Darkest Before Dawn (KGI series) (33 page)

“There is nothing you can do that I won’t love and be begging—yes, that’s right, Honor, I said begging—for more. You’ll have me on my knees and at your mercy for just a touch from you. Your mouth. Your nipples. Your body. I want it all.”

“You don’t mind my inexperience then,” she said in a pleased tone.

He gathered her face in his hands, tangling his fingers in her hair as he took her mouth in a breathless motion. Then he pulled back, still running his fingers through the silken strands of her hair as if he simply couldn’t get enough of touching her.

“I love that I’m the only man who’s ever touched you this intimately. I’m glad that I’m the only man you’ve ever touched so intimately. The only man who’s had his dick in your sweet mouth and felt the touch of that velvety soft tongue. God, what you do to me, Honor. Damn me to hell for taking such a precious gift when I have nothing to give you in return except heartbreak and betrayal.”

Tears burned his eyes and he did nothing to shield his emotions from her, something he would have never done in the past with anyone. No one saw into him. Not even his family. They caught glimpses, but only what he wanted them to see. Just enough so they’d know he did love them.

But Honor got all of him. Every single thing he’d spent a lifetime suppressing. Building impenetrable fortresses around the things that mattered to him until they simply no longer existed. He became what he set out to become. The ultimate assassin. No feelings to muck things up. No emotions to interfere in a mission.

But he’d known for a while now that his heart was no longer in it. That he no longer had a heart or a soul. Honor had been the final nail in his coffin and after this—her—he’d walk away and never look back. He’d live the kind of life Honor would have wanted him to have—or try. How could a man ever live with peace knowing he’d destroyed the very essence of good? Even if it was to take out the very face of evil and save thousands of innocent women, children and men?

Was it really worth it?

Was it?

Honor’s eyes narrowed as she stared back at Hancock. “You do not have the look of a pleased man right now.”

He smiled. Really smiled, allowing the demons and shadows that haunted him and would haunt him the rest of his life to slip away, because nothing would interfere in this one
brief shining moment in the sun. He’d wrap himself in Honor’s light and goodness and keep it always.

“That’s because your mouth isn’t where it should be,” he murmured, thumbing at her bottom lip before slipping it inside, rubbing softly over the top of her tongue.

“Then show me,” she said, breathless, her respirations speeding up, her nipples puckering into taut, rigid points.

Unable to resist, he slid his hand between her thighs and slipped one long finger inside her, enjoying the hiss of pleasure and surprise that escaped her lips.

Oh yes, she was wet and excited. Over the idea of pleasuring
him
.

He tossed a pillow onto the floor beside the bed, and then he reverently and ever so carefully lifted her in his arms and then lowered her onto her knees on the pillow so it would cushion her from the hard floor.

He sat on the edge of the bed, thighs spread, his dick straining upward, flat against his abdomen, pre-cum still beading the tip. Honor looked at it again and unconsciously licked her lips, eliciting a groan from him.

“Baby, you have to stop that,” he said hoarsely. “I’ll come before I ever get inside that sweet mouth, and right now I’m dying to get in there.”

“Then do it,” she said sweetly, her innocence flowing over him like cleansing rain. “You do it, Hancock. I want you to have control. Show me what you like. How to please you. I won’t fail you.”

Jesus H. Christ. How could she possibly fail to please him? Just her touching him pleased him. He’d known for a long time he was damned to hell, but being with her, kissing her, touching her, being so deep inside her that they became one person, one soul, one being, for that brief moment he’d seen heaven, and he’d never wanted anything more badly in his life.

Not giving words to those thoughts because then he’d be lost forever, he tangled his fingers in her hair, palming both sides of her head to pull her forward.

“Open your mouth,” he said gruffly. “But guard your teeth. Teeth are . . . painful and not in a good way.”

She smiled just as he pulled her to his mouth, and she parted her lips dutifully.

“Now relax and trust me. We’ll start slow and let you get used to it. Play with and tease the head. Especially underneath. Use only your tongue.”

She did exactly as he instructed. Too well. He threw back his head at the first tentative touch of her tongue circling the broad head of his penis. This. This was heaven.
She
was heaven. An angel.

She licked and teased, paying special attention to the underside of the flared tip, and then traced the edges of the head, the ridge between it and the length of his shaft.

His breath escaped in a long hiss and his grip tightened in her hair and against her head, but she issued no complaint. She didn’t even flinch, but he still forced himself to be more gentle, reminding himself that she was not unhurt. She shouldn’t even be doing this. She’d been attacked, shot and then nearly raped by that son of a bitch Bristow. What was he thinking, subjecting her to this when she should be lying in his arms resting?

And yet the selfish part of him couldn’t deny himself this one pleasure. The only thing he’d ever wanted for himself. The only thing he’d ever
needed
. He, who needed nothing and no one. But he needed
her
.

Reluctantly he pulled himself from her satin lips and simply sat there, his breaths harsh and loud in the quiet room.

“Just give me a minute, baby,” he rasped out.

“Then you like it?” she asked shyly. “Am I doing what you like?”

He bent down, dragging himself to her mouth to kiss her, to show her just how damn much he liked it.

“I don’t like it. I fucking love it.”

She rewarded him with a smile that stole the breath right from his lungs.

“I want more now,” she said.

“You’ll get it,” he promised.

Once more palming her head and tangling his fingers more harshly than he intended, he guided her back to his straining dick.

“I’m going to start with shallow thrusts to allow you time to adjust. I don’t want you to panic. Breathe through your nose. When I think you’re ready, I’m going deeper. I’m going to go very deep,” he said, clear warning in his voice. Her one chance to back out.

But she didn’t so much as hesitate. She only nodded, excitement and arousal flaring in her eyes.

“Trust me,” he said. “I’ll hold you there and I want you to swallow around the head, milking me. The pleasure is indescribable. But don’t panic. I’ll know when you need to breathe and I’ll pull back. But I’m going to push you, Honor. I’m going to see how much you can take. If at any time it’s too much, you need a break or you want me to stop, you squeeze my legs.”

His hands left her head long enough to collect her bandaged hands, sorrow once more filling him at the desperation it had taken for her to do this to herself. To actually try and end her precious life.

Carefully, as if they were the most fragile and cherished things in the world, he placed her palms down on top of his thighs, roped with thick muscles, hardened by the many years of relentless training and use.

He pressed her thumb into his flesh, looking at her as he did so. “That’s all you need to do. And I’ll stop. Immediately.”

She frowned and shook her head. “Hancock, I like touching you. I’m sure I’ll be squeezing you a lot. There has to be another signal. My hands will never stay still.”

He smiled. “Yes. They will. Because I’m telling you they will. Don’t move your hands, Honor. Only if you want me to stop. Do you understand?”

She shivered at the demand, the dominance he couldn’t keep from his voice. Her submission, what a gift. If only he could have this for a lifetime. Yes, he would absolutely dominate her entire life. He would control every aspect of her life. But there would never live a more pampered, spoiled, cherished-beyond-measure woman than this woman here. His dominance would be of love and his need to protect and provide. Never to punish, to be a controlling asshole. Everything. All things. It would all be for her. His life. His
very existence. His only goal to please her and make her happy.

“I understand,” she whispered, her eyes glittering with need. Her lips parted and she licked over them as if she couldn’t wait another moment for his cock.

He gave it to her, feeding it inch by agonizingly slow inch, stopping to allow her to grow accustomed to his size. He knew without false modesty that he was not a small man. Nor was he average. Women had refused him after seeing his size. Others had groaned, unbelieving of their luck.

To him it was just an appendage. Another weapon in an arsenal he carried with him at all times. Only now was he aware that he could hurt Honor. That he could frighten her. That his size could very well intimidate her and make her think she wasn’t capable of pleasing him. As if.

“Okay?” he whispered when his dick was halfway inside her silken mouth.

Her eyes answered for her, glowing brightly, a clear invitation for more. Hell, it was a demand. But her hands remained still, just as he knew they would once he’d made the demand. He also knew that she would never stop him, no matter how far he took things, and he was mindful of that every second.

He paused, withdrew and this time pushed with more force, eliciting a gasp as her cheeks bulged outward. But she quickly calmed herself, exhaling through her nose, and he felt her relax around his girth, sucking him further inward.

He withdrew, and each time he thrust farther, gaining more depth, each time measuring her response, looking for any sign that he was pushing too far. Scaring her. Hurting her. And every time, she gave him a hungry look that told him she only wanted more.

Convinced that she wasn’t going to shatter, he finally gave in to the beast inside roaring to take control and find his pleasure. To dominate, take over and take what was his at least for this one night.

Never once did her fingers tighten. Her thumb, instead of pressing into his skin, the signal he’d given her that meant it was too much, caressed him, rubbing lightly in circles, humming around his cock in satisfaction.

Just touching him brought her pleasure.

It baffled him. He didn’t understand this—her—this connection. Her easy acceptance of him. Of what he was. Of his needs that many would call twisted. Sick. Perverse. She accepted them as naturally as she would breathing.

He became rougher, though he was ever mindful of every single injury and where he could and couldn’t touch her.

But then he could stand no more and he framed her face in his large hands and held her firmly, giving her no choice but to kneel there and take whatever he chose to do. He fucked her hard and long, stopping when he was at his deepest and reveling in her swallowing delicately around the head of his dick, sucking down the sips of pre-cum, merely a precursor of what was to come.

He knew she expected him to come in her mouth, but he had other plans. Primitive. Animalistic. All traits he knew existed within the monster he was.

Then he eased out, letting her catch her breath. He glanced down at her, allowing what he felt to show in his eyes. To let her know that she mattered. He’d said it many times, but this time he gave her the evidence. What he never gave anyone else. Himself, unguarded. His eyes not shielded. She gasped and tears gathered in her eyes, then slowly trickled down her face, colliding with the hands that held her so firmly in place.

“I’m going to fuck you hard, Honor,” he said, his voice harsh, laced with drugged passion.

“Please,” she softly entreated as the tip of his dick rested on her lips. “Give me everything, Hancock. I want so badly to please you. To give you back what you gave to me. There is
nothing
you can do to make me reject you.”

With a guttural cry, he drove hard, almost punishingly to the very back of her throat, stealing her breath. He didn’t bother remaining there. He was so close. So very close to coming. And he wanted this. Fucking her mouth. Marking her. She was his for tonight. And she would know it.

He fucked long and hard. She struggled for breath, but quickly adapted and learned how to breathe as he withdrew. When he felt the first burst of semen splash onto her tongue,
his iron control nearly deserted him and he nearly stayed there, filling her mouth with his essence.

Instead he allowed her that taste. Just the one. So she’d go to sleep smelling him, his taste in her mouth.

When he withdrew, she protested and her eyes were hurt, shadowed. As if she thought she’d done something wrong. He caressed her cheek with one hand, holding his engorged cock with the other.

He slid his hand down underneath her chin and lifted, baring her neck, and then he began to pump his dick with his hand, hard, nearly vicious. Thick white ropes splashed onto her neck and then he directed it onto her breasts, coating each one, her nipples and then finally her face, pressing his erection to her satiny flesh so it didn’t just fly all over her skin, uncontrolled, so it didn’t hit her in the eyes.

He smeared his release on her cheeks and then over her lips, coating them like lipstick and then as the last came, he pushed inside her mouth again, deep, hard, and stayed there as he pulsed against the very back of her throat. Spending himself to the very last drop there in the honeyed silk of her luscious mouth.

He could spend forever there.

She licked over his slowly softening shaft, sucking tenderly, as if she knew how hypersensitive he was now that he’d orgasmed. She cupped his balls with one hand, stroking them lovingly as she cleaned every last drop of his semen from his dick.

When he finally slipped free of her mouth, she cupped his waning erection in her palms and pressed a kiss to the head, licking ever so lightly at the slit as she fondled his sac.

Then she looked up at him, her heart in her eyes, tears glistening, tiny diamonds attached to her lashes.