was all way too new for her. He glanced at Gabe. “I’m sorry, Sissy. I’m giving you a bad time by not telling you what I mean. I’m not being fair, and I’m sorry. Annie’s my bonded mate. When you and Gabe and Em and I are all doing whatever we do, she’ll be in my head, sharing everything. Chanku are openly polyamorous, which means we have sex with others in the pack that we’re not mated to. This morning I topped Gabe while Em kept the rest of his boy parts entertained. When Annie woke up, she joined us. No one thought anything of it. Everything is different than with humans.”

“How’s that?” Sissy was still glaring at him. “A lot of human men and some women love to have group sex, but partners who are excluded still get hurt.”

“Not for Chanku. There’s no jealousy, and even if our mates aren’t physically with us, they’re not excluded. Not when your bonded mate is in your head and knows everything you’re doing. Annie was with me on our run today, even though she was shopping with your friends. She knows what we’re planning, and she approves. And if they get back and we’re still at it, she might join us.”

“But . . .”

“I would never cheat on Annie, Sissy. I love her. She’s my better half, and without her I’m not much.” He stared at the table a moment and then raised his head. “Truth? Without Annie, I’m nothing, and she knows that. She also knows that there is no woman anywhere who could ever take her place. Sex for Chanku doesn’t hold the taboos that it has for the human population. It’s just another bodily function. You eat, you sleep, you shit, you fuck.”

Alex’s laugh had a hollow sound to it that made Gabe ache inside. Damn how he wanted what Alex and Annie had.

“But connecting with Annie? Linking our minds when we make love? Sharing what’s deep inside? That’s what’s important. That’s not something we do with anyone else, because that’s where the intimacy lies. That’s what makes our mates so special to us. They’re the ones who know us inside and out. We have no secrets from our mates. They know our good points and our faults, and they love us anyway. I could screw a dozen women, give each of them pleasure and thoroughly enjoy the experience, and yet it wouldn’t have the intimacy of a single word from my mate. It’s up to you, Sissy, but whatever you choose, be assured that I’d not be cheating on Annie.” He grinned at Gabe. “And Gabe wouldn’t be cheating on Em.”