Darkest Dreams (29 page)

A sense of surreal slowness took over my body. Through my burning vision, I could see the water whoosh around me. I could see my hair floating about me. I could see my arm stretch for the light and my skirts move as I tried to kick my way to it. An inky blackness stole into my mind and I knew that, as impossible as it seemed, I was moments away from death.

I wasn't frightened as much as I was angered. I didn't want to die. I hadn't loved everyone enough. Hadn't told them how much they meant to me. I wanted to see Alex laugh again. I wanted to feel his arms around me. I didn't want him to be so alone that he had nothing to tie him to this world. I wanted to love him longer. Shoving with all my might, I surged upward, but another wave crashed against me. I could feel it twisting me even though my vision had gone. Then something jerked my arm, and I read Alex's turbulent thoughts of guilt and fear as he pulled me upward. Wrapping his arm around my waist, he surged to the surface. I broke through to the air, and dragged in deep long breaths. The blackness receded, leaving me dizzy.

“Don't you dare think that! It's not your fault,” I said, gasping.

Alex looked at me strangely, then shook his head. “Come on,” he said, slipping an arm around me and pulling me against him. He swam backward to the shore. I was shocked to realize just how far the sea had dragged me out in so short a time. The moment we hit the beach, he laid me on the sand and kissed me as if the world had really ended.

“I'm sorry,” he whispered. “Good God, I'm sorry.”

I blinked salt water from my eyes and thought there were tears falling from his. “Shh,” I said. “It's not your fault, and I am all right. I panicked and jerked on Delilah's reins so hard I frightened her, and I fell off when she reared back. You didn't do that, I did, so you can't blame yourself.” I sighed with relief that he didn't bring up the fact that I'd chastised him for blaming himself before he'd verbalized it. The fact that he'd looked at me so strangely in such a dire moment told me that I was right to keep my secret. It would change everything between us were he to find out, and I didn't want that to happen. Not yet. But guilt that I wasn't being honest with him about who I was swamped me as hard as the sea had. I couldn't think about that now. Alex had to understand he wasn't responsible for what had happened.

“I went rushing off and left you,” he said grimly.

“Well, you did do that. You should have at least listened to me before you rushed off. But good Lord, Alex. You can't blame yourself for every mishap. I am an adult, and I could have very easily dismounted and marched down the beach if I hadn't felt confident enough to ride. And if you remember, I challenged
you
to a race. So if anyone is to blame it is myself.”

He bent down and kissed me again. “You make a beautiful liar, Andromeda.”

“And you make a wonderful Perseus. You do realize that you just saved me from the sea.”

He shook his head, and I saw the beginnings of a smile curve the grim set of his lips.

Horses' hooves thundered along the beach. Neither Alex nor I looked up. I assumed, as he probably did, that Samson and Delilah were approaching.

“What have we here? Exploring artifacts on the beach, Miss Andrews?” came a cynical drawl.

Alex rolled to his feet, and I managed to sit up and glare at Sir Warwick and Constable Poole.

“I don't like your tone or your insinuation, Warwick. You owe the lady an apology. What we have is a woman who almost drowned when she was thrown from her horse. Since this is my land, perhaps you'd better tell me why you two are running about on it?” Alex had both hands planted on his hips looking like a pirate ready to run the enemy through at the least provocation, and Sir Warwick's mere presence was just that.

Alex caught hold of my elbow and helped me to stand. I felt like a miserable drowned rat and probably looked that way too.

“My apologies then,” said Warwick. Dressed impeccably as always, he wore his habitual expression of boredom and disdain. By the way he studied my face I felt as though he could see right into my thoughts and knew exactly how intimate Alex and I were.

“We're here looking for you, Viscount Blackmoor,” replied the constable. His long mustache whipped in the wind, and one hand held his hat while the other clutched the reins of a horse that appeared as if it had three feet in the grave. “The caves have been opened again. Did you give the order for it to be done?”

“Of course not. It would seem that I'm going to have to put a guard on the cliffs. Any idea who keeps trespassing?”

“No, but it could be we've smugglers about.”

Alex shook his head. “I would know if something like that was happening at night in my cove.”

“That's what I think,” said the constable.

Alex cocked his head, his stance widening just enough that I knew he took the constable's remark as a threat. “Are you insinuating that I am involved in such an activity, Constable Poole? I assure you, any goods I transport on my ship are legally exchanged. Do you doubt that?”

The constable blustered. “Certainly not. I only agree that you would have known if something ill was taking place.”

“Then Miss Andrews and I will bid you adieu, gentlemen. It is imperative that I get her back to Killdaren's Castle before she catches a chill. I'll have the caves attended to.”

I think my shivering was more from almost drowning than from the cold, though the wind did seem cooler now that I was wet.

“Then we'll say goodbye,” said Sir Warwick. “Would you like for us to ride to Killdaren's Castle and have one of your sisters come?”

I shook my head, a bit consoled by his consideration. “No, thank you. I'll be fine.”

They rode off and Alex turned to me. “Are you sure you aren't injured?”

“Only my pride, I think. I know how to swim, but I couldn't seem to make any headway between the strength of the current and the weight of my skirts.”

“Dragon's Cove is known for its treacherous current. Something about the shape of the land pulls everything out to sea even during an incoming tide. It's even worse now with the tide receding.” He slid his arm around me and pulled me close against him, holding me tight. “When I think of what almost happened…I—”

“Don't,” I said, leaning up to brush my lips over his. He kissed me as if I were fragile glass that would break in a soft wind. I wrapped my arms around his neck and demanded more, and he gave me more. Desire flared hotly, making me ache for the feel of him inside me again.

“Another kiss like that, and you'll not only be wet, but you will be naked on the beach even if Warwick and the constable are wandering around. We'd better get you back home.” He whistled and received an answering neigh. A moment later Samson and Delilah appeared, coming over the top of a large sand dune. “We're halfway between Dragon's Cove and Killdaren's Castle. Do you want me to carry you back to take a carriage home?”

“No,” I said, drawing a deep breath. “I think I can ride home, but just slower than before.”

“All right. We'll take the path though the woods. With less wind, it will be warmer than riding along the shore.” He helped me remount Delilah and then joined me once he was on Samson. Riding side by side, we entered into the maritime forest and made our way to Killdaren's Castle.

“What upset you before?” I asked after a few minutes. “When I spoke of your brother?”

“Can't you just leave this alone? There're things that you won't tell me. Do I keep probing you for answers?”

“No.”

“I want them though. I hope soon you'll trust me enough to tell me everything.”

“It isn't a matter of trust, Alex. My situation is different than yours. You're sacrificing your life on an erroneous assumption that Sean's life was forfeited during your fight and all that is left of him is a shell of a man. You couldn't be more wrong. How can I not make you hear the truth at least once?

“He was injured in an accident. He's made adjustments. He lives a full life. He is not crippled. What if the reverse had happened, Alex? What if you had fallen over the cliff during the fight and not Sean? What if he'd saved your life, like he did when you were eight and the boat capsized? Would you want him to do what you are doing?”

“That's not a fair question.”

“Why not? Is he any more or less of a man than you are? I don't think so. The only one who thinks Sean is crippled is you, and ironically the only one who was crippled in the accident was you. But you don't have to believe me. You can find out for yourself, by making peace with Sean.”

“So you've figured everything out, and it is as simple as that?”

The exasperated sarcasm underlying his question set my teeth on edge. “No, but I do know that nothing will ever be different unless you make it different. Sean won't see that he is wrong about this whole Dragon's Curse nonsense unless you show him, and that can't happen as long as you two sit in your castles like hermits with your fingers stuck in your ears so you can't hear anything but yourselves.”

“What makes you think a thousand years of history is nonsense?”

“I didn't say the history of the curse is nonsense. The existence of the curse between you and Sean may just very well be, though. Both of you have proved it false. He saved your life when you were children, and you saved his life eight years ago. Why aren't you both shouting that you've managed to break the Dragon's Curse? You can't change the past, but you can direct the future. Start a new book. Title it
The Dragon's Curse Undone
. A record of Killdaren twins who saved each other's life.”

“Any other world problems you want to solve?”

“Yes, but I'll wait and speak to someone who is intelligent enough to listen to some simple truths.” The towers of Killdaren's castle appeared over the trees, and I urged Delilah ahead. Alex kept close, but silent. I may not have been all right in what I'd said, but I wasn't all wrong either, and I wasn't about to let him make me feel as if I were.

Reaching the back of the castle, I didn't wait for his help. I slid from the saddle and forced my shaky knees to hold me upright as I handed Delilah's reins to Alex. “Thank you for a lovely day,” I said primly, and marched away.

“Bloody hell, Andromeda, you can't expect—”

“Andrie! What happened?” Cassie exclaimed, opening the back door and stepping outside.

“I went swimming,” I said.

Gemini joined her. “Why did you do that in your dress? You know we're supposed to go to the mansio—ohh.”

Cassie jabbed Gemini in the side. “Never mind,” she said, looking curiously at Alex. “Hurry inside and we'll ready a bath for you. We were about to have tea.”

“I'll take mine in the tub,” I said, marching up the stairs.

“Your sister was thrown from her horse and almost drowned. She's more than a little addled at the moment.”

Gritting my teeth against the implication that I had no idea what I was talking about, I turned to face him. He looked as if he teetered on the edge of being as wet and wild and as angry as a man could get. I didn't hesitate to push him over. “At least I haven't spent the last eight years of my life with my head buried in the sand.”

“At least I realize that cataloguing artifacts doesn't qualify me as an expert in relationships.”

“At least I have relationships,” I shouted back and then ran inside, bursting into tears.

Cassie came to me and put an arm around my shoulders. “Gemini, go tell Bridget that we'll take our outing another day.”

Gemini groaned.

“No,” I said, dashing my tears away. “I'm fine. We'll go just as soon as I can bathe and dress. It's just that he can make me so angry. How can he be so smart but so stubbornly stupid?”

Gemini giggled. “Bridget just came storming in from outside and said the same thing. Only she said ‘bloody stupid'.”

“Ladies don't say bloody,” Cassie said, half-heartedly. “Go get Andrie some tea and some clothes while I help her get in the tub.”

Gemini ran off, and Cassie hurried me into a room off the kitchens where a number of tubs waited with water already heated in a nearby kettle.

She started to pull down soap and a towel from a nearby shelf as I worked on my buttons. “Sean's going to put in electric lighting and plumbing,” she said, sounding odd.

I frowned her way. I already knew that, just as I knew that Sean hadn't bothered with lighting before because light bothered him, and that he'd seen no use for plumbing the whole castle since he had a natural hot spring Roman bath in his wing.

“Bloody hell, Andrie. Is he going to marry you?” she blurted as she swung around, looking angry and confused.

“What?” I paused in unbuttoning my skirt.

She flung her hands up in the air. “We don't have time to pretend. Gemini will be back in just a few minutes. I quite understand the Killdarens' devastating appeal. I'm married to Alex's twin, and I know you. The look in both of your eyes says it all. So, is he going to marry you?”

I shut my eyes, praying for strength. This was going to be the hardest battle of all to face. “Cassie. It isn't a question of him marrying me. I won't be marrying anybody.”

“Why?”

“Because I can't.” Hurriedly undressing, I climbed into the steamy tub and picked up the soap.

She poured water over my head. “‘Because I can't' doesn't work. Why?”

I sudsed up my hair and she rinsed it. “You know why,” I said. “No man can live with a woman who goes around reading all of his thoughts.”

“What do you mean? I thought you only read thoughts and feelings on occasion.”

I drew a deep breath, realizing that I had to tell Cassie. She had to understand what was happening in my life. Not knowing was only going to cause her to worry more. “When we lived in Oxford, I guess I didn't come into contact with others very much. I was accustomed to reading your thoughts and Gemini's and wasn't overly concerned or burdened by my ability, but when we came here everything changed. It's worse now, Cassie. That man on the boardwalk who went running into the street—I saw the image of him murdering his wife when he bumped into me. I accused him of killing her, and that was why he ran. It's that way with everyone now. Even you. If you've an image of something in your mind when I touch your hand, I see it.”