Authors: Devon Herrera
“Why?”
“GRRRRR!” She growls and punches me in the shoulder with her little fist. “Why is it so hard for you to grasp the fact that I care for you? Don’t go running for the hills, because I didn’t tell you that I love you or anything… because I don’t… love you, that is, but I do care about you.”
“But nothing happened to me. I put a big hole in Lucas before he even got a shot off. I’m perfectly unharmed.” I’m so damn confused right now, and I know that I should just nod and smile, then throw her over my shoulder and carry her off to her bedroom, but I can’t seem to let this go.
“Drake, for a smart man, you are pretty thick sometimes.” She sighs, leans forward, and sets her palm down on my chest, right over my heart. “I know you’re okay physically, but it’s what’s going on in here, that I can’t see.” She lifts her other hand, and puts her finger tips to my temple. “Here too.” She drops both hands and then grasps my shoulders. “I need to know if you’re okay inside. You shot someone you’ve never met today. You did that for my friends, for people you barely know. That had to mean something to you.”
“Let me get this straight. This whole time you’ve been crying, was because you’re worried about me?” I ask, still unwilling to believe what she’s telling me.
“Okay, I can see you’re going to be stubborn, so I’ll put it like this. I’ve cried a total of three times in the last sixteen years. Three whole times since I was ten. I was never an emotional child
,
and even less as an adult.”
I know that she’s trying to tell me something important
,
but my mind feels like mush right now. I’ve been in way worse situations and no one other than my mother ever cried for me. I don’t know how to process this information
,
but one thing is absolutely solid. I want this girl, like I’ve never wanted anything before in my life. I was immediately attracted to her, hell you would have to be a unich not to. It didn’t take long for that attraction to turn into appreciation, and then to like. I’d even go so far to say as she’s my best friend. Right now, I feel all of those things amplified tenfold by my need to possess her.
She gave me her friendship, and her body, and now her tears. I’m a selfish asshole to want more from her, but I’ve never been a saint. I can’t ask her for it, because I can’t even put a name to this feeling. All I know is that I have to take it. There is no other option.
I practically jump from the couch, and the look on my face must be as feral as I feel right now because Lola’s eyes widen and she’s completely compliant for the first time since I’ve met her. With my eyes still locked on hers, I reach down and rip her from the cushions and into my arms, not stopping a beat before rushing through her apartment and practically kicking down her bedroom door.
The door slams closed with Lola’s back up against it and me pressed against her. Her head hits the wood with a dull thud as I attack her luscious mouth and shove my hands up her shirt. Our mouths break apart when her shirt clears her chin, and I throw it behind me into the darkness. Lola is already reaching behind her to unclasp her bra, and her tits bounce free as their confines join her shirt.
I press her more securely against the door with my hips so I can free up one hand, and when my stone stiff cock presses against the vee in her jeans, we both groan. I rub one pink nipple with the pad of my thumb and Lola rewards me by rolling her hips. My hand gives way to my mouth and the second my tongue touches her creamy skin, a perfect feminine moan fills the room. I use my free hand to undo her jeans, and then reach inside to torture her, like she’s torturing me.
I’ve never tasted anything better than this woman’s skin. I’ve always loved sex as much as any other red blooded man, but my insatiable hunger for this blonde little firecracker borders on obsessive. I suck harder on her breast, wanting her taste on the back of my tongue. My fingers slip past her silk underwear and come in contact with her soft, wet lips. I flick her clit back and forth, over and over, and then circle it, teasing her. Another cry bubbles up from her throat and the sound draws me in. I release her nipple and dive into her mouth, thrusting my tongue against hers just as I thrust my fingers inside of her warmth.
Fuck yes.
I work her over with my fingers, making sure she’s perfectly ready. I take a little longer than I need to, because I love toying with her when she’s like this. The more frustrated and eager she is, the more vocal she gets. Sex shouldn’t be silent and civilized. It’s primitive, raw and visceral.
“If you don’t have us both naked in the next ten seconds, I might break your nose,” Lola pants.
Mission accomplished.
I’m convinced she uses a vacuum sealer on her jeans when she gets dressed every morning, so it takes me more than ten seconds to peel them off. Thankfully, she’s in a merciful mood, because my nose is still intact. As soon as she’s stripped bare, she starts to climb up my body. I throw her up against the door and she instantly wraps her legs around my back, digging her heels into my ass. I take that as a green light and shove inside her.
That first thrust completely shakes me. A tremor steals down my spine and I struggle to keep from throwing my head back and roaring with satisfaction. It’s been too damn long. Lola’s garbled “yes!” is still ringing in my head, and it throws me into a frenzy. I rear back and slam forward, pushing her up the wood with each upward stroke.
After a couple minutes, she joins in; using her legs, and one hand on the door behind her for leverage, she rocks against me in perfect counter point. “Fuck, that’s perfect, baby! Keep going, just like that.”
“Hurry, Drake! I’m going to come!” This is it; that moment where I feel like bowing down at her feet and offering her the world. It’s the only time she’s ever completely open with me, and it fucking wrecks me. Every time.
I move inside her as fast, and as hard, and as deep as I possibly can for several thrusts before I feel her begin to shake. I wait for the sound; that small scream that forms my name before letting myself go completely. I don’t have to wait long, and the first syllable of my name in that sexy as hell voice, drives me completely over the edge.
It starts in the back of neck and rolls down my spine before exploding out of me. I lean against her and brace one hand on the wall to keep upright, as I shake from the most intense climax of my life. Lola coos sweetly into my neck, helping me come back down to earth and regain my equilibrium. I don’t even think she knows she’s doing it most of the time, but she always gets like this after we fuck.
I spin around and carry her to the bed with her arms still around my neck and her lips trailing along my jaw. I lower us both, and she doesn’t wait one second before pulling my lip between her teeth and cradling my hips with her own. “That was amazing,” she says, nibbling on my ear lobe.
“It was. Do you want to do it again?”
She pulls away from me and her sudden silence makes me wonder if she’s having another break down. I look down at her face, and to my surprise, there’s no tears, but some kind of intense look, as she meets my stare straight on.
“Drake, do you…” she trails off and bites her lip like she’s nervous about whatever she has to say, and I’ll be damned if that doesn’t make me nervous as hell too. That’s one emotion I’ve never seen in this particular woman.
“Tell me,” I say, because I’d rather get it over with than torture myself with the possibilities.
“Will you just make love to me?” She says, softly, and then quickly turns her head to stare at my arm.
Holy shit. What the fuck do I do now?
I open my mouth to give some excuse. I have to go water the plants. My dog needs let out. I think my mother is calling me. Anything to get out of this situation, but before I can get a word out, she turns her head, locking eyes with me again, and all my bull shit goes right out the window. How the hell can I tell her no when she looks at me like that; like I’m her god damn hero?
I’ve never wanted to be anyone’s hero before, but something about this girl makes me stupid. I can’t seem to get rid of this need to deserve her. Some part of me, that was long forgotten, has been dug up. I want to be enough. I want to be right. I want to be good.
The bigger part of me that refuses to get attached to her won’t let me respond with words, but at that moment, the piece that Lola scooped out of my soul has control of my body. Silently, I lace my fingers with hers, and slide inside her slowly, reverently. She gasps and a single sparkling tear rolls down her cheek to land on our entwined hands. I follow the trail with my lips, until she captures my mouth with her own. It’s absolute perfection.
Fucking her wrecked me. Making love to her might just renew me.
I can’t sleep. I should be sleeping the sleep of a thoroughly replete and satisfied male, but I have this sinking feeling in my stomach and a weight on my chest. Lola is curled up to my side, and our fingers are still linked together. We stayed up half the night, eyes locked, having slow, simmering sex in-between bouts of talking and laughing about nothing and everything all at the same time.
It was like a fucking chick flick. The worst part is, it was the best sex I’ve ever had, and I loved every second of it. This isn’t the first time I’ve stayed with her after she fell asleep, but she doesn’t know that. Last time, I just couldn’t force myself to leave her, but this time, this time I didn’t even want to.
You are in way over your head, Thomas.
Yea, no shit.
“Drake.” Lola mumbles in her sleep. It seems so natural to press a kiss to the top of her hair. She hums deep in her throat and sighs, nuzzling my chest. “Love you.”
My eyes snap open, and I twist to stare down at her in utter shock. My mind tries to convince me I heard her wrong, but I can’t deny how clear it was. No fucking way. She can’t love me.
She
can’t love me!
It’s not right! I’m not right. No matter how badly I wanted it to be a lie while I held her in my arms, it’s my reality.
I slowly untangle myself from her grasp, and dress as quietly as possible.
Just walk out that door, and don’t look back. Keep going, don’t turn around.
I get one hand on the door knob, and the back of my neck prickles. I look over my shoulder, and Lola’s eyes are wide open, a look of complete betrayal in her turquoise gaze. She lays there silently staring at me as I turn the knob and walk through the door, and out of her life.
CHAPTER 14
“The frankest and freest product of the human mind and heart is a love letter.”
- Mark Twain
Lola,
I think it’s best if we end this. We both knew going in that it wouldn’t last, right? I’m not going to bull shit and say it’s not you. It is you. You’re going to end up with the right guy one day. He’s one lucky son of a bitch if you ask me. I wish I could be that man for you. If I could, I’d be him. I’m sorry I’m not.
Goodbye
,
Sunshine.
Yours,
Drake
I can’t stop thinking about that stupid note I left at Lo’s place. If she didn’t hate me before, she definitely does now. Despite my best efforts to push her away, the thought of her hating me in any capacity makes me want to hit something. Hard.
I knock on the front door, secretly wishing no one is home. My mother answers and I’m instantly engulfed in a hug and peppered with kisses. “Drasin! How are you? It’s so good to see you!”
My mother is one of only two people who have ever called me by my full name. It’s not that I don’t like it; it’s just that I’ve always been Drake to everyone else. “Hey, Mom. I’m good, how are things?”
She sighs and motions me inside. “I don’t know what to do with her. She won’t listen to anything I say.” I nod and hang up my coat and hat.
“Is Mark home?”
“No, he’s at work. He’s so upset over this whole thing. You know how he is with Lauren. She’s his baby girl.”
Yea, I know how she is. He was devastated when she was hurt, but he’s never been able to tell her no to anything. “Is she in her room?” I ask, already making my way down the hall. My mom nods and heads towards the kitchen.
“Dinner is in an hour, Son.”
I rap once on my sister’s door and then push inside without waiting for a response. I already know I won’t get one. “Hey, baby sister.” Lauren is sitting at her desk finishing up a letter. The only photograph in her room is of a brown haired man with his arms wrapped around her. It’s sitting directly in front of her as she writes her letter. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out who she’s writing to.
“Hi. How long are you here for this time?” She asks, folding the letter and setting it aside.
“I’m not sure. A couple of days maybe.”
“Are you here to lecture me again?” She spins around in her chair with her arms crossed, and a defiant look on her face. I was so happy when she developed our mother’s feisty attitude. Unfortunately she also inherited her horrible taste in men.
“I’m just looking out for you, sis. We all want what’s best for you.”
“Nate is what’s best for me. He loves me.”
“Lauren, he beat you unconscious. How the hell is that love?”
“He feels really badly about that. Besides, I have to take my part of the blame. You know how I am sometimes. If I hadn’t bothered him, none of this would have happened.”
I stare at her in total disbelief. I should be used to it by now. When she woke up in the hospital and was angrier at us for having her boyfriend arrested then she was at him, I seriously considered having her committed. “Do you even hear yourself right now? You didn’t
bother
him, you caught him with another woman and he beat the shit out of you.”